What Wicked Games We Play

Between songs, she took a chance to grab a drink. It gave me a chance to scan the room. I was a little shocked when I spotted Hannah, not on the dance floor but off to the side at one of the lean on tables.

Standing alone, she swayed sexily to the music, alone and uncaring. She had her eyes closed, lost to the rest of the world. Mesmerised, she was all I could focus on. I missed Sylvie, waving frantically that she wanted to carry on with the song. I knew the ending, and was already in it when I picked up that I was the only one stopping.

Still, once the drums stop, everything else grinds to a halt as well.

Sylvie stormed back to face me over the kit. "What the fuck. We were supposed to keep playing. The crowd were into it."

I shrugged, not really caring. Sylvie glowered at me with a dark intent. "Pay fucking attention, Abby."

She went back to the mic, and we sailed headlong into our next number. I couldn't wait for the end of the set. Once we finished, I grabbed a drink and wandered off to catch up with Hannah, who was trying in vain to get rid of some dude who was hassling her for a dance.

"Wanna get a drink?" I asked, pushing in front of him.

"Sounds nice," she said with a grateful smile.

We walked off to the bar where I ordered us both fresh drinks. "Who was the guy?"

She smiled acceptingly. "Some drunk. I'm sure I have seen him in the bank, but for the life of me I cannot remember."

Thankfully, he had moved on by the time we got back to her table. "Why don't you join the girls down the front. It'd keep arseholes like him from hounding you."

"No, I don't know any of them. Besides, I'm happy here ogling the drummer. She is a cutie."

I blushed, leaning against the table. "How were your parents?"

"Oh, they were good. Poor Dad, though. He looks more and more worn out. Even if he took on some help, but he's too damn stubborn."

"Have you thought about secretly buying them an ocean cruise for an anniversary or birthday?"

She stopped, slurping on her straw, her eyes fixing on mine. "Oh my god. Brilliant, why in gods name did I not think of that." She hugged me tight. "Thank you, Abby, what a wonderful idea."

"Hey, didn't I mention I'm a genius."

She giggled shyly. "No, I must have missed that. Attractive, talented and a genius. I think I must have hit the jackpot."

We laughed a little, and the conversation slipped into the band. "You sound really good," Hannah said admiringly.

"Thanks, it's better than I expected. Sylvie's into it and that flows into the band."

"Yes, credit's due. She is very good. I have to say though, I never imagined her being a singer."

"Oh shit, am I getting dumped for the singer already?"

She giggled, went back to sipping her Vodka. "That will never happen, trust me. I'm more interested in hearing you think you could be dumped. That implies that we were in a relationship."

I nodded. "It does, doesn't it."

"Are we?" she asked.

"I hope so," I replied, meaning every word. "Hannah, I don't know what you're looking for or what you want, but I'm interested. I sense something and would love to explore that."

Her hand dropped below the table, and she squeezed my hand. "Abby, I sense something as well. You are exactly the person I want to be with."

"Then what happens next?"

Her seductive eyes fluttered invitingly. "I was hoping we could meet after you are finished here."

The sound of the band back on stage dragged away my attention. "Abby," Sylvie shouted into the mic.

"I'd better go," I said as I rushed off towards the stage.

"Where the fuck were you?" Sylvie snarled like an angry sergeant major.

"Talking to a friend. What's your problem?"

"We wanted to talk about rearranging the set. You're just gonna have to go with it now. We already decided without you."

"You mean you decided," I snapped back just as angrily.

"What the fuck does that mean?" she barked.

"Nothing, you play what you want. I'll figure it out."

It turned out to be an incredible night. The crowd went off, they sang along danced as one, the whole dance floor bouncing and moving as a mass.

At the end of the night, we were all shattered. The barman brought us some more drinks, and we crashed. As he walked away, Sylvie called to him. "Mac, can we leave our gear set up and pick it up in the morning?"

"Yeah, no probs."

As we sipped on our drinks, I noticed Hannah was still there. I finished my drink and stood up. "I'm gonna hack a track. See you girls in the morning. What say we meet here at eleven?"

"Where are you going?" Sylvie muttered unhappily. "I was hoping to get a ride."

"Sorry, I'm meeting somebody. See yah tomorrow."

"Bye, Abby," Hayley and Darla called in unison.

Hannah was waiting outside, chatting with a few of the bar staff who were out there having a smoke.

She said her goodbyes, as I approached. "Should I call a cab?" she asked.

"Nah, I've only had a couple of drinks all night, and I promise, I well and truly wore those off on stage."

