All Comments on 'When We Were Married Ch. 03C'

This chapter was literally boring, I almost skipped whole. I took me less than 10 minutes to read whole. Write Quantity or Quality, you doing none.

get help dude, story is dying, ending is not always, good enough to make story good. If you have ending in your mind which is good, you did a good start but dont ruin it by adding these boring, parts in middle.

Your voices seem kinda muffled there. Maybe you should try pulling your heads out of your respective asses. Or better still go watch some free online porn and get yourselves together with your short attention span minds somewhere else.

I think plot and character development is something entirely foreign to you. And it shows.

This one dragged somewhat. But overall I look forward to reading more of this story. Great job so far. Thanks

Ms steele as far as I am concerned you are one of the better writers I have come accros,I wait for each and every installment,just dont keep us waiting too long...

I think this is a great story and can't wait to see where it is going. Don't listen, please, to the folks who just want a stroke story. You have good character development and a story line that I would like to see more of. Thanks!

I think readers would have loved to have read Debbie's POV after their conversation....and then off to the Bonne Chance with Bill....but you blew it.

Plus this whole chapter of introspectiveness was like watching paint dry. We know the colour, the wall and its physical attributes....but we don't necessarily want to waste our time seeing it dry.....and that is what you did to us...you made us watch paint dry. Why?

Get on with it...and stop with the annoying comments at the end...you are subjecting yourself to being a nuisance like some of the other commenters....keep in mind that a great painter knows when to apply the "last stroke" to his masterpiece....you are just not there yet.

Andy

I'm beginning to wonder how Debbie lasted 20 years with Bill. EVERY time he interacts with Debbie in the entire story, he's a shit. He was a shit with Jessica Simpson, with Cheryl, with Myra. He's a shit with every woman on the cruise except the married Mrs. Matthews. Poor Bill has some serious problems.

There will be no reconcilliation. Bill will kill any chance of that happening.

Good story and good read. Looking forward to the next chapters.

i have lost count of the number of books i have read in the last fiftysix years but i have this to say to any complainers of this story-go fart in the bath tub and bite the bubbles. very good story. and i check each day for another installment

To introduce at this stage another female who "could match Debbie" and let it be a married woman, does open up an interesting direction. The writer is saying there is an entire story there and I will patiently await its continuance. Your writing is better than almost every other writer on this site.

Been following this story and anxiously await the next installment, superb writing

Ignore the critics, write for your own (and our) pleasure!

I'm stuck waiting for each episode.

I'd love it if you were able to place the whole story online now but that's the same as giving little kids the keys to a lolly (candy) shop. I'd consume it now and want more tomorrow.

Speaking of which, you will be producing other stories too! Won't you?

Ignore the critics, ask them to write better! Not likely!

Give up the animosity towards Debbie. Your only access to freedom is to be responisble for your life and give up being her victim. Being someone's victim for life is what resentment is and resentment will eat you alive. In every interaction and thought about Debbie, Bill is her victim and you can hear it in his words that he will be her victim forever. He was heading towards freedom when he started to take responsibility for his relationship with Debbie during his meeting with Tenner.

BTW blame or fault has nothing to do with responsibility. Assuming blame and fault is NOT being responisble. Men are responsible. Boys are at blame and fault.

It is so out of character for Bill to whine and piss and moan about what terrible things Debbie is doing to him.

Mr. Maitland is entirely to enamored with his ability to "read" people and to see what they think and what they do. The dichotomy between who Bill is as a professional and who he is as a man is almost too much to assimilate. It's like a split personality -- a regular Jekyl and Hyde. Makes it very hard for me to respect his character.

I thought the last chapter was a little boring and slow, This one however more than makes up for it. Can't wait to se what happens with the French woman, she's very mysterious. Great chapter please don't let it down with the next one. By that I mean nothing happens.

I like to read ten volume romances so the detailing of characters and moments attracts me rather than repels me. Bill certainly strikes out efficiently at everyone who tries to extend a helping hand. Makes sense to me though because I feel a certain resonance with him. Thanks Daniel for not letting the negative comments send you off track..

I am really enjoying this story. My only idea as to why reader interest has waned would be the length of time between installments. My only experience with writing has been high school and college, so I'm not qualified to critique yours or the schedule you have set. But I will say that it's a very good story line, you are developing the characters well, and I anxiously await each new chapter. Please... keep them coming!

Great story, well written and I really look foward to the next. Any complaints should be laughed at, let them write their own. thanks and keep going, Brian.

This is probably one of the best written stories i have ever read on here. You just keep on going. Cant wait for the next chapter :)

This is an extremely well written chapter I enjoyed the new tweist and his conversation with Debbie Not sure where you are going with the story, but keep up the great writing....

I am enjoying this story a lot, but I'm starting to have a real bad feeling about the direction. Every guy with a pair understands that the best thing that could happen to Bill is hot meaningless monkey sex with a hot piece of ass, to build self esteem and allay performance anxiety. Only a women (or some kind of non-man) would honor a marriage that has crashed and burned when the cheating spouse very publicly takes a lover.

I loved it. I'm really enjoying your work. I've never been this excited about a story on Lit. I'm here for the duration and definitely not anxious for it all to end. TY

Jesus, people, he told us from day one that this was going to be novel length. There are damned few authors on this site who could write with such high quality and continue to throw in new plot twists that leave us all hanging. Thus, I suggest you be patient, enjoy it while it comes out, and--like me--be pissed off that I'm going to have to wait another ten days to find out if Aline throws a drink in his face or finally gives Bill the ride of his life.

