When Average Turns into Amazing

Dragon Age 2 fic. Not written seriously, so please chill and just enjoy.

The Hanged Man was crowded at this time of day, though it could be said about the tavern at every other point in time as well. The Lowtown of Kirkwall was full of soldiers, laborers, miners, refugees, thieves, brigands, and all other kinds of people who tended to spend every money on ale, mead, booze, or practically any alcohol cheap enough for them to purchase.

One particular group though could always get a free table no matter the time: Hawke's party, courtesy of Varric's acquaintance with both the bartender and most of the patrons - a good portion of them owned the dwarf and was always seeking to be on the good term with him. "Please, serah Tethras, sit on my chair, I don't need it anymore" was an example of such behavior.

The said dwarf was now coming to the table holding a big mug full of ale, which looked completely oversized compared with his height. He kept it close to his famous haired chest, revealed by usual attire.

"I'm gonna ask again, Rivaini." He said, climbing onto a chair, on which a bunch of pillows was set for him to reach a tabletop. "What with the long face?"

The pirate captain hasn't even started her beverage. Few still full mugs rested before her, while she was just sitting there with a disturbed face, resting her head on the bent arm. She dipped her finger in one of the mugs and was now drawing some indistinct shapes on the table.

Merrill was a completely different case. Being utterly excited that someone invited her to the tavern, she was drinking her beer like water, being currently completely dizzy with alcohol running through her veins.

"Long face, hihihi." She giggled so hard, that she almost fell off her chair if Varric hadn't pulled her by a sleeve.

"Haven't you got everything you wanted lately?" The dwarf continued. "Thanks to Arishok's death you have qunari off your back, and by returning with the Tome of Koslun you proved to be more ethical than you pretended to be. You even won Hawke's heart, beating three other people to it, including Daisy over here."

"Wait, she wanted Hawke?" A hiccup interrupted Merril's dialogue. "I wanted Hawke."

Varric only waved his hand in response, staring at Isabela. Finally, the pirate sighed under his piercing gaze.

"Yeah, you're right. I got Hawke." She looked at her fellow rogue. "But he's just so average!"

"Average? Hawke?" Varric was shocked. "He's the most remarkable man I know. Member of a noble family, Champion of Kirkwall, great dancer..." He recited.

"You don't understand, Tethras. He's average down there."

"Oh." It was the only comment from Varric, but Merrill wasn't so subtle.

"Are we talking about his penis?" She almost shouted, drawing some attention from other patrons.

"Sush!" Isabela was quick to silence the elf. "Yes, we're talking about his penis."

"Well... If it's the only complaint... It's not so bad. You could have scored much, much worse." Varric tried to comfort his Rivaini friend.

"Yeah, I know." Isabela tried to smile but quickly returned to her grumpy state. "But I so love being railed by a big cock!"

"Too much information," Varric murmured, half-unconsciously wondering if his size would she deemed enough.

But the reaction from Merrill was much more interesting. She suddenly straightened, before leaning to Isabela and whispering something to her ear.

"You can do what?" Isabela wasn't sure if she understood correctly, but when the elf repeated, he heard the same thing.

"Really? And will you do that? What do you want in return?"

Merrill yet again whispered something directly to her.

"Deal!" Isabela was eager to agree, a sudden spike of excitement heard in her voice.

Varric didn't hear the thing but also didn't ask. He preferred to not know.

Garrett Hawke wandered through Kirkwall's Hightown in springy steps, enthusiastically answering everyone who greeted him along the way. He completely didn't mind people recognizing him, enjoying his Champion status while he still could.

Hawke and his party returned from the Vimmark Mountains a mere hours ago. Their adventures there were as daring as they could get when the simple infiltration mission turned into fighting for lives not only theirs, but many mostly innocent Qunari agents spread along Thedas as well.

Garret couldn't wait to tell the story to Varric and Isabela. Both rogues were left behind because of the involvement of Tallis, an elfen thief. The woman was the heart of the entire story, but he already decided to leave her mostly off, at least with his beloved. Isabela could be very jealous.

Before that however, he decided to visit the city bath house to get himself nice and clean before meeting with the woman of his life, whom he informed about his return with the messenger. That's why he was now clothed casually, in a brown shirt and matching trousers - his combat suit was sent to his estate by the bath staff.

