All Comments on 'While You Sleep'

It's still a Stang story, with exaggerated characters and barely believable situations, but that's what we read your stories for. And thanks for keeping the politics as neutral as possible, that helps a lot. This one, I think, is close to Billie Jean for pure fun reading. Well done.

That was quite the adventure story. I hope to read more of your stuff soon.

You could be making money writing stories. Why do you just give it to us for free? Not that I am complaining. I enjoy your stories.

but this is about the only 12 page story I've hung around long enough to finish in one read! Five stars; earned by keeping me on the edge of my seat through the entire piece.

I found myself rooting for your hero (and heroine) until the final page.

Great story! Very entertaining, and I lust for more...

Regards,

H -

Thanks for sharing a great story.

At least that's what we call the program in the UK, and by the way, he's called the Stig, not Sig. Jeremy Clarkson? I ask you! Great story by the way, and definitely one of your better ones.

I really cant get pass that. leave your kid( a girl, at that) at a whorehouse while you go adventuring......wow. nice priorities.

In every branch of the service you have your slackers, Rick was not one of them and it cost him dearly. Reading the story I had no clue until the end that Rick has anything left in the tank to give. IN reading the story, there were lines that can be quoted in every relationship in life, "all you think about is yourself" in reference to Rick's wife. Nice story and can be classified as one of the best. Thank you sharing!

Well written story, although it used the standard SS06 cliché: the dumb cheating wife.

As a Top Gear affectionado I immediately recognized the names... Agents Jeremy Clarkson and James May? Agent Richard Hammond! LOL! But where was agent Stig? ROFL! That was a huge oversight! Ha ha! A pithy though May bought the farm... he's my favorite Top Gear character.

To Britease: Sig is short for Sig Sauer, which is the gun the USSS uses.

aways makes the best story lines. Good Job Here. TK U MLJ LV NV

Initially I was not sure that I would read it because you gave up the whore on the first page... It sounded sort of shallow.. But suddenly I was into and happy, until I reached the end. Sure it is soapy. But it is fun! TU

I was just happy that it wasn't a reconcile at all cost story ( I fucking hate those stories) I was a bit disappointed that it wasn't a BTB story because if there ever was a cum slut gutter trash whore wife who needed burning -- Danielle the cum dump is one . I thought the story was awesome, it had a couple of whores, a princess, a king-- it was like a ghetto version of a fairy tale story. I absolutely was on the edge of my seat during the action parts--hopeing Rick & millie didn't get kill. The wife is the biggest whore you've ever written about. I actually felt a little sorry for her because obviously she wasn't taught any better. Her mother was whore so she passed that trait on to Danielle , I was a bit afraid that Danielle would pass this on to her own daughter. I thought the divorce settlement was way too fucking generous, rick should've let the whore earn her own way. She failed to take responsibility for the chaos she's created, she blamed Rick for turning her into a cheap gutter trash whore. I don't understand why Rick didn't request full custody after catching her with neighbor. Great story I enjoyed the length as well I opened a bottle of wine just to read this story. Can't wait for next weeks story.

Nuff said ...

Hammond wrote ALMOST on the side of a mustang and now gets top billing from StangStar?

but a worthwhile one. Good action sequences - over the top characters - loads of good, clean fun.

I've criticised some of your tales in the past because they were formulaic and predictable - but I've never questioned the quality of your writing and this one really shows what can be done when you have a good story to tell. Full marks - how could anyone give it any less?

like that in the real world. Vows, honor, duty and country DO HAVE MEANING and their personal integrity takes precedence, because its their JOB. If only that could filter through out all society............TK U MLJ LV NV

Very nice read.

you need to put in the part about how he honored his promise to the guy he borrowed the mustang from- with a new mustang and a visa

Another of your best and I hope the star rating confirms it. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and look forward to your next.

