Where We Left Off Ch. 11

I kept to myself mostly. I searched parking lots for Subaru Outback's. I went to cafes occasionally, though I couldn't stand the sight of a white chocolate mocha. I worked out at the gym. My wardrobe became more of a reflection of my style, but I did keep some of my sexy clothes.

I had lunch with Gina and Jennifer. They revealed to me that they had secretly dated for the past 5 years. Jennifer had divorced Todd, sold everything, and took half of the money. She now lived with Gina and Andy.

A couple girls went missing in the mountains of North Carolina. I saw Ranger Dick on CNN coverage of the search efforts. He was actually in charge. It made me sick. The news later reported that several hikers had gone missing over the years in that section of trails. I contacted the local sheriff and reported my 1997 assault. I only knew the rangers first name, Richard, and the area he worked at the time. Ranger Dick was still the primary ranger in that area. I faxed the sheriff a map of where the outpost was located. A couple of deputies followed up on my tip. They found the outpost. The outpost I was assaulted in wasn't even an official park service outpost. He had built it in secret in an area he knew would remain hidden. The deputies found the two girls alive in there. Ranger Dick had held them captive for over a week. Cadaver dogs found gravesites in the area for the missing hikers. He had an extensive collection of VHS tapes. My tape was the first tape, it was labeled Sweetheart. I testified at his trial.

As I walked away from the stand, Ranger Dick yelled out, "I always knew it would be you, sweetheart. You're looking damn good, by the way!"

He had to watch the rest of the trial on video after that outburst. The Great State of North Carolina punished him with multiple life sentences without the possibility of parole. I was one of his very few survivors.

Randy sent me a letter. He had watched the news coverage and knew that I testified. He claimed that I was a liar. I had not been assaulted because I agreed to the blackmail terms. He was also upset because I was trying to turn his first sexual experience with a real man, another of his many passive aggressive digs at me, into a crime. I replied to him that he didn't have the best track record with sexual assault. I explained to him how his actions at Ranger Dick's cabin affected me for years.

"Not only did you let me be tortured so you wouldn't face the consequences of your actions," I wrote, "you were aroused at my torture. You then performed fellatio on my attacker. Finally, after participating, you humiliated me even more by making me perform fellatio on you in the car because you were too 'aroused to drive.'"

"You then accused me of enjoying it because my body had an involuntary ejaculation. After you forced me after I said no in my parents house, and willfully assisted my assault in the mountains, you begged me to come with you to Virginia." I continued, "You then dumped me a month after I changed my whole life for you. You didn't just abandon me, though, you left me alone to live with a serial rapist. You knew John was a rapist, you had watched several videos of him raping many women when you were a teenager. John never hurt me like that, but I have spent countless hours in therapy dealing with the emotional and physical damage caused by being his submissive. He always told me I had a choice, but he knew that I really didn't have a choice. He had trained me to be completely obedient. I accept responsibility for my own actions, and I did make choices. I needed a friend to help guide me. You could have been that friend, but you only thought of yourself. I'm doing better now. I hope you find peace in your life. Please, leave me alone. ~Tiffany"

It was the spring of 2003. It had been eighteen months since Randy went to prison and John died. I had seen a therapist for most of that time. It helped, but I had a lot to unravel. There had been many great experiences with John. John had taken care of me and loved me in his way. We had a lot of great sex. I loved the erotic spankings, the role playing, and the heat that we sometimes had.

I had also slept in a dog kennel many nights. John kept me on a strict 800 calorie a day diet. I spent 50 to 75 nights a year being punished because I had an involuntary ejaculation before he told me that I could cum. This was on top of other punishments because I left a dirty dish out, or wore more clothes than he set out for me to wear. John had a few sexual encounters with other women during out relationship, he would always degrade and humiliate me as his slave during these encounters. He would make me eat his cum out of her ass or pussy. Many times they would both pee on me in the shower. He loved watching a woman spank me. Women would use strap-ons with me while he filmed. I was his urinal on long car trips. I would have to swallow all of his urine while he drove so he wouldn't have to pull over at a gas station or rest area. He shared me with men. He always separated punishment and sex, but he did have many cruel kinks.

It wasn't a healthy relationship. People who knew us thought we had a deep bond. They didn't realize my necklace was a collar for a leash. They didn't know that my butt cheeks were usually a shade of red or purple from being constantly spanked. They didn't realize that breathing was the only thing that I was allowed to do without his permission. At the time, I honestly believed that it was true love. I believed that he did these things to me out of love and respect. I know better now.

I had been celibate since Juan, which had now been over a year. I also abstained from masturbation, which was hard because internet porn was good now. I had been oversexed for years, it was nice to have a year to reset. Even though being a girl was forced on me, it was the only true identity for myself. I had no regrets on being a girl. I had no attraction to females at all. I desired men for relationships and sex.

I was shopping in a grocery store when I turned the corner and saw Brad. He was shopping with a girl. She was very pretty. I stopped mid aisle. I started to cry. Brad saw me. I turned around, left my cart in the aisle, and ran towards the door.

"Tiffany, wait!", Brad shouted.

I got in my car and drove home as quick as I could. I went inside and locked the door. I could see a car pull into the driveway. It was Brad. He and the girl came to the door. Brad knocked.

"Tiff, open up," Brad said, "don't you want to meet my sister?"

Kate sat on my couch with a big smile as she looked around the room. She hit Brad on the arm and said, "So you have known all a long where she lived. I would have driven up from Charleston last year and asked her out for you, had I known that!"

My childhood friend Brad had an older sister named Kate. They lived in Massachusetts and would vacation in Charleston during the summer. Kate had a slight Boston accent. A lump grew in my throat.

I blushed and replied, "I'm from Charleston, small world...."

She laughed and said, "I know, you doofus. We're not originally from Charleston. My parents had a beach house there that we would stay at during the summer. We grew up an hour out of Boston. Our parents moved to Charleston five years ago. My husband and I moved down there two years ago. We absolutely love it. We want Brad to move down, but he won't leave ole' Richmond. Something has kept him here since he graduated."

"Oh my god," I thought, "this was Kate and Brad from my childhood."

"Hey, I have to leave for home early in the morning. I will take your car back to your apartment. I know how to find your apartment from here. I will mail your guest key back up to you when I get home. Maybe Tiffany can give you a ride home. I'm sure you will figure it out," Kate said to Brad with a smile, "and one more thing, quit that stupid job at the cafe you've been going to on the weekends just in case a certain somebody needs a coffee. Love you."

Kate gave me a hug on the way out the door.