All Comments on 'When We Were Married Ch. 06A'

THIS IS AS BAD AS PLAYING FALL OUT NEW VEGAS WITH ALL THE BAD ENDINGS HAPPENING!! But really good to see some of the past history, which i think is what the Doc is going to bring up in the near future, which i can only hope as you labeled this chapter 6A, or am i wrong... Anyways Awesome as always, and hope to see you next chapter in a few weeks! Even if it is longer it was well worth it!

Only one little glitch -- she wiped the back of her mouth with her hand, or something to that effect -- should have said that she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand (to get the cum off it). Other than that, very, very well-written. I've not read all the comments and perhaps others have said what I'm saying. I do agree with HDK that Bill should have known from her college days that Debbie would turn out the way she turned out (just like, "Once a cheater, always a cheater"). The cliffhanger at the end was a well-done bit of cruelty to get back at the fans for demanding that chapters appear a lot more quickly than once a month. Looking forward to the next one. 5 stars.

...But this chapter seemed to undermine them. It pretty much showed that the heroes were miserable dumb people not worth our time or interest to know what the hell would happen to them.

I would do that if I was writing a story and got bored and wanted my audience to go away.

Is that what this skilled authur is trying to do?

Well... some people on here need to get over themselves. If you don't like the series, stop reading it. Bitching about how often he posts is kind of silly too... he doesn't owe us anything... if we paid for regular content, then you could complain.

With that out of the way, I have to say that DQS is a great writer. Especially with dialogue... not like, Jim Butcher good with dialogue but head and shoulders above 90% of what I see even in publish novels, much less what I see on this site.

BUT... I have to admit that this is the first DQS story I've read where I skipped over parts. All those flashbacks about Debbie were just painful. I agree with someone who said the more he reads about her the more he dislikes her. She seems to have almost no redeeming qualities. I don't fault Maitland for falling for her and remaining fucked in the head because of her... I know plenty of smart guys (myself included) who are dumb as a hammer when it comes to women. But spending time with her in the story is a lot like spending time with people I can't stand to be around in real life. :P

To sustain writing of this quality over such a long time is wonderful. Thank you.

I still believe in the characters, still want to know how their story pans-out. Debbie is now becoming a properly fleshed-out character too, as Bill always has been.

Please keep it up. I don't care whether it is two days or two months between posts - jusr grateful to be able to read such quality writing for free.

Thanks again.

I’m not an apologist for Debbie and from earlier chapters I never thought I would be able to take her side on ANYTHING. However, some people who say she was a cheating slut back in college should read the flashbacks again, and this is why the flashbacks are an integral and very important part of their story.

After she met Bill and before she realized what was really happening to her, she went to bed with some other guys. When she DID realize what was happening, she stayed away from other guys. She told Bill she was faithful to Ramone until HE cheated on HER. Harry, I understand your point of view but I don’t believe she did fuck Ramone at that party of CC’s - I believe she did twist his nuts to dissuade him. Also, if they were meant to be a couple despite not ‘dating’ dating, remember Bill cheated on HER with Amy first, before she went out with that Owen guy. At the time she must have been in despair of ever getting together with Bill. Apart from that and despite Amy’s flawed verbal ‘evidence’ to the contrary (are we really going to believe the jealous slut who reveled in Debbie’s pain at seeing Bill in someone else’s arms, and who gave him the clap to boot?), Debbie was faithful to whoever she was in a relationship with; when she wasn’t in a relationship with someone, sure she screwed around, just like thousands of other young women, and men (including, as we see), Bill. When Bill and her got together, she was faithful to him for two years of courtship and fourteen years of marriage. Sure, she fantasized about other men, as Bill (self admittedly) did about some other women.

Her sins came about for that period of four years toward the end of her marriage, and there she was definitely wrong, a bitch, a slut, whatever you want to call her, culminating with Doug. No excuses can be found for her behavior then.

What sets her apart from being just a cheating slut is the mental torture she went through after Clarice’s death - she was still wrong for what she did, nothing can excuse that, but she was mentally just a tad unbalanced during all this, as her unjustified anger towards Bills attests.

Now, under Teller’s guidance, she is beginning to realize just how wrongly she acted. When she finally allows full reality to take root, that’s what I meant when I said in an earlier post, her rehabilitation may be complete. That doesn’t mean they’ll get back together but it means that, at least, they can be open, caring adults around each other and their children.

Now, the very last part of this chapter - one of the most powerful and spellbinding bits of brilliance I’ve ever read. It sounds awfully like her epiphany to me. She’s spent much time in analysis and self-analysis, denying things but, when she hears the gunfire she can no longer keep IT back. Whatever IT is precisely, we’ll have to wait and see - or some people, NOT - their choice.

So the "cliffhanger" is not really all of that "cliffhangerish" (HDK's word). If parts of Bill are now scattered across the floor of the F.O.P. headquarters, there is just not enough about Debbie to like for there to be any kind of a story left . If Bill is dead, the story is dead.

Assuming that Bill survives, it seems to me that DQS1 still has a lot of work to do to keep this story chugging along at about 150 to 200 comments a month/chapter. If after this "cliffhanger", the story falls back into the very familiar mode; where Bill and Debbie continue dance around each other and their history together, where we follow each of their separate personal relationships and escapades, where Bill tackles new and interesting cases involving any number of assorted "evil doers" and where Dr. Teller and Clint Abbot continue to re-enforce in Debbie's mind the conduct that made her the selfish, lonely and unlikeable person that she is, then IMHO, Jacksonville we have a problem.

Hopefully, this "cliffhanger" will change things up a bit and push the story along toward some sort of an enjoyable and entertaining conclusion. Even Tolkien finally ended "The Lord of the Rings" after three books, although it did take him several ages in Middle Earth time to do so. Well, maybe that wasn't a good comparison.

DQS1 is a pretty good author though and that is no joke. This story has been long and it has been great! But I wonder if it should last an age? Maybe it is time for DQS1 to start a new adventure.

