Where's the Free Use?

"Yeah, sorry, I wasn't thinking of using inclusive fucking language to talk about Ariel getting freeused, dude," Dan laughed.

It was like brain synapses were getting formed on the spot. I'd never felt so stupid in my life. How could I have never even conceived of this idea?? Getting free used. Not even friends with benefits, just... getting used. Like a living sex toy. Under a desk giving a guy a blowjob while he's just working or doing something else. Or even talking to a friend, with me sucking his cock being the most banal, normal thing in the world. Fuck.

"See? You upset her," Nick continued as I faded back into reality.

"Me?!" Dan asked incredulously. "You were the one that said she looks like she enjoys it!! She asked me to explain it and I did."

"Guys, I'm not upset," I cut in, in a way softer voice than I normally used. I squeezed my legs together. I was so incredibly wet. I needed to log off soon and spend some quality time with my fingers. For a millisecond, I thought about lying, but... these guys were my family. I couldn't lie to my family. "I honestly never even considered that could be a thing. That's all."

Matthew guffawed. "Wow Ariel, never? You talk a big game, but you are way more innocent than we thought you were."

I breathed in and out. I couldn't lie to my family. "Oh no Matthew," I began in a low voice. "I'm uh... I think about sex a lot. Like, you want blunt? I have to get off like three times a day, minimum."

In the webcam view, I saw Cartoon Critic drop his beer can.

"I don't even watch porn anymore because it's too tame for me. It's also super manufactured, you know? If I'm gonna finger myself, it needs to be to something real. Something freaky. So this free use thing is, uh... it's kinda doing it for me."

No one said anything for a bit. "Woah," Nick eventually croaked. "That's, uh... that's wild."

"That's definitely a thing you just said," Dan acknowledged.

"I mean, whatever," Cartoon Critic replied in this faux 'playing it cool' voice. "It's biology. It's normal. Everybody does it."

"I never said I do it," Nick cut in, and the other guys chuckled a bit. There was definitely a lull in the conversation after that. I guess I made it awkward by being blunt, but they literally joked about me enjoying it like a minute before, so like...? What, was I not allowed to admit to liking sex, but they could joke or probably even fantasize me being into it? Talk about a double standard.

That day I learned two important lessons. One, The Amazing Channel was still my second family, but like, the older family, the one that was out of touch. The one you can't really have deep chats with, or they'll think you're being weird, despite their attempts to be cool and understanding. Two, I loved free use. Once the call was over, I was hornier than I'd ever remembered being. I looked up free use porn, I read free use stories, and my hand never left my pussy for close to two hours. If my brother ever texted me, I told him I had needs and to put those headphones to good use. I was discovering myself. I needed this.

***

My leg moved restlessly in class. I was debating raising my hand and asking Mr. Jefferson if I could go to the bathroom. I already did last period to quickly play with myself, but it wasn't enough. It was like scratching a mosquito bite -- it just made me need more. Three times a day was now a distant memory; it was five, minimum, often more. And at least two were at school.

It was getting bad. Whenever I denied myself release for too long, I caught myself using my free hand to rub myself over my pants under the desk. Thank goodness none of my dumb teachers saw, they would just say I needed counseling or whatever. I knew better. I needed to be free used.

Trouble was, by whom? The only people who already knew about free use in my life were older, and physically strangers. Yeah, we talked online, but they were kinda dorky and kinda creepy and, biggest hurdle, thought I was twenty-one. It was hot to finger myself thinking about an older guy taking me -- my teachers, for instance, may have been dumb, but some of them were hot as fuck -- but it was an idea. A fantasy. Only sexy because it wouldn't happen. I could think about Mr. Jefferson's cock all I wanted, but if the dude actually tried to seduce me, I would have genuinely reported the guy. Leave fantasies as fantasies, you know? Maybe someday if I met him in a grocery store after graduating... maybe. We'd have to see.

And The Amazing Channel? Nope. I wouldn't tell the other creators about it, but after the call ended, Matthew ended up sending me a message, saying that if I ever wanted the free use experience, he could show me a few things privately, but 'only if I wanted, no pressure.' Playing it cool. He had no idea I was still in high school. I couldn't do that to him, or myself. I tried to let him down as easy as I could. It helped that I could say "I can't do anything long distance, it has to be in person" and that seemed as reasonable as anything.