But when he finally got to the mansion and slipped through the door, he found it unexpectedly quiet. No "welcome, serah", no "enchantment", no ever surprised squeak from Orana. Even his dog didn't bark.

Alarmed, he ventured further into the house but soon sighed in relief. On the top floor, visible from the ground stood Isabela, clothed in her regular, sexy white corset reaching down to her high boots. She however ditched the gloves and armbads, as well as the usual bandana, letting her hair wave loosely.

"Welcome home, beloved." He mocked obedient tone, but the accompanied wink made it clear she only joked. "I trust your adventure was successful."

"Bela!" Hawke exclaimed. In a few quick steps, he got on top of the stairs, when he grabbed his beloved by the waist and lifted her into the air, spinning her around. Next, he kissed her longingly.

"I brought you presents!" He said when their lips parted, lifting his arms at the same time. In one of them was a decorative, yet also deadly dagger, in the other an amulet bearing some pirate marks.

"Dagger of the Four Winds! And Badge of the Felicisima Armada!" Isabela immediately recognized the artifacts, known to pirates all over the Walking Sea. "So nice of you!"

Hawke sent the wide smile her way. "Where's everyone?" He asked.

"I gave them all a day off. Two days, in fact. And asked Aveline to take care of the dog, it seems to like her." Isabela left the gifts on a cabinet nearby. "That way the three of us could have some non-restricted fun!"

"Wait, the three of us?" Hawke didn't know what she meant. "Are you pregnant or something?"

"No, silly!" Isabela cut him off. But instead of answering, she grabbed his hand and pulled him further into an estate, namely to the bedroom.

There, sitting on the king-sized bed with canopies, was Merrill. The elf ditched all armored parts of what she usually wore, leaving her in a green tunic and tight-high boots only. Seeing Hawke, her face turned completely red up to the very tips of her pointy ears, making her black tattoos and green eyes stand out even more than usual.

"Isabela, what is happening?" Hawke's eyes darted between the two women.

"You got me a gift, and I got you one too." The pirate responded. "What do you say to spice our sex life a little? Adding the third one?"

Hawke didn't need to ponder long on the offer. Despite being in love with voluptuous Isabela, he always had a thing for the elven women. There was something in their unique facial features and slender bodies that stirred something deep inside him.

"Beside, sex with two women at once? I would agree to do it even with a dwarf and a qunari!"

Instead of answering, he pulled Isabela into a kiss but was utterly shocked when the pirate put the finger on his mouth, stopping him halfway.

"She goes first. I wanna watch you." She declared (not entirely honest), lightly pushing him toward the bed.

He stood next to it with his knees pushing against the mattress and beckoned the elf with his finger. Merrill obeyed, and crawled toward her friend and leader, unintentionally arousing him by how seductive she looked doing it.

When she was almost on the edge of the bed, she got on her knees and straightened up, getting her head almost on the same level as his. Then, Hawke cupped her face delicately and pulled her for a kiss.

Kissing Merrill was a completely different sensation than kissing Isabela. The pirate was always greedy and passionate, while the mage was extremely gentle, which allowed him to take the lead. Responding to the elf style, Hawke was brushing his lips against her with nothing but grace, not wanting to make her uncomfortable or scared.

Kissing the new set of soft, small lips aroused him much though, and soon he found his hands wandering along her body. Small even for an elf, she felt incredibly fragile in his arms, like the most precious flower, needing to be protected and cherished. "And her skin is softer than any human's I've ever touched!"

The sudden thought made Hawke feel really lewd, and touching Merrill's arms wasn't enough for him anymore. He moved his hands from her exposed skin and cupped her breasts lightly, enjoying how they felt through her green tunic - for such a small frame they were so perky and stood above her chest. He could even swear he felt her nipples standing erect!

Soon Hawke's hands wandered lower and lower, through Merrill's belly and hips until he cupped her ass, yet again enjoying her curves being small, but defined. Feeling more adventurous with every second, Hawke lowered his hands even more and tugged her tunic up before moving his palms back to her cute little butt.

Only to discover that she didn't wear any panties. The sudden feeling of touching her bare body in such an erotic area took over him and he squeezed Merrill's buttcheek harder than he planned.