DQS, fuck your other projects. You're responsible for all of us hanging on each installment, so get off your ass and get this done faster! lol

Although "slow," this chapter did an excellent job of describing Bill's state of mind and lays the foundation for future action, which so many seem to crave. I really appreciate the exploration of emotions that seem plausible for a person in Bill's situation. Keep writing - this is good.

IF readership has declined, it's proverbially 'casting pearls before swine'. This is a wonderful story w/ multi-dimensioned characters. There are points where it is erotic; but, it is not a quick stroke-story. Keep doing what you're doing. It's working, even if it is not to everyone's taste.

Those two anonymous men are the old coots in the balcony of the muppets theatre. Those that can, do. Those that can't, critique! I wish I could write one tenth as well as you do.

Thanks for sharing your story with us.

P.S. I certainly hope you continue with the story in installments, rather than making us wait until it's completed. I also hope it's completed before you take a 'vacation' to work on other things.

when I started reading your story I wondered where you would take this story. SWoon I became addicted and look for more. Please continue because you have a gift in being able to draw the reader into the story and keep their interest.

Thank you for this story.

to know that this is excellent, well written art. Keep writing. The serial format may be important to your creative energy. Don't change what is working well to satisfy your critics. You cannot satisfy everyone, so you must first satisfy yourself that your work is valid. You know you are an author and not a story teller; you have read many works here before you published. Noli illegitimi carborundum.

And if the comments are indicative, then I'm not sure where you may be getting that impression! In any case, I appreciate the characterr development and the dialogue. Please don't be put off the the superlatives given to your writing, and accept the genuine admiration of getting to know Bill Maitland. As I mentioned in earlier comment, I just hope he can keep his head, heart and mind together . . . Debbie is no dumb blonde, and she is in his head for keeps (the stupid bitch!).

Jerry in Washington State, USA - I avoid cheating wives stories because they generally anger and depress me, even if the wronged spouse gets significant revenge. But your story makes me care about what happens next in Bill's life, even if he is his own worst enemy. Few writers, Literotica or otherwise, can write a long extended story and keep it both real and interesting. I look forward to whatever future plans you have for Bill. I do hope that Bill is able to apologize in the Alpha Lounge and at least allow his body guard to like him a little.

More you Write about Bill, more you make sure he is difficult to live with, His life is so damn boring, or you making it so that you can make what debbie did right. Bill seems boring not because of his high values but because he is not progressing, he never learns, he is stuck to the point where he was when it started. Although i dont like Debbie, but story part involving her is more interesting, there is a fight in her, whatever it is for. There is change in character, straight to fact, though she is a slut, i think. But her part is more interesting. I would have been better if you would have written whole story as narrator. Because switching narrating mode, resist it to become honest with readers. What i read, i think there is nothing special in reading story as Bill's point of view. Whatever it is, third narrator mode or Debbie's part, i liked more than when Bill narrate.

im not a frequent comentor and just like to read good storys but felt i had to post to let you know that the intrest in you story for me atleast is far from waning and i find my self checking for updates daily even knowing its imposssibe for you to have posted one so quickly :) so please dont lose heart im sure theres loads of people lurking like me and i promise to vote and post more often if you keep writing as well as your doing now

so thanks for all your efforts on our behalf

is a great device for getting to know a character, or characters. Bill's wonderings about the French woman show he doesn't at all realize that his appearance has obviusly changed for the better with his workouts. Debbie's parting thought indicates as much. He is still (not sure of the adjective but this one comes most) hopelessly a married man. Very understandable, the ring isn't necessary, the personality echoes married man. I never wore a ring while married, but for 31 years there was never a question; actions speak louder than jewelry.

I have things to do this Fourth of July morning to get ready for the afternoon cookout, but I have been looking for 3C for a few days so I put off getting picnic stuff ready and preping the grill. Damn glad your story showed up.

For what it is worth, I like the serial versions. There are two others I await each chapter. Gives a reason to come to Lit each day.

I so enjoy this story. Please continue, I am looking forward to the next one.

Keep up the good work. This story has me hooked and I can't wait to find out where it is going to next.

If you are like me and read 5000+ pages of multivolume novels for amusement and a thousand pages of technical journals per month then this is a delicious dessert. Yes, this is not about the divorce but about a man's search for himself. I would swear that I all ready posted on this chapter but can not seem to find it. Oh well, old age... I can't wait for the visit to the night club.... Thanks Daniel for writing a novel on here.

I thought the last chapter was a little over done - this one more than made up for it. I love it when I think about the characters after I finish reading!

Keep it up, you could be a big time author.

Excellent story, very good writing. You are well on your way to assembling a real good 'romance' novel if you ever decide to submit it to one of those publishing companies.

One thing I could not understand, nor was it implied or explained at least in this chapter what was the ex-wife doing in our hero's office?

The previous chapter had her thinking "deep thoughts" but which more or less explored her self-centered thinking more, with justifications to assuage her guilt. So are we meant to think that she is now feeling more guilty than before? She was physically repulsed by her husband, and was totally in to this young, built, hung guy emotionally and then sexually. And she had no compunctions. But now, she wants to apologize - for what? And is it truly because she now felt more attracted to the renewed and refreshed version of Bill? That is truly shallow. What happens when they are both in their seventies, wrinkled, overweight, with bad eyesight and constipated? So the commitment is only valid if the spouse never changes or changes only to what one desires?

Please keep it going. This one of very few stories on LIT that I look for to see if there is a new segment. Many thanks for writing it and if we have to wait a bit for new chapter because you are taking a break so be it.