So who did that leave? Any boy I crushed on was a no-no, both because I couldn't just be free-used by a guy I wanted to date, and because I couldn't even talk to those boys, let alone ask them to use my body as they pleased. I had a few distant friends, and I had boys drooling over me in one or two classes. It could be really easy to corner those drooling boys and give them the deal, but there were a few problems there. One, if things went south, "Ariel likes being free used" would be an ugly rumor. Knowing how much our school hated women as much as early SNL did, I could have probably been suspended or something with a rumor like that. Two, it was a hassle and frankly kind of vulnerable to approach strangers and just be like, "Hi! You don't know me at all, but you're attracted to me. Let's spend some time getting to know each other, and we'll see if you still like me after, you know, actually getting to know me, or if you'll get me to change. If it's the latter, go fuck yourself. If it's the former, great! I'll then tell you how I'm not looking for a relationship and say I'm into being free used, and we'll have to be on the same page on both fronts if this is going to work. If not, I go to the next drooling boy and start again from square one." Jesus. What a headache. I sighed, getting up from my English class and leaving, onto my next class.

The Media Gang was all that was left. They wouldn't judge me, but they were virgins, almost definitely, and they didn't even want to take charge during the morning announcements, let alone casual free use sex. All this reflecting just culminated in me sulking, my restless leg reflecting my constant need to cum, sitting next to Greg as he worked.

He peered over at me briefly. "You look like shit," he observed.

"Yeah, I feel like shit," I admitted, then looked around the room. Raven was out, Harmony was taking a break listening to music, and Drew and Abe were diligently working, headphones on.

"Well, if you wanted to say something, may as well," Greg replied, focused on his work himself but with his headphones off.

I nervously looked around. My heartbeat grew faster at the very idea of telling him. I learned very quickly not to be blunt, and even though I wasn't always a fan of Greg's attitude, he was still a dear friend that I didn't want to lose. At the same time, I was going crazy. I needed to tell someone, even if they weren't going to be the one to free use me.

"So, uh..." I began clumsily. "It's really private stuff, if you get what I mean."

Greg, uncharacteristically, looked around the room too. He looked back at me and gave me a muted smile. "We may as well be alone," he confirmed after noting his surroundings. "Private, like, bad news, or private like, it's about other people, or private like, you hooked up with a guy?"

"I guess mostly the third one?" I admitted. "But I didn't hook up with a guy. But, um, do you ever... you know, hook up with people?"

"If you want the honest answer, I used to," Greg admitted. He didn't need to fake playing it cool. He just was relaxed and confident talking about it. I squeezed my legs together, remembering all the times I came to his topless beach trip pictures. "You know how Tiffany and I were kind of on-and-off?"

I nodded, flushing a little.

"Well, even when we were off, we were kind of friends with benefits. Ultimate compliment, I guess. Even when she didn't want to be my girlfriend, she still wanted my-" He turned to look at me. "I mean... sorry, that's crass."

"Crass is okay. I can handle crass. Be crass," I said a little too quickly. Wow, I was not acting as smoothly as I could have been.

He noticed. His eyes lingered on me for a bit, then he continued. "Okay, so, oversharing alert..." He glanced at me, but I said nothing, so he continued. "I'm pretty gifted down there. Tiff still wanted my dick after we broke up the first time, and it kinda became this complicated on-and-off thing where we kept going, 'hey, if we're having sex, may as well be boyfriend and girlfriend again.' Then we remembered we had zero actual romantic feelings for each other." He sat back and chuckled. "Every single time. We managed to forget like three or four times. So we just stopped trying to be a couple and, y'know, did it every few days or weeks or whatever. We actually only stopped a month ago. She's seeing some new guy. Part of me is bummed out, but part of me is like, 'yes, I can move on, I'm a free man,' you know? It was like, I couldn't actually have sex with anyone else as long as I was with her, even if we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend."

I nodded, squeezing my legs together again. "Yeah, that makes sense."

"So, what's your story? I mean, unless it changed, you don't date. Did you just find some guy you want to keep on the down low?" I didn't say anything, so he stopped working and turned to me with a cheeky grin. "If it's private, I won't make fun of you. The others will never know. It can just stay between us."

