Where the Deer and the Antelope Play

"Thought so! No ring."

"Yeah, you guys didn't talk?"

"Oh, a little, but nothing really personal. "

"Well, I understand that she and her last serious boyfriend broke up a little before Nessa and I met. She seemed like a nice girl when I met her before and she's Nessa's cousin and best friend, so...be careful, okay? Don't go overboard with her."

That would have hurt coming from anyone else, but Alan knew me well enough to know my tendencies. Looking at him, I nodded. "I won't go anywhere with her that she doesn't want to go."

He smiled. "You guys are both adults, so that's all I'm asking. Let's go clean up and get dinner."

***

Chapter 3

Thursday, October 15th

Alan was up early on Thursday morning and off to his hardware store, but I slept in, heading in to join him around 10.

An elderly man sat in the chair at the desk not too far from the counter. He yawned, wide, before squinting at me. "Welcome to Bettley Hardware, young man. Can we help you?"

"Ah...looking for Alan."

"Back in the lumber shed. With a little help from his friends, the poor sap's finally had a run of good luck and is getting himself hitched to a real beauty on Saturday." He grinned, as if it was all his doing. "Now, he's trying to get the store ready so Rick and I can keep it open at least part of the time while he's off honeymooning. Don't know what he's worried about; I was working this place off and on before he was born."

"He appreciates that and anything everyone did to get Nessa and him together."

His beady eyes became even squintier. "You must be that city-slicker, Ian, coming to make sure he actually goes through with it." There was humor in his voice.

I laughed. "Yep, and you must be his Uncle Horace."

"Bah, great uncle, you mean. I earned these years so don't cheat me out of 'em. As for Alan, 'bout time he settled down and got married; probably the oldest bachelor in Bettleys Corners...that'll ever get married, anyway."

"I don't know. I'm Alan's age and single. There's a lot to be said of the single life," I said, as if defending myself.

"Tell me about it," he agreed with a chuckle. "Never got the urge to settle down myself, but..."

He sighed and looked out the front window. "...no matter how much fun you have or how much partying you do, you'll always ask yourself if you did the right thing, particularly when you're 86 and the only affection and pussy that's been around in years is your cat."

He picked up a microphone and called, "Alan, your city-slicker friend is here." It rumbled over the loudspeakers with a touch of feedback.

"Seriously, son, if you ever happen to find true love, don't throw it away without giving it some serious thought. I, ah...I...."

The old man looked away with a sigh, probably remembering some long lost lover but maybe doing one of those strange things old folks that old do that we youngsters aren't old enough to fathom, even when we're 40.

"Ahem, thank you, sir. I'll keep that in mind," I mumbled, stumbling over the words.

"Hey, Ian! Welcome to my little domain," called Alan as he approached from the rear of the store. "Has Uncle Horace been keeping you entertained with stories of his misspent youth?"

The old man looked over at me and winked as he said, "Nah, saving those for the wedding. With all of Alan's globetrotting some years back, most people won't know they're my adventures instead of his." He grinned as he closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair.

Alan gave me a quick tour of the store including his engineering "office" where Uncle Horace was sitting. "Over half of my income came from design work last year, with the hardware store filling the gaps in my bank account and in the community. I came about that close to selling—"

"But love fixed that in a hurry," said Horace, his eyes still closed. "Besides, hot as hell in Arizona. He'd have been back."

***

With Uncle Horace awake at the cash register and one of Alan's part-time employees expected after school, we drove to Creek City to run an errand and play a round of golf. We talked between holes, and I could see how happy Alan was since he'd been dating Nessa, making me happy for him.

We spent a bit of time talking about his engineering work and the hardware store, and he asked me about my dental practice. After I gave him an update on it, he asked, "Ever thought of relocating to the Great Midwest? We could sure use you around here."

"Fat chance," I replied with a laugh. "I'd go stir crazy in a minute."

He was quiet as I lined up and sank my putt, before handing me the dollar for the hole and saying, "You might be surprised. It's true the terrain is a little on the boring side, but the people are really friendly and there's a great sense of community and common good here."

I chuckled.

"What?"

"Alan, I'm from the city and I know recruiters use lines like that when they're recruiting for places where there are issues...like a severe lack of eligible women."

"I don't know, Ian. Look at Nessa."

He was grinning but I shook my head. "She doesn't count. She's an import."

As we finished the round, he handed me another dollar. I was up three bucks over the 18 holes.