Dont be fooled by a reduction in the number of comments. Like Bobnbobbi this serialisation is main reason for coming back to Lit each day. Really enjoying this story and have no idea where you are going to take us your readers but do continue as I like many many others find this story is gripping and compelling.

For some reason this story really resonates with me. I haven't read any of your other work and found this because I was intrigued by the title.

It is a good read and I would be disappointed if you abandoned the story.

I, like many of the other readers of this story eagerly wait each time I enter this website to see if there is a new chapter of this amazing story. I think that the steady character development is what makes this story so compelling and draws me back each time a new chapter is published. Please don't rush what is such a great story.

Yep, this is one of those stories that I want to quickly turn to the last page in the book to make sure the hero survives, before returning to read the rest of the book. Could'nt bare to think of the alternative. I love the main characters, and the new intriguing Ms. des Dardine. A truly great read, can't wait for the next chapter, so please, please, continue.

I still am following the story and some of your dialog stands out, but for some reason I think Bill stagnated a bit in this chapter. I suppose it is just showing how badly he was wounded and not much additional time has elapsed, but the wall of self loathing he has erected around himself is a bit long in the tooth. I commented earlier that he was waiting for the marriage to fail long before it did and that came out in the story line. Now he is convinced he is unattractive in spite of perfect strangers telling him he is not. How many people have to spell it out before he begins to see reality, if only to think about it. In other words, don't beat it to death.

I dislike the chapters that others like and vice versa. I like the way you are contrasting Bill's perception of himself with everyone elses. DQS, do not take a reduction in comments as a lack of interest. Often with a longer story there will be a flurry of comments early on, and then people will wait for major developments to respond. You are developing depth in your characters and plot. Do not for one moment think your efforts are unappreciated. You are writing a Lit classic.

As usual, well-written and very readable. Plot-wise? Well, I have mixed feelings (I guess like Mr. Maitland). Even though he is flawed and still hurting, the author keeps forcing him into a corner.

He was comforting and empathic to Cyndi Mathews, whose husband Andy really doesn't love her and is cheating (openly) on her during the cruise. Now why shouldn't he feel good about himself for having steered her away from the booze and escorting her (while being a gentleman) back to her room?

Yet we have Aline, sensuous, beautiful, married, social activities director, following Bill (into the gym at midnight!), teasing him, then putting him down as a subhuman who cannot feel anything for anybody. Frankly, Bill knows he is still technically married, and of course, Aline is married, so his reaction to her "shepherding" is totally appropriate.

And her response to rejection is typical female, anger that she can't manipulate this man, when she is obviously used to manipulating every man (due to her stunning looks). But Bill felt his hackles rise, just as happened with the large dog that threatened him when he was a child (and why can't we hear how he handled that situation?), so he instinctively knows it is a bad idea to go along with her.

Yet he plans to go the bar after Aline has tried to humiliate him in the gym? I cannot fathom why the author continues to portray Bill in a wimpy role. Maybe the author just views men that way. Net result: I have mixed feelings about the plot. Of course, I don't have to agree with it to enjoy the story, which I do. Thanks for writing.

Loved all of this chapter.

Bill's shutting down of Debbie was exactly what she deserved. After (1) her betrayal of him (and even _if_ she didn't have sex with Doug before the separation, the whole emotional affair, kissing, etc. was a betrayal of their marriage), (2) her publicly humiliating him, (3) her excluding him from the children's lives, (4) her mockery of him, (5) her trying to shaft him in the divorce, and (6) her open contempt for him, it beggars belief that she thought she could just waltz into his office and he'd want to cry on her shoulder or something. It was Debbie's choice to end the marriage: she should let Bill get on with his life and stop trying to re-insert herself in it. Didn't she tell him a few chapters ago to get over her? So why is she going to see him?

It's clear that Bill is still damaged goods from his marriage breakdown. His low self-esteem shouldn't be held against him for two reasons: (1) it's only a few months after a 20-year relationship (some people take longer than others to heal) and (2) remember a few chapters ago how many people were telling Bill he was basically a fat ugly slob that had no right to expect to keep a hot wife life Debbie and she was right to toss him to the kerb (OK a little exaggeration here, but not much).

In this chapter, we see that there's a fraction of hope developing for Bill. While the divorcee propositioning him did not break through his "wall", I think that if you gave Bill some more time, noting that other women are showing their interest in him (Myra, Alina; even Debbie with her comments about his changed looks) he would start to get the signal that he has quite a lot to offer to women and should get back "in the game" (or whatever euphemism you prefer).

Of course, the situation with Alina is awkward. It's not surprising that he lashed out at her after finding out that she was "assigned" to look after him. She wasn't exactly upfront and honest with him, and given his history with Debbie and his self-esteem problems, I can see how he concluded that this very beautiful woman was only hanging around him because she was paid to do so.

I believe Alina has a genuine attraction to "the new Bill", and Bill needs to overcome his self-esteem/distrust issues so he can see it himself. While Alina's initial dishonesty to him didn't help, it looks like the way she put him in his place near the end of the chapter has forced Bill to wake up to himself. I'm sure Bill's trip to the Alpha Lounge will make for fascinating reading.

One thing that worries me though is that Alina is a married woman.

All in all, a very well written chapter that is well paced and sets the scene (hopefully) for Bill to get his mojo back on the five remaining days of the cruise.

Great stuff! I check every day for a new installment. As I said before, a very powerful story, the best of this genre I've read.

pat_robert

My only complaint is my inability to turn the page and continue reading it! I'll definitely be here for the next chapter, and the next...! Keep up your excellent work on this piece!