Thank you

...you rushed the epilogue/end. There was many things you could have added there. For example the public reaction to Carmella's way of dealing with the kidnapping and probably added something along the lines of:

Millie: "Even after the ordeal she went through, Carmella still took a trip to NY soon after the kidnapping where she attended a party dressed in the shortest of skirts and a very tight and short shirt. She disappeared after the party and the media reported that she had probably been kidnapped all over again. No ransom was asked and she reappeared five days later. That same day dozens of hours of video were uploaded in several sites and filesharing services where it's shown what happened during the time after the party and the time she reappeared. In the videos it is shown how she was taken to at least eleven different locations to perform in multiple gangbangs. This was probably a result of videos leaked where she was willingly gangbanged by the pacmanistanians. The videos in both instances went viral overnight. At least now the public can no longer make a comparison between us."

Something along those lines.

Do you call this good writing?

I don't. You have no class whatsoever.

This could be a movie of the week. I agree with a previous commenter. You need a follow on having Rick and Millicent return to Piotr giving him a new Mustang.

Overall, a very good read.

Well written and the action scenes well presented. Thanks for the entertainment.

Nice but what did James May ever do to you?

Sic

Love the feel and flow of your stories. They are fun to read and well writen. You are one of the Authors I look forward to your submissions. Your new stories have had me skipping breakfast and speeding to work many mornings as I spent time reading them. Keep up the good work.

I'm normally hesitant to read your longer stories because they take up so much time to read, but this one kept me hooked from the beginning and with the action and relationship, never let up. Keep up the good work!

it was a good read, a niece fairy tale .when was the last time a secret service agent married the presidents daughter.. good but far out

This is one of the best stories on this site. I have read everything that you have written and each story gets better and better. Keep them coming.

This makes up for trashing my profession last week; great read. Thanks.

loved the top gear reference,but you missed the stig...

The end seemed.a bit rushed,I would have cut some out of the middle to make room for more end,like piotr getting his reward.I also didn't like Danielle's end,having her

disappear,presumably dead,is a btb and misplaced,She still was.Danielle's mom,and while reconciliation was a no no she could have found herself and redeemed.herself...but that is me.

Mind = Blown. I couldn't stop reading and will probably read it over and over. Definitely one of your best. Id like to see more like this in the future. Thanks again for a great read.

Nicely done again Stang! I found the pacing MUCH better in this one, even being as long as it was. I usually find on long stories I read the first couple pages and then just start skimming the rest till I reach the end. Not this time.

I found your story very entertaining and appreciated the freshness of the plot. I enjoyed that you placed the majority of focus on something other than simply the whore and a divorce.

but it was early on and done by herself

Another very entertaining tale from SS06. When does the movie come out?

A very much improved story this one. Very well paced with good plot twists and turns.

This is much more like the SS06 we have come to know and love

Many of the comments are "right on." This was a great story and shows your capability to write a well thought out story. I really enjoyed all of it. I read most of your stories, but this one brings you to a new, higher and better level. Keep on developing great new stories.

Solid story line...great heros and villains...with a happy ending. Not much else i could ask for in a short story. I am waiting for the next one.

But what the fuck.....PACMANISTAN!?!?!?* Was that country founded in 1981??

James May no! Jeremy sure we all would understand that. And Richard a hero? Is this Richard writing this? Good story line, it will have Chris Pine playing as Richard, better than Diehard 6.

Another good story from ss06, though thats never really a surprise any more heh.

I do have a little bit to comment on, and while in the past I have posted on here about some of the people who seem to want to do nothing but rip this author to just stop reading his stuff, today I feal the need to post a small misgiving I have myself. I only offer this as MY view on this work and a few others, and only as how it pertains to how I view stories.

This story like many other ss06 storys that goes over say 6 pages seems to have had the ending rushed. There was such a great buildup, and then the action and true meat of the story kicks in, and then the ending was just kinda poof, followed by the quick epilog.

This may just be the authors preference to end this story like that or how he thought it sounded best, it just feals like it cheapens what really was a great story into just a good story. SS does this in some stories, yet in others the ending seems just as complete as the buildup and the action of the story. This one could have easily (and just in my own opinion should have been) 16 pages or more instead of the 12 it turned out to be. The first 8 pages had a good flow, and the last 4 just felt like to much was being crammed in so what should have been the ending was cut in half.

The Sisters of Fate was another story like this one, great setup, great lead in, great action, ending was just so abrupt. Setting the hook to leave them wondering can be a good thing, but a short changed ending just doesnt feal right.

