What Wicked Games We Play

A huge thank you to Randi for the invitation to participate.

Secondly and more importantly. Thanks also for editing and helping with my story. You're a treasure Randi.

*****

"Come on Abby, pick it up babe."

I gave her a quizzical glance. She set the pace for gods sake, all I did was follow her lead.

Her glare darkened, replaced by a scowl. "Pick it up, come on, it's not a fucking funeral march."

I stopped playing, and the others followed suit. "Sylvie, I'm just playing. It's your song, you set the pace when we started."

"Nah, not like that. It's gotta be brighter, up tempo."

"All right, humour me. Start it again, if you want it faster, or a different feel. You set it."

"Fuck, Abby, why do you always have to be this way with my songs?"

"Hey, they're your songs okay. I'm just trying to find a feel or groove that fits." I looked around at the other girls, and neither would hold my pleading look for support.

I shrugged casually as I sat on my throne waiting. Sure enough, Sylvie started at pretty much the same pace and tempo as previously. I liked the song, but the way she played it was slow, a ballad, a love song.

I picked up my phone, and hit record. Holding it up, I waited for the other girls to come in. Just like the last take, they played pretty much what they played last time. I let it record for over a minute. Sylvie started singing, and it did sound great, but it was the same feel.

When I didn't come in with drums, she turned again to glare at me. "What the fuck are you doing?" she snapped curtly.

"Recording, listening. It's a great song Sylvie, I like it. What I don't get is what you want from me?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's a ballad, a powerful love song. It's awesome, but that's what it is. You just played it exactly the same way as you did the first time. I can't change it if you're gonna play it that way."

"I want it brighter, more up tempo."

Reaching for my microphone, I hit play on my phone and held it close to the mic. "This is what you played both times okay."

Everybody stood listening to it, and I noticed Darla, and Hayley nodding and tapping their feet.

"Now you tell me Sylvie. How do I play something up tempo to that?"

She grimaced, it was right there in her face. "Okay, maybe I slowed down cos of the way you played it before. You start, I want a straight ahead 4 on the floor feel. Rock, in your face, and faster okay."

"Okay, your call." I put my phone away, and picked up my sticks. If she wanted rock, she'd get it. I quickly found an up temp rock groove, and played forcefully. Solid, no fills, just a straight ahead rock beat.

The other girls looked confused: what were they gonna play? They waited for Sylvie. I have to give her credit, she tried. Her guitar line, which had sounded great before, now sounded out of sorts, the feel no longer fitting. The girls came in, trying to find something solid, something to add drive. Darla, on the keys, rather than playing the melody, stuck with strong chorded notes. Hayley pumped up the bass, keeping it short and sharp.

Sylvie, now lost, couldn't make the words fit, and after a couple of minutes gave up. "Okay, that's not gonna work." She let the guitar slide back, then ran her fingers through her tightly woven red perm.

"Fuck." She snarled. "Play me what you played before. Maybe all we have to do is speed it up?"

"Yeah, I can do that, but why?"

"Cos I want it to be like a rock song, not a pop ballad."

"Babe, this is a fucking great song, and the feel we had before sounded really sweet. Why try to turn it into something it isn't?"

"I dunno. I heard it different in my head. I talked to Harris, and he suggested if we want to record something we have to be more rock."

"Fuck Harris." I groaned in dissatisfaction. "The guys an arsehole. He runs a shitty home studio from his garage. He's never recorded anything of note, and you're taking advice from him. To hell with that."

"We all agreed we need to record some stuff. Show people what we're capable of. Shit we hardly get any gigs, and it's been so much harder since COVID. We need something to lift our profile."

"Yeah, we did agree." I muttered. "But don't listen to that shit head. He knows nothing."

"If you want something rockier, then lets pick another song. We have like ten to pick from."

"Yeah, but I like this one."

"So do I, let's polish it up, but it is what it is. A lovely sweet fucking love song."

"Abby's right, Syl." Hayley finally spoke up. "It is a cool song, and I like it n all, but it didn't feel right as a rock song."

"Spose." Sylvie finally said after a brief pause. "What about recording, are you girls still keen?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind, but it's not gonna help us get local gigs. We've played most venues that'll put on live music." I said cautiously trying not to start a fight. "They already know what we're capable of."

