All Comments on 'When We Were Married Ch. 03C'

The writing is good as usual, the scenes are interesting, but the main reason I am continuing to read is because the author is DQS and I expect good things from him going forward. The current chapter is good and interesting, but not interesting enough to keep me reading on its own -- too slow paced and not enough development. In every great story I have read, there is an interesting development, or something goes wrong by the end of each chapter. Although the current chapter was interesting, what changed? Has Bill learned more about himself? We have hints at the end of the chapter that, in the next chapter, Bill's character may develop. I am looking forward to the next chapter, hoping for more....

The character development is wonderful. Well done. I do not care how many chapters you write, I'm here for the long or short haul.

for the waning interest is the time between sections of the story. People loose interest easily when waiting.

I think your story is developing very well. I check each week to see if another chapter has been added. William's story line is very real to me.

Le Roi est mort. Vive le Roi! <P>

No I’m not fickle it’s been a long time since 2007, sorry Gary. I guess it’s time to move on. I have even updated my profile, no not the pic. That’s still seven or eight years old. I hardly look like that that anymore. I’ve gotten a lot hotter, but I don’t want any of you guys to know what I really look like. LOL <p>

This has been a fantastic day. The WWWM posting, the Tour De France on TV, unfortunately I had to interrupt both to get in a forty mile bike ride. I’m glad to see Bill is finding out exercise is addictive. <P>

This was a fantastic chapter, Bill is coming around. Years of low self esteem do not go away in a matter of months. Debbie is also feeling some hurt. A lot of you feel the story is moving too slowly. Hey, that’s the nature of the beast, change takes time. <P>

You know I had my concerns about you breaking down the fourth wall. I can sense you’re feeling what I feared might happen. The feedback becomes more important than it should be. You get feedback from what; 10% of your readers at most? Write what you feel and when you feel. <P>

Jen

This story is heavy on character development at the expense of story progression. That isn't necessarily a bad thing since most stories on Literotica have almost no character development.

Having Bill hook up with and fuck a married woman will destroy the foundation that Bill's character has been built on. I really hope things don't go that way.

This chapter seems like its introducing new people that may end up being the focal points of new stories down the road.

I don't think we are going to see the lounge in the next chapter but a chapter about Debbie or maybe something from the kid's perspective.

Bill needs to put his secretary in her place. She is having conversations with his soon to be ex-wife about him and then she lets the woman into the office. It seems like too many people are pulling Bill's strings while he's at a low point especially Bill's boss. I'm hoping this cruise wakes Bill up and he decides to head for private practice, maybe taking Myra with him.

I hope Bill sees Aline for what she is...another Debbie. I also hopes he sees the married couple where the wife loves the husband and the husband is only with her for the money as a mirror of his own marriage. Bill thought that if he worked hard enough, provided enough material things and prestige he would be worthy of Debbie. It not much different from what the wife thinks and Bill sees that it won't work but tries to make the woman feel better.

I'd like to see Bill become "friends" with Aline(just without benefits) and learn from her perspective on things...maybe have her find Bill an acceptable piece of ass on the ship from some of the single/divorced passengers and getting Bill to see how much he has changed physically.

If Bill is so worried about not being able to get a hard on then maybe he should try testing the waters with a paid escort. Who cares if you can't get it up for a whore that you don't know and won't ever see again.

I'm not losing interest in the story but I am impatient. I really want something good to happen for Bill and something bad to happen to Debbie and Doug.

I think the "Angel of Death" label would be a great thing for Bill if he went into private practice.

So this is what it felt like back then, waiting for a new instalment in a Dickens book! Last week I made myself promise to wait a month and read in bulk… so much for that. Keep up the good work, mate. I’ll be in for the long haul. Cheers, AngeloM

Debbie decides she needs to come to Bill's rescue. Wrong!! She gets shut down quickly, and this time she may come to realize that Bill is indeed moving on. As Bill says, she need not worry about him anymore. This realization is a real slap in her face, as she is told in no uncertain terms that she no longer is in any way in control of his life. Her reaction to try to slap him silly and Bill's ease at stopping her, along with his vehemence in telling her that he really is close to physically hurting her. is the final wake up call to Debbie that she has completely destroyed her marriage and there is no going back. He will deal with her when it comes to the kids, but he does not appreciate her attempts at empathy or other intrusions into his life. Her tormenting has to come to a stop and she has to realize that this marriage is most definitely over!! Bill is merely dealing with his feelings over the loss of his marriage and understands that as time passes, his hurt is waning. Debbie's comment, when leaving, about his new look and attitude is significant in that she is seeing that her approach to him in the past was wrong and that he would have changed some of his habits if she knew him well enough to take the right tact, but it was all about Debbie.

As the cruise unfolds, Bill is finally seeing that he has worth in many people's eyes. He is at a nexus in his realization that his social self-esteem in way too low. Aline is an interesting twist because of her potential interest in Bill as a friend, and possibly with benefits. Speculating about the next chapter in the Alpha Lounge, I would look for Bill to look for a little analysis of what Aline may be feeling as a way to understand some of what Debbie's actions were over the last ten years. If Aline could be this source of revelation, then it may be possible for Bill to start healing much more quickly.

I am captivated by the signals being sent out by Myra. She has been in a position to watch him, both professionally and personally, for the last five years. Some would say that she has a job to do, raising Bill's ego. I believe that Myra is one of those women who is looked upon as unreachable and as such is never asked seriously out on a date. This may be the reason she has been having an affair. and her freudian slip definitely indicates she has been having one. She knows there is no future in her status as concubine and longs for a regular relationship with someone she knows has all the attributes she is looking for. It doesn't hurt that Bill is actually turning into a bit of a hunk, also. Myra has been where Debbie wants to be and finds her life lacking. She would love to have what Debbie has given up.

It will take a few more months, but from Bill's reaction to Debbie's slap and Myra's button, I would say that Doug will have quite a rematch. It will come, because of Kelly, the newer version of Debbie. Bill will protect his children when given a chance with a killer's instinct and a badger's determination. When that happens, there will be a stark contrast and an epiphany by both Doug and Debbie that there is a real difference between games and reality. I dare say that this will be Debbie's humiliation and Bill's catharsis.

As my mind wanders with speculation, I most certainly look forward to the next installment, no matter when it is posted.

Please continue with your vision. Your writing is wonderful, I look for each new chapter. I'm still intrigued and wondering, you've played it close enough to the vest that I have no idea what is going to happen next, but I'm hooked on Bill and Debbie. Thanks for sharing this.

its only been a few months. While one can fault Bill for NOT being more aware of his marriage and being married to the Job first... he had NO idea what was happening and what was going to happen.

Debbie Did. Debbie wanted something else-- DOUG-- and worked hard to get.

4 or 5 months later Bill still has NO idea what he want.

His Hurt and pain are ruining Him. It is stopping him from working like he use to... it is stopping him from Thinking .... it is stopping him from figuring out what is NEXT.