"Argh!" The sudden grab made the elf gasp, thus breaking their lips-lock. Feeling bold, Hawke utilized it by darting his tongue into Merril's mouth, finding her own, and rolling his appendage against hers.

Despite the shock, Merrill accepted his tongue, mimicking his movement with her own. Soon, the two engaged in full Orlesian made out, fighting with their tongues inside the elf's mouth. She was quite inexperienced and sloppy, but how it was different from Isabela made Hawke aroused even more.

The kiss continued until both gasped for air. Seeing Merrill like that, breathing heavily and with lips slightly bruised from the kiss was a huge thrill for Hawke.

"What do you want to see next?" He asked Isabela, referring to her recent half-lie.

"I don't know about me, but Merrill would surely like to see your dick now." Isabela was following her plan to the brink. "C'mon, show it to her."

When the pirate said that, her thumbs were already hooked under Hawke's trousers waistline, so with one swift motion she pulled them down together with his undergarment. Free from the cloth confinement, his 6 inches-long dick stood up, already hard from kissing Merrill's lips and feeling up her body.

"Oh, it's so big!" Merrill exclaimed, seeing the first dick in her life, which prompted Isabela to roll her eyes over, although no one saw her doing it.

The elf shifted her position lightly, getting on all four to be able to see Hawke's penis from the close distance. Then, her instincts took over and her hand darted forward, desperate to grope his shaft.

What Merrill did next was to close her slender fingers around the shaft, not far from the cock's base. Her hand moved on its own, jerking him off gently until some precum leaked from the tip of his pennis.

"Is this sperm?" Merrill looked at the liquid.

"No, silly, it's just precum," Isabela explained, amused. Had no one had a bees-and-birds conversation with her elven friend? "You can use it to lubricate the shaft, to make your hand move smoother."

Merrill followed her pirate friend's guidance and gathered the liquid, smearing it all over Hawke's shaft, thanks to it jerking him faster and faster with every second, prompting some grunts and pants to escape his mouth. She employed both of her palms to the task right now, always using one for a handjob and the other to not allow any of his precum to go to waste.

Soon though the tip stopped leaking it.

"There's no more of it!" Merrill squealed. "I didn't have enough to wet his... mushroom over here!"

Isabela almost laughed, hearing the word the elf used.

"It's a dickhead or a cockhead, though it indeed looks mushroomy." She explained. "And that's because you should wet it with your mouth."

Merrill didn't hesitate much before leaning in. She darted her tongue and licked all over Hawke's dickhead, prompting the man to groan yet again. She flickered her tongue everywhere around it, wetting it more and more in every second.

"It will be easier if you put it in your mouth." Isabela teased, wanting to see how far the elf would go.

And was quite impressed when Merrill didn't hesitate again. She opened her little mouth wide and swallowed Hawke's cockhead in one swift motion. Feeling an intruder in there, her glands produced much more saliva, and with her tongue, she smeared it all over the sensitive head.

When she finally released it needing some air, Hawke's penis was all drenched, both with his precum and Merrill's saliva. Some strands of the latter connected the tip with the elf's lips briefly before tearing up a second later.

"I think he's ready now," Isabela said, an erotic shiver clearly hearable in her voice. It was supposed to be just business, but she was getting into it. "Lay back." She instructed Merrill with a surprisingly soft tone.

The elf did how she was told, moving up on the bed, with Hawke and Isabela following her. Then, she parted her legs wide and lifted the front of her tunic, showing them her pussy. As the rest of her, her nether lips were less prominent than human's, but they already glistened from her juices. And more of them were leaking between her folds.

Seeing Merrill's pretty, hairless pussy, Hawke immediately got close to her, touching her nether lips with his cock just for her to feel the meaty tip. He slid it along a few times, making her comfortable with another's body part down there, but also prompting her to produce even more juices.

Hawke was patient but Isabela wasn't - she wanted her reward, and for that to happen, the two others had to proceed, so she reached down with both hands. With one of them, she pulled his foreskin down, revealing the reddish head, and quickly wetted it with a mix of precum and saliva covering the rest of his cock. With another, she used two fingers to spread Merrill's folds wide, exposing her pink interior.

"Don't wait any longer, Hawke. Have sex with her." Isabela hurried him.

"But be gentle. I'm a virgin." Merrill stated the obvious.