Sylvie scowled again, my words clearly pissed her off. "But if we had something to send venues a bit further afield we could maybe get gigs, plus there's plenty of festivals. We could try for that, you know."

"Festivals, they don't usually take on cover bands. We'd need to be totally original for that. We only have like ten songs between us."

"Fuck, why d'ya have to be so negative all the time?" she hissed at me. "If you're not interested, maybe you should just fuck off."

Her eyes zeroed in on me, as if she wanted me to die from her deadly glare.

"You know what, Syl? I might just do that. I'm getting sick of your stupid games anyway. If you don't get what you want, you're all bitchy and sulk until we all give in."

Hayley and Darla stood off to the side exchanging anxious tetchy glances.

"Yeah, well if that's the way you feel, maybe you actually should fuck off."

"No worries, consider this my resignation letter then." I started packing up my drum kit, getting out the bags and folding up all the stands.

"Don't do this," Hayley said in frustration. "There's no need to leave."

"Yeah, don't do it Abby," Darla reiterated. "Who cares about a song. We can record it."

"Nah, fuck that. This was supposed to be a bit of fun. Just gigging where we can. It was never about driving all over the country chasing gigs. Shit, I've got a full time job. I don't have the time for it."

Sylvie said nothing, focusing instead on playing on her phone.

With everything packed in my old van, I walked back in and gave Darla and Hayley cuddles. "It has been fun. Sorry it ended that way," I said.

"Ah shit, give her a couple of days, she'll calm down." Hayley whispered.

I giggled snidely. "Nah, I'm over it. It's like this every time somebody disagrees with her."

"Abbs, it's just you push her flamin' buttons. You do it on purpose."

"Did you think I was wrong?"

"Nah, but shit, it didn't have to be the end of the world like... Shit girl."

I glanced over at Sylvie, who had her head buried in her phone. "See yah."

"Yeah, whatever bitch," she replied.

The drive home was a little sad. We'd had a lot of fun with our little band. Played at most pubs in town, parties for friends, and a couple of events arranged by locals. Small town New Zealand, it's hard to get gigs all the time. We gigged regularly, and it was awesome. All our friends came along, they danced and cheered to support us. We had even managed to get a little fan club.

Hard enough in small towns at the best of times. Being an all-girl lesbian band. That just made it harder. We'd all grown up here, went to the same high school, played in the same teams. Funnily enough, we were never really friends. We just travelled in different groups. I lived out of town; my parents owned a farm. Which meant I had my own group of friends. We did all the usual things, pony club, played for the local netball team.

A small community. The other girls all lived in town, again though, they were acquaintances rather than friends. I went off to Uni in Dunedin, studying business and accounting. Sylvie went to Lincoln, studying science. Hayley went off to do a course in hairstyling and beauty. Darla worked at her parents' nursery; she'd never left town.

Back home, I unloaded my car. "What the hell are you doing?" Alice, my house mate asked.

"Sylvie and me had a fight. Again. She told me to piss off, so I did."

She gave me a hug. "Damn, sorry babe. That's shitty."

"I guess it was coming. It's always been that way between us."

"Yeah, but you love the band."

"Oh well, doesn't matter. Might be a good thing. I can do without the stress."

Her boyfriend James came out and gave me a hand. "All over, huh?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"She'll calm down. She's always been like it. Blowing up over nothing. You'll see. Next week it'll be all on again."

"Not this time, Jimmy me boy. This time I think it's terminal. Not just her. I don't want to go through that shit all the time."

With the gear all packed away, it gave me a chance to think. Who knows why it is that two people can't get along. For no apparent reason, it had been that way with Sylvie and me. Shit, it was her band. She started it. She's the one who invited me.

Right from the outset, there was tension between us. I argued it was all her. She was such a bossy bitch. Wanted everything her own way. She was definitely a femme. Since I'd known her, she'd had a couple of girlfriends, and they were always submissive pets. Small town, everybody knew everybody. There were only a few gay girls in town. Weirdly, at different times, we had all dated them.

I know it sounds a bit incestuous, but small towns are hardly overflowing with pools of gay women.

The girls in the band were the gay cuties, and that included Sylvie. Maybe the cutest of all. Tall and winsome, elegant features. Slender and with silky porcelain skin. She dressed like she lived in New York, not little old Oamaru.