For MORONS like size14sho3 and Rob Conner to cite Bill's nasty disposition of the past few Months.... ALL CAUSED BY WHAT DEBBIE DID and SAID... is to show a level of being obtuse that I did not any human could acjieve.

Congratulations Dummies... you have the same insight as a bowl of tupperwar...

Bill is getting Fucked over by His BOSS now? Ok this is going into the absurd.

Look Bill's Boss applying pressure on Bill to get him to take a vacation is One thing... and given what has happened ...probably justifiable.

But having Bill's boss is use his power / influence to get the cruise line members to WATCH him... then LIE about when asked ??? this is totally Unbelieveable

SECOND.... the entire chapter is replete with constant statements made by Bill about how HE views himself. The chapter opens with Bill telling Debbie that their marriage was a mistake and based on hero worship.

whether that is True or not... Bill right now BELIEVES that.

there are numerous references made by Bill ... both in his Mid and expressed verbally about How Debbie was out his league.... about how he Views HIMSELF... short bald pudgy and middle age.

Bill is clearly is NO mental shape to talk to anyone.

Now bill is going to chase after the french cruise line woman... who is super hot... after saying that she like debbie was way out of His league?

absurd..... even worse

Bill tells the french bitch she is no good lying cunt... and the french woman gets upset....

this is getting silly...

From the comments section many people feel that Bill might do better going back into private practice. This might be so and would agree with Debbie's assessment saying she was happy with their marriage during the first 10 years of married life when Bill was in private practice. However, it is stated in the story that Edwards' dream is to become governor, and then later even possibly president. If Edwards does ran for governor, it was their agreement that Bill would take over the attorney general's office. So possibly Bill will remain a public figure.

I don't know why reader interest has "waned," but I am enjoying the complex texture of the story. I hope to read much more.

For what it is worth, I don't want to dictate or even influence where you are going with this. I just want to read & enjoy!!!!!

....Other than opinionated people of limited intellectual resources (Note to Andy Hardy) human beings tend to be conflicted about all important issues, even through old age. And most thinking people have epiphanies throughout their life. And middle-age is probably (for most "normals")-the time of life when they are most conflicted. Nothing Bill has said or done violates this tenet. If these two people didn't do stupid people tricks we'd have no story. Obviously the author feels that Bill can both PROTECT his sense of self worth by "trying out" a certain reflective attitude,and at the same time, (PERHAPS in direct contradistinction), protect his ego (not the same thing duh) by adopting another attitude. I know I have waffled all my life between blaming myself totally, the woman totally or both of us to some extent for the dissolution of my first long-term relationship. I was sometimes able to throw the moves at other poison bitches despite varying degrees of sundry uncertainties. Explain better if you really see an insurmountable inconsistency here. For chrissakes, it's the end of our booze saturated celebration of America's self infatuation, no good patriot is sober now. DQS, the fucking reason your comments are down might be summer?????

Interesting chapter!

Why did his "almost ex" come to his office? This wasn't explained, or her real reason for being there. I found it kind of odd for her to do this.

As for the cruize where is this headed? And what is the point. He won't hook up with anyone. He has been damaged good and it is still to soon and the pain to fresh.

I guess the next chapter will explain it.

I am still intrigued by the character development and this story's conclusion.

Thanks for writing!

I love it. If it was a novel I would read it in one night but I love the installments. Keep going

it says something, yes. <p>

(1) DanielQSteele1 is really exceptional, as a writer; <p>

or <p>

(2) There are so few good writers on Lit, when serious/addicted readers stumbles upon one, they latch on like extremely poor children in a candy store for the first time; <p>

or <p>

(3) A combination of both of those. <p>

Personally I have come across a few writers here over the year who're much better when it comes to writing, plotting, characterization, and originality. Unfortunately, as any serious writer knows, producing stories is a HARD, LONG, ARDUOUS, and TEDIOUS work.... And this is true whether you're writing a professional column for the local news paper, a story, or a book. <p>

So, just on those points alone, the author of THIS STORY, DanielQSteele1 deserves a lot of respect. While I agree her writing IS every good, it is NOT the best I have seen here on Literotica, as I said. There's been a few over the last 2-3 years who, when they first showed up, garnered a lot of reader comments, too. And they were good writers; but the topic and the format and the stories were IDENTICAL. One has the annoying of starting like Andy Rooney every story, whether in Incest, in Novella, in LW, in BDSM, in Gay... "Did you know that.....?" And I meant EVERY STORY started out like that. <p>

Anyway, again, high number of reader comments doesn't necessarily mean the writing or stories are exceptional. It could be, and I think it is, a combination of factors as I suggested above. And while I DO appreciate the TIME DanielQSteele1 has invested in this story --- PURELY OUT OF HER GOOD HEART TO ENTERTAIN A TOTALLY jaded, hardnosed, minimally unappreciative audience --- I also have to be honest, in my own assessment, by saying THIS story is rather mediocre/average. Only the LENGTH is ranked as one of the most ambitiously longest; the quality in terms of unique/subtle/interesting characterization, plot, thematic aesthecism, metaphorical and foreshadowing devices, etc.... for a story of this length and ambition, it is BELOW average. <p>

Fortunately for the author, my "average" is not with respect to Literotica's average... it is with respect to my GENERAL READING average... from Nicholas Sparks, to Vladimir Nabokov, to Gustave Floubert, et al who wrote in this similar genre of family/sexual narcissism and the consequences involved in the devastation of characters in the stories... <p>

So I guess in this manner of speaking.... this is more of an unrequested praise than a typical, unsolicited, and uncalled for criticism I usually dish out on long stories I invested time in... but which I found no likeable or interesting characters... with the reading being on on a sheer, lazy momentum driven, not because I think the author/story has provided me with a terrific "hero" or a terrific "bad guy" I am rooting for to "succeed"...

I remember anticipating the next segment in the stories I used to read in The Saturday Evening Post and Colliers ( I'm probably giving away my age here), and savoring the satisfaction they gave me. I always hated to see those stories end. Your efforts here are affecting me the same way.

I look forward to each new chapter, and so far I have not been disappointed. I haven't commented before, although I have voted. That's just me.

It's a shame that our world has become one of instant gratification. It's nice to enjoy an extended bit of pleasure for a change. Good tale so far. Thanks. Paul

I was happy to see a new chapter pop up. I'm very curious to see where you are going with the story. Please keep the chapters coming. Thanks!

I will admit that I like a happy ending so I'm hoping he eventually gets back with his wife.

-- Jim

I think they may be a lot of interest, just not as many comments. It would be a shame to quit in the middle. Wait til the end for the comments

About a lack of comments! They just keep coming.<p><br>

Bill is certainly becoming a cynic, but his instincts still work (re: hairs on his neck). There are still a couple of possibilities in this trip -- for example: just because a good looking female employee on the ship wears a wedding ring and tells people she's married doesn't mean she really is. I'll bet lots of women in that position do that as a defensive measure against amorous clients. And it would be fun if Bill were to return from the voyage with the young (and seemingly wealthy) young blond pursuing him...<p><br>

I thought the most interesting thing that Bill told Debbie in their conversation was that he had been waiting for her to leave him the entire time that they were together, and that he never believed that she truly loved him. Something for her to reflect on in future chapters -- she may begin to understand the fears that he felt that caused him to choose job over her, and how her behavior over the years might have added to those fears.<p><br>

DQS1 - great job, and stand in awe at the speed with which you are putting these chapters out!!

