All Comments on 'When We Were Married Ch. 06A'

This has been an unputdownable read.

and

worser

deliberate misuse of the language.

deliberate extension of the manipulation of the situation.

deliberate construct of an unlikely environment.

deliberate

mess

no matter what you shock us with in this sterile environment, the shipboard environs will not extract her from the real world.

btw, do you even remember what the characters thought, dreamt, or hoped for, at the outset of this story?

nothing at this point even remotely resembles the people we started with at the beginning of this saga.

woulda

coulda

shoulda

but didn't

White girl who fuck black guys just for sex are Sluts. once a slut always a slut. cheating is inevitable. i should've shot her when she come to see you after spending the night with owen the coal if i were you.

I guess you don't intend Bill and Aline to get together. Too bad as I think there was real love there. I think she knew it too. To bad he didn't just ask

I think he's being to hard on himself about not "findonmg time" for the workouts while he was married. Was he too "married" to his job? Probably. But even now, most of his workouts take place late at night, because he really has nothing to go home to. How would Debbie have reacted if,instead of coming home when he did, he came home even later so he could go to the gym and work out?

"He's got a 50/50 chance of walking away, but not many people would risk their life on those odds." - Except that if he kills the prosecutor that's trying to send him away, he's got close to ZERO chance of walking away!

"Only because you never cared enough to check up on me. You never cared enough to wonder where I was all those nights." - So now he's being blamed for trusting and believing her!

"You think I know all about it? You think I'm one of the ones that winds up sucking and being fucked. Asshole." - She's pissed at him, conveniently forgetting CC missing her "face" and "Ramone"!

"I wish you had gone swimming with me. We would have had fun." - AGAIN, blaming him! He shook his head no, that he didn't want her to go, but she went anyway, what did she expect him to think, and why in the world would she have expected him to join them?

"We're done, Mom. No need for more warnings." - They should have been done!

"It doesn't matter though because we'll never be together if you don't grow a set of balls." - It makes it hard to grow a set when you try to tell her NOT to go skinny-dipping and she goes anyway!

"Once you get past the pain you are currently in, I know you will find one." - He DID find one,unfortunately she was already taken!

"She decided she'd have to keep her eyes open and possibly have an informal chat with both Leary and Nettles" - It's nice that she's finally developed a sense of marital propriety.

"Why in the fuck didn't all men come with a one-size dick" - I'm sure I'm repeating myself here, but for someone so frustrated by guys' fixation on dick size, she's constantly judging women, including HERSELF, by their breast size!

"I've got a throwdown that can't be traced back to us." - Gee, he has a throwdown? He NEVER uses throwdowns, right?

I had thought of his argument, that why would he use a throwdown when he has his own gun!

I felt SURE that Debbie was going to in and shoot Shawn!

"I could see that. How long did it take that bitch to get your cock out? Thirty seconds? You must have given her a real tussle."

Yeah, just about as long as it took you to strip naked and go skinny dipping with Ramone!

Nit-pick - "Written in their blood on the walls of his home were words in Mexican" - The is no "Mexican", it is Spanish!

"the black community is not going to let you railroad a good police officer into prison,' - He means a good "black" police officer! They wouldn't give a shit if he was white, and as has been said, if he was white and the victims black, they'd be calling for his head!

"I don't want to have to live with myself if anything happens to them." - I'd tell him. "Don't worry, if anything happens to them you won't have to live yourself!"

"You told me you weren't cheating and I believed you" - Huh? She DIDN'T believe him! Aunt Clarice poisoned her mind about that!

"He caught me by surprise, Phil. I never expected him to show up here." - It NEVER occurred to them that Smith might have heard about the meeting and would show up? I realize we wouldn't have the dramatic showdown, but they should have two guards watching for him. And didn't Debbie know what he looked like and see him going in?