I looked at him for a bit, nervously exhaling. "I can tell you, but... if I do, you have to promise that. And promise not to judge me. Even if it turns out you can't help me out, you either don't change how you treat me or I kill myself."

"Damn, this sounds intense," Greg muttered. "No need to get defensive. Just say it." I paused for a long time, just facing the computer screen, and Greg's eyes followed mine. He shrugged. "Or type it."

I liked that idea more. I nodded slowly, then pulled up a blank word file. My fingertips landed on top of the keys, not hitting a single key yet, and Greg watched intently as my jaw trembled. I chuckled in nervousness, and turned to him. "Don't look as I'm typing," I softly ordered. "I'll let you know when I'm ready."

He shrugged and turned back to his computer, still working. I waited for a minute or so, making sure he truly was working, then started typing.

I was wondering if you wanted to help me. So, I have needs, and they've been growing lately. I really need someone to hook up with, but not a stranger who can get feelings or think I'm someone I'm not, then try to out me to the whole school if it turns bad.

I want someone to use me. I don't even want a friend with benefits. I want to be used, like someone's personal sex toy. If you say yes, you can have me and use my body any time you want. Preferably, don't even acknowledge it. Anytime we're alone (and we can hang out whenever), just start touching me. I'll always want it. And even if I don't look like I want it, use me anyway.

Just let me know if you don't want that. We can forget I ever said this. But if you say no and bring this up to anyone, I will jump out the fucking window.

Concise? Enh, could be better. If I had more time I would have written a shorter speech. Once I looked it over, I squeezed my eyes shut, poked Greg in the shoulder, then buried my head in my hands.

My pulse pounded in my ears. My pussy radiated heat, its needy pulse like a second heart. I didn't dare look up, feeling the warmth and hearing the breathing from Greg, leaning in to read the paragraph. After an eternity and a half, I felt him reach forward and type something -- couldn't have been longer than a sentence -- then move back, poking me in the shoulder in turn.

I slowly removed my face from my hands and looked at the screen, seeing three paragraphs... he wrote all that...? Oh, wait, they were my paragraphs. Duh. I looked at the bottom and saw he added four words.

sure lol, sounds fun 😉

I couldn't help but start laughing when I read that. Not even like a 'haha' laugh, just like, the motions of a laugh but completely out of shock. Panic. I was having a panic attack. That was it.

Luckily, it was pretty minor, so I did my best to calm down, and quickly added an addendum.

Just for the record, go slow and be patient. I'm a virgin, and I've never done anything like this. I will probably make a few mistakes.

Greg watched as I typed this part, and it seemed to actually be the part that concerned him the most for whatever reason. He looked at me, not even attempting to hide the concerned confusion on his face, and started typing again.

youre a virgin but you want someone to just start touching you or fucking you with no warning? no offense but you dont even know your own body yet. you should prob have youre first time before doing this sex toy thing.

I glared at him for a bit, before putting my hands on the keyboard, never taking my eyes away from him as I typed.

your*

He grinned, but reached forward.

im serious.

I rolled my eyes. I thought boys were the ones to be too simplistic and black-and-white about sex, not the ones to make things complicated.

Okay then, during our first time I'll light a candle. I don't give a fuck who I lose my virginity to. Do you remember who you played your first video game with? It means the same thing to me.

It was his turn to roll his eyes.

im not being sentimental, dumbass. im saying that you need to know how to walk before you run. you need to know how sex works before you start breaking its rules. do you remember how bad you were when you played your first video game? imagine you played it on hard mode.

I had a steely face on, but even after he retracted his arms, I remained, digesting what he meant. I could feel him looking at me, so I reached my hands forward again.

So free use sex is normal sex on hard mode, and I should have sex normally first?

He didn't bother to reply via text. He just nodded. "Definitely," he added, breaking the spell of us not talking. "Trust me, I'm not being sentimental. Future You is going to thank you. Otherwise, you'll get confused, or miss some important cues, or think one thing is something when it's actually another... Like, no offense, but just take it from a guy who's actually been there before. You can't go from zero to a hundred. That's not me challenging you, that's me saving you from getting confused and also from being..." He leaned in and whispered. "...Bad at sex." He leaned back.