118 comments in one day is up from 47, first day on last chapter....keep it up.

x

Thanks to the comments on the chapters of this story I've found some new stuff to read. People keep saying DanielQSteel is a good or great author in the Literotica pool. Would anyone care to offer suggestions of stories or authors that they feel are as good or better than this one to the impatient folks so they have something else to read between chapters? Thanks!

To be honest. yawns ()

I do watch for your postings, and I am enjoying this particular story. Your rather irregular contributions may be part of it. I suspect, however, that the bridge-burning Bill has been doing has put some people off, especially when he has not replaced Debbie yet. Another point, which seems trivial, is the odd way you number your chapter! We are at 3C, for god sake!. It's annoying.

damn boring, either stop or finish it, or it will eventually turn out to be mess of a story.

what if the ship never returns? Maybe this will be a 21st century take on The Flying Dutchman, only in this case it's a super hot French woman looking for...no, not the French woman...no it's a wife waiting for her wayward husband...no, it's a "Sex and the Shippy" a bunch of divorced women search for middle aged...no, it's...it's...it's.

Fuck if I know; but I'm still reading the damn thing.

Not too much happens in this chapter again. Bill confronts Debbie and repeats (how many tomes is this now?) the realities of his marriage. There is nothing new in the exchange and until she tries to slap him it seems passionless. He is expressing things that mean a LOT in a very bland manner. Yeah, he's a bit harsh but so what. Then he goes on a cruise that he's forced to go on. He is in poor spirits, surprise, surprise. His boss is spying on him and sets up the crew to watch him. They LIE to him about it. Why would he be appreciative about being manipulated? Aline tries to act as if she is interested in him but essentially she is being PAID to babysit him. WOW that would give me confidence in my male attractiveness - NOT! OK, he crossed the line a bit by accusing her of planning to take him to bed but HE was provoked and frankly it's not that big of a leap, just crude to actually say it. On the other hand he SHOWED he could be nice, even compassionate by escorting Cyndi around. If people treat him honestly he responds in kind. Anyway, none of this moves the story forward that much. Chapter after chapter of him feeling miserable isn't interesting reading (although I'll readily admit it is true to life). I still don't have a clue where this story is going. The writing from a technical aspect is good. I'm hoping the ending will make the journey worthwhile but it's starting to build up quite a toll to be paid.

I've been to Nassau many times and been to the straw market, sorry to hear that it burnt down.

As far as the rest of the chapter, I think that there maybe something to this cruise that might be good for Bill.

I'll be waiting for the next chapter. Thanks

the mix of reactions and comments is almost as interesting as reading the story. It just proves that you bring a superb story here. As for waning... don't see that's the case. BUT. As interesting and needed that character development is to give substance to a story, it slows down the pace. If those "sidelines" are dragged out too much, interest may fade a bit, especially when we have to wait a week for the next chapter. You seem able though to keep it going. I too just wish you could post sooner. *** As for the characters, I like Bill the most. He has his flaws, worked too much but he still longed to come home, wanted to be with his family. She and the children apparently too, abandoned the family some time ago. Let's see where this all goes. Keep up the good work please.

The irony is that the slut soon-to-be ex wife & doomed Bill knew that this fucked up marriage should not have ever happened. Once a slut & cheater, always a slut & cheater.

From chap 03b - quoting the slut wife;

"You...everyone else...you keep saying I should have done this and I should have done that...well what about Bill. What about that sorry bastard, that miserable excuse for a human being, a guy I never should have married. That miserable, fat bald piece of shit. If I had known 20 years ago what I know now..."

From chap 03c from the Angle of Death;

"Now you begin the life you should have had all along, Deb. Before you made the mistake of letting hero worship blind you. If it wasn't for BJ and Kelly, I would rather have never met you and you would have had the life you wanted. Money and power and big dicks and not being saddled with a short fat loser."

She looked at me as if I were speaking in a foreign language.

"If it makes you feel any better, helps with the guilt, I've been waiting for this for 20 years, I wasn't surprised by Doug. I'm even relieved in a way. Now you won't have to go on pretending you ever loved me."

Enough complaining that interest in the story is waning. This has to be one of the most commented on stories in Literotica history, so please no need to make more comments like that. Some chapters just merit more comment than others.

I liked this chapter. Interesting developments, and it really made one feel like one was on a cruise ship. I feel sad for the people too impatient to read through this - I guess a lot of people are no longer capable of reading something book length unless maybe it has lots of deaths and explosions, and that's sad.

However, I'm concerned at how Debbie is being portrayed. Whether they ultimately get back together or not, the story is more interesting if there's at least a good chance of that happening, and right now there isn't. Frankly, she seems very ill suited for him. Attractive, yes, and they had kids together, yes, but that's not enough. Frankly, it doesn't seem like she really loves him, or would be good for him. She seems selfish, slutty, and not to be trusted or respected. If she's coming around to him at all lately, it seems mostly because he's been exercising and losing weight. In other words, she's more interested in the outside than the inside. Why does he love her so much? What makes her special, other than superficial things? Why is this the person he'd want to be 90 years old with? I don't see it at all, so the story lack the tension and excitement (will they or won't they get back together?) that it should have. We either need to see more of her good side, or have her go through a dramatic personality transformation, or both.

This chapter didn't help. On the surface, her coming to his office to see if he was okay seemed like a loving and thoughtful thing to do. But in this case it wasn't. It was selfish, just like everything else she's done. Given their total inability to communicate amicably recently, what did she think would happen? That they'd have a nice chat and a hug? Or that they'd argue, reopen not so old wounds, and his terrible day would be made an even worse day? It was inevitable the latter would happen. She must have known it on some level because she knew he wouldn't even take her phone calls. It looks like she went there for herself because she was curious (yes, and concerned), but without any thought as to how her visit would emotionally effect him. If she'd really be caring and considerate, she'd have sent a mutual friend with a thoughtful gift or something like that.

So Debbie comes off as a less and less sympathetic person with each new chapter, making the main tension in the story slowly fall apart. Please fix!

.... I'm not sure I have the patience for a 30+ episode epic, especially at the pace these chapters are appearing. Despite Daniel's clever numbering system, this is Chapter 8 and we still aren't seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Okay, I get it; Bill is a bitter, angry man. He's taking his frustrations out on anyone and everyone around him. Can we move on, please? Can HE move on, please?

Cyndi is Cyndi Carter from — The Last Goodbye. Her husband’s name is also Andy, and she was a divorcee in that story. It takes place in 2009, right? And WWWM is in 2005 so it’s clear that Cyndi and Andy will get Divorce. I’m really enjoying this interrelation in stories.