Once again, another chapter in a captivating story. Definative characters, compeling plot, and a twnoone anticipates. Please don't make us wait another whole month before the next chapter. Incidentally, this would make a very good, commercially successful novel. I look forward to each new chapter, and reread the previous ones to stay updated. Thank you, Mr. Steele

Thank You.....Great Story

In rereading chapter 6A I gained a significantly greater appreciation of the chapter then from my first reading alone. From the reread I got the strong impression that Debbie does, at least at this point, love her ex. This was somewhat apparent in the previous chapter, but now Debbie is repeating in a sense what happened when she and Bill were students at the University of Florida at Gainesville. Recall that in 1985 Debbie kept going to Bill's room to take him out for a meal or a movie, or simply talking with him in his room. Now, she is doing a similar thing by keeping tabs on Bill AND visiting his office often for matters unrelated to her work with the Public Defender's Office.

The last, very short, section of chapter 6A concerns Debbie's having driven to the Police's Hall because she feared for his life. Maybe this action was influences partly by her having witnessed Bill with his beautiful girlfriend Aline: perhaps Debbie wants to see how Bill reacts to her after his affair with Aline.

Bill heard the first shot which as HDK states (probably) indicates he was not hit by it. But there could have been many shots fired all told given that there were 12 or 13 cops besides Bill in the meeting hall. There may even have been a massacre in which several cops including Shane Smith and/or Bill were killed or seriously injured.

But I suggest a second read of the last 2-3 pages of chapter 6A dealing with the meeting in the hall and Debbie's presence out front of the Police's Hall: before and when the first shot was fired and all hell broke loose.

Jerry in Washington state, USA - I look forward to each chapter because I care about Bill and his life / love / work / family challenges. I didn't foresee this ending to the Officer Smith dilemma, and - of course - I don't know exactly how the next chapter is going to complete the "Officer Smith conflict" scene. I assume one of the police officers from outside the building was able to shoot Smith before Bill is shot. Or, even if Bill is still shot, he'll recover from the shooting. I'm still not that interested in Debbie's "excuses for her own actions". I did read this chapter twice to try to be fair about "her story" but I just don't care. I very much look forward to the next chapter and see what happens next. I very much enjoy your story even if I don't totally agree with some of the scenes you have written.

I just re-read the beginning of the story. The night Bill discovers her shaved pussy and hears "when we were married" was in April 2005. That was written in May 2010. The story is now in September 2005! This story has taken 8 months to cover 4! It had been so long, I'd forgotten how directly she lied to him and blamed everything he was thinking to unfounded paranoia.

The new information about their college courtship is even weirder. She has massive tits. Treats him like a pet. Kisses him like a brother - like he's her gay buddy. I can't see how they ever progressed to be married and a healthy happy couple. He was her safe meal ticket and she was his walking wet dream. Not much of a relationship.

When will he pay for the mistake of screwing around with a married woman?

Or was he just punishing her husband for another man's sins?

Sorry, the character is not sympathetic to me. I actually enjoyed reading this chapter because he is suffering through most of it; I just hope things get worse for him. Sad that I feel that way, really, but hypocrites always do.

I enjoy the story but the characters don't seem to hold onto what is important to them.

Bill is the "do the right thing" person who risks his well being for a stranger (Debbie) and then has an affair with a friends wife. That is not a "do the right thing" sort of action. What happened to change him? Then the "do the right thing" man is going to try Smith because it is the right thing?

Debbie is difficult to understand because from the start she sleeps with several people and parties with people that would seem to have a criminal background. I find that the character that we see as Debbie is not believable as the love interest for the State's top attorney. How are we to believe that a "do the right thing" person would find the character of Debbie as a suitable mate? She is a self centered narcissistic slut that seems only capable of hurting her friends and lovers.

I believe that someone who is as "smart" and deliberate as the character of Bill would see right though someone as shallow as Debbie and in real life would never have married her. I guess that is why we call it fiction.

I keep thinking that you should consider a new career. You would be a huge success as a political speech writer. You have the ability to write a long time and yet say very little.

has any noticed 35-27-37-37.... this is the amount of time in days that it takes this writer to submit another part of his story. his submissions take this long--some writer. i go to the last page and see if it is the end and if it isn't i delete his story. it is always the same thing. nothing new. he sure needs some help.........

I believe that Dr. Teller's meetings with Debbie have paid off for her. She is now becoming free of the control her late Aunt Clarice had over her. Clarice had considered Bill just another cheating husband similar to her husband, Frank. At the time Debbie accepted Clarice's opinions without question.

We see in the extraordinary well written final (short) section of chapter 6A that it finally becomes much more apparent that Debbie does love Bill. Consider that just as in 1985 Flashback scenes, she's now making a fair number of visits to see Bill's on non-legal matters. In this final section of the chapter she hurries to the FOP Hall on Atlantic Blvd fearing for Bill's life. After the first shot was heard (I would assume there may have been additional shots fired) she imagines Bill in his coffin, she kisses him in the coffin and believes he is dead. But then Debbie reasons that he cannot be dead given that he told her (several times) that he'd always be back, like in the World War 2 song about a soldier writing to his wife or sweetheart that no matter what happened he would always come back, always be there for her). A romantic thought by someone who has been telling everyone for months that she no longer loved Bill.

Who got shot (if anyone) in the FOP Hall is something we should know when we start reading Chapter 6B. Perhaps Bill and Shane Smith were hit: Bill by Officer Smith and Smith by one of the other 11 or 12 police at the evening meeting (everyone in the hall carried a pistol). The public media reaction to this event could change the political picture in a more positive way for Attorney General Edwards in his bid for the Governorship of Florida. It could also significantly affect Bill's life.