"Ian, how about some barbecue? It's my favorite place in town."

"Does your BBQ place have beer, too?"

"Yeah, good beer, and cold, too. They even have a couple of cute waitresses."

"Then what are we waiting for?"

Alan called Nessa to let her know and minutes later we were pulling into the parking lot of the Barbecutie Pit, an older building on the edge of town. As hungry as I was, the wonderful smell of the barbecue was only exceeded by the looks of the two waitresses in short shorts and low cut halter tops. One, in particular, with brown hair and blonde highlights, caught my eye, and I enjoyed admiring her as Alan chattered while I was practically biting my hand to keep from staring.

"—and Nessa and I became regulars after that."

"Hmmm."

"Ian, want to know the secret to their success?"

"Uh huh."

"The secret is that they use the biggest cuts yah-dah—"

She really was pretty and I was imagining my cock sliding up and down between those big tits—

"—yah-dah yah-dah bison, and they cook them—"

Yes, she was hot, cooking hot, about to burst out of that top. The reveal when I undid that knot would be spectacular—

"—yah-dah yah-dah low heat using reflectors instead of directly over the flames for seven days—"

And for seven nights. I'd do her every one, despite my usual rule being one night only. I was on vacation for a while and I might just ignore that rule for the duration.

"Then the Oompa Loompas shred it with tuning forks—"

"Huh?" My head swiveled toward him.

He was barely containing his laughter. "Ian, you didn't hear a word I said. Sophie has you mesmerized. She's a really sweet girl. Want to meet her?"

"Really?"

"There's only two waitresses on duty and we're in her section so there's a good chance, but don't come onto her too much." He grinned before raising his index finger. Beautiful Sophie was there a moment later.

"Hi, Alan! Saturday's the big day! I'm so excited for you guys! Who's your friend?"

She was even more beautiful up close than at a distance, her smile was radiant, and her teeth looked perfect. She either had excellent genes or a great orthodontist. Her pale blue eyes didn't hurt, either.

"Sophie, this is my best friend and best man, Ian Jenkins. He's a dentist. Ian, this is Sophie Woodruff. Ahem," he added in a deadpan, "but don't get any ideas. She's taken."

My heart sank like a rock as he said it but then I noticed that her face had fallen, too, and she was slowly shaking her mane. "Not any more, Alan. The bastard cheated on me and I dumped him when I found out."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Sophie. I didn't know."

"Just happened last night; nobody knows except my mom, Carol, and you guys. And Bart, the bastard, of course." She waved to the other waitress. "Carol, come here and meet someone."

The other girl, maybe 20 or 21, came over, and Sophie said, "Ian, this is Carol. Carol, you know Alan, and this is his friend, Ian. He's a dentist!"

Carol was pretty but her teeth definitely needed some orthodontic work, numbers 7, 8, and 9, in particular, along with an overbite involving a number of others. Her lips closed and I could see no more, so we all talked for a few moments until someone at one of Carol's tables signalled. Sophie took our order, too, and when she walked away, I watched her rear-end appreciatively, thinking how I'd love to—

"Ian, she's 28, almost 29, I think, and she's single now. Want to rethink moving out here?"

I laughed out loud. "Alan, that's tempting, deliciously so, I'm afraid, but you know me, I'm not the settle-down type."

He sighed before smiling. "Can't blame a guy for trying to teach a dog...or his best friend...new tricks."

I got the sampler platter, with thin-cut slices of brisket and pork, some ribs, and a mound of shredded pork, along with three sides. Alan was shaking his head as I finished it.

"Tell me, how the hell do you stay so thin? I'd have to spend an extra two hours on my rower if I ate that much."

"Workouts six or seven times a week, and I still do my old martial arts workout a few times a week, even though I haven't been to the dojo in years."

"Ian, how do you make it to the gym to work out that many times a week when your social schedule is as busy as it is?"

I grinned, showing all of my pearly whites. "Alan, I didn't say anything about doing it in a gym."

His forehead fell into his palm as he shook his head.

"Okay, I'm going to hit the restroom before we head back to BC. It's a good thirty minutes if you need to..."

I waved and sat back in my chair, comfortably full, as he tossed a ten spot on the table for Sophie. When he was gone, I added another, and enjoyed watching Sophie walk over to me.

"How was it? Did you enjoy?"

"Oh, very, very much so. The food, the atmosphere, and, most of all, my waitress, were all delightful."