I guided her down to my old van, Gerty. She giggled climbing in, and brushed the seat down before getting comfortable.

"Is this thing road worthy?" she asked as we putted off up the road.

"Perfectly safe, it's even got a warrant."

"Who did you bribe for that?" She giggled evilly.

"Where are we actually going?" I asked curiosity getting the better of me. "Or are we going to drive around town aimlessly?"

"We could go to my apartment," she mumbled. "I do have a lovely bottle of Pinot from the Valli Vineyard here in the Waitaki."

"Sounds nice, do you often have girls staying over, or will your neighbours get a little sus?"

"I am allowed friends, Abby."

She sounded offended. "Hey, slow down. I didn't mean to piss you off. You said you wanted to keep your sexuality private."

She winced guiltily. "Sorry, I shouldn't have bitten your head off. Thank you for being so sensitive. I appreciate it. I do not think my neighbours care that much about what I get up to."

"Sweet, then wine at the Benson residence it is."

We finished the short drive to her apartment in silence, the exchange putting a damper on what up until then had been a really fun evening.

Inside, she directed me to the living area. "You get comfy, and I'll pour the wine."

The apartment was very nice, modern, bright and comfortably furnished. Very trendy and upmarket. I sat on the comfy two-seater couch, and cast my eyes around. It was impossible to know whether the artwork was hers, or whether it was simply part of the apartment.

Hannah turned up with the wine, and she slid in beside me. "What do you think?" she asked naturally.

"Very swish, is the artwork yours?"

She nodded. "Yes, I adore anything creative."

I noticed my pendant still dangling from her neck. She caught my eye. "Yes, it's beautiful isn't it."

I nodded in agreement. "Sure is."

"I am sorry about earlier. To be honest, I am touchy about it. My fault entirely. I am angry with myself. For years now I have been trying to be brave enough to tell the world about who I really am. Every time I get comfortable, something happens. I get promoted, offered a better job. Then I lose my nerve."

"No need to apologise, Hannah. I wasn't being a smarty pants. Everybody has to choose their moment. I didn't, it was made for me. Mum caught me with a friend in bed, so there was no hiding from it."

"Gee, that must have been awful?"

I laughed, remembering the look on my mothers face. "Yeah, you could say that."

"She was clearly happy for you though?"

"Yeah, she knew, at least that's what she said. I shoulda been more cautious, but it turned out for the best."

We sipped the wine, Hannah looking closely at my reaction. "You don't like?"

"Nah, not that. I feel like a bit of a fraud. I usually buy my wine in cardboard flasks at the supermarket. I'm hardly what you would consider a connoisseur."

"Oh right, is it horrible?"

"Nah, it's lovely actually. Well for me it tastes great."

She nestled in beside me. "Good, so long as you like it. Do not drink it if you don't."

"All good. Have you always been into wine?"

"Yeah, Mum and Dad were into it. I learned from an early age to appreciate good ones."

The wine slid down easily, a little bitterer than what I usually drank, but still very pleasant.

The silence was comfortable, but a little tension crept in. I think we were both waiting. Thankfully, she plunged into the deep end. Her kiss gentle, but enquiring. Welcoming, but insistent. Her tongue asking the questions as it swirled around mine with decided lascivious intent.

The morning dawned, as it always does, but this time, my eyes opened and I found myself staring into the deliciously gorgeous face of my lover.

"Ooh, you perv. What are you staring at?" She giggled.

"I could ask the same thing. You were obviously awake before me."

"Busted." She sighed. "I was simply admiring your beauty."

"Likewise," I murmured peacefully. "It's been a long time since I woke up in such spectacular company."

"Gee, you are a flatterer. I might keep you after all."

We made love again, slower, with freedom and laconic desire. Sunday mornings, perfect for a slow loving start to the day.

Breakfast was the same, fresh fruit and muesli, on the deck facing the ocean as the sun hang lazily on the eastern horizon.

"Lovely view isn't it?" Hannah said wistfully.

"Beautiful, for sure. Can't imagine why I was so keen to escape the place."

"For the same reason as me I expect. Stifling suffocating narrowmindedness. I needed a chance to try and find myself. All I knew was, I had to see what the world had to offer."

"Same, I wanted to see what was on offer. I finished Uni, and had to keep going. Uni was like: Shit, there's a whole world out there."

She smiled warmly. "Yes, gosh, it was the same for me. I knew I didn't fit in here. I thought, I had to get away, see why I felt so out of place."