DQS,

I thought all was going to be explainable in the end, but Debbie, even though she is intelligent, has had the morals of an alley cat since the beginning. At this stage in her life, she may understand herself better, but her actions show that she wants what she wants. She wants to be a slut and it really does not bother her. Her social outlook is all about casual sex, and nothing gets in the way of her attitude towards her loose interpretation of marriage vows, or the ease with which she picks new liasons, since she is now divorced. Her new guy, Clint, is thankful that she likes to fuck when she is depressed, when she feels good, and when she feels like it. Wait, that pretty much means that she just likes to fuck. He is more than willing to stroke her ego and prey on her misgivings as long as she shows up at any time of the night or day to get right down to it. Dr. Teller realizes that he has a lifelong client, until such point that he decides to put his pipe to better use. She still has the attitude that if it feels good, do it. Being married only slightly inhibited her flirtations, and limited her casual sex to barely controlled indescretions. She is way past the point of being able to change her basic personality makeup.

Bill was socially repressed, but many social misfits still manage to get laid occasionally. I can't believe he really put up with her shit during the courtship and ended up marrying her. It's a wonder he was as successful as he was professionally, saddled with a known fuck-around who was spotted more with others than with her own husband, and had no qualms about acting inappropriately or flaunting her openly lax moral fiber. I'm sure that his superiors would not have put much faith in someone who so blatantly couldn't handle his homelife, with handling an important legal and political position. Apparently none of Bill's so called friends and acquaintences had enough respect for Bill to let him know what was going on, and as obvious as Debbies actions were, how did Bill attain such a prestigious position? This is a mind boggling revelation and certainly does not fit with his apparent station and supposed esteem within the community.

Sorry, this chapter makes absolutely no sense.

OK, it waivers here and there, but all in all a good story. I check weekly for updates and that must mean something. Never thought they stood a chance, but I see a Bill and Debbie reunion in the future and that is OK. Sometimes true love withstands a lot of tests.

Keep up the good work!

Debbie is a hot broad that knows she looks good, likes attention and sex...and...a variety of partners. Blame her Aunt - sure, but she still likes it. As far as Bill is concerned, she is jealous and envious because he worked out, looks good, all the girls want him and he had a fling with a beautiful woman. Debbie is done, unless Bill is a Wimp?

Bill, he's bewildered, good at his job, probably covering his feelings of betrayal but very definitely in love with Aline and she with him, the only good thing that has happened to him.

All this extraneous filler and sub plots is nothing more than your ego insulting your readers to stroke your ego. Okay, so you're stringing everyone along and taking weeks to quench the thirst of those who follow you like a puppy dog. Having fun?

If this is your Hollywood movie script - send it there; otherwise, cut the crap and finish this excuse for a Loving Wife Story! Enough already - you've pushed it too far!

Doug is Romone's son, it was their conspiracy against Bill. Now Bill is dead so Doug will contact Debbie and they will marry each other. While on honeymoon Doug will bilndfold Debbie and Romone will fuck her shit out of her mouth with his Dinosaur cock. Debbie will know the thruth later and then they both will fuck her shit out from her eyes, nose, mouth, ears, asshole, and her hugh breasts.

Debbie will become their baby making machine; she will rise the population of jacksonville. Doug and Romone will become successful businessmen, they will have milk diary. Their cow, Debbie will always be pregnant and producing milk, soon they will get hugh orders from all over the world. Mother Debbie Diary will be world's biggest milk porducing diary. You read it first here, place your orders quickly.

Gary Cooper wont work. TOO TALL

Part of the fun of this is getting people to respond to your writing.

For that I think you are a success.

The dead zone between Debbie and Bill reminds me of the line in, "From here to Eternity", where the wife says to her husband," I look at you and see row after row of chairs".

She's just got to the tipping point and doesn't feel anything for him. Then promptly goes off and cheats with Burt.( to para phrase). IF Debbie doesn't have a reason to cheat, then my friends, there is no reason for a story.

Seeing as we have a story then let DQS tell it.

That you are an undeniable writing talent whose skill is in creating soaps. This baby just keeps circling the landing field, but, unfortunately,the spirals are increasing in altitute, away from any plausable good landing. Looks like this baby is just going to run out of gas and crash. Although, it does seem to carry more gas than most planes.

I continue to enjoy this saga. Loved the Calvin Coolidge reference. Brilliant. Fun flashback, which allowed me to feel like a naughty voyeur. Again/Also brilliant.

i luv the story but hate the pace at which it is written......

at this rate we'll grow upto be old men by the time DQS finishes the series....

....... To a rapidly posted new installment of this series. I like what you do from a readers standpoint. I'll let you do the writing, I'll just enjoy the reading.

Please continue your efforts and know that they are appreciated around the world...

I absolutely love this story!!! Keep up the good work, cant wait for the next segment!

6B For several months the head lines were about "Eleven police held in the murder of a Public Defender"

Austin Eawards stands in front of the judge saying

"Your Honor and members of the jury, I will prove that these eleven men were in the plot to kill Bill Maitland, that they planed the meeting and also let Smith know so he would come and kill Mr. Maitland. Maybe only one or two of them did it, Phil Howser and one other but because of their Blue code of silance they must all be charged in the murder."

The jury comes back in after five hours, finding all eleven guilty, "Ten years to life to all!"

Head lines "Fob Preisdent Phil Howser and Lt. Martin, were found this morning dead, their heads cut off and on their table with a note "NINE TO GO!"

Debbie never marries.

Why are people bashing her for messing with basketball guy when they were not going out and not bashing him for getting some on the boat?

I also noticed that she has felt that she was in the right to cheat little remorse.

I don't like debbie she was supose to fight for the marriage. some where in the story a person said she should have done everything in her power to get through the thick skull of his like fuck him then drag his ass to the gym. beeing married as long as they were she should know men are thick headed and it takes a while for us to get it we don't get hints period get over it. when women think they tell us something we don't hear it if it is not plainly said.

Second Question what would bill have done if she told him she wanted a divorce?

what would he have done I bet he would have heard her then and I bet to keep his family in tact he would have quit his job, and the best thing she would have been right and even his mother would have been on her side and the kids would still be home with there mother and the father would have had a lot to explain. Now all of you who have defended her action tell me that I am wrong to think this way

he should have hypnotized Debbie and made her his sex slave. he could have fucked her anyway he wanted.