Bill has been conditioned to do the right thing. Shawn Smith, may be a highly decorated police officer. But he is also a cowardly murderer, not fit to carry a badge. He brings down the many good police officers around him, forcing them to make the hardest decision of their careers.

It's kinda surprising, given that he sorta expected Smith to show up, that Bill didn't at least try to get a confession outta him about the 3rd Roper shooting. How hard would have been for him to just go:

"Before you kill me, Shaw, could you just tell me whether or not you shot Artie Roper knowing full well he wasn't armed or a threat to you? Sure, you still shout in the back, but was it out of fear... or out of anger? Did you set up the scene, with the throwdown piece, as I suspected, or did he really have a weapon with him, as you claimed? Just wanted to make sure I'm dying for the right reasons, 'is all..."

In the state he seemed to be in, I'm pretty sure Smith would have told him everything that was in his dark heart. 'Would have made the whole recording thing oh so much more glorious.

Anyway, on to the crying, hysterical ex, realizing how much she cannot live without her man, on his deathbed...

After reading the description of their college days, I wonder how he could possibly feel differently?

First time tackling this monster and first comment.

Great writing! I can't put it down!

I will say that I can't generate any real sympathy for Debbie.

She is just a cock whore that lets her crotch monster rule her life.

She is so disgusting that she brought a man into her husband's bed and around her children just to fuck her.

She is a seriously grotesque slut! Even after everything, she can't stop getting some cock, almost any will do, and she still lusts after tons of men and I just don't see any real viable attractiveness about her.

Looks are a non virtue and that seems to be the only attraction. Maybe if she could keep her damned legs closed for a while, she could redeem herself a little.

Just having a very hard time trying to like her.

I know Bill isn't perfect buy he is clearly out of her league. She is, so far, an attractive cum dump with a conscious that is always superceded by her slimy cunt!

no sarcasm either btw^

'girls like Amy..." plz, she's exactly the same way

so her pretending a guy HAS to make the first move is

bogus. He clearly did the machismo 'knight in shining armor'

thing and she can't even work up the nerve to ask him out. coward.

he's a classic introvert, not a loser.

she's a classic extrovert. her idea of 'dating' him was making him

IMMENSELY uncomfortable in large parties...sorry...orgies....that she has a

past with. what a stupid way to woo a man, make him a jealous cuck maybe.

she even hinted about him spying on her with excitement. she really seemed to

get off on that idea.

they're both genius level smart, but he is shy to a fault, and she's shameless to a fault.

he can LEARN to go out more, and he TRIED. she could learn to show more empathy,

and it NEVER happened. He definitely met her half-way while they were 'friends'

don't get me wrong, she early on later in their downward spiral tried to get

him to eat like her, exercise like her.....but that's bullshit and i'll tell you why

she IS the extrovert in their relationship, she has NO excuse initiating a serious

talk to bill as to WHY she wants him to be more in shape....or spend more quality time

at home instead of soaking in the TV.

at the end of the day, they had serious personality clash....bill told her very early on.

she never heeded that. ideally they could have met each other half-way. lord knows bill tried a few times which isn't easy for a poor introverted boy. she's selfish at the end of the day. the reason bill bounced back because sloth is easier to overcome, that's his cardinal sin. hers is difficult....pride. "why should i initiate the communication? why do i have to explain myself...he should already know. anyone that goes after bill is a slut...but me rubbing against guys at dances is his fault" she's broken, not evil. just a broken person that thought they

functioned perfectly until she finally saw her actions bear fruit that smells and tastes sour.

Back story of their college 'romance' is much different than the previous chapters. What was the purpose of this huge back story? It only lengthens the story with too much info not needed to complete the story. Cannot wait to get to the next chapter.