"What happened?"

"At Uni, I met a girl. She was like everything I had dreamed about. Worldly, wise, carefree, and of course gay."

"You were lovers?"

"More like student and teacher. She became my mentor. She was everything I wasn't."

"Were you in love?"

"I... I was overwhelmed by her. She painted, she wrote amazing poetry. She had a certain freedom. I loved the thought of her."

"What happened?"

"I suppose it was the inevitable clash of our worlds. I can't explain it properly, perhaps because I never really understood. We argued, so many arguments. She didn't want a job, working for money was so degrading for her. She certainly liked my money though."

"Oh," I mumbled. "That's sad."

"No, I don't see it that way. It was a lesson about life. It's held me in good stead."

"Yes, but she used you."

"Perhaps." She sighed. "I used her as well, let's not forget. I think we came out even at the end. She opened a door. If it hadn't been for her, I might still be trapped behind it."

I hugged her across the little table. "Sorry, I better go and help the girls pack down."

"What are you going to do afterwards?"

"Nothing planned, probably try to do some work in the studio."

"Dinner?"

"Sounds good, why not come over to my place. I'll cook."

"Cook, is there anything you cannot do?"

"Nah, I'm pretty much the whole package."

"Cheeky and self confident. I like it."

*****

"Fuck you, Abby. We've been here for ages. Where the fuck were you?"

I glanced around the stage. Hardly anything had been moved. "Oh yeah. Been here for ages, huh? You didn't do much."

She turned away in anger. Her energy expelled in rolling and folding cables. Hayley and Darla both gave me welcoming hugs. "How long have you been here?" I asked.

"We arrived a few minutes before you." Hayley said with a squeaky subdued giggle.

"Great night last night, aye?" I said loudly.

"Friggin awesome." Darla replied. "Can't believe how many people were in here."

"Yeah, it went off all right."

I noticed Sylvie had sauntered over too the bar and was talking with the manager. I watched as he handed over the money.

"They want us back next Saturday night. They're gonna spend some money and advertise. It should be bigger than last night."

"Choice," Darla replied. "It's what we need."

"Yeah, if we could get a gig every week, we'd be doing all right." Sylvie handed out the cash, and we finished packing the gear in my van.

We all gathered at the rehearsal room and unloaded. Like always, we set the gear up so we could play.

"Feel like a jam?" Sylvie asked. "We should probably rehearse as much as we can this week. Whatya say?"

"Yeah, super keen," Darla answered. "I reckon we need to put a bit of effort in."

"I'm in," Hayley said, looking up from searching through her gig bag for some cables.

I really wanted to go home. I needed to do some house work, fresh linen, plus I needed to stop at the supermarket and the wholesalers, see if I could find a bottle of wine that might impress Hannah. "Um, it'll have to be a quick jam. I have some friends coming over for dinner tonight."

"Ooh, la de dah," Sylvie said mockingly. "Since when do you have friends." To make it seem more demeaning, she used air quotes. The girls sniggered at her snide comment. That hurt a little, I did have friends, recently I'd been putting the band first.

I put the sticks down on the side drum, and stood back up. "You know what," I said staring at Sylvie. "I don't need your shit. I'll see you all Wednesday night for rehearsal."

"Oh for fucks sake. It was a joke girl. Get over yourself."

"Nah, I don't need that negativity in my life."

Hayley caught me as I stepped out from behind the kit. She threw her arms around me. Her bass clunking me in the elbow. "Please stay. We're sorry. It was a stupid shitty joke. You have more friends than the rest of us put together."

"Yeah, sorry spunky," Darla sighed apologetically. "It was uncalled for. We do need to work on stuff."

Sylvie glared at me, our eyes locked in a challenging expectancy. She cracked. "Yeah okay. It was a cheap shot. Sorry you pissed me off being late."

"I wasn't late, you only got there just before me."

"It wasn't just today. At the gig you vanished. We wanted to talk, but you fucked off and left us hanging."

"I'm sorry, I met some friends and they wanted to chat. I love being in the band, but there are other people in my life."

I sat back down behind the kit. Hayley gave me a huge warm smile. "Thanks, sexy."

"Fuck off, you're the sex bomb."

The jam started as always, with a mad free for all, Sylvie leading us in with a ripping guitar riff. Hayley, as always, jumped right on it, her magic fingers finding a pumping bass line.

Closing my eyes, I followed her lead. It was one big fat juicy beat. I made sure we were tightly synched. She and I were the groove machine, the heart of the band. If we weren't tight, we sounded awful.