I don't understand why you are taking so much flack from this posting. I work in the public arena and I can tell you without hesitation that there are truly people as fucked up as Bill and Debbie and still marry, have children, divorce and go on with their lives. Love is an odd thing and does cause guys like Bill to marry sluts like Debbie. Of course that's a two way street. You hear every day about couples getting married and the guy can't keep it in his pants, but all you ever hear is, "Well, he's a guy, and guys are suppose to be horny." With that said, I thought the story was well crafted. I'm glad to finally see some background on the two from times when they met. Every author hear does it, but most start a story with an opening paragraph, and then launch in to a long winded explanation on how they met. At least you let us get in to the story and get to know the characters first. On top of that you wove it in to the story well. Bits and pieces just like real reflections, instead of all at once. I personally liked that. I'm disappointed in HDK. Yes in allot of cases you main characters should be bigger than life, but it doesn't work in this case. I like the fact that they are just ordinary people, living ordinary lives, with ordinary jobs, and average kids, and finding them selves in the same boat as ordinary folks. You just keep up the good work and keep progressing the story in your own way and time frame, and I'll remain a happy camper.

.................Debbie being fucked by a black guy and DQS1, didn't fail to do that. Debbie was, is, will always be the slut, whore spreading her legs for big cocks, no matter who the owner is. The whole story of their college days were nothing but waste of time, what was the point? we know how much of a cock hungry Debbie is. Nothing new, just few bits were interesting.

After reading this it is clear that Mr. Bill deserves everything that has happened to him. He knowingly married the campus whore. And yes, she was a whore, she used her body for gain. It did not matter what race the dick was attached to. Her reputation on campus would have been lower than whale shit. And Mr. Bill still thought a skank was too good for him? It was sad when we found out that he had not removed his wedding ring months after the divorce. It is even sadder that he thinks her looks and tits are what she is made of. The stupid bastard still gets a hard-on when she is around, and he thinks that means he is getting over her? I am surprised that he can walk and think at the same time. This is the same as the other stories from this author up to this point. I don't know where it is going, but the characters are getting more stupid by the page. What we know about Mr. Bill now goes against him being a success at what he does. You can't be that successful and that stupid at the same time. Next Debbie will hold a gun to his head and tell him he has to marry her again. Mr. Bill should have stayed in his dorm room and slammed a door closed on his dick repeatedly, maybe that would have given him some common sense.

I have to confess I quit reading a chapter ago, I simply lost interest. However, a friend of mine said you have to read the latest. It is crunch time. Maybe so, maybe not. However I'm very surprised no one has commented on the last several paragraphs. <P>

I don't pretend to understand it all, however I think it is some outstanding writing. Very powerful to say the least. Evidently by Bill's own words he is shot and his last thoughts are of Debbie and better times (Does that remind you somewhat of”The Last Goodbye"?) <P>

One sentence that blew me away: "She knew he would look at her and he'd KNOW." <P>

Think about it and all the conflict that is running through her mind in all the subsequent sentences. <P>

Well played my friend,

JennyBear

This is my favorite cuckold story now. Thanx and many creampie.

I wish there was another category "Cuckold" so that i dont have read all the loving wive stories to find one like this, which is my fav, tense-cuck-old story, you are my no 2 after Matt Moreau, keep doing and you will be best, you still need some skills to express true cuckold.

Bill deserves whatever happened to him, and I wish Shawn Smith took his best shot, maybe he will end Bill's long story.

The example of the best of DQS's, and, off the records, probably the best of most any American writers of the last 100 years, can be read in the last pages of this chapter. The very last section where Debbie has "visions" represents ex-ordinary, romantic text, in my view. Readers have reacted in different ways in their interpretations of the meaning of Debbie's "visions." I see them as representing a renewed Debbie, changed and freed from the hold that Aunt Clarice had on her as a result of the treatment she has received from Dr. Teller. She is no longer affected by what Aunt Clarice believed about men including Bill. Her ex has now replaced Aunt Clarice in Debbie's mind. Bill's view and what she remember of him from their early days as a married couple now controls her thinking. Recall that in the last couple of paragraphs of the story her visions were that Bill could not die; he said that he would always be there for me whatever happened. Bill has replaced Clarice. Love has replaced the anger Debbie had toward Bill. She has recently shown this in the numerous trips she takes to visit Bill at his office: this a habit she displayed when she often visiting Bill at his room at the University of Florida in 1985 in order to be with him. I don't think it's mainly Bill's now being good physical shape or that he can now attract women as beautiful as Debbie herself.

It has never been about romance or love. It is about a pathetic little man who has always thought that a whore was above him. A dumb ass who can't form a thought when he sees a set of tits, any tits. A man who fucks a friends wife, and thinks he is in love with her too. Debbie has always been a shitty person, a shitty girlfriend, a shitty wife and a shitty mother. She has a well deserved reputation. If I read correctly she had been fucking the black man for years. In the year 1985 and in the state of Florida she would have been called a nigger loving whore. She only added to that reputation. Mr. Bills mother learned of that reputation rather quickly didn't she? She had the lowlife trash banned from his room. She also warned him that the trash would be his downfall. Mr. Bill couldn't see passed her tits. Debbie was and is a user and a manipulator. She always knew that she could get what she wanted with a flash of her tits or a piece of pussy. She liked fucking them all, she said that. No half assed head doctor is ever going to fix Debbie, she has never cared about anyone but herself. She HAS NOT changed. Some people seem to think this is romantic, it's not, it's just pathetic. Someone said that the writer was changing the story to fit his agenda and he is. It was never stated before that she tried to get Mr. Bill to go to the gym or improve himself. It is a device to make him look bad and to make her look better. As Harry always says.... the recon train is pulling into the station.

However, I notice in this chapter the rebirth of the old Debbie who married Bill back in the late 1980's. This rebirth could most likely have resulted from her sessions with Dr. Teller, who uncovered her problem and helped Debbie understand it: that she had accepted as the absolute truth the views of her Aunt Clarice about men, including Bill. In addition, Debbie now understands what Bill really was to her - a loving husband whom she highly respected and wanted to grow old with.

