White Castle Christmas

"But you're the assistant manager right?"

"Si."

"So when he ain't here, you're the fucking manager and it's your chair."

"I do not think so..."

"And I am your guest, so I can sit in your chair."

"Missus," he said, "I know it's a foolish rule but I need this job."

"Do you think I'm gonna tell anybody about this?"

Julio looked at her with a puzzled expression. "About what, Missus?"

"First of all, stop calling me Missus. Then come over here and find out."

She sat up, put her feet on the floor and patted the top of the desk.

Julio leaned back and looked around the kitchen as if he suspected someone might be lurking there.

Clover patted the desk top again. "The boss told you not to sit in his chair, but he didn't say shit about sitting on his desk, did he?"

"No. I suppose he did not."

She pushed the chair back until it banged into the wall. "So have a seat."

Julio bit his lip, seeming lost in thought, then sat on the edge of the desk.

"Dude, lose that dumbass apron."

Julio reached behind his back and untied the apron. Before he could pull it over his head, Clover had his belt unbuckled. He watched with an expression of amazement as she deftly unsnapped his waistband, yanked down his zipper, and pulled his cock free.

"Do all the men in Columbia have big dicks?" she asked as she wrapped her hand around it.

"Si," Julio said, "It is well known in Latin America, Missus."

"You call me Missus again and I might bite it off," she said. She flicked her tongue at the head, then wrapped her lips around it and began to suck.

Julio briefly lifted his hips from the desk and tugged his pants and shorts down to his thighs.

Clover cupped his balls in her left hand, massaging them, while her right hand stroked his shaft. She took it in her mouth again, but almost immediately, she heard a chime ringing.

She raised her head and asked Julio, "What the fuck is that?"

Julio had a look of panic on his face. "Someone is at the drive-through," he said, "I must go serve them."

He started to rise, but she put her hands on his hips and pushed him back down. "No, fuck that," she said, "Stay right there."

She got up and rushed to the dining room. Roxanne and Sporty were sitting in the booth, kissing.

"Hey, you fucking lovebirds, I need help here," she shouted.

When they looked at her in surprise, she said, "There's somebody in the fucking drive-through. Either of you guys ever work at a fast food place?"

"I worked at Burger King in high school." Sporty said.

"Well, pry Roxy's hand off your whopper and get the fuck in here and find out what they want."

She disappeared back into the kitchen. Roxanne and Sporty looked at each other and shrugged.

"I'll give it a try," Sporty said. He slipped out of the booth and headed toward the kitchen, Roxanne following close behind.

"It's like somebody told Santa they wanted a shit show for Christmas," she muttered.

Sporty went to the drive-through window and looked around. "Fuck. I don't know how to use this touchscreen shit," he said.

"Can you at least talk to the guy?" Roxanne asked.

"Yeah, that shit looks the same. Hold on."

He was distracted by the sounds coming from the manager's office. "What's she doing in there?" he asked.

"Sounds like she's sucking his dick."

"Damn, she's loud, too. Sounds like somebody got a rag stuck in their wet-vac."

He pressed several buttons on the communications panel, but nothing happened. He fiddled with the volume knob, and clicked the headset on and off, all to no avail. Suddenly, he was startled by a blasting horn, and looked over to see a white pick up truck right outside the window The driver, a large, red faced, bearded man, was glaring at him.

"Honey, I don't think that's Santa Claus," Roxanne said.

Sporty slid the window open.

"I've been out here trying to order for ten fucking minutes," the man shouted.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Sporty said. "We got some kind of computer problem."

The man looked past him at Roxanne.

"Looks to me like the problem is you're having some kind of party in there."

"Naw, she's the manager. She come in to try to fix it."

"So why isn't she fixing it?"

"Sir," Roxanne said, "I'm sorry, but there is nothing we can do about it until the tech guys get here."

"I worked to midnight on Christmas Eve. All I wanted was some burgers for when I get home."

"I'll see what I can get for you, no charge."

She went to the grill. There were onions simmering in the corner and pre-cooked patties in a warming pan. She found a package of buns and put a half dozen on the grill to brown.

The man tapped his fingers impatiently on the door of his car.