Hmm…So we have a mystery woman — Ms. Aline des-Jardins, who’s in an “unreachable” league. A woman with a wedding band in her finger — yet we don’t know if she’s really married or she’s wearing it to keep away the “Romeos”. She’ll definitely play a role in lifting Bill’s spirits. Bill should get over his “past” image — he believes; he’s still that short, pudgy person. But his new image is getting some attention (From a lot of women) he should cut loose, and go with the flow. With introduction of Aline des-Jardins it’s become more interesting.

A lot has been already pointed out and said, so I’ll just say that I’m desperately waiting for the next chapter.

~Kelly~

I do want to say that while I think you deserve all the praise you have received as a writer, in addition we have also put our trust in you. We have spent our time reading and discussing your story because we trust that you will handle your characters as well as us readers with respect. You decided to write the story in this serialized fashion. You made a promise early on that if we stuck with you you would tell us this story. We are all in the middle of it together. We care about these characters. We don't expect anything less than your best effort to finish it. If you are bogged down in life or with writers block, well that's life. But I don't think it would be respectful of the trust that up to now you have more than earned for you to suddenly leave this project to work on other writing projects without a reasonable explanation.

First off, what is Cheryl, Bill's secretary doing? Does she even understand when Bill says "Don't tell my wife."? In Chapter 2D Debbie calls Cheryl and wants to talk to Bill. Debbie SAYS she doesn't want Cheryl to be disloyal to Bill, but at the same time demands to know where Bill is. And Cheryl ANSWERS. Where he lives, where he hangs out, WHO he hangs out with, and at what time. She couldn't have been MORE disloyal.

Then Debbie asks who Bill is seeing, and frankly she does NOT have the right to ask that. She's given him up, cheated on him in the worst way. And Cheryl STILL answers! About Jessica Stephens going out with Bill, about Myra asking about Bill's divorce, everything. Cheryl's the gossip queen when it comes to Bill.

In this chapter Debbie can waltz right into Bill's office, without Cheryl letting Bill know, despite that EVERYBODY knows Bill can't stand to see Debbie. Why doesn't Bill fire her? She's obviously not doing her job. I can see her blabbing company and client secrets to whomever wants to listen.

And why does she do all that? Because Bill's being an asshole to everybody? Because he's an asshole to her? Some kind of revenge? She KNOWS why, she knows all the reasons. And Debbie herself is one of, if not THE biggest reason.

Not a suggestion to the author (more wishful thinking, really), I'd like for Bill to sit her down, and ask her why she told Debbie his whereabouts, who he's seeing, and why Cheryl didn't stop Debbie or inform Bill about Debbie going into his office. I'd like to see her explain.

If something as clear-cut and simple as a divorce and not wanting to see the wife still makes Cheryl think that Debbie can do anything with Bill, then Cheryl can not be trusted with something far more nebulous like client or company secrets. She could be fired for incompetence.

The entire exchange between Bill and Debbie again highlights how selfish and selfcentered Debbie still is. From that entire conversation, all I get is that Debbie still thinks she has a right to invade into Bill's life.

Bill was not the one who killed their marriage, Debbie was. Remember, she had always let other guys rub their dicks on her, and fondle her ass and breasts. From Bill's POV, their marriage was never alive, with the way Debbie behaved.

Debbie even has the gall to tell Bill that if Bill had never read those emails, she would've divorced him, and gotten off scotfree with her cheating. THAT's what she regrets. Worse, Bill might even still be friends with her. She really WOULD have played him for a fool...

A quote from Debbie: "Our marriage is shot. You killed it and I buried it. But don't you tell me that I never loved you. Don't tell me those first few years were a lie. Because I know damn well what I felt back then. I did love you."

Debbie's definition of love is very different from Bill's. By her own admittance in earlier chapters, she's ALWAYS let other guys feel her up. Not exactly something a wife who supposedly loves her husband, would do. No, Bill was Debbie's mealticket. Have food and a roof over her head and security with Bill, and wild nights out, teasing other men, when it suited her. That's what she had always done. She killed the marriage, not Bill.

On to the cruise ship. Deception and manipulation abound! Like others have mentioned before, Aline was PAID to BABYSIT Bill, and LIES about it. A good way to start a friendship, don't you think? The Purser lies about it, and insults Bill in the process.

Bill will always think that Aline's accompanying him because she's paid to do it, rather than out of friendship, no matter what she says. And when he calls her out on it, she is insulted? Bill cannot accept feelings from another human being? Her "feelings", her friendship, as they were, are "I'm being paid to babysit you so you won't kill yourself". Very positive, isn't it? Lies and deception are a good basis for friendship.

Get over yourself, Aline. Just because the adult person you were paid to babysit figured you out and called you out on it, and wasn't swayed by your pretty face, doesn't mean you can go sulk.

So, in short: Bill's boss forces him to go on the cruise, Debbie still thinks she can control Bill's life, Cheryl blabs to everybody about stuff Bill does not want people to know, the Purser on the cruise lies to and insults Bill, Aline is paid to babysit him and lies about it, but hey, Bill should cheer up, right?

As for people saying interest is waning...Posting that as the VERY FIRST TWO comments right after this chapter has been posted, isn't that a bit premature? Especially with 100+ comments AFTER? I may not comment much anymore, but I sure as hell keep a lookout for new chapters.

Do continue.

I am enjoying your story. Please keep writing.

One of the best editors of top selling authors, Renni Browne, stated that the best fiction does not have real life dialogue or detailed narrative of real life situations, the dialogue and narrative is crafted to seem real, and crafted so the story moves and develops, chapter by chapter. This story is well written at a sentence level, but the story is slooooooowing doowwwwn, and overall, compared to published novels this is average. It tries to say too much. Bill's problems are repeated and repeated and repeated and.... I am still reading because it is interesting and DQS should give us a good ending, but the difference between this and professional fiction is the pace, and the weirdness of several scenes as pointed out by Harry.

Bill will most likely always remain secure. He'll stay at the courthouse as a State Assistant Attorney, or go into a private practice in jax: he may become for a period of years the State Attorney General (recall that he and Edwards have an agreement that if Austin Edwards decides to run for governor Bill will take over as the state's attorney general. He has become rather handsome and may have Aline, Myra, and Jessica Stephens to wine and dine. He'll be fine.

On the other hand, Debbie seems not to be planning for her future. She is an Assistant Professor of Business Administration at the UNF, and from what data DQS provides readers she teaches classes (lectures and directs discussion groups) and conducts some research in her area of expertise, business management. According to Doug, she could get a job in town in business management. Debbie fears that she may loss her faculty position, or at best remain an assistant professor for the remainder of her employment with UNF: this based upon that night when she and her men-tee, Dr. Doug Baker, had their kissing session at a faculty awards dinner in front of some thousand spectators. Debbie needs to get her act together. Soon her daughter and son will have left home for college and afterwords the rest of their lives.