In the last section of this Chapter Debbie has positive "visions" of Bill, his saying to her that he would never leave her - that he'd always be there for her. Maybe that is what Debbie met when she said 'Bill would look at her and he would know' - that she had changed, that she (again) loved and respected him as she had during the early years of their marriage.

Finally, the last statement in the chapter reads, "Then she was racing across the damp grass, kicking off her shoes in an instant, running as the hot tears of a young girl streamed down her cheeks." Here DQS writes 'as hot tears of a YOUNG GIRL streamed down her cheeks'. I think that DQS is referring to the fact that Debbie's thoughts, her visions were (again) those of the YOUNGER Debbie, the girl that Bill had married 20 years earlier.

...you've got it, in spades!

You'll understand why I said in my earlier comment about the final sentence "it sounds awful like an epiphany to me".

You are one of the few really perceptive reviewers and I enjoy your comments.

It's so good to see that someone else can get past the "slut, bitch, whore" crap after DQS1 has damn near spelled it out.

...you've GOT it!

My earlier comment -

"Now, the very last part of this chapter - one of the most powerful and spellbinding bits of brilliance I’ve ever read. It sounds awfully like her epiphany to me"

- is pretty close to your excellent summation.

It's a shame that some other people can't read between the lines and understand exactly what happened.

I've always liked your comments and admire your perception.

...I didn't think my first comment had 'taken' so submitted another.

"Why, why, why the fuck had she taken Doug into my bed. I could see her in my mind's eyes screaming in pleasure as he rammed his cock into her, because she'd done it when I fucked her. And I knew I'd never get that image out of my head which meant there'd never be a tomorrow for us.

Only yesterday."

In light of what Bill continues to think, Debbie can have all of the visions or "changes of heart" or epiphanies she wants, there is always, chapter after chapter: the "Doug in his bed" factor, the "Debbie and Doug moaning so loud throughout the house that both kids wanted to get the hell out" factor, the "Debbie who wanted nothing more than to hurt Bill" factor and yes, the "Debbie is the most unsympathetic and unlikeable character ever portrayed in modern literature" factor.

A lot of work remains for DQS1 to bridge the empty space between Bill and Debbie. It wouldn't be a surprize if, when Bill survives this cliff hanger, he gets a few more chapters to focus on prosecuting bunches of more bad guys, and Debbie gets to learn more about herself with Dr. Teller. Who knows, she may even get to take a run at Atty. Leary. And Bill and Debbie may keep dancing around each other.

Anyway, I'm still looking forward to see how DQS1 writes the next chapter, and the chapter after that and the chapter after that....

And as for where the recon. train is, there is no taking sides on that issue any more. I guess I will have to go with what DQS1 thinks. In the end, his opinion is the only one that is going to matter.

are you, in any way related to size14shoe? you sound like him, really. debbie was a bitch, whore, skank, slut and she will continue to be one.

could you please get that we read and understood the epiphany too, however, we also remember (unlike you apparently?) that she wasn't a likable character in 1985, so even IF she reverts from the new slut to the old slut - you guessed it (or did you?) - she's STILL a slut...

Now, get over yourselves and stop kissing DQS' ass already, it's getting a little pathetic

You are letting your romantic view cloud what was actually written. It was stated that he would look into her eyes and misunderstand. It was stated plainly that she did not love him anymore. Debbie never really respected Mr. Bill. She has done other things in their marriage besides fuck Doug that shows that. As the diseased girl told him, he was like a pet, the safe one. She married the safe one. Women like Debbie do not have epiphanies, they slowly change if at all. She was crying because she still cared, that does not mean she loves him. Read it again. There is still a fifty percent chance that the romance you want so badly will happen though. And there is the chance that the writer will write something realistic and break from his normal pattern.

... I would never have thought that I could ever find much to like about Debbie and I certainly don't like the way she acted over the last 4 years of her marriage, culminating with Doug. She was definitely a skank, a slut, a cheating whore, etc., during that period.

It's just that I really did read the flashbacks and understood something fundamental about what DQS1 was trying to do. She wasn't a slut at college, anymore than thousands of others. Bill 'cheated' on her first after they established their friendship. She really was faithful when in a committed relationship.

Also, just because she has an epiphany doesn't make it automatic that they'll get back together, and I did say that. I just like her more now whereas throughout the story I've not liked her.

I always would have preferred Bill to end up with Aline, or someone else, but I'm trying to get to grips with that last part of the story, where both Bill and Debbie exhibit similar and converging mental processes about what went wrong and reveal what they truly think.

If people want to think I'm toadying to DQS1 then so be it, but I know I'm not. I comment for me and my perceptions and Bartolo has simply come to the same, or a similar, conclusion as I have. It was so unusual to see that and that's why I got excited about his comments. I never thought it would 'insult' someone with a different viewpoint, so I apologize if anyone got that impression.

I don't believe I've disparaged anyone else's comments or compared anyone else to anyone else. People who do that need to be more introspective about why they feel the need to insult others for their differing views.

I'm neither a TTB or RAAC guy, preferring to take each story as it comes.

TBH I'm still undecided about this one.

From his comment: "It was stated that he would look into her eyes and misunderstand. It was stated plainly that she did not love him anymore."

Although I do agree that Debbie has come upon some "change" or progression in her feelings as discussed on this last page, I read the "misunderstand" statement the same way as RHinSC. But it didn't seem to fit with what was written the rest of the way. I supposed that I had mis-interpreted the "misunderstand" passage.

Hey, DQS1, straigten this out for us.

It's difficult to effectively judge Debbie based solely upon her behavior, as a slut. Some people think it's simple, you just say Debbie was, is and will always be a slut. But humans are complex - better stated the human brain is complex. Debbie is many things and among these she's intelligent, can be/has been faithful to Bill from the time they decided to be serious about their relationship (1985, Gaines, FL) under circa 2000 (the last 5 years of their marriage), and I think that in these 5 years she disrespected and almost ruined her husband: an important, essential part of society. In this time frame she also was a poor mother and instructor of students at the University of North Florida. However, also during the period 2000-2005 Debbie was under the SPELL of someone she greatly admired and believed knew all (Aunt Clarice).