A story like The Love Boat some people would say the ending was rushed, some would say it settled just perfect, some would say its over 3 paragraphs I'm not reading it heh. Personally I thought that ending was a little rushed but not to much.

Billy Jean is another long story but has an interesting opening, and interesting meaty section, and the ending is spelled out and brought about at the same pace as the rest of the story. Perssonally its not one of my favorite of SS's bunch, but hey its not the writing, I just never really could get into the damn thing, to this day I honestly dont know why, i've tried to read it several times and just can never truly get into it.

Hostile Takeover is another long (even two parts as it is) story that was written with a great lead in, a great meaty section with some action, along with a well done, yet quick and satisfying ending. The story is very well crafted and flows from begining to end. It may have been even more carefully taken and looked at because of the borrowing of two of ss06's favorite authors characters for the 2nd half of the story. The reason matters not, in the end the story had a fantastic ending without skimping and even sets a nice little hook right at the end with the... sorry wont post any spoilers :)

I could sight a few more ss06 stories for both sides of the aisle. In the end, its just kind of frustrating as a reader to read one story that has such great endings, and then read another story with a rushed or way to incomplete ending when they both come from the same great author.

In the end this is only my personal bitch, I still enjoyed the story, I still give it a 5, I would still have read it even if someone said *hey your pet peve about storys is about to come up again*. I've kinda learned to brace myself every time a read ss06's forward and he says its gonna be a long one, that it might happen. Once again it doesnt mean i didnt read it and enjoy it (I had to hit the crapper somewhere around page 5, yet I sat and finished the story in one sitting before heading for the can.. tmi? lol).

Once again Star thank you for another great story, keep up the great work and me and many others will keep on reading it. Please dont take the above bitching as slagging your work, this is simply my litterary pet peve nothing more and nothing less. Take it as constructive criticism, or mutter piss off you commy bitch under your breath and move onto the next comment. In the end I simply felt the need to say my bit.

I don't read LW stories because they seem depressing but after hearing about this author I decided to give it a try. I was more than pleasantly surprised. Usually when you read a good book you wonder when the movie is coming out and who will they get to fill certain roles. I can't wait to see this as a movie.

Great writing. Amazing how your stories take a reader through terrible sadness, humor, and even pity for a sick woman cheating on her husband. The strongest points in this story were the pity I felt for how screwed up Danielle, Rick's love for his daughter, and his sense of duty and honor in protecting Millie. All touched on very masculine emotions. Unfortunately, this is not the way life works out for most people. Most guys do not have a great job, and they do not have a young beautiful woman to salve their wounded souls. Most guys get up and grind out another day, supporting their families and eating shit from their ungrateful (and sometimes cheating) wives. They love their children and spend as much time as possible with them. They never are recognized in any way. They go to their graves with their kids having to pay for a death notice while crooks, politicians and other assorted scum get a full page obituary. These men are the foundation of our society and they are largely disparaged today by the liberal media, government and other institutions of our decaying society. These are the men that built the greatest civilization known to man, only to have it pissed on by a bunch of new age fuck ups. Sorry about the reality check. Great story while it lasted.

Richard Hammond ( the hamster )

Jeremy Clarkson ( Loudmouthed Egotistical moron )

James May ( Petrol Head )

the only one missing was the Stig for you to have included the entire cast of Top Gear ( a UK motoring programme ) never mind our PM suddenly becoming the President of USA, It did make me smile to see the use of the names in another outstanding story from your good self.

Please do keep up the good work though I do feel it would have been better if Clarkson had been killed off rather than May but that is only my humble opinion.

Pure Unadulterated Talent! Best on the site by far. Is there a song writer hidden there somewhere

Keep them coming!!

one nit to pick. You need to drop/rework the scene where Rick is being berated for his beard and she sticks up for him. There is a common personality thread that runs through all of us who serve/served on elite units. To have had her "save" him like that would have been mortifying to Rick and would have been a heavy blow to his reputation and pride amongst his peers as well as within himself. It would have been much more likely to cause resentment and drive a wedge between him and Millie than to draw them together. Additionally, it seems so incongruous for the Rick you described to have had a scruffy beard under those circumstances anyway.

Very well done and interesting. A copy of quibbles, one - an unlikely but moderately important story element, the other - an unfortunate editorial choice.