Hawke didn't need to hear any of this twice. "I'm about to have sex with an elf for the first time in my life!" The thought alone was a huge thrill, but the fact that it was his good friend Merrill made the excitement even bigger. She was cute, adorable, and petite - everything he liked about her race.

So he needed to fight himself to not plunge into her right away. Instead, as asked he did it gently, pushing his cock at an almost painfully slow pace. Thanks to Isabela holding Merrill open, he didn't need to push on her lips, and his cockhead fit in quite easily.

But right when only his tip was in, he felt something blocking his way in. Merrill's hymen, without a doubt.

"I'm gonna push a little harder now, OK?" He said softly, gently caressing Merril's cheek. "It may hurt a little, but don't worry, it's normal. If it'd too much though, tell me right away."

The words and the soft tone he spoke them with melted Isabela's heart. She briefly regretted losing her virginity to some random dude rather than a man like her current beloved.

Merrill nodded slightly, so Hawke proceeded. He leaned over her, placing his hands on her sides, and pushed firmly in. After two seconds he felt looseness and saw a brief grin of pain on the elf's face. He immediately stopped before sinking any more dick into her.

"Everything's ok?" He asked.

"Yeah, just give me a moment," Merril answered. A minute passed before she spoke again. "Please continue."

Still more delicate than ever, Hawke pushed some more dick into her, stopping when half of his penis was sheathed inside. Then, he retracted all but his head, and slowly plunged into her again. He repeated the movement a few times but stopped hearing Merrill's growl.

This tactic wasn't comfortable for the elf. The flesh around her just-broken hymen was still sensitive, and his thicker head pushed against it too much, unlike his slightly narrowed shaft.

"Go deeper and don't retract so much," Merrill asked her lover and Hawke obeyed. The next time he moved forward, he pushed his whole dick inside, not only half of it. Feeling his head hitting a deep part of her pussy felt great for both of them, and they moaned lewdly when it happened - for the elf, it was the first time since they started.

Hawke resumed his slow movement, but this time he kept half of his dick inside all the time, retracting the other half and in return pushing his whole cock into Merrill's tight interior. With every move, his narrower shaft lightly massaged her vulnerable flesh just behind the opening, an unpleasurable sensation muffled by how heavenly the rest of his cock felt in the deeper part of her pussy.

Soon, Merrill's uncomfortable sensitivity faded completely, replaced only with pleasure.

"Faster." She panted, words having a problem to break through her more and more frequent moans. "Harder."

Hawke obeyed, slightly shifting his position over her and plunging into her with more force and speed than before, his penis hugged lightly by her wet walls. His next move was even more feral, earning another moan from Merrill to which he reacted by mashing their lips together in another, more passionate kiss.

Soon Hawke achieved a fast pace, slamming the totality of his dick into Merrill's velvety interior with almost the same force he'd fuck Isabela. Gone was also the shy Merrill, who even responded with the hip rolls on her own, moaning shamelessly when her walls hugged the welcomed invader more and more with every movement.

"Oh, so good, so good." Merrill whimpered. 6 inches of cock, which Isabela disdainfully deemed average a few days ago was enough for the elf to feel just wondrously.

However several moves later she felt even better. Something was inside her pussy, settled in her walls, roaring to be released.

"I feel... weird." The elf said loud enough for Hawke to slow down a bit. "In my pussy!"

Isabela was the one to answer her. "It's an orgasm. Don't fight it. Let it wash all over you."

Hearing that increased Hawke's arousal to new heights. "I'm about to make her cum!" Once again he shifted his position to slide his dick mostly along the front walls of Merrill's pussy, stimulating her g-spot with his shaft while his head was sheathed deeper inside the elf's hot interior.

The situation was extremely erotic to Hawke and a mere second later he felt his cock hot and twitching - his orgasm near as well.

Seeing how her boyfriend nearly reached his limit, Isabela decided to dive into action. She briefly licked her fingers and reached between her beloved and the girl he was currently fucking and found her clitoris.

A few skillful, rapid finger-flings over Merrill's clit was all the mage needed to cum. Her legs and arms darted forward and next tightened around Hawke, keeping him close when the bashful of colors splattered before her eyes. The 'thing' she felt in her pussy spilled out into her entire body, bathing the totality of her being in nothing but pleasure.