I don't see Debbie losing her job over the extracurricular activities on awards night. There was no behavior displayed that would warrant a dismissal. There was no sex, just some kissing with nobody except Bill being offended. Anybody, UNF is a public state university which means that its President, Mr. Myers, cannot act unilaterally and dismiss her (or Doug). President Myers could prefer the matter to the academic senate at UNF and a committee of Debbie's peers will meet to consider the case. I would not expect any action beyond a warning of behavior unbecoming of a faculty member in public. That such behavior would not be tolerated in the future.

But Debbie's big problem is what's going to happen to her 30 or 40 years down the road when she's 60 or 70. Certainly much of her physical beauty

will fade, her waist may go from its current 28 into a 30's, her posture will not be as it now is, and arthritis will take its toll, and there will be unexpected health problems. Why is she divorcing Bill when her changes of a good life after 60 will greatly diminish without Bill. She will soon be losing the best thing in her life and she doesn't have a plan for her future. She's now going through life blindly thinking a lot about sex, her physical appearance, and the handsome tall and slender men who have wanted her in the past. I haven't noted any reference to Debbie's seeking help from a psychologist in the story; she really needs guidance or Cathy and Roy (Debbie's parents) may be getting a second daughter with behavioral problems: i.e., just like her sister Clarice).

I love your realistic story lines.

I love that your characters have realistic emotions, and sometimes do stupid things, because thats what people - especially depressed people - sometimes do.

I love that your characters can have self-doubt, and sometimes not be able to rationalise their own actions.

I love that you have the confidence to write a virtually sex-free installment on a sex story site, because you know that eventually the sex will have more impact because its happening to a realalisic, multi-faceted character that us readers have come to know.

To the commenters who are making demands about schedules, updates and direction of the story line. Sorry?!!! Get real. If you want to control the pace and direction of a story, write your own and post it here, or pay a professional author to write you a story to order.

We're getting quality writing for free here, and all some ingrates can do is whine. Get some perspective!

great work! please take as long as you need to finish your story.

If DQS1 is trying to soften Debbie-it does not seem to be working. Debbie keeps coming across more and more unlikeable. Bills comment about Debbie pretended loving him really hit the mark-hence Debbie’s reaction and rabid defense. Debbie LOVED what Bill had done in the frat house years ago. Debbie no doubt felt gratitude, safe and secure with Bill –but never love. (Joseph Stalin said “Gratitude is a sickness suffered by dogs”). I love how DQS1 in this chapter has Debbie blame the Emails-but not the fact that she (Debbie) WROTE the emails. As if the Emails were an organism with a life of their own. Debbie’s comments about Bill killing the marriage & her (Debbie) burying it + Bill losing weight, going on vacation and looking good now-show Debbie trying to rationalize her behavior and shift blame onto anyone but herself..

Enjoyed the first part of this chapter, but Bill time n the ship dragged a bit. I understand you are setting up Bill. However I did miss the normal segment dose of Debbie's POV and thought process she goes thru to reach her excuses and conclusions. Those segments are the real spice of your stories.

Quick correction for future-Cruise ships are not permitted to have their Casinos & shops open while the ship is in Port. The Port country allows the Cruise ship to dock so all the passengers can get off and unload their money. Port countries do not allow the ships to be competition. The shops and casino reopen when the ship reaches international waters

Thanks for the read

I just picked up on Cyndi Matthews from your story THE LAST GOODBYE". Well played to get Cyndi character into this story.

...from some of my previous comments, I agree with Harry on this one.

That was a reasoned, polite and thorough description of the scenario.

I have never disagreed with Harry's opinions, just his presentation, but that was good.

...I loved your last story. As you are excoriating DQS1 for not proceeding fast enough, where's YOUR next story? I appreciate the hell out of you too.

Sorry DQS1 for including this in your review board but Rehnquist (as I'm sure you know) has no small amount of talent himself.

{Partly lol!}

Best wishes both.

...about Cyndi. DQS1 announced his intention to weave his stories together, to make it an all-encompassing story. I missed it but I'm so glad you picked up on it. DQS1 I'm really intrigued by this little, almost inconsequential, titbit. Please continue your story at your own pace.

Your non-sycophantic, non-obsequious fan.

By the way I hate you.

Just thought you'd like to clear the fences and I didn't even say LOL.

...is bloody amazing. Your skill is bringing things together.

Very well done.

I don't usually comment about other authors works, but in this case I make the rare exception.

This is an excellent effort! Well developed charcters, tight prose, always leaving the reader dangling about what will happen next.

Keep up the good work. And believe me, I now it is work.

Doc

Good effort. We learn more about Bill's character and his insecurities, but nothing new about Debbie because there is nothing more to her. She is a one trick pony with no depth. Her conversation with Bill at the beginning tels us everything we need to know about her. She waltzes into his office to ease her own conscience (under the pretense of concern for Bill) but the conversation ends up being all about her sexual needs and the size of Doug's dick. Whether or not her anger is behind this is immaterial...this woman has the emotional maturity of a thirteen year old girl.

Bill shows character and the depth of his hurt when he turns down an easy romp with the divorcee, and also his compassion when he consols the young Cyndi. He's been there and empathises with her pain. As for Aline, yes, he is falling into his own trap again, going for someone he feels is out of his league, but he honestly doesn't think he can have her. It is one thing to be searching for attractive company and another to think it will progress further than that. While she wears a weddding band, it may be a smoke screen as a number have commented. I would like to think that Bill has enough morals in him to avoid becoming a 'Doug', if indeed she is married.

Bill has built a wall around him, and I feel that is normal for someone who has had their life ripped apart. While some find solace in banging as many women as possible, some of us are so deeply hurt that we do our best to keep that pain from reoccurring. I went though a long period after my split where nothing worked down below, but it took a woman who I deeply cared for and who made me realise that she felt the same way to get things straight between us. It wasn't an overnight success and took a lot of patience on both our parts, but I totally understand Bill's reluctance and fears about putting himself out there and not being able to perform.

I look forward to coming installments. Funny, since I usually avoid these serialized stories. Personally, I'd like to see Bill keep his moral compass and happiness, but I don't want him to achieve that with Debbie. A woman that shallow and narcistic deserves a relationship as deep as she herself is.

Kelly girl, you’re amazing, the Cyndi thing went right over my head. <P>

Q said this chapter was starting a new strand. Aline is the only new character of any consequence. So I must assume Bill is going to develop a relation of some sorts with her. Hmm, this is beginning to sound a little like “The Last Goodbye”. Will a life threatening event bring Bill and Deb back together again? <P>

I’m having a great time speculating where all this is going.

CQS is a superb writer of short stories; this may even turn into a long story, much as the author has implied. CQS has his north Florida where he's an expert; John O'Hara had Pennsylvania as the location for his stories where, in the first half of the 20th century, he was an histological expert.