*****

Myself, I couldn't wait to get out of Oamaru, leave the stifling confines of small town NZ. I'd never really been comfortable there. Never felt like I fitted. Waitaki girls, where we all went to school, was very proper. That was probably a good description of Oamaru in a nut shell. Very English. Old stone buildings, small houses with mowed lawns and neat gardens.

Hardly a modern looking place. The very picture of Victorian England.

I came home after getting a phone call from my mother. Dad had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and he was going down hill pretty quick.

My boss in London was nice, paid me out and sent me on my way. Sad as I was to be leaving, I guess I had been feeling a little homesick. My time travelling had proven one thing. Business, or accounting wasn't where I wanted to be. The last year I'd spent working in a little jewellery making business. It belonged to a woman I met through my girlfriend at the time.

I loved the work, making and fashioning jewellery. What I liked more, was the designing. It gave me the creative outlet I needed. I adored designing, coming up with ideas and then fashioning them from nothing.

After Dad passed, with the farm sold and mum with a nice little cottage, I had to do something. I'd had casual jobs, the usual check-out chick at the supermarket. Office admin temp. None of it was really me. My inspiration came when a small workshop/retail store came up for rent. Oamaru had grown this sweet little reputation as an alternative creative centre. It sorta centred around this art form known as steam punk... My little workshop/store was small, but cheap. Because of the people involved, all artsy alternative sort of people, I finally found somewhere I fitted in. Nobody cared that I was gay.

Sylvie's invite to join the band came out of nowhere. I was aware of her. Knew who she was, and that she had a band. We simply travelled in different circles.

"You know why you two are always fighting, don't you?" Alice said as I waited for the jug to boil.

Surprised by her apparent insight, I replied brusquely, "No, why don't you enlighten me?"

"Because she's into you."

"Oh my god. Get real." I laughed. "Shit, girl, you couldn't be more wrong if you tried."

"I'm serious, Abby. She's hot for you. We've all said it before."

"Who's we?" I spluttered, totally unaware that I had been the centre of speculation.

"All of us, your friends, dummy. We've seen it at gigs. The way she looks at you. She wants you, babe. Even Gloria, thinks so."

"Good god, you're smoking meth or some shit aren't you?" I gasped in total shock.

"Nope, what's more. Hayley and Darla agree. We all talked about it at your last gig. Sylvie, was off getting drinks, and you were taking a pee. We all laughed about it. You're so naive sometimes. For somebody who's travelled, and been places, you can be blind as."

After finishing my cuppa, I went off to bed, leaving Alice and Jimmy to the lounge. I liked sharing with them, they were so in love, besotted really. I tried to give them some space. Sharing a small house can be a bit overwhelming.

Mum gave me the deposit money after the farm sold. I think it was her trying to keep me in town. I laughed at the time. "Sneaky devil, you're trying to guilt me into hanging around."

She frowned. "Sweetheart, I know how difficult it is to get started. Houses are so expensive these days. Owning your own home, it will give you a chance at independence."

"Independence, aye? I think you're just being sneaky."

"No, well, possibly there's some truth in that. It's nice having you here in town."

"I'm glad. I want to be here for you, but you don't have to bribe me. I was staying anyway."

"It's not a bribe. Honestly, we have the money from the farm sale. Your father wanted to help you."

She helped me pick out the house, and even gifted me the money to start my little enterprise. I have to say, she was astounded when she saw some of the stuff I created.

Life had been pleasant, my social life a little empty. With so much effort in starting up, I never felt it, but when Sylvie turned up. I was surprised.

"Hey, Abby. How are you?"

"Choice, what about you? It's been a while."

"Oh nothing much. Working down at Wrightson's. This is pretty awesome. Where did you learn to make jewellery? I thought you were going to be an accountant?"

"Yeah nah. Not for me. I knew when I was at Uni that it wasn't for me. I went overseas as soon as I graduated."

"Sweet, where did you go, Aussie, I suppose?"

"Nah, England. Mum has family over there. They put me up while I had a look around."

"Wow, that sounds awesome. Did you get across to Europe?"

"Yeah, the usual. France, Spain, Portugal." I sniggered. "Oh yeah, Ibiza, everybody goes there."

"What about the jewellery?"

"Oh, I got a job working for a woman who designed and made it. I was just supposed to help her do markets and shit, but I started helping her with the manufacturing. She was fabulous to work with. Showed me heaps."