3d: He finds the captain in Alpha lounge and calls him a liar. Aline defends the captain. Bill then tells them the story of meeting Debbie and his coma.

3f: He wakes the next morning with a headache and goes to see the Chemist (pharmacist). After describing his headache, he tells the story of meeting Debbie and his coma. The Chemist tells Bill he has just the thing he needs -- Le Grande Dick. This is a combination penis pump and sound player that tells your penis "oh what a big Dick" in your choice of languages, all very breathy. He throws in Le Weekend (Cialis) and tells Bill he can charge it to the room. Bill does so to stick it to his boss.

4a: Florida passes the "no penis left behind" statue as part of a late budget reconciliation session. Meanwhile Bill tries out his enhanced penis with one of the divorcees. BJ tells his sister the story of meeting Debbie and Bill's coma.

4b: Under the no penis left behind statue, Bill is allowed to fuck Debbie in the ass prior to the divorce becoming final. Bill had never fucked her ass out of respect for her earlier trauma. Bill is now willing; he takes a cialis, masturbates, and uses a thick condom (telling Debbie he doesn't know what Doug may have given her). He is so forceful Debbie loves it; she compliments him on his size and stamina.

4c: Debbie tells her sister's ghost the story of Bill meeting Debbie and his coma. The ghost tells her that she (the ghost) just made up stories because Debbie didn't deserve Bill. Debbie goes to her daughters bed and the daughter asks her about the story of Bill meeting Debbie and his coma. Debbie tells her that it's true. She tells her that she wished Bill had fucked her ass long ago.

4d: Debbie asks Bill to take her back. She shows up at his office with white hot pants and a red target on her butt. He takes her in his office. As they leave in an obviously disheveled manor the office breaks out clapping. Bill tells Debbie that he will only come home after they fuck in her office.

4f: Bill is fucking her ass as she leans over the arms of her office chair. Doug comes in using the key she had given him. He stops and stares. Debbie starts to tell him the story of Bill meeting Debbie and his coma; but Bill tells Doug to stick his dick in her mouth. Doug had not closed the door. A Grad student saw and was fascinated by her swing tits. He jerks off and yells Gooaaallll as he sprays her tits. Doug is startled, pulls out and sprays her face, then runs out of the room. Some coeds cheer.

5a: Word spreads at UNF. Doug leaves for the West Coast. While UNF ponders what to do about Debbie the soccer team adopts her as their mascot. Meanwhile the grad student completes his thesis: Free Tits, How Swaying Breast Stimulate the Florida Economy. It is widely cited and comes out in paperback with a picture of Debbie on the cover.

5b: Debbie and Bill are given the only box seats at the soccer stadium. Before each game she hugs each player on the team. Then she goes to the box with Bill. UNF is the Tremblin Earth, so she and Bill makes sure the stands shake (sometimes even when there isn't a goal on the field).

5c Debbie testifies to the legislature that no penis left behind saved their marriage. Debbie and Bill campaign for Bill's boss. In private, Debbie starts to retell the story of Bill meeting Debbie and his coma; but Bill sticks Le Grande Dick in her mouth and fucks her ass.

You read it here first

...for which he's unwittingly accumulating the evidence but hasn't processed it yet. He's too hung up on Debbie but maybe he will put everything in perspective someday. He's nasty to Debbie only because he's so torn up inside still - he wasn't like that before he discovered her reckless emotional, soon to be physical, betrayal. No matter what justification anyone has for her cheating, it still stinks the way she did it and it will take him a while before he can adjust to the real world. I find it realistic that he could be gentle and caring with Cyndi (and that act right there shows his true nature) but not with some other women, who he could see as teasers, cheaters or predators (just like his wife in fact). He thinks Aline is doing what she was ordered to do and said what he said because a big part of him wanted to be wanted for himself. Yes he's still married and may behave 'honorably' until he's not - he may on the other hand have a fling. Who knows? Why DQS1 of course because, strangely enough, this is his story.

Anyone getting bored has a simple personal remedy available at no extra cost above what you're already paying to read the story - simply stop reading it and leave it to the ones who appreciate the nuances and plot twists in this excellent story. This is not stagnating, it's progressing at a realistic pace and is certainly maintaining my interest.

Those who chose to criticize the story evidently haven't been in his situation. I have and I can completely understand the way his psyche is working.

From the way this chapter goesm there is no dought that both Bull and Debbie need to see psychiatrists. They both still love each other. ONE ADMITS ITM AND THE OTHER WOn;T It is obviuos with Bill:s fixation against blomdes, and Deb:S unwillingness to see how wrong she realy is(even the kids and her mom sees this)These two people are obviosly two stubborn and lost souls who need counciling.

Great story so far. Keep up the good work. But, the outcome still should be reconcilliation.

I'm happy to find the story progressing it hasn't waned at all with me. I wouldn't pay too much attention to comments. I wish my story serial was a fraction as successful as this one has been. The only concern i have with the storyline is that I worry its going to develop into something that not mainly about Bill and Debbie and into something else. But I am enjoying it immensely.

More please this is an enjoyable story

A good read. I understand Bill's hurt and pain, as you portray it. I do think that perhaps his bitterness is a bit overboard, but then maybe not. As romantics at heart my wife and I look for happy endings, but I also look for a bit of justice and consequences. So far it seems as if Bill has borne all the consequences of his wife's emotional then physical cheating, while she has gotten off lightly, and Doug has gotten all the "goodies"....I would like for her to get a "feel" for what Bill is going through....it almost seems as if she touched it a bit when in his office. I would really like to see Doug take a significant hit to his ego. Sure, young guys are always going to chase skirts, but he set out to seduce a married lady, whether she was ready or not....he got what he wanted, now let him get what he deserves!