He admits NOT being a presidential guard. Mostly foreign dignitary assignments. (Probably NEVER in the counterfeit arm of SS) LadyOne would NOT have met him before, certainly not to the degree to have noticed his exceptional skill and dedication. Thus, she would NOT have pointed him out specifically to MillieMod.

Minor quibble - there are NO casual agents in SS ... not StupidAgent, who disses MillieMod while LadyOne is present; and certainly not the aidE of the assigning officer who promptly suspended StupidAgent!

Stang does a masterful job of drifting Sweetie back to sanity and respect for her hubby, and recognition of how she had been steadily aggravating Hubby's rejection! But our SStar had assured us in the preface that it was NOT a reconciliation tale. Thus the tension that Hubby MIGHT, for sake of his daughter's next decade, elect to work out a path to allow Sweetie back into his life rather than pair up with a woman of substance who reciprocates his interest! Of course, it would NOT change the ending, but the eventual Rick/Millie pairing would not have been SO obvious.

Nonetheless, a superb job! 5*

I like your stories although I will agree with some of your critics insofar your preface was somewhat different to what then happened in your story. Still even reading your preface was fun!

Keep up the good work.

Christian country ending in STAN, Please. Have some intestinal fortitude and make it a Rag Head country, it is in the middle of Ragheadastan. New element that creates electricity out of Solvent? Try to stay on this planet. Leaving the Daughter in the Whore House, come on. All of that said, the story had a good catch and flowed well. You might let your heroes date a little after they dump their cheating spouses, they deserve a life after the hell your stories put them through.

Keep these stories coming, definitely well researched and plotted out.

When i started this story, it seemed kind of boring and hard to get into. However, the story seemed to draw me into the adventure. I couldn't "put it down" so to speak. There was more action than in some of your recent stories and the action was very exciting. Thanks for another SS06 classic. 5*

I thought it was one of your best. thanks for making it just one story and not multiple chapters like some do.

By the way, did the guy get a new mustang and a visa?

Thanks for another great story. I look forward to your next one.

What happened to Camilla? Married royalty did she?

Did Piotr get his new Mustang, or a Visa?

Well done, SS. This is solidly good writing, so good that I think we'd benefit if you took the pressure off yourself to submit stories so frequently, and concentrate on producing this level of quality regardless of how time consuming it is. Just sayin . .

Pacmanistan...Fundamental Christian religion...Too funny! Not quite so off-the-wall as a lot of your recent efforts. Perhaps you could make future wives just your average cheaters; maybe even a little slutty, instead of the Total Whores you seem to favor recently. Looking forward to future stories.

A future tale should, in a kind of offhanded way, mention Piotr becoming a citizen of the USA, gaining a new mustang, and becoming close friends with Rick.

I really enjoyed this one. Good sense of humor, interesting story, and well told. Nice job!

The story was QUITE long but it finally came out right. A lot of the story was wasted on danialle, but it turned out OK.

I always enjoy your stories and this was no different! Thanks for the good read man!!!

loved the top gear jabs with the names and a interesting if differnet story well done

Many thanks for sharing your story with us. Always enjoy your stories be they long or short. Keep up the great work.

The Sig Sauer P229 is a very nice handgun and there are many local, state, and federal agencies that allow their people to carry them. However, in a .357 caliber, the magazines hold 12 rounds each. Not to mention that a Secret Service agent would have the plus one in the chamber. It's called 12 + 1. So technically speaking, Rick would have a total of 25 rounds rather then the 20 you ascribed to him. He also seems to be a guy that would be prepared with a backup revolver in an ankle holster. A nice lightweight S&W also in a .357 with a couple of 5 round strips in his back pocket. That would give him an extra 15 rounds of .357. For a total of 40 rounds.

I see that you probably did some research at the Sig Sauer website and it said 10 or 12 round magazine capacity. The 10 rounds were for the larger .40 magazines.

For the the story line itself, I liked it. Stories with an underdog who has gone through the wringer meeting and ending up with the fairy-tale Princess are always great stories. I gave it five stars. Like I've said before, you really do need to do a little better research when it comes to firearms. Why was the bad guys Glock empty though? Since a kill order had been put out on them it would make sense for ALL the bad guys to actually be armed with loaded weapons.