She calls Amy a slut... The last time I had any love for my ex before she went back to her child molester boyfriend/soon to be husband was when I told her I had cancer, her answer was "I wish you hadn't told me, all it's going to do is make me feel guilty." Even though we know Bill wouldn't listen, even back in college all I can say to him about Debbie is the same thing Jenny said - "Run, Forrest, Run!" Also, in my comments at the end of the previous chapter I forgot to mention that John D. MacDonald who lived on Seista Key in Sarasota donated all of his personal papers and manuscripts to the University of Florida (UF) that DQS1 mentions so often. Signed: BTW

Clarice.

Aunt? Sister? What?

The Nissan used to be a 370Z, now it's a 350. It's been a 2007, a 2005, next it'll be a 240Z.

Debbie had been a freshman to Bill's junior, now she's tutoring him.

She forgot she was raped, only to discover it was her 2nd cousin-in-law, once removed, Clarissa.

Leaves are falling all around

It's time I was on my way

Thanks to you I'm much obliged

For such a pleasant stay

But now it's time for me to go

The autumn moon lights my way

For now I smell the rain

And with it pain

And it's headed my way

Ah, sometimes I grow so tired

But I know I've got one thing I got to do

Ramble on

And now's the time, the time is now

To sing my song

This is too trite.... a real shame after so many good chapters. The plot has gone into the toilet badly.

And her 'seeing the light'.... again, too obvious. Really SUCKS

It's getting like the wild west, yes a little ridiculous, but she didn't let me down, she was there for him in his hour of need (I think)

Bill is a smart cookie. Hope he is as tough with the slut wife as he is with Smith!!!

Please don't let him turn CUCK!!!

Reconciliation and being a cuckold are far different. While I’m not hoping for either option I feel sure that if they do reconcile he would never allow himself to be cuckolded.

I've given every other chapter 5 stars, even with some reservations at times. Because I think you're a good writer, I didn't score this one. But Coleridge remarked that reader must give the writer "a willing suspension of disbelief." Sorry, but this plot twist is so far out there that you've gone past that. If this is supposed to be the set-up for Debbie saving Bill as once he saved her, you really didn't have to jump the shark this badly to get them to reconcile. You're a lot better than this, really.

Powerful stuff

With her history as told,why did Bill even consider marrying her.Plus with her appetite,there is no way Doug would have been the first after she got married.

By the end of Section 5 I felt that this saga was beginning to become plodding, more like a tedious soap opera, but it was re-energised in 6A with the introduction of the flashback sections describing their early relationship at university in Gainesville. The flashback section in the first half of page 5, where Debbie takes one last chance to get back with Bill when in university, is so well written that I had to read it twice. I was disappointed that the flashbacks do not continue into their courtship and early marriage. 5 stars.

5 stars for sure. The flashback surely should have made him realize he should have turned around an ran away from her as fast as he could. Why would anyone want a relationship with someone like her. Anyone with that many relationships, if you can call them that, cannot be trusted to ever settle down into one monogamous partnership. It ain't going to happen. The man himself knew she was in another league and yet allowed himself to be seduced???? Our hero had little experience with woman and relationships do he was doomed. They should teach this stuff in school, but they don't. Good suspense on the standoff in the meeting.................keep it going.

“ Without training, she was able to provide the support and encouragement you needed to transcend what was actually early sexual abuse by older men. Women who are initiated into sex at such an early age often fall into a destructive pattern of sexual relationships that mirror those early experiences. With her help and guidance you grew into a strong, sexually aggressive but sexually healthy woman."”

This paragraph is not only complete garbage but I cannot honestly believe any license psychologist would ever say this to a person with the level of sexual partners Debbie has had. Normal people do not act like this and do not fuck around like that because it’s incredibly damaging and according to actual research, destroys your ability to pair bond. Debbie has never had a healthy view on sex. The more we find out about her the less sympathetic she is and the more fucked up she is in the head. Normal women do not constantly go out with men and fuck them. She has major major issues that have little, if any, to do with Clarice. Her false memory is not and never was her problem and it’s a complete copout to blame her mentality on that.