Debbie was a teenage slut prior to meeting Bill so this period of her life does not count in her relationship with Bill. She was a slut who cheated on and disrespected her hard working husband during the last five years of their marriage. During those years one could classify her as the ULTIMATE SLUT. In summary, Debbie has a record of being a loving, respectful wife to Bill for ~ 14/15 of their 19/20 year marriage.

The last segment of Chapter 6A is masterfully written. Debbie's out front of the FOP Hall on Atlantic Blvd. She has been in therapy under the supervision of Dr. Teller, M.D. and is now beginning to understand the source of her extreme anger towards Bill. She's in panic mode when the first shot is heard and she's having 'visions' which reveal how she really feels about her ex. She runs toward the FOP Hall 'as the hot tears of a young girl stream down her cheeks.'

Having read this portion of the story several times, and having read the other portion of this story, I find it interesting that people internalize the characters so much. Is Debbie short on ethics, Yep! Can you see how she arrived at this and her world view? Yep! Same with the "hero" in this story. Failed in many respects and redeeming values in others.

What surprises me is everyone knows this story is not finished yet, and yet everyone wants to jump in reach conclusions based on a partly completed story as if the story were finished or they had control over how it will end.

DQS, There are more than a few criticisms I could level, but frankly the strengths of this story and how you have woven it far out weigh my niggling comments. I look forward to you posting the remainder of this story before I retire.

I'm very "curious" to know, you said "Bill cheated on Debbie with Amy." How so? They were just friends, Bill had feelings for her but never expressed it, Debbie liked only his company coz he made her laugh, he was different from other guys she dated, fucked, etc. Were they both boyfriend-girlfriend? NO. Were they both in love with each other? As per the story, till the part with Amy and where Bill confesses his love? NO. Where they "commited" to each other? NO NO NO. Then how Bill cheated on Debbie? There was no fucking commitment between them...In fact she slept with god knows how many guys while they were "hanging" with each other.

You went on a date with aunt Clarice's ghost or something? Or size14shoe gave you a visit?

Looking forward to the next chapter but 06A was the first one I did not rate a 5. I rated this chapter a 4. The flashback at this point threw the tempo of the story off and it was too long of a flashback. I think you should cut the flashback in half and put it into the first chapter shortly before Bill notices Debbie's telling comment that begins the actual end of their marriage. This will give a little more insight to the crash and burn of their marriage in the beginning. I am already looking forward to the next story and characters you create!

...I meant that Debbie had already given up dating other guys (a fact Bill may not have been aware of, it's true) when he shagged Amy as Debbie was trying to get together with him, but she wanted him to make the first move. They weren't a committed couple but, in her mind, they should have been and it devastated her when he went after the slut who wanted to shove it in her face. She had been monogamous when in a committed relationship and (from the story) she wanted to be with Bill exclusively, but he was too inclined to think she was out of his league, so he gave vent to his own base nature and fucked Amy, when all the time Debbie wanted to be with him.

That's what I meant by him 'cheating' on her. He wasn't really cheating but he made her feel bad first - I think that's an adequate summation, with which you are obviously free to disagree.

I just don't think she was a slut - just someone who loved sex and who went with the 'Owen' guy to scratch an itch, because she thought Bill would never come through.

That's why I think the flashback was so important to their story.

Anyone else who thinks I'm first cousin to 'Size14', etc., is free to think what they want. After all, it's a free comment board.

curiousssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

..................now that Bill is in serious danger of being shot, even killed? Her now becoming free of the influence of Aunt Clarice could be a factor..... but if that's not the reason, then what else could tripper the visions? Why do her visions usually paint Bill in a good light, not a negative one? There is also the possibility that Debbie has just been telling people she no longer "loves" bill because she still has some of her anger for him surfacing when she hears the word "love."

So many questions and possibilities. Add to the list Debbie's hiring a detective to follow Aline? I doubt think Debbie feels that, if divorced, Aline, would not be adequate marriage material for Bill. Additionally, why is Debbie telling people that she doesn't want Bill anymore, yet she also doesn't want him to pursue other attract women either? I would doubt she doesn't want Bill to love again. Finally, why did Doug mention so emphatically several time in the story something to the effect that 'why did I get involved with a women like you who still loves her husband'?

Love could be regarded as the accumulative joy of having been with ones mate, have children with him or her, take a cruise to far away seas and/or quite simply be involved in everyday activities such as watching the nightly news together on TV. Conversely how did Debbie fall out of love with Bill? I agree with Doug that there are issues with the four letter word "love."

MissouriUSA, I agree with you about the use of the word "misunderstand" used by DQS near the end of the chapter.

...... how a "woman" who spread her legs as much as Debbie did during the "non protection" time of the 90's managed not to catch HIV or HEP C? Seems a "lady" like her would most likely be "dead" by now! Just curious how you ( DanielQSteele1 ) explained her "lotto" luck. Ed McMahon must have shown up at her door more than once I guess!

While we read the chapters of this story, we often forget that some of the great writers in the history of the English language wrote their novels in chapters to encourage the readers to buy the next week's edition.

Unfortunately for us who enjoy your writing, you are not obligated to a weekly requirement. Imagine that, you do have a life to live and an income to maintain an output. I believe this story would progress faster.

Your story is exceptional and I look forward to the next chapter. Despite the lack of remuneration, I hope you can continue with your story. I look forward to the end and to the opportunity to read it as a whole as I have done with many of Dickens works.

...my enjoyment of your comment stopped after "Adequate explanation curioussss" but that's OK - I'm there to be shot at so fire away.

I wish people would understand that I'm not trying to make Debbie a saint and I deplore her actions toward the break-up of her marriage. It's just that I see something beyond her perceived persona in those flashbacks.