Anyway, Thanks!

Gary and lInda

I disagree a bit with my husband, while I think Debbie needs to feel a bit of the pain she has caused, I don't seek huge consequences suddenly descending on her head, let love, forgiveness and grace prevail in the end....I vote for eventual reconciliation between them. Linda

Bill is starting to become a bitter, sooo sorry for himself pain in the ass!

It's time to shake it off and go on with his life! I like the story anyway. Gave it 5 Stars.

I've been looking forward to new installments of this story, and this one was certainly no disappointment. If you do write more, *I* intend to read them!

I find only one problem with the story. The content is fine but the chapter numbering sucks. I have no idea what the next chapter will be so instead of trying to write it down, I save it as after the date I just read. Have no idea in hell if the next chapter will be 3d, 4a or 39w

This is about the best thing I have read on this site. Keep going

Some of us read these stories and make no comment. We are like the so-called "Silent Majority". We read but make no comment until we feel one is needed. I now make mine.CONTINUE

Please disregard the idiots with short attention spans and especially the ones giving advice as how the story should progress. Your character development and the pace for the story is your call; your story and I have enjoyed every word of it.

Does it not make you so happy that Tolstoy, Hardy, Trollope and some other fine authors did not have the guidance of these fools. You might ask what contribution they have made to this site other than some inane unconscious foolish "advice". None.

Please continue at your pace and write the story as you originally planned. I will not miss a word of it.

Each and every installment has let me wanting more. Yes, Bill is bitter and I think it takes more than three months to get your head on straight after the kind of deciet Debby did.

Please keep writing your story.

Thanks

Ending a relationship is traumatic and akin to a death of a loved one. Everybody grieves in some fashion. Bill will be able to end his grieving period after the divorce is final. Anyone that expects a person to just move on immediately has never suffered emotional trauma.

If no one has noticed, the wife is in the beginning stages of suffering the same. Her grief is mitigated temporarily by the great sex she is having. Right now, it makes her feel desirable and worthwhile. This will eventually turn to emptiness because marriage is more than sex. She is beginning to miss the emotional intimacy and emotional security that she had with Bill.

Bill has too much integrity to fornicate while still married. He will be fine eventually. This story reflects real life struggles and is being written appropriately.

Great writing, please continue!

I'm sorry you feel peoples interest is waining, I can assure you that mine isn't. I look for a new chapter daily. I hope things continue to look up for Bill, his slut of an ex wife did a real number on him. I realize you have tried to portray her in a better light but her actions speak louder. If she had just asked for a divorce then it would just be one of those things. It was her long term cheating (yes, dating and going dancing with other men while telling Bill she had to work was cheating), her lies and belittlement of him that formed my impression of her as a worthless cunt. I hope he recovers from the mental abuse she heaped on him and that his life as a single man improves. Looking forward to the next chapter.

You've made it plain that Bill has high scruples about cheating when it is done TO HIM. Now, you seem to be setting up a situation where HE knowingly goes with a MARRIED woman.

I hope you'll not take that direction.

Well written and I am loving the series.

I'm sorry to hear that reader interest has "waned". I hope that it doesn't discourage you from writing this story as planned. Let me assure you that my interest has not "waned". I check everyday for another installment of this series. The do not come soon enough. Keep up the good work and keep the chapters coming.

Debbie needs to get Thur her think bimbo head Bill does not want see her or talk to her

she trashed him and has been cheating on him for years for what ? because he worked his tail off to give her and his children a better life than he had ! or was it he did not make her the center of attention ! or may be because he put on weight and his hair was thinning that is called getting older it's a part of life as you recall he was not aloud to touch her unless he showered and brushed his teeth which makes her claims to Lew that never gave any physical attention Bull Shit !

I know this is fiction but think about it for minute security knows that Bill is involved in a very bidder divorce would they let Debbie in his office with out at least calling him I think not ! OK say that did what was she going to gain by going there ? Debbie wants her cake and she wants to eat to. Bill is no longer her husband , partner or even her friend. she killed the marriage not him yes he may have had a small part in it but he was true to her. can you say the same ? NO DQS continues to thrash Bill it is story to write we all have a choice to read or not to. I guess what I'm saying is if you what to read a story a story where good ( Bill) prevails over evil ( Debbie the cheater) this is not it.

This is a good story and the writing is done well. However, nothing annoys me more than wasting time, space, and opportunity using recaps at the beginning of each chapter. It is a series and only the most dense would not realize to start at the beginning if they hadn't read it already.

Don't interpret a lack of replies/comments as a lack of interest. You're crafting a very entertaining and evocative story. Thanks for the work you're committing to this and please keep it up.

first of all, i like your Myra character. sexy, sassy, and not stupid. i still love this series, but Bill is starting to get on my nerves. yeah, his character is probably more real than most, but this is fiction. anyway, love the charcater interactions.

don't get discouraged by waning comments. this is still a great story, as are all of yours. it's just that, after leaving comments on a couple of episodes, it palls, and one simply reads for the great pleasure it gives, and looks forward to the next episode. also, stories do not develop evenly, and some episodes will be more exciting than others. this does not mean that they are not all necessary. if it's any comfort, I read each submission at least three times, and look forward to reading the whole story at one go, when it is finished. you are the best writer currently submitting on this website.