Thankfully, Hayley and I were always simpatico. She made sure I was in the pocket and she let me set the time.

Darla, after picking up the melody, brought in a big Wurlitzer type carnival sound, her fingers dancing across the ivories. What a riff, it was awesome. I loved Sylvie's hard driving guitar. How she got that sound from her Tele always amazed me.

We moved into a group of songs that we struggled a little with. Playing them two or three times, we managed to put a little polish on them.

Before I knew it. We'd been at it for three hours. I sprang up from behind the kit yelling. "Shit, I'm late. Sorry girls, gotta go."

There were hugs from all, even Sylvie. "We sounded great." I yelled as I sprinted for the door. "Text me when you wanna get back together."

It left me in a mad panic, scurrying like mad through the supermarket. No list, my mind scrambled. Then the liquor wholesalers. By the time I got home, I was really feeling it. I still had housework, and the cooking.

"Hey, you look great." Hannah said, leaning in for a kiss. I held the door wide open, and she walked in.

"Wow, you look amazing," I replied, taking in her exquisiteness. She was always a picture of elegance. I suppose it's what attracted me to her. She has that innate ability to look good in anything.

She held up the bottle of wine, and I giggled. "What?" she asked.

I walked into the kitchen and held up the exact same bottle. "Snap."

She laughed loudly. "Wow, did Mark sell you that?"

"Yeah, I told you, I know nothing about wine. He recommended it."

"Well, he clearly has good taste. It is a wonderful wine."

She put her bottle on the bench, and I noticed her eyes wandering around the open-plan living area. "Have a look around. I have to turn the meat."

"It smells delicious. I could smell it from outside. Absolutely divine."

"I hope it tastes as nice. Sorry, I've been a bit rushed. I hope it's gonna be okay."

She wandered around the living room, stopping at every piece of art work, her gaze seemingly admiring.

"You have a good eye. I love this one."

"Yeah, my favourite. We used to go up there for holidays when I was a kid." I said of the Shannon Hephily painting of Lake Sumner.

She moved up the hallway as I poured the wine.

"How long have you lived here?" she asked.

"Going on three years. Mum and Dad helped me into the place. I couldn't have done it without them."

"Property prices are crazy, even around here. It was an excellent choice. The old Oamaru stone, it's a classic. Another couple of years and you will have doubled your money."

"That'd be nice, but I don't think I'd sell. I love it here. It's a nice warm cosy little house. I love the wood burner, even if it does mean getting firewood."

"Pity it's summer. We could snuggle up in front of it."

"We could still snuggle. Pretend there's flames."

"Oh, there's flames, they're just on the inside," she said seductively.

I leaned closer, and her lips, those gorgeous sexy lips slid wantonly over mine. The floral taste of the wine caressed my tongue. The exhilarating feel of her velvety lips, so provocative, her hand caressing my face, her fingertips trailing along my cheek bones.

The timer on the oven shocked me out of the moment. "Sorry, dinner calls," I said, placing my glass on the coffee table and heading for the kitchen.

"Do you need a hand?" she called after me.

"Nah, all good. You could put some sounds on."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her rifling through my CD collection. I couldn't see, but the moment the sultry sounds of Billy Holliday wafted out of my little stereo. I gasped. "You like Billy?" I said it total surprise."

"Adore her. I think she's stunning. I was a bit surprised to see that in your collection. I thought it would be all punk and rock."

"Nah, I like all sorts. I love her voice, sorta smoky, like cut ground glass."

"Yes, shame there's not more of her music available."

She helped me carry the plates out to the table, and we sat down to eat. "Gosh, this is divine." Hannah sighed in appreciation. "A perfect blend of flavours."

We drank our wine; the meal was nice. We chatted and I felt the bonds between us tightening. This was more than a brief fling, it felt deeper. We loved the same music, foods, books. Sexually, we were more than compatible. I had never found that before. The girls I'd dated never really fitted with me. I'm not committed to roles. I liked to be in charge sometimes, to lead. Sometimes I loved to be pampered, be told what to do. Hannah, at least appeared to be the same.

"You make my mum's day dishing up roast lamb."

"Do they not question you about partners, marriage?"

"Oh god, all the time. Mum tells me I am going to be an old maid if I'm not careful."

"Do you not want children?" I asked, feeling guilty for even going there.

"Maybe. I would need to feel comfortable. I would need to know it was forever. I do not want to be a solo mother. I would like children, but it would depend on my partner."