She blushed and looked down at her feet, making me hope I hadn't just lost her. Normally I wouldn't lay it on that thick but she was a small town girl and I only had a moment before Alan returned from the bathroom. I had to act quickly.

"Say, Sophie, would you be interested in getting together, maybe for drinks, after you get off work tonight?"

She looked at me for a few seconds and then smiled and gave the smallest of nods before her expression changed, her eyes widening, and she started backing away.

A big guy, maybe 5'-10 and 240 pounds was coming toward her. He didn't look happy, but she looked scared.

"Bart, I told you to leave me alone," she said as she bumped into a table behind her. The guy was in his late twenties, about her age, and looked as if he might have been a high school football player before the years, too much beer, and too little exercise made him soft.

"Sophie, we gotta talk, girl. I love you and we're not breakin' up over a little misunderstandin'."

"Bumping into Talisa Bagett is a misunderstanding. Putting your dick in her is cheating and I won't stand for it."

"I didn't! She's lying, I'm telling you! Please, you've got to believe me!" He reached out and put a hand on her arm and pulled her to him; it looked surprisingly gentle, but Sophie wasn't having it.

"Get your hand off me, Bart! And it's not a lie; Talisa told me! Just go away and leave me alone!"

"Please, Sophie. Listen to me. It's not true. You know I'd never cheat on you. I love you, girl."

I was concerned that he was about to get rough, the way he was begging her and the way she was refusing. With all eyes in the restaurant on them and no one doing anything to help, I stood up. "Uh, Bart, is it? Sophie wants you to leave her alone so I suggest you listen."

Moving Sophie to the side, he turned on me, his jaw set and his eyes angry. Sophie, off balance, bumped into the table and knocked over a glass, causing a clatter and making the female guest at the table cry out in surprise as her drink hit her. She jumped up from her seat to keep more from dripping in her lap.

Forgetting Bart, I moved to help Sophie, but the big guy must have thought I was going for him and his fist came flying in toward my head. Fortunately, any speed Bart had once possessed must have slowed in some proportion to his weight gain. The swing was slow, comically so, as if he was play-acting or something. I sidestepped it, hooked his arm, and tossed him against my table. It wasn't hard, but it looked like he hit it face first, bounced off, and fell to the floor on his ass, holding the left side of his mouth where a little blood seeped out.

Alan came out of the men's room just as Bart hit the floor. Seeing something was up, he stepped up to help guard me as I turned to help Sophie. She'd fallen on her butt on the floor next to the table she'd hit and some of the Pepsi or whatever it was had spilled on her, too.

I helped her to her feet and she put her arms around me. "Thank you, Ian. Thank you."

"Are you okay, Sophie?" I asked, holding her close and patting her back.

She nodded but dread flashed across her face when she saw the lady drenched in her pop. "Oh, I'm so sorry—"

"Here, Ma'am," said Carol, interrupting and waving Sophie off as she arrived with a huge stack of napkins. She gave some to the woman, put some on the table, and handed some to Sophie. I'm not sure but I think Alan even got some and handed them to Bart.

"Mmmn. That hurt, you asshole," said Bart, glaring at me from his spot on the floor. "And I think my fucking tooth is loose."

"Yes, I imagine it did," I agreed. "Which tooth?"

"This one I'm holding, idiot."

"One eventually learns not to bite the hand that feeds it," I said, leading Bart to stare at me and Alan to chuckle. "As for your tooth, as long as it's not cracked or hanging out by the root, leave it be, stop touching it and don't touch it anymore. Don't try to bite or eat anything with it, just soup or something really soft, and go to your dentist in the morning. He can stabilize it for you by temporarily bonding it to the adjacent teeth. It won't take too long and it will heal as good as new."

"What are you, a fuckin' dentist or something?"

"Yes, exactly so," I agreed, trying to keep from laughing at his unknowing double entendre, "but I advise you to watch your language. There are kids present."

"Ooop, sorry." He actually looked a little sheepish as glanced around, still holding the napkins against his mouth, to see at least two little boys staring at him and one little girl burying her face in her mother's breasts. "Do I really need to go see a dentist? The nearest one's in Lesterville and I'll be fired from my job if I take the morning off to drive there."

I suspected the firing would be from starting a fight rather than the time off, but I didn't want to antagonize him further. "Don't you have a dentist in this town?"