I think at this point in our story that Debbie has second thoughts about the divorce. Bill was her knight in shining armor back at college. Her hero! She loved him (and was IN love with him), when they married and for 10 years thereafter. They have two teenage kids (Kelly and BJ) and Bill's a super bread winner. And now (July 12th 2005), he's even passed Debbie's "physical test": as he has acquired great pectoral muscles shoulder development, pretty flat abds, all just like she wants on her men; and he's losing the flabby middle age fat mass around his middle. But now, unlike for the past 3 months, he won't talk to her. And unlike those night club cowboys with their streamlined bodies, Bill could be hers for the rest of their lives, not simply for a night or two or even for 3 months. But it seems that Debbie still need some type of motivation for contacting and talking with Bill. It's hard for her to simply email Bill asking that they talk. I recall that after Debbie's long day with Lew Walters (Bill's divorce attorney)(Chapter 02D) she goes out of her way to find Bill (thanks to Cheryl) at Hurly's Gym at 9:00PM. They talk but Bill dismisses her before she has said what she came to say. Also, I remember that after Debbie had her phone conversation with her mother (Cathy; Chapter 03B) she again locates Bill, (thanks to Cheryl) and goes to his office - and again Debbie is dismissed by Bill and doesn't have the opportunity to say what she came to say. I guess that what goes around comes around - and NOW Debbie wants to reconcile whereas Bill wants to "play the field of available gals."

Bill has his pre-cruise encounter with Myra who indicates hers interest in him after the finalization of his divorce. And there is the beautiful but secretive Aline des Jardins. French women can be secretive, and they usually get what they want in life. During the 2nd world war, they were extremely effective resistance fights and got their "Free France." Isn't Aline spending a lot of time around Bill? She's a employee not a tourist on the cruise ship.

There is a second NEW gal Bill meets on the ship -Mrs. Cyndi Matthews. She seems to really admire Bill for his abilities as a lawyer. She regards him the best attorney around. Generally speaking though the best attorney in a state is its "top attorney," the State Attorney General. Bill may become that in the story.

Another reader, Kelly_Kelly already pointed it out. It's really amazing to see that female readers are taking interest in Loving Wives stories. It speaks volume, DQS1, and also, the number of comments says that readers are very eager to know what will happen next.

You have taken the lead, DQS1, we have followed you. Don't stop now, and think about taking a turn. We will follow you till the end.

Dan and Caroline Jenkins from "The Dream Wife" meet Bill on board.

Bartolo, I hear what you’re saying about Debbie, an excellent analysis. I like slutty women but definitely wouldn’t want to be married to her. What bothers me about Bill is that he knew she had been whoring around in a fashion for years. It didn’t seem to bother him, till she said she didn’t love him anymore. Maybe it was finding out the truth in the emails that set him off. <P>

I don’t think Cyndi plays a part in all this. Read Kelly, Kelly’s earlier comment, she ends up with Lew after her divorce. The same goes for the Attorney General position, DQS1 is a romanticist. I’m with Jennybear on this one. Bill will ultimately get out of public service and get into a loving relationship. With whom is the question? <P>

Dragon, I agree with you completely, glad to see the distaff side represented here. I always enjoy reading Kelly, Kelly and Jennybear’s comments. They both seem to be very in tune with the story or the author.

Just read your bIO, and ogled you photo, and I would like to say, that if I were and you were, I would definately ask you out.

Seperficial I know, but gal your HOT.

If anyone wonders at the quality of DQS' work — how come we are almost all leaving MULTIPLE comments on his chapters. Hot damn — L.E. ought to open a separate board for this story! <br><P>

On a chapter related note: a lot of people are getting upset by the way that Bill and Debbie are acting, but I would like to relate an experience of my own. My business partner found himself in a divorce situation, and to be honest, he went a little crazy for awhile, and ended up destroying our partnership because he became pretty damn paranoid about everyone and everything. Only after he managed to make me withdraw from our partnership did he discover that our clients, the banks, our suppliers, etc., all worked with him because they trusted me to do the right thing, to make sure they would be paid on time and in the right amount, etc. <br><p>

So cut Bill some slack — he needs some time to regain his equilibrium in the story. As for Debbie; can you imagine her frustration that her soon-to-be-ex starts taking care of himself, losing weight, takes time off (granted under threat by his boss), and all of the things that she had TRIED to get him to do, but only after they are snarling at each other, deep in a divorce? <br><p>

I remain complete gobsmacked at DQS' willingness to create such a complex little world. The consistency issues of making sure that his stories agree with each other is mind boggling. Heck a lot of the time, writers mix up names or other really simple facts in a single story. DQS — Onward, I say!

"As for Debbie; can you imagine her frustration that her soon-to-be-ex starts taking care of himself, losing weight, takes time off (granted under threat by his boss), and all of the things that she had TRIED to get him to do, but only after they are snarling at each other, deep in a divorce?"

This got me thinking a bit. One of Debbie's biggest gripes is that Bill's gotten flabby, and lost himself in his work, right? I'm merely speculating, since we'll never know, but what if Bill HAD taken care of himself, going to the gym, losing weight, spending more time with Debbie and the kids? Would Debbie NOT have cheated on Bill with Doug?

Personally, I think Debbie would STILL have done so. From the chapter where we first see a glimpse of what's going on in her head, we see that she feels she is ENTITLED to all the attention, that it is an entirely normal state of affairs that all men lust after her. That fighting off their groping hands would be an endless job, and thus she doesn't fight them off, but lets them grope and fondle her. And frankly, she likes the attention.

From Bill's point of view, Debbie has NEVER been the faithful wife he had wanted her to be (not that he was expecting her to be, we find out in later chapters). Not even at the very start, where Debbie claims to HAVE been in love with Bill.

So working out and paying more attention to Debbie would not have changed anything in the long term. It would only have postponed things, maybe.

Let's say you're a student and a teacher hates your guts. He'll give you a 5 no matter how hard you study or how well you do on your tests. Would you still study hard for his subject? No! You'd let it slide, knowing it would be wasted effort. Bill must've thought the same thing about Debbie. But now, with Debbie seemingly out of the picture, it WOULD be worth it, if only for his own selfesteem and selfworth. From the stories, we know Bill has always been utterly faithful, the Ice Man. So what would be the point of looking good if Debbie would still flirt around? What would be the point of looking good if all other women were off limits because he was married?

In a way, I'd almost find it funny that Debbie is now frustrated at Bill for doing the things she had always wanted him to do, but never did. Karmic payback for always flirting with other men even though Debbie knew Bill would not approve? Heh.

That's why you haven't seen anything from me in awhile. I can't think of a complete story yet, though I'm working on two separate--and very long-- multi-installment stories. So that's why you haven't seen anything from me in awhile. Thanks, though, for even noticing!

And please note that I was joking with DQS1. That's why I used the--to me--hated "lol" at the end of my comments. I agree with the others that we all have lives to live and he should take his time and continue posting at his own pace.

Still, I really, really, really wish he'd hurry up!

I read a very well written and well thought out comment by Mousse about Debbie. I guess that everything came together for Debbie in 2005: she turning 40, was assigned an assistant named Dr. Doug Baker, her nights out without Bill are taking up a great deal of her time and attention, Bill is, as usual, working late and - just look at him, he's a physical mess: he'd make a good "before" model for a Nutrasystem Ad on TV.