When Debbie walked into Bills' office and they had their dissertation, he spoke straight forward and without vengance about their relationship, her conduct and the future. She tersely told him he killed their marriage and she buried it. Well, this is where he should have told her that she was justifying and kidding herself. If she really cared for him she would have made him sit and talk and openly made him aware that she was slowly fading away and didn't want to - he needed to make some changes. Being as she used his lifestyle and business as an excuse to go out and openly flirt, allow other men to ogle, hustle, flirt and fondle her and then court Doug with all of her sexy flirtation and come on - she was in reality a closet slut, whore, cheat, liar and a sneaky underhanded adulterer looking for excuses to get laid and justify her conduct!!!

Anyway, enjoying the series!

I continue to think that you are one of a small number of active authors writing interesting, well written cheating wives stories. I did tire somewhat of women continuously being attracted to him and he turning all possible advances down and not being aware of the physical changes that have resulted from his gym regimen. Even if he is still emotionally wounded and turns these women down he would have recognized and felt good about the physical changes and not be so utterly clueless.

I must say that your story is the first thing I look for when I access new stories.

(1) He thinks his cheating wife --- someone HE made to cheat, due to his lazy, ugly, balding, short ass --- is in a "league" he don't belong; <p>

(2) He can not talk to any one, or talk about any thing, without talking or thinking about how much he loved and still loves Debbie, the whore who he has unwittingly made to hate him so much she'd fuck Doug's MUCH BIGGER DICK in his bed all the time these days..... <p>

(3) Debbie's blonde and GORGEOUS and in a LEAGUE he, a short balding over worked, psychologically devasted little man can't hope to be with, or in.... So every blonde woman who he comes accross or who proposes a night of no string attached sex in HER luxury room... all he could think about was his IN A LEAGUE he don't belong it wife, Debbie... Blonde hair triggers unhappy memories for him... <p>

(4) Another woman --- the attentive French woman "I am the assitant director of hte ship, making sure you and others are comorftable" --- has been following him around, calling him YOU ARE EXTRAORDINARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1, and all he could do is just argue with her. By the way, she's brunette, with hair so black, it's blue. He can't deal with her either. She's so diffrerent from his Debbie of 20 years, a woman in a LEAGUE he don't belong... <p>

(4) He then tries to make conversations with another woman, a married one, who cochroach of a husband --- even SHE admitted it --- only married her likely due to her parents wealth. After some dances and tear-drying, she said to him, in the dark of night by her cabin (with hubby on shore, drunk as susual, fucking away): "I know he don't love me, not yet, but I am determined to make him love me, LIKE I LOVE HIM!" <p>

Our big, short, EXTRAORDINARY --- as the beautiful woman, in another league similar to his whoring and beloved wife Debbie --- balding but now shaved ass. attorney said to himself, as he gently kissed the suffering young married woman by the cheek: "Don't worry, he'd soon realize what he really loves and that's you, no your money or other women, and come back to you." <p>

Of course, quietly he said to himself: "That asshole will never change; poor woman."

(5) He goes to his room being bitter... but at least he NOW ADMITS he could actually MASTURBATE and get a RAGING HARD ON thinking about his beloved, evil, in a league he don't belong wife Debbie FUCKING Doug's MUCH BIGGER DICK in his bedroom, well, one he used to sleep in with beautiful but selfish whoring Debbie, his beloved for almsot 20 years... HE can get a hard on masturbating think about Doug's MUCH BIGGER COCK plowing Debbie in their bed! Wow! That bitch, hmmmmmmmpppp!

(6) The French broad, having sometime ago, said to his face, "We we French said, go fuck yourself," and walks a way... This, by the way, was the woman THE AUTHOR had say to our big, tall, short, balding fat hero: "You are EXTRAORDINARY".... <P>

Of course, it's all a play-act, as he --- being the smart and insightful big Ass Attorney he was --- knew it. She's asked to keep an eye on him and fuck him, if he so wanted.... but he blew her off, rightly so, he reasoned, she even though she's blackhaired, French, and beautiful... like Debbie, she also belonged in a LEAGUE of her own, out of his reach.... <p>

Seriously, dear author, what fucking gibberish nonsense! <p>

All this man was able and willing to think about --- whether out on a cruise in the high seas or at his little office --- his cheating beautiful BLONDE wife, who's in a LEAGUE of her own, beyong his reach (and that he's been such a lousy, fat, little ugly balding man didn' help his case)... about how BIG HE THINKS DOUG'S DICK IS and how much further he can shove it inside Debbie than he, the little ugly, short, balding man, our hero here.... and why would SHE keep saying she didn't love him any more... after 20 years of him LOVING her faithfully... <p>

I bet, like the other stories the dear author's written: our Hero would be put in a very potentially harrowing set of circumstances... and like that pilot business guy (whose wife dicked other man, divorcing him, saying what a lousy sone of a bitch he was, in and out of the bedroom... with another faithful and good woman coming in to help him pick up the pieces....), he'd scream, at what he imagines to be at death's doorstep... <p>

Oh, Debbie, my beloved, I can't live without you, so I am dying without you! But know my heart belongs t oyou forever and ever and ever. Love, Bill, your short, small-dicked, balding fat ugly husband... Please, make sure Doug love our two kids more than I did... what a lously son of a bitch I had been to you and our two kids all these years... but no more... now I am going to die... I wish you and Doug a long, happy life together, unlike what you and I said... and if not young big dicked Doug, then someone else better would come along, my beloved dear cheating Debbie... You are in a LEAGUE of which I never belonged... and I knew it and accepted it, though hard! <p>

I mean, dear author, WTF! We know it's your story; but you might want to explore writing MEN with OTHER characteristics, too... not just the same type of small dick, ugly, short, fat, self-incriminating idiots who are supposed to be fake hot shots in his line of work.... it's nauseating after awhile... I don't mind intelligent, introspective men --- and women --- but I think if every story you write are about guys dying or close to dying, having been kicked out of his home, screaming about his beloved wife he can't let go.... It's becoming a mental masturbation fetish, like what JPB's doing, and not serious creative character driven stories...

dying. What started as a great and very stimulating story is rapidly running out of steam. Please bring it to a conclusion soon.