However, I've got broad shoulders and can stand the flack.

You have the right to your opinion and so be it - now I'm done with the comments on 6A - I can't explain any more but I go with my gut feeling.

Best wishes to those who disagree with me.

Wimp_hater is no one else but a wimp called terrydavid. Curiousss is a good guy so he won't reply in a "good" way, allow me. Wimp_hater, wimp coz he is a wimp, his wife is a slut of the whole town that likes to pull a train and all his kids are not his, munching on cocks is his favorite hobby, suits him, WIMP. As for hater? he hates all guys with bigger, better cocks, now he will hate me as well. He can't do anything so he takes out his frustation on other readers. Sad, you have my sympathy, pal.

I found it interesting the this story ended the way it did. I've been reading stories on this site for years and have a few favorite authors. I was captivated by this story and when I got to the end I was alittle disappointed. The way I way I saw it ending was Bill and Deb getting back together after alot of talking of course, since they still had feeling for each other. I know you left the story open for the reader to come to their own conclusion, but I feel that sometimes it's better for the author to finish the story for us. Just my personal observation. Anyway, I loved the story and maybe you could add a conclusion to it.

Have a great day!

OK TIME FOR UPDATE? OR STILL SOME DAYS, WEEKS TO GO?

I don't think so, the last three words of Authors note "the latest chapter". Must be more, right???

Can't really say enough about the tale you've woven for yourself and are now unwinding for us. It's unlike most, if really not almost all stories I've read on this site in the sense that you have been able to show us insight into SO MANY of the individual characters mindsets, not just one or maybe two. You've developed so many characters and shown us thought processes, overall personalities, even their different senses of humor. You seem to have an excellent grip on basic human nature, and are very good with the written word.

You have made some readers play favorites along the way or pick the villain very early by starting the story at the point in which you did. It's even a little fun watching all the comments fly around about one character specifically or some others. I can't say I have an ending that I prefer, but am enjoying this idea of yours more and more, and will miss it when it is finished. (if that day ever comes)

Sorry, had to do that, so much of my note looks like ass kissing.

Thanks for the time that is involved

Dan

With Debbie running in, now Bill can KNOW, can REALLY KNOW that she still loves him...even though she says it isn't true.

But is that enough? As one commenter mentioned, there is always the "Doug Factor". Forget the 'moaning in bed, playing hide the salami with a very big penised man'. That is a sideshow. It's the 'I emasculated you publically and have had months of criminals, cops, and academics making jokes about you...and I still insult you (willingly or not) every time I meet you".

Now, men have gone along and accepted this before. Will this man? SHOULD this man? I like Bill. Her...not so much.

I'm also seeing this druglord thing coming to Bill. Sigh. How many more months to put THAT in here? We already have a full plate.

Lastly: Bill has a super recorder. Bill has a Glock. Don't you think Bill might also have a bullet proof vest?

if you are reading this, please update soooooon.

One of the 11 other cops will have shot and taken down shawn smith. Bill escapes unharmed. He is surprised to see Debbie and looks "into her soul". He realizes what he could have lost. He gets out of being a prosecutor and goes into private practice.

Debbie realizes that her visions are caused by her insecurities as she grows older and her identifying herself with Clarice. She realizes Bill would have loved her forever.

However, because of what has happened, they cannot get back together, but they regain the care and respect they had for each other.

They look forward to meeting others who they can share their lives with.

The END. (Finally)

Django Starr

you nailed it, I too think that's what going to happen.

...it may be cathartic for Bill, if he and Debbie get back together and they go for a vacation in France, say Menton, Paris or St. Tropez, and they happen to meet Philippe and Aline, either by chance or design.

How would Bill and Aline act when left alone for a short time - that would be a fascinating little 'fly on the wall' scene. I don't believe, as written, that the two of them could entirely hide their passion for each other, no matter what their common sense would or should dictate.

The unique thing about this story is that no stone has been left unturned (or should it be that no turn has been left unstoned!) and I see so many potential vignettes in so many sub-plots that I can begin to understand just why the author has written this tome the way he has. "War and Peace" move over baby!

All those who see this story as being too long, I feel, miss the point to a degree - it really is 'their story' and it almost can't be too long. Yes I would love to know the ending but will actually be quite sad when it comes. I suppose that's the definition of a good 'soap' but this is way more than that "Days of our Wives" or whatever other garbage there is around.

Like the rest of you I eagerly await 6B.

Aline and Bill get together in J'ville and Debbie and Phillip get together too (a match made in...somewhere).

Can't wait for the rest of the story, though, obviously, Bill won't die. It's labeled Chapter 6a, after all, not Chapter 6d.

It's a bit long (tho so was As The World Turns) and could have been tightened up. Though, as Blaise Pascal is reputedly to have said, "sorry for the long letter, I didn't have time to write a short one."

B2

I wonder if DQS1 will post the nxt chapter in this month or next month. I also wonder what he feels when he reads comments like UPDATES?? WHEN IS NEXT CHAPTER COMING OUT?? NEXT? lol, we are just a bunch of eager readers, that's it.

PEOPLE MAKE COMMENTS ALL THE TIME. SOME PRO SOME CON SOME INDIFFERENT OR INSULTING. DSQ IS PENNING A STORY THAT HAS ALTENATE ENDINGS AND CHOICES. THIS STORY HAS AN EPIC PROPORTION OF CASTS, CHARACTERS AND LIFE STYLES. THIS AND ANY INTERESTING STORY, SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO RUN ITS COURSE AS DESIGNED BY THE AUTHOR AND HIM ONLY. THOSE WHO REQUIRE AND NEED A QUICK FIX, SHOULD WAIT FOR THE PASSING OF TIME AND READ THE RESULTS IN THE ARCHIVES. TK U MLJ LV NV tazz317

I love this story have read all the chapters many times and cant wait to see where it will lead to next

It just goes on and on..even God creaed the world in l less time it takes to read this.