Debbie seems to live for the now and the hell with tomorrow. But tomorrow always comes and with Debbie's mind-set, life is going to become progressively worst. By the time she is 60 (in 2025) she may not be able to attract many hard bodies at exclusive night spots in JAX. Bill will probably still be around but will he be available? Maybe what happened in his marriage to Debbie will serve as a warning to him not to remarry. But I believe that no matter what, if an emergency arose where Debbie needed him and some finance aid, Bill would, I surely be her savior once again. Bill will be Debbie "guardian angel" from here on in come hell or high water. Alimony was/is/will not be necessary.

I'm really enjoying all the twists and turns of the story. I adore Bill and even Debbie is getting to be more interesting as she is fleshed out more. Can't to see what happens with Aline. But I really hope Bill doesn't go there with her. She's married and I'd be disappointed with him if he had something in common with Doug, who I still believe is unprincipled for going after a married women, albeit, an unhappily married one.

Still, great story.

Whom wants my take on the story.

To the analysis of Debbie: Debbie spent her time trying to make Bill jealous so he would pay attention to her. She would have had a better outcome of getting Bill to lose weight and spend time with her if when Bill was at home watching TV reruns and Debbie and the "CHILDREN" disappearing, because they didn't want to be constrained from doing things they shouldn't have been doing, she should have been trying to spend time with "HIM" (Bill) truing to seduce him instead of making an appointment to have sex on her terms.

I know, from being a healthy heterosexual male, that Bill would have responded to that approach much better and probably would have tried harder to please Debbie, instead of responding to a nagging, bitch of a shrew whom was out "screwing" around with other men and letting them rub their little peckers all over her, in front of Bill, and not.

As for cheating with Dougie, yeah it was coming because Debbie is a self centered bitch who really cares for none other than herself.

These are my opinions and I had no help deciding how to approach the subject of Debbie's attitude, but from the comments and the storyline so far I feel comfortable with this analysis and look forward to the next chapter.

Hurry, hurry, hurry, I'm going through withdrawal and am starting to get the DT'S

I knew you were joking but I never wanted you to feel left out. I love your work.

DQS I love your story and chapter 3D is my most awaited sub-story on this site. Rehnquist is a superlative writer of note and I love his work, but I so much want this to be a FULL story. I am willing to wait and wait - obviously I have no other option.

Kudos.

Dear DQS, It's time for your posting of the next chapter of this continuing, exceedingly well written and thought out surprise and suspense filled story. DQS you are amazing. You are an expert on north Florida life at the beginning of the 21 century a lot like writer John O'Hara was for Pennsylvania life and politics during the first half of the 20th century.

Dear DQS.

I'm so glad you're continuing this marvelous and very satisfying story. For the most part, your characters grow in depth and interest, and the story line deepens as well. This is the first storyI search for when i bring up this site.

If others find the story boring or overlong, well then I suppose that's just the nature of this venue. If I were in your place when such comments arise, i would just remember the old Johnny Carson retort when he got booed by the off-the-street audience: "Remind me, how much did you folks pay to get in here."

I will miss this story when it is finished.

Worry Beads in VA

As I've been doing lately, I'm using this comment section to give anybody interested a heads up on the next chapter of WWWM. I just turned in chapter 3D an hour or so ago so it should post Tuesday, July 13. As always, I regret that it takes so long to turn these out, and again, I hope those of you who are enjoying the story continue to do so.

I admit I'm not the most conscientious reader. I will skim through a paragraph or two if it is moving slowly or if I don't like what is occurring. <P>

This statement by Bill has been bugging me "I might be tempted by other women, was tempted by other women, but there was nobody – with maybe one longstanding exception – I'd ever wondered seriously about cheating with." Whom is he referring to? Did I miss something? I'm not about to re-read all ? chapters. (I have no idea how many there are with his numbering system) I doubt it was the woman Lew was joking about. Is this a bit of foreshadowing about some longtime friend who is going to make an appearance? Or just a throwaway line? <P>

I also don't read the comments thoroughly, so I apologize in advance if this has been previously discussed.

This is a good novel -- it's well written and the charaters are developing nicely so far -- but it's a novel and thus not very well suited as a serialised story. There's been no real progress in Bill's or Debbie's characters over the last the 3 chapters; we are seeing the same thing again and again in different colors; Bill is still down on himself and Debbie keeps blaming Bill for everything. I could have accepted this if it was a book I was reading and I knew something more interesting would happen in a few chapters. As it is we're forced to wait for DQS1 to post each chapter and honestly it's just taking too long. I appreciate it takes time to write chapters as long and as well written as these WWWM chapters, but honestly the story should have been completed before DQS1 even started posting at all. Right now it just seems like it's all about stroking DQS1's ego. The individual chapters don't have enough action to keep people's attention (in my honest opinion, I realise I'm probably just speaking for myself) and 30-45 minutes of reading once every 7-10 days just can't cut it. As I said, I like this story. I like thinking about the characters and how they may develop. I like thinking about the end result of Bill's and Debbie's adventures, but I honestly don't want to keep doing that over the next 2 to 3 months before this story is finished. You shouldn't rush the story, though. It's important the story doesn't seem rushed when you've decided to write it in novel length. However, the pace is just too slow for me (the posting, not the story as such) so I'm going to wait a couple of months and then start over.

Best of luck with the rest of the story.

-Jake.

"Because I know damn well what I felt back then. I did love you. "

Why did she love him. Was it just hero worship? Or was it in the dynamic personality of the man.

It is clear that the ending will find that "she is not in his league". He is a powerful and important man, a dynamo in the courtroom. But we haven't seen that dynamic in his personal life till this chapter. And then, just in the quick reflexes blamed on his Boxing training.

The next chapter should (hopefully) answer some of this question. It will be tough, DQS is too good, and will have to show us, not just tell us of his dynamism.

In the end, Bill will understand he is worthy of the love of a beautiful woman, but Debbi is not worthy of his love.

Good story, but your previous excellent work has set the bar high. And so far you are up to that lofty standard. Thank you.

Excellent read. I give it ***** out of 5. Please continue with this tale as quickly as possible. Well written, good character development, and good story.

Thank you

POC

You are a damn good writer but this Chapter run counter to the entire theme of the story. You introduces us to Bill a straight arrow guy fucked over by his bitch wife. Yes - bitch because as we learn thare is no rational reason why she treated Bill like cow dung. She decides that she deserves a better life after she is no longer needed by her kids and blames her unhappiness on Bill. She carves out a separate life without Bill and lol a stud appears to take her romantically away from her "dire" life situation. She conducts her emotional affair with Doug while she builds up courage to dump Bill. She trashes Bill in her e-mails to Doug telling him all about his inadequacies as a man and a husband. All the while maintaining the illusion with Bill that everything is ok. What she really wanted was to have Bill as a cuckold while she enjoys her studs but she knew that Bill would not stand for it. Bill finds out and take action to free himself from the bitch he won by being a hero. Now you are taking him down the same road as Doug - just another pussy hound. So he demonstrates his manhood by cheating with another man's wife. Classy - NOT!