Sophie, still holding me, said, ""The old dentist died so you're all we have now. Can you see him?"

"If you don't, I'm so gonna get fired."

Alan was shaking his head, in disbelief, I believe, since he had a little smirk on his face.

"Uh, I can't. I don't have any of the things I need to take care of it."

The Barbecutie Pit manager had come out with a mop and a bucket. On hearing what I'd said, he spoke up. "Excuse me, I'm Leon Perkins. Janet Nolan, Dr. Nolan's wife—he's our old dentist who died a few months back—has been trying everything she can to sell his practice since Ed died. He probably had what you need in his office and, as far as I know, it's just been closed and sitting there. She might let you in to see if you can find what you need. I could call her, if you'd like?"

I looked at Bart and he nodded so I agreed as Alan gave another shake of his head.

Mr. Perkins apologized and comped the wet lady's meal, and then stepped away, returning a couple of minutes later. "Mrs. Nolan said she could meet you guys there at noon."

Leaning closer to Bart and speaking in a lower voice, he added, "Don't screw this up or make me regret it. If you do, you'll never step foot in here again."

Bart nodded again, his bleeding apparently stopped. Carol handed him some damp napkins so he could clean his face, and it took me only a moment to realize they were dampened with the spilled Pepsi instead of water. I resisted the urge to laugh.

Alan helped Bart up from the floor, ready, I believe, to deck him if he tried anything else, but the bully had had enough for the night.

"You good to drive?" Alan asked.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "And Sophie, Doc, I'm...I'm sorry. See you at noon tomorrow, Doc."

"Don't forget what I said: keep your hands off of that tooth and don't eat anything harder than...than alphabet soup."

Maybe he'd get lucky and learn a new word.

When Bart was gone, I looked at Sophie and asked, "You going to be okay?"

"Yes," she replied before adding with a whisper, "And yes."

"What do you mean?" I asked, matching her tone.

"You asked about drinks later, remember?" She scribbled something on the order pad in her pocket and handed it to me. I'm off at 9, so, say, 9:30?"

I nodded, she kissed my cheek, and Alan, with a smile, could only shake his head once again in disbelief.

***

We were on the highway toward Bettleys Corners when Alan spoke. "So let me get this straight, I go to the bathroom and am gone for two minutes tops. While I'm gone, you get a date—for tonight, mind you—and then play the knight in shining armor by punching out her ex-boyfriend before agreeing to treat him for his injury?"

"Well, the first part was intentional, but the rest, no. And I didn't punch him." I told him the story and he laughed. "He's got to be the biggest klutz around, but at least you didn't break your hand. This way, you can still help him tomorrow." He laughed again.

We rode in silence for a few miles and I was able to think about what had happened while trying to keep from thinking of what I looked forward to doing with Sophie in a little while. Something about what she'd said nagged at me so I finally asked, "Alan, did you ever go out with Sophie? I got the impression that she liked you a lot."

"Nope. I came close once to asking her out once, but when she found out I lived in Bettleys Corners, she shut me down really quick. We became friends later, but I'd started dating Nessa by then. Worried about living up to the high standards I might have set?"

"Nah, since she is your friend, I just didn't want her to see you in a, ah, a lesser light after going out with me."

He smiled but didn't reply.

***

Later that evening, I turned my rental car off parked on the side of the road by her mailbox. There weren't any street lights but I could see a light inside and the vague shape of a little house.

Getting out of the car, I looked up and was amazed by the number of stars I could see. There were thousands scattered like grains of sand strewn across a—

A spotlight on the corner of the house and the front porch light came on suddenly, ruining my night vision.

"Hi, Ian! Come in!" called Sophie. Her voice, so sweet, drew me like a fly to honey, and I felt myself hardening at the connotation. I willed myself to relax as I walked up the short drive and took the sidewalk to her door.

"Any trouble finding it?" she asked as she opened the door for me. She'd changed out of her Barbecutie outfit into a nice little flowery sundress that I figured would take all of a second to lose when the time came. It was obvious that there was no bra.

"No, GPS does wonders, even out here. As does that dress."

She glanced down, a touch of embarrassment or possibly shyness at the compliment, but then looked up at me, smiling. "Thank you, Ian. As for GPS, I don't know what people did in the old days. Seriously, I remember road trips with my mom and dad when I was little and Mom would have the map in her lap." She chuckled before adding, "Daddy would always get mad when she'd get us lost."