I whispered too, without leaning in. "How bad can I be if I'm just a toy and other people are the ones using me?"

"Trust me," he said simply. "If you want me to show you the ropes, let's just meet at my place. I can do tomorrow after school."

I marveled at him. "You really are good at seeing this as just a transaction thing," I commented as I closed the text file, my confession lost to the heavens like Firefly Season 2.

He shrugged, and gestured to my computer. "You made your intentions clear, I guess," he admitted. "Plus, this is basically like being with Tiff, except we're actually being honest when we say there's nothing romantic there." He paused, then pointed at me with a serious expression, and I nodded. His expression softened. "Then yeah, it's easy. The biggest thing is just getting you comfortable with it. Not the idea, the actual action. It needs to come second nature to you."

I chuckled darkly. "I have a funny feeling it will."

Greg slowly grinned at me.

***

I never would have admitted this to him in a million years, but Greg was right. I was nervous as fuck walking into his house the next day. If I was a gambler, I would have bet he was a little nervous too, especially since we knew each other for years and we were about to cross this line together. He was too proud to tell me, but I could also tell he was excited. I bet he wanted me for a while.

We sat in his room and made dumb small talk for a bit before we quieted down, looking at each other and chuckling like dummies. I couldn't bring it up. I couldn't be the one to bring it up. I wanted to, but couldn't.

"Alright, so, you want to be someone's, you know..." Greg cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. I didn't know if he was trying to hide it or not, but he had a boner. "Wow, this is harder than I thought."

"So I can see," I boldly joked, gesturing down to his crotch. "And it's not anyone in particular. I just wanna be someone's..." I shivered. "...Sex toy."

Greg was particularly interested in my first comment, following my eyes down to his bulge. He was definitely hard, and clearly not lying about being big. "Heh, yeah, may as well start with that," he admitted, grabbing his bulge. "So, ever seen one in person?"

I shook my head no, staring right at it.

"Ever wanted to?" he asked, smiling hungrily.

I lowered an eyebrow. "What do you think, genius?" I asked sarcastically.

"I'm just trying to set the mood," he said exasperatedly. "I already have to guide your ass through this. Now I gotta deal with attitude too." He stood up. "Just tell me you wanna see it."

I smiled, my sarcasm never leaving my face. "Yes, I want to see it."

Greg, my friend for years, the guy that never knew I fingered myself to his social media posts, removed his pants and his underwear in one fell swoop. With less hesitation than I thought someone that nervous would have, he revealed his boner to me, bobbing right in front of my face.

Anytime it wasn't bobbing, it was almost perfectly still, held in place, almost painfully hard. I hadn't seen one in person until now, but his looked... impressive. A thick shaft leading up to the crown of his dick, a pinkish-purple head pulsating with need. "Huh," I said out loud. "Cool."

Greg laughed. "'Cool,'" he repeated. "We're going to have to work on what you say to a guy."

Greg was never not going to be Greg. I was almost annoyed he was going to be the first one to get free access to me. Still, I couldn't deny my heart was beating faster now that I got to see his dick. The smell of it was beginning to overpower my senses. I was going to get to fuck someone, and then I could be someone's plaything. I wanted so badly to be a plaything. I wanted to be owned and used.

"So, should I do the same thing?" I clumsily asked. "I mean, you showed me yours..."

He chuckled condescendingly. "That's the idea, Ariel."

I gave him a look. "If you're going to get to use me, you could at least be grateful," I nearly barked. "You want this too. Cool it with the attitude."

Against my expectations, he just widened his smile. "If you really want to be used, this attitude should turn you on," he pointed out.

"Yeah well it doesn't," I fired back. "I don't know what I'm doing. Actually support me instead of being condescending."

"Alright, alright," he soothed, holding his hands out in front of him. "Well then, I'll try to give you the full treatment." Without warning, he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me in close. "What's the ruling on kisses?"

I hadn't considered that, but my brain was being overwritten as I felt Greg's warm hands on my sides. I had zero romantic attraction to the guy, especially since he proved he couldn't even want me sexually without being a bit of a jerk, but the sexual energy in the air was still overwriting my brain. I could feel my hormones clouding my judgment in real time, and barely squeaked out: "Not on the lips."