Stange was too nice for danielle when he had her husband pay her 35K for four yrs. why? He had the chance to throw the bitch in jail for a 20 yrs and then he would not have to pay her anything. This was too wimpish. Stang, I dont want to pry on your private life but you need to get out of your divorce. Your ex cheated on you, u said and still you glorify cheaters in a way??? Come on man, be a man!

You Should Have Titled It, Like Mother Like Daughter. Talk about following in someones foot step WOW...

Mustang man, you have set the bar so high that whatever you write from now on, it will be compared to this great story.

story was great i give 5 stars .

long story but i never bored reading this story

for one who told u to stop write stories and get life for them i like to say u r one who need to get life if u dont like StangStar06's stories dont read it there r thousand other stories r on Literotica and new added time to time

Great writing. Tell Miko well done as always.

That was an hour I will never get back. 3

Awesome, love your longer ones!

.. - ... / -. --- - / -... .- -.. / .- / -... .. - / - . .-.. . --. .-. .- .--. .... . -..

Great story - it is almost painful to read the stupid wife though. Did you have to kill her though? Oh well 5

Please stop writing. Seriously.

that read like an old school comic book. Fine tale!

This is about the best story I have read on lit

Thanks

especially if you watch the UK version of "Top Gear"

Either it was too obvious and nobody even deigns to mention it, or everybody missed it.

Pacmanistan? Seriously? Energy Pellets? I thought Pacman ATE pellets, not make em? Heh.

Anyway, it is late, and I should go sleep. It was an enjoyable read.

Best stort on Lit ever.

Connie her slut Mom -

Milli - her Dad and maybe her Mom too -

Really good job engrossing - almost too much of a draw as I read it -

Nice work with the cultural contrasts and making the story revolve around them - we all knew where the trouble was going to come from but it was still a fun ride - the rescue was perfect -

Wonderful, absolutely wonderful story and also very well written, StangStar06!

Thank you very much for a terrific read!

5/5!

I loved it. Great story

Your stories are long (not a complaint) but engrossing, too engrossing to put down easily. Great job as usual by both you and MTB. Keep it up!!!

i thought love is for suckers was your best piece. i take that back. this story would give qhml1 hdk and dqs1 a complex.

What twists and turns! Oh the the whore gets her due. What more can you ask for.

Keep it going. You have a real talent.

Awesome is an understatement.... Just loved this story and its plot.... And MTB superb work....just felt like reading a script.

This story is definitly one of the mustang man's best efforts. Well done...

Good story, ending was lackluster though

Tongue in cheek, right? You did it again Stanger! I love reading your stories, and again, this one is right up at the top. Thanks Buddy, once again.

The best lines are --

What I need right now is a bunch of men and some big God damned guns to kill all of those mother fuckers and..."

"That would be where I come in," said a man who appeared to be a soldier but was dressed all in black. "I'm your gun," he said. "Tell me where to shoot first."

"Let's go," I said.

"No ma'am," he said. "You have to stay here. But tell me where to go."

"Shit, just follow the sounds of the screaming tires and the gunshots," I said. "But I AM going with you."

"Captain, you can't just go in there guns a blazing," said the Ambassador. "We need to talk and try to avoid..."

"Watch me," said the captain.

The Captain got it - did it - left it - I loved it -

The whole story is a good movie plot - Thanks -

You do the best stupid wife.

Although sexist in demeanor the story had adventure intrigue romance and drama. It doesn't get better than this.

Sometimes it's OK to just enjoy a story for what it is. A good story.

Rick was a true hero. Only a hero can walk out of a disease ridden, rat infested shack, and leave his 8 year old daughter there with armed drug dealers, drug users, and people having all sorts of sex just because he is late for work. And he left her in that place for 3 fucking years without calling CPS? A real hero alright. His character was about as likeable as his wifes after the first page.

some cow dung...

it's nice to see the Top Gear refs.

a great story as always, keep up the good work !

StangStar06, thank you for another super-excellent story!

A galaxy of stars

I am so happy that your hobby is writing rather than golf.....Very well done as always.

One of your best!! You really took the reader into Pacmania.