I await the letdown in your writing and pacing, but so far, so good. This remains quite good.

i am enjoying this story. While i think that literotica is the wrong medium for this, i am still enjoying it very much and will progress on to the next chapter. This should be a novel

Given his state of mind I really think that would be soooo unbelievable.

sucks. you have written better than this drivel

as published and earning him money!! You dumb ass, you rad and botch you must be a cross dressing fag!!!! WWWM is one of the best stories on here. You are a brain dead frog!!!

it is. whatta waste of typing

Brilliant ,hope the rest is as good

I must admit I like the story moving AWAY from his, so called, wife......in spite of what she says, the only person she's in love with is herself. Anyway, I think your story is intelligent and well written. This chapter really does show more about his character. He is self depracating while his wife assumes she is irresistable to ANY man.

The french tramp is just another cheating slut. she is married but she is selling herself like a high priced whore. There is no difference between her and the cheating cunt Debbie.

"You satisfied me. Until you decided you loved this damned job more than you loved me."

She makes it sound like he made a conscious decision to "love the . . . job more than . . . me."

When did she express any concern about it? She went out with her friends with no apparent concern for his absence, and obviously made no objections when the men took liberties with her body. Any true wife would have been slapping a lot of faces until they got the message to keep their hands to themselves.

I know it wasn't the primary thrust of this chapter, but we know from her Emails that his wife does not love him, her sex life with him was boring at best and she wanted out of the marriage.

Now that she has what she wanted she seems upset that he doesn't want anything to do with her, like she needs some sort of validation that he is pining away without her.

she is married, what happened to his morals? He has lost a lot of weight, will his wedding ring will fall off without him knowing? Maybe he can bury that dam ring and the marrage at sea ! ! !

bill....

always 5s I just don't comment when I get into a story, like to see the end first.

Where are you heading DQS with this new direction, is Debbie finished as far as Bill's concerned, is Aline the new flavour of the month?? Where, indeed from here.

I read your notes at the end of this chapter & have to agree with many other readers that this is getting far too long, beginning to get boring & you're not really moving the story along a great deal with each chapter, hell there's still about another 12 to go.

The standout for me at this stage is that whilst you're an extremely talented writer, with this particular story I think you've lost the fact that most readers on this site aren't here to read 21 chapter stories, they want to read a complete, hopefully, finished story of 4 - 6 pages, fullstop. You seriously messed up by not having a good editor go through this with you before you published the 1st chapter. I'm sure an editor would helped to eliminate many of the repetitive scenes between Bill & Debbie that have occurred in the latter chapters. Unfortunately it's no longer that much fun reading this tale now... way too long & slow. 3 ***

MAYBE he at one time satisfied her, but that can be a relative term.

Nowhere is it indicated that he made her scream like Doug does.

It's quite obvious that he is basically correct, that her "love" was primarily based on her hero worship, and as soon as he was no longer a hero in her eyes she looked elsewhere.

What is there for any woman to know about prosecutor Maitland? He's a dumb-assed anti-social freak of nature that can't tell a juicy cunt from a crappy asshole! The only cunt he ever knew belongs to a woman who was his slutty wife and is now some young stud's plaything.

Maybe next time your captain asks you to watch over a troubled passenger you should find out more about that person? The guy's wife lied to him for years and then betrayed their marriage, and you spend half a cruise lying to him and then cap it off by suggesting that you're having thoughts about betraying your marriage with him. No way THAT could end badly, right?

A wake of buzzards

A plague of locusts

A drove of bullocks

An intrusion of cockroaches

I been trying to come up with the most correctcollective description of the BTB lynchmob commentators.

Hey! I got it!

A hypocrisy of analmousies

Accurate and succinct!

The Maitland character admits that for many years he has been fantasizing about other women while he was pretending to make love to his wife. Yet none of you had the gumption to admit the significance of that confession?

Yet for every female character, who is written to admit they have had even the mildest daydream of romance ranging to imagining sexual relations with non-spousal male. The lot of you are baying that she must be punished with eternal damnation in abyssal hellfire.

Yes indeed, you have all earned your collective designation as a hypocrisy.

@ fanfare To do extramarital sex or to think of it. Are you think these things are equal??????A BTB's question.

an absence of self worth only dwarfed by his God Complex.

"What's happened...Bill, it doesn't change what we had." - Huh? Her having at least an emotional, if not physical, affair doesn't change what they had?

"Our marriage is shot. You killed it and I buried it." - Shouldn't that be the other way around? SHE killed it, and Bill buried it!

"You lose weight, you start looking really good, and you go on vacation. After our marriage goes to hell. Why did you have to wait until now?" - Your marriage didn't GO to hell,you sent it there. And he's only going on the cruise because his boss ORDERED him to go or be fired!

"I had just checked into my suite, one of the top rooms on the ship" - Why such fancy accommodations for one person? It's not like the Big Man has unlimited funds,he mentioned having to juggle things to hide the money he was spending.

"There is a two-man musical trio playing until at least 2 a.m." - I hate to nit-pick (Well, no, I love to nit-pick, LOL!), but musical trios have THREE people, not two!

"And if I came inside her thinking of another woman" - Somebody used this to accuse him of being just as bad as Debbie thinking about Doug, but there is a HUGE difference between idle fantasy, and thinking about someone you are having an actual AFFAIR with, emotional or otherwise. He is talking about all the temptations that he has faced, and turned away from, and sometimes got him so wound up that he thought about them during sex with Debbie.

While I'll take Aline at her word that she doesn't know the details of his situation, and granted, he has greatly improved his appearance, but she HAS to know that even if not from HER perspective, but certainly from HIS, she is WAY out of his league, she has admitted to being with him "on assignment", so for her to be SO insulted that he assumed that sleeping with him was just another part of the assignment is a little bit unreasonable (although his charge of her getting a "bonus" for bedding him, making her a REAL prostitute was also over the line!).

I do not always comment on every chapter, but the quality of the writing and the depth of the story/characters make these a good read!

My big problem with Debbie, is if she felt that their marriage was over, she should have ended it BEFORE she got involved, sexually or otherwise, with another man.

THEN they could maybe have had the "friendly" divorce she seems to want.

Since in my mind Bill turned in his resignation, this cruise never took place.

But notes on this chapter. Bill has no social skills whatsoever. His wife Debbie has ruined him. She might as well had castrated poor Bill. This makes twice he has verbally accused a woman of being a whore. He was right about Debbie; but he is wrong about Aline. I don't see anything productive coming out of this cruise other than the sea air, good rest and maybe a little bit of suntan. Bill should think about taking the Defense Attorney job up in New York and tell Dallas to take his job and shove it!

Got me hooked. I read comparatively little fiction...I'm really liking this!

This is a full blown novel, so upward an onward to the end.

Pathetic!!

what an asshole!!!! This fag needs to be banned.

Interesting.

When this went fairy tale with the beautiful interloper, it turned to fluff. Too bad.