Bravo - Like any well written story, this is settling in well. Contrary to the usual fare here (not to downgrade a good stroke story) you are fleshing out the real world with the miltifacited emotions of your characters.

This is marathon not a sprint - Please keep it up.

<p> Well crafted. Engaging. Believable. May not adhere to Ernest Hemingway's rules for brevity, but it is so well written that probably shouldn't be overriding. </p> <p> </p>

<p> But what really grabs me is the title. Just as ohio's <i> The Letter A </i> hints at its content before the reader even begins, so does this title. We don't judge a book by its cover, but we certainly do judge it by its title. The more creative, the more we are intrigued. </p>

<p> </p>

Almost without exception, I detest cerealized stories. I either lose interest, or forget the story line from one week to the next. This one is the exception. It has captured my interest from the beginning and always leaves me wanting for the next episode. Yet, for those of us whose memory is beginning to weaken, the brief recap at the beginning of each new issue awakens those sleepy brain cells. </p> <p> </p> <p> I say, Bravo! This one is destined to become a classic.

Since every complaint about how long, boring, redundant, needlessly wordy and filled with unnecesary facts and verbage this has become is met with the incredibly intelligent response of, "Well, he said it was going to be novel length," why not have the author just cut and paste some big city phone directory or the dictionary into the next dozen chapters and then wake us up when he gets back to the good parts, like when something actually happens. Some idea of a main plot that is taking more than baby steps to get from point A to B, THE POINT. Come on, those 19th century novels that some of us were force to read in better English classes in high school had more zip than this and all they were full of were jibberish, out of date words used to describe unrequited relationships beween repressed, Puritanical spinsters and bachelors that went nowhere except maybe suicide cause those people were never allowed to express themslves. Gee, EUREKA, in a way, we haven't come far, have we? Actually Hawthorne might read like Mad Mag compared to this post. Notice how Ms. DQS is soooo in touch with emotions and Bill's femine side. and misses many things MEN would take for granted. And phone directory, dictionary? Ms. DQS seems to be pulling stuff outta a prior reference already. Please note: agent provocateur, Size guy, and DQS BOTH like to use the boiling frog object lesson (Comment on2C on 6/2/10). Coincidence? Writing for the crowd? Or something else? Size guy, Ms. DQS?

Give me somebody to cheer about... Nobody can be as asexual as he has become... nobody can be a short in the ego department as he seems to be and get where he was/is... nobody can be as self loathing and clueless about himself and not eat the end of a gun... You are a good writer, one of the best here and this story started wonderfully but you are loosing track of the toons... turning them both into narcissistic assholes?? Come on DQS give me somebody to cheer for!!!

You got your mojo back with this installment. The past several have provided needed info, but were a bit wordy and while providing insight at times, kind of ran over the same themes over and over. His thoughts, etc. While it is a good way to keep it in the readers mind, at some point you have to move the story forward.

I do think the impatience is due to the fact we want to see the couple reunited, or some resolution, but like every good read I want you to see it out to the end. At that point we will all be able to provide proper judgement with perspective of knowing the whole story.

I am very curious about yourself, and how you are able to instill real life insights into the characters. ARe you a professional writer? A practicing or retired psychiatrist or psychologist? Your expanation of motiviations of the various characters seems quite good and in keeping with my life experience. I am sincere when I say this would be a very good selling novel if you had it published-have you been published before?

I am not happy you stopped this installment here, I so want to see what happens in the lounge-and I expect Debbie to show up at one of the stops on the cruise. Dont know how he can get over the images in his mind of his wife's infidelity, but isnt that the case most of the time in these type situations?

Wish there was some way Literotica could inform readers when a certain author posts, so it doesnt require daily checking to make sure we are not missing something...keep up the good work!

......... as it was after reading Chapter 1. Dr. Ernst Teller, M.D. thought Bill was a special person; well I think that DQS is special as a writer. He show great originality, ability to employ the English language, and (importantly) his use of short sentences, in groups, to emphasis important points (Hemingway did much the same thing). In this latter regard, I'll always remember Debbie's thoughts when she was picking up the pierces of the broken globe (remembrance for their 5th anniversary) that Doug had accidentally broken (Chapter 02B). It reads "It was like life. You plan for things to stay solid and be there forever. But they break and they wind up thrown in the trash. Just like her and Bill. But it wasn't her fault. She knew that. It was Bill, the sorry bastard. He had thrown their life away".

So far, Bill's getting a good deal of attention. The most prominent to me seemed to be from Debbie, for example, saying that why hadn't he done when they were together what he's doing now, with and for himself. Then there is a lovely French gal named Aline des-Jardens. I still have not figured her out. She's married, perhaps not happily so, but seems to look up to Bill probably because of his job and his having been named by the press and radio as the "Angel of Death." which does not fit his persona. Then there is Myra, who despite the fact that she resembles Debbie in putting to much emphasis on her physical attributes, might really turn out to become a fine supportive wife for Bill; and unlike Debbie, Myra knows what Bill's life entails. Finally, there is Jessica Stephens who has a long time boyfriend named Carl Cameron. There is a secret here that Carl will not disclose involving Jessica.