This chapter has been by far the best since the first IMO. I’m still slightly on the fence about whether the flashback might’ve worked better as it’s own story but it does tie in pretty nicely with the present.

The shrink telling Debbie she's " sexually aggressive but, sexually healthy" has me SMH. How much worse would her behavior have to be for him to consider her sexually dysfunctional???

You should write a movie.

You are a great writer. But I want a story, this chapter was loaded with flashbacks an Bill introduction and semi-relationship with Debbie. I mean we already knew she was a slut and her showing Bill she was a slut kinda showed us Bill was a real dumb shit for getting mixed up with her in the first place. Different worlds and all that. I think all the flash back I guess was mostly from her sessions with the doc but still I think it took away from the story. Now, the stand off with all the cops is good. Second time thru for me.

Again this chapter shows the contradictions in this story.Maitland is listed as an extremely intelligent guy,but he can't be to marry an whore like Debbie.Saying he loves her doesn't gell as no one could love the equivalent of a street walker. As the saying goes Mother knows best.

This was one of the better chapters so far. Thr flashback was revealing. Bill really was dumb in ignoring his mother's advise. He was drawn like a flame to Debbie back then. She was never really going to change, at least forever. Her resentment over his job, her Aunt Clarice and the raised suspicions of Bill's alleged adultery, his lack of physical fitness and taking her for granted in the bedroom, but especially his inability to chase her romantically or fight for her as she came home late, because he had foolish complete trust in her, eroded their marriage. But the flashback shows she clearly has psychiatric issues and problems with narcissim and yet lower self esteem. No matter how beautiful Debbie was kn college, why would any sane man want any part of her emotional baggage train. Sure she is beautiful, smart, sext and a great fuck, but she is damaged goods, emotionally speaking. Heck as Clint noted, insteading of forcing him to go the gym, spice up their love life, due her own positive interventions, or fight like crazy over his excessive job commitment, she was wanking men through their pants at parties, fantasizing about other men, falling out of love for Bill, with zero communication, writing those nasty emails and planning to fuck Doug, finally doing so that fateful night when she burned their marriage. He clearly has mental issues now (for which she sees a therapist) but also in the past, and those were brought into the marriage lurking below the waterline. There is no way this story should be a RAAC based on those emails and her actions to torch their marriage. Bill was clueless and trusted her and she abused that even with first an emotional affair and sex with big dick Doug the loser asshole. In truth she would have left Bill eventually anyways but how she did it was awful. Her batshit crazy Aunt and her suicide really fucked Debbie up. She began resenting and being angry with Bill for reasons that they never discussed and some were invented or exaggerated on her part. That isn't to say Bill is blameless. He took her for granted and Debbie needs to be pursued, desired and chased. It is in her psyche. He should have steered away in college. Dumb decision. I fear the author plans a RAAC but I don't see how, though he may never finish the 5th volume. This site only has first two volumes. It is interesting to see the degeneration of Mona and Lew. It reinforces here what we know from their main arc that Lew really fucked up and lost desire for his wife when she couldn't have kids and crushed her ego, which she got back at him for by fucking Norm for a year as he traveled and was in court. Why they didn't think to go in vitro earlier is a surprise. The Long Goodbye shows both perspectives and their neat reconciliation is played out in Separate Vacations: Parallel Lives. One final note. The author's emphasis on big dicks both in the present and distant past is overdone. Fine Ramone is huge. A freak, sure we get it, though the probabilities say otherwise as the average dick length is 5.5 inches with steep declining Gaussian tails and low standard deviations. Besides after nearly 20 years of exclusive dating and marriage, if Bill can't get his rocks off with a 6 inch dick then given he should be able to read her orgasm lingua franca and give her good quality orgasms. Maybe not the bone rattling ones that Doug gave her because he was forceful/ dominant and she is is reality somewhat submissive, not to mention he is hung, AND he was falling in love with her. Look she knew a long time that she hurt Bill in college on several occasions when he saw her fuck.giys with big cocks. By this time she had fallen out of love with him based on her resentments, immature and lacking communication, and her aunt's poisonous words and actions, she knew how to hurt him real good. Something she seems reluctant to stop doing post divorce as she still is so angry that she hurts and lashes out at him repeatedly. Glad she is getting therapy but wow trainwreck. And yeah again if Bill paid any attention to her late night excursions and the sex in thr bedroom, she probably would have hung on. After so.many years your experience with her body, her nuanced feelings of sex, what she likes, he should have outcompeted a new guy with a two inch longer and one onch wider dick circumference. It is just how sex should play out if still in love with one another. Ignoring medical issues (Yay Viagra!), he should be able to get the job done unless his dick is 4 inches longer. Heck practice oral. Of course the one night he goes all out and gets her to cum buckets, too little too late and the fucking curse of Aunt Clarice. So yeah he is not blameless but wow she did all that terribly. The simple fact she did not seek help, or confront goes all back to her crazy Aunt Clarice. What a mess. And yet the author looks like RAAC, at least prior to the MC's possible death. Oh yeah and post breakup (of her own devising with her betrayal), Debbie is really delusional and still cares about Bill despite protestations too the contrary. She really has issues.