Bill was going to eat lunch, the suddenly a thought occured to him, he had not been to toilet, he ran to toilet, to load some shit, then returned and then he sat to get his foood, then his phone rang.

"Dad mom is dying"

"What keep workig i am moving"

All the thoughts of her dying brought the love he had for her, then he though of those big boobs and went to toilet to release the load. when he come back, he remembered her again, Debbie, how she always used to tell him, to wash hands before eating food. Then rush to bathroom. He will now remember Debbie as sweet loving Wife, who sacrified her life foe her family and her pussy. A tear come to his eyes. he imagined her picture, the remember those big boobs, wow, he again ran to bathroom.

blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...

blah...blah...blah...blah...

blah...blah...blah...blah...

blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...

blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...

And then another cuckold story ended. thanx for being her for me. friends.

Thanks anon for the ending, though in broken English, it was funny as hell.

Any chance of an update? Thank you.

Bill will survive to complete the story :P

and no words from the writer, the clifhanger was well used that makes the wait for next chapter more torturous. Hope we get to read it soon.

Ok.....very good story! Please end it one way or another. This once a month shit doesn't work so well as your readers have to reread the previous chapter to remember what the hecks going on. Thanks.

Tim C.

Dqs1, I Just wanted to say that your writing is topnotch. Keep it that way. While others are impatient with how slowly the story progresses, they need to understand that rushed chapters are much worse than simply waiting for you to finish. That being said, please do your best in getting the next chapter out. It's just simply evil the cliffhanger you left us at.

DQS, I have enjoyed this story since its infancy. However I am losing interest, due to the long waits between chapters. Previously I would check every day for a new chapter. Now I check once in a while ( every weeks or so ). Soon I will simply stop checking. If I happen to come across a new submission, I may or may not read it becasue I am starting to lose the continuity becasue of the long droughts.

I do understand this is a piece of art and as such takes time and effort. You need to understand that the viewing public will lose interest no matter how good it was /is / will be.

I am not so arrogant as to tell you how, when and what to write. But I am enough of a student of human nature to know that you are losing your audience.

Sincerely

Will

Whether thinking of Nick Scipio, DQS, dstar and Velvet Wood (Pele's Playground), or any number of other authors who write serials and post while in progress, it's incredibly difficult for authors to maintain momentum.

Both reading and writing these serials online is a passion-driven volunteer effort. When passion wanes or real life interferes (the latter can affect the former), publication pace slows, readers feel "cheated" and authors are frustrated at themselves and at "ungrateful" readers who complain.

I understand better than ever the restriction some story site's search algorithyms have to find "only completed stories" or filter out "incomplete and inactive" stories. Is the breathless anticipation of the next installment worth the frustration of waiting...longer...and...longer...and even running the risk of the author abandoning the series? Hmmm....

there should be some kind of rule, only finished stories should be allowed to publish on literotica. there are numorous stories which are still incomplete and like orphans waiting for someone to adopt them. real life do interfere, but if this rule is aplicable, writers will put more efforts, go an extra mile, finish their story as and when they find the time and post it. waiting for next chapter for a whole month is just not happening, think from reader's prespective.

As long as it is cuckold story i am loving it, you are my fav wimpy writer, dont listen to anyone, they dont know what's cuckolding means

way to go

Since we haven't gotten another chapter, I guess Bill can't finish the story since he is dead. I'll do it for him. Bill goes to hell because he violated his deeply held principles by having an affair with a married woman and not regretting his sins. He is rejoined with Debbie and goes through eternity watching her try without success to find a dick that will satisfy her. The End

that's the reason there's no more story.

THE END

There are two kinds of people. People that can read a serial story and enjoy the anticipation of waiting for the next installment. And then there are people that get aggravated waiting. I have a tip for the second type. When you see a story ending in "Ch. 1" that means it is a serial and you are going to have to do some waiting. When it ends with "Ch. 01" as with this story, that implies at least ten chapters, lots and lots of waiting.

Author's note from the end of Chapter 1:

"There's obviously going to be a Chapter Two and Possibly Three. I know some people don't like the longer stories, but that's the way this one played out."

Wow!

I keep wondering if Aline is going to hear about Bill being shot and then flee to America to take care of him.

He doesn't have a wife now after all. That could complicate things, as if they needed further complication.

Great story though, keep it up.

Anyone wanna bet?

i dont think he is dead or even shot, he is anticipating being shot and she is having thoughts, "visions" if you will, of him being shot but it has not happened!!

................and come on folks 5 more comments to go for 200 comments, maybe then DQS1 will upload the next one.

This is a story that got so descriptive that it lost its interest factor, sometimes to much can loose its way and become uninteresting. R.T.

I hope another chapter or two will soon be submitted to tie up the loose ends.

A GOOD/BAD THING ABOUT LONG DRUG OUT STORIES, IS THAT, PROS AND CONS HAVE LOTS OF TIME TO DECIPHER ALL ASPECTS OF SAID STORY. WHETHER THE STORY IS GOOD/BAD/SO-SO OR WHATEVER, IT IS WIDE OPEN FOR ANY INTERPATATION. DQS IS A GOOD WRITER, MOST OF HIS STORIES HAVE LEFT OPEN ALTERNATIVES AND HITCHCOCK TYPE PLOTS. MLJ LV NV

come out, come out wherever you are.....Oh DQS1, Where Art Thou?

If not, where was Bill when his best friend Lew needed him while he was in deep shit? I think next chapter will be last of this series.

Way to go commenters! The next chapter shoud be here soon!!

Everybody knows that this is excllent writing. This story has inspired several other writers on this site to up their efforts and write better more detailed stories. You definitely have had an influence. I look forward to your next installment. I figure that you're about halfway now, using some of your opening statements explaining your goals.

Thank you for your efforts, they are much appreciated.

I had to reread 6A in anticipation of your newest post. Now I am stuttering whenever I think about what is happening. A little professional editing and this story is ready to go to print. Do not stop now, or several readers would try to hunt you down and you would be in the same situation as Bill. Very well done. Bravo!!!!

Karnut