Great story DQS. Are you sure that you are not telling us something about yourself. Perhaps that you might be a long time writer in Hollywood? I think that this story could make a successful movie, in the right hands.

Gotta read this chapter again but I still think that Debbie is the best candidate for Bill after things settle down. But how could one get her mind out of her college days behavior to her present day of being a mother 40 years old who need to be advanced to Associate Professor of Business Administration with tenure at the University of North Florida. Bill and Debbie had a history together for nearly 20 years. They share many things in common, e.g., two teenage children, memories of past events such as the cruise to Alaska, there meeting the way in which they did, music, etc. People in the story seems to mainly take Bill's side over Debbie - e.g., Cathy (Debbie's mom), Lew Walters, even Doug(!).

Story started out great and interesting. Story now getting too involved, long, tedious.

Who knows Maybe the Specter of Death will finally

get his "Head Out of His Ass". I understand about not messing with a Married Woman after yours dumped you.

but to turn down and scare away so many with his Attitude is Wrong.

Drawing from real life experiences not wandering babble from an adolescent mind, I find the confrontation with Debbie a refreshing change in Bills attitude. It was good to see Debbie verbally slapped around and for once confronted with the fact that she is the cause of all the problems of not having a conversation with Bill.

It is disappointing that Bill is not mainlining Viagra and fucking every "blond bimbo" in site, just because Debbie is blond and he wants to get a measure of revenge.

Hopefully he will finally get a piece of ass and get his head out of his, and maybe Waldorf, and Sattler will stop complaining about the progress.

Great story DQS1. Looking forward to the next chapter. Keep writing please.

of "spend more time and write longer chapters". I feel like you just get going and then bump! you are stopped. And then we have to wait. All the guessing is coming from the need to know what is next and we are only getting sips and I prefer gulps. So if we have to wait, then let us know you need a couple weeks or three and really give us some chapters that will carry us forward and fill in some of the gaps. I am really enjoying the story and hope you have the energy and imagination to keep at it.

Bill, Bill, you got to wake the fuck up. Get some Viagra if you are afraid you are going to embarrass yourself. They have a doctor and medical dispensary on board, I'm sure. <P>

Seriously, this was a great chapter. I don't expect Bill to change overnight, the same goes for Deb. With each chapter I grow more appreciative of your writing skills. I know that only a fraction of the readers comment. Has your number of hits actually gone down? <P>

The scene with Debbie was so right. Bill's anger is going to take a while to dissipate. She will have to find absolution elsewhere.

I sure hope this SOB figures it out and ends up with some happiness. Great story. I also got a kick out of the "no penis left behind" legislation in one of the comments.

I'm still with you, as are many many other readers. Sure, we'd love to have a new chapter every day--but I'm an author too, and I understand that it just aint possible.

Unlike one commentator above, I'm perfectly happy to read a "cerealized" story--I just add milk and cut-up strawberries.

Thanks, ohio

Keep going. I feel that with this episode, the story is back on track. Keeping things real helps a lot. Also sticking to Bill's POV.

I know you're writing as often as conditions permit, but like many others, I still need a stronger fix - the next chapter will do!

I dont know about anyone else but I am enjoying the story I hope it goes on for a while

it draws you in and leaves you wanting more

wish I had that kind of skill :)

Totally agree with Greybear42!! I look forward to each new posting!

Keep 'em comin'!

I can only speak for myself but I am looking forward to each new installment.

This story is really terrific! Normaly I prefer more action, but your style is so good that I look for the next chapter in this story before reading any of the others. Thank you for your work so far, it has been high quality. Please continue the good work.

Fred

Size 14 idiot - get a clue, nobody cares to read your prolific drivel defending the self-centered snot-nose slut of this story. Recommendation for this IQ idiot - crawl back under the rock you came from and keep trying to work on your gag reflex.

I enjoy what you write, so I am probably biased, but I think this story has been absolutely captivating!. I can't wait to see the next installment.

I read "Montana Summer" a few years ago, with the same enthusiasm that I have for this story. For my money, it may have been the best serialized story I have ever seen on this site.

So, please hang in there and write at your own pace. You have many enthusiastic readers out here, PLEASE REST ASSURED.

Your story is well balanced and developing nicely.

I like the character, Bill. Hopefully, he will discover there is life after job.

Debbie, on the other hand, seems to be turning into a Jekyll and Hyde. One moment she's acting like a whore and loving it and the next she's fighting with her inner demons and wondering what the hell is wrong with her. Then you have her get into a fight with her mother and tell Doug, who is the obvious predator, to pound sand. But, the whore's still in her and so is Doug. You have her come across as a bright and ambitious woman but not smart enough to see through her shark of a boyfriend or the proper manners and morals of a mother and married woman ... despite her husbands lack of attention, (a concern she, being such a strong woman, would have shoved down his throat instead of sleazing into the arms of Doug).

I look forward to the installments. My main concern is you, as other writers have done, initiated an involved series and will fail to continue submissions on a regular basis.

I don't know if you see how many people actually read your story, or if your counting reader feedback. The story is good, and well thought out i think. Just go your own pace and what you are comfortable with. You'll always have nah sayers. Its the way of the beast. Take a page from Mr. M, since he knows not everyone is going to be happy with the way he handles a court case.

P.S. Hope he does get to know Aline, not in the bed but i think she'll help him gain that self confidence for getting with his boss's secretary!

rereading this chapter and giving it more thought, I still am a burn the bitch fan, but in this case I am voting for reconciliation with the bitch after she is burned, humiliated and publicly punished for what she (Debbie) has done to Bill and their family.