Great instalment. The truths are coming out, emotions getting very raw, no idea which way it will go.

I wonder if any man could stand what Maitland has gone and is going through. I would have got in touch with Debbie and asked if she was willing to restore our marriage. And if she said no as I expect from the way the story goes, I would have found someone to finish by job and I would have headed for someplace in the country where I could not possibly run into her again. And I would have insured she would have had no way to find me.

So debbie had always been a slut, a cock tease...

Suspense, ... what will happen? Great read, so far. Thanks.

“They might be better on paper if you were scoring individual features, but she knew that one on one there wasn't a one of these young hardbodies she couldn't walk up to and steal a boyfriend from, without breaking a sweat.” Add narcissist to her list of foibles.

It's a real pity this chapter degenerated to an old western 'Gunsmoke', 'High Noon' and and the 'dirty dozen' all rolled into one. Absolutely ridiculous, only in America!

Super tense chapter. Love it.

Page 5....Debbie is discussing why she is angry with Bill. Teller states "I told you once, Debbie, that you could stop these sessions at any time. I think, honestly, that you would eventually figure out on your own the source of the emotions you feel toward your ex-husband. Similarly, although complex, I think you will eventually realize what destroyed your marriage, and he does share a portion of the responsibility for that."

It is NOT the therapist's job to place any blame, and they won't for many reasons. They leave it to the patient to take the responsibility of the blame, or to assign the blame. Then, the author fails to remember that Debbie was already mentally tearing the marriage apart in her head before Bill did anything, and that NOTHING Bill did BEFORE OR AFTER had any effect on that.

The author knows a lot about legal aspects, but needs to learn more about mental health. The naivety of this is going to ruin the story.

Now at this point, The Reverend, Austin, and Phil from the FOP, all have attempted to influence Bill regarding the Smith case. These are all blatant violations of attempting to influence an investigation/obstruction of justice/tampering with evidence. Bill should be reporting this, IMMEDIATELY. Yet Bill does nothing? This directly questions his story line, as he is the "White Knight" that will follow the law at all costs, as he is proving by sending smith to the grand jury. Now I question the author in his/her knowledge of legal issues.

Then....the standoff. The author went too far in setting it up. Having Bill, an experienced Prosecutor, walk in, by himself is a death sentence. Anyone would know this. Having him have the recorder is pretty weak, when he could have had backup ESCORT him in.

This whole story line is starting to come apart as it is starting to jump the shark.

Better than your previous chapter where it Seemed all you did was make every girl in this story out to be a slut. I feel some of the scenes in this chapter should have come in the first chapter though. As flashbacks they seemed kind of irrelevant to the chapter especially at this point.