Sylvie, had been wandering around the shop. Picking up everything and looking at it in detail. "Shit girl, you're good. This stuff is amazing."

"Thanks, it's been going okay. I'm surprised how well it's worked out. Oamaru has changed."

She laughed at my statement. Nodding animatedly. "Yeah, it's got a bit of an edge these days. Still pretty quiet though."

"Yeah, I guess. I've been so busy helping Mum move and getting the business up and running, I haven't had much of a chance to socialise."

"Oh yeah, your Dad. Commiserations, sorry. I should have said that upfront. How's your Mum coping?"

"All good. She's got a place in town now. Big gardens that keep her active."

"Listen, the reason for my visit. I've heard you play drums?"

"Oh shit. Who told you that?" I gasped.

"A little birdy. Is it true?"

"Yeah, I played a little at Uni. Shit, I even played in a couple of punk bands. It was pretty sweet. actually."

"I bet," she said, acknowledging my reply. "It just so happens Darla Armstrong, Hayley Mitchell and I are putting together a band. We have all been playing in different bands, but we want an all girl band. Sort of alternative covers with some originals."

"Wow, Darla and Hayley. I knew Darla played piano, but I didn't know Hayley played."

"Like you, she learned while she was at the hairdressing academy. She's played in a few bands."

"What are you looking to do?"

"We're just having some fun. Nothing too serious. Play some gigs, write a few songs and see what happens."

"Right, yeah I'd be keen on that. It couldn't be too serious. I put a lot of hours into this place. How often do you rehearse?"

"We haven't yet. The other girls are still in different bands. All we've done is talk."

"Right, an all-girl band. Sounds good. Might be a good selling point for some of the local pubs. Everybody needs something a bit different. Something that sets them apart. What sorta music?"

"Mostly top forty, local stuff mostly. We have all been writing songs, we'd like to include those as well."

"Sweet, I write as well."

"Cool bananas."

"All right, when shall we get together?"

"Are you busy this weekend?"

"Saturday, I have the shop open, but Sundays I'm free."

"Okay, I'll check with the girls." She reached out, picking up one of my business cards. "I'll take one of these and give you a buzz."

"Sweet, good to see you again Sylvie." As she wandered out of the shop, I walked out from behind the counter and watched her meander slowly up the street. Shit, she certainly looked a whole lot better than I remembered. Very sexy.

There had been a few rumours about her sexuality. I wondered if that were true? I remember some stories from Waitaki girls. Yeah... Maybe. My gaydar wasn't exactly going off like an alarm, but there was a buzz, a feeling.

We never managed to get together for nearly a month after Sylvie's visit to the studio. When it all went silent. I wondered if it was some weird story Sylvie cooked up. Then from nowhere, she called to say Sunday afternoon. We were going to be rehearsing.

The good news for me was the rehearsal space was not far from the studio. Sylvie had managed to get the use of an old storage shed. "Wow, this is fucking ace," I said impressed. "The sound in here is nice, and there's no neighbours. We can rock out and not piss anybody off."

"Yeah, and it's secure, we're gonna be able to leave all our gear here." Sylvie stated rather proudly. I've already got the keys."

After setting up, everybody was busily tuning up and finding amp settings they liked. I picked up on some thing's pretty quick. Darla in no way masked the fact she was gay. She was out and proud of it. She had that cute, butchy look, short hair, multi coloured. Her clothes were masculine without being too much.

Hayley was a definite femme. She like to dress classy. She looked hot actually. Her long blonde hair suited her cherubic face. Very kissable lips.

Sylvie though was harder to pick, but there was a vibe. My gaydar set on on high alert. It tingled all the way down my spine.

Tuning complete, I asked. "What do you want to start with?"

"Do you all know Lady Gaga's Telephone?" Sylvie asked.

A unanimous head nodding session, and we were into it. Sylvie holding the vocals and guitar. Hayley followed easily, and Darla wasn't far behind. I knew the song well, had played it many times. I filled the beat with a stomping powerful beat.

Yeah, we nailed that one. Two more of her songs, and we were flowing nicely.

Darla surprised me by wanting to cover Chris Issac. Her heavily accented keyboards held the riff until Sylvie picked it up, Darla and Sylvie swapping vocals and supplying harmonies. I also knew the song, and added my harmony. Three part harmonies, I loved that full rich sound.

"Baby wants a bad bad thing." Such a choice hook. We all sang along.