"This is some bullshit," he barked at Sporty, "You got something for me or not?"

"Roxy is fixing it up right now."

"The manager's name is Roxy?"

"Yeah, she was named for her grandmom."

Roxanne's glasses kept steaming up from the grill's heat. She did her best to assemble the burgers, but one got no onions, one had triple pickle and some were drenched with mustard and ketchup while others got no more than a drop or two.

She boxed the burgers, stacked them in a bag, and handed it to Sporty.

"About time," the man grumbled. "What about a Coke? I need something to drink."

"Coming right up!" Roxanne said with a big smile. As she poured a Coke from the dispenser she thought, I hope those burgers give you the shits, asshole.

Sporty handed him the drink and cheerily said, "Merry Christmas, sir."

The man growled. "Yeah, right. I guess the two of you can get back to whatever you were doing now."

"Thank you, sir," Sporty said, "But we already finished that. Appreciate the thought though."

The man glared at them, muttered something underneath his breath, and drove off.

"What did he say?" Roxanne asked.

"I didn't catch in, but I think one of the words started with an F and one with an N."

"Feliz Navidad?"

"Most likely not."

"Should we figure out how this works, in case someone else pulls up?"

"How long Julio gonna take getting his nut?"

Roxanne shrugged.

"Hold up," Sporty said, "I got a better idea."

He walked to the back door, opened it and, looking outside, flicked a couple of light switches on the walk.

"There you go," he said.

"What did you do?"

"Turned off the outside lights, so the place looks closed."

Clover took Julio's cock into her mouth until she felt his pubic hair tickling her nose, then swallowed. That will keep him from trying to go see what's happening in the kitchen, she thought.

When she was out of breath, she rose up, releasing his cock with a loud popping sound. She circled the head with her tongue a few times, then dove down and swallowed again. It was late, she was tired, her jaw was starting to ache and her belly was rumbling in complaint over its load of greasy hamburger.

She sucked in her cheeks as hard as she could, and Julio exhaled loudly and raised his hips from the desk. As she lifted her head, Julio spurted into her mouth. She swallowed most of it, then picked up his apron off the desk and wiped her face with it, surreptitiously spitting out the rest of his load.

He leaned forward, his head hanging low, while he recovered his breath. Clover stood up, and loudly burped.

"Sorry about that," she said.

Julio stood, pulling up his pants.

"It is okay, Missus."

They walked into the kitchen. Julio immediately noticed that it was dark outside the drive through window.

"You friends, I think they turned off the lights," he said, "I will have to turn them on and to see what else they might have done."

"Okay, well, Merry Christmas, dude."

"And to you, Missus." Clover turned away, but he added, "Missus?"

She looked back.

"Maybe you will come for hamburgers again."

Clover looked him over. "Yeah, I might."

Roxanne and Sporty were sitting in the booth when Clover returned to the dining room. Roxanne was leaning against him, her head on his shoulder and her eyes shut.

Clover sat down across from them. "You guys about ready to go?" she asked.

Roxanne sat up straight and stretched. "Yeah we might as well," she said.

Sporty looked out the window. "That sleet shit turned into real snow," he said. He nudged Roxanne. "Let me up, baby."

She stood and he slid out of the booth. "Give me your keys," he said, "I'll get your car warmed up."

She fished her keys out of her purse and handed them to him as he put on his coat.

Watching him walk out, Clover said, "When a man cleans the snow off your car for you, he's getting serious. Especially if he does it after you fuck him."

"I think asking me to come with him to his mom's house for Christmas shows that pretty good, too."

"So, stop being a fucking pussy about it. You think you're going to find another nice guy who is obviously crazy about you and doesn't give a shit what you do for a living?"

Roxanne was silent for a minute. "It doesn't seem likely, does it?" she said at last.

"Do you think he was serious when he said I could come too?" Clover asked.

"I don't think he would've said it if he didn't mean it. That's not the way he is."

"But I'm gonna have my son with me, do you think that would be okay?"

"So ask him."

Clover stood and they put their coats on and went outside.

A light snow was falling. Sporty already had Roxanne's car cleared and was brushing off his own.

"Hey Sporty," Clover shouted, "In that stuffing, does your mom use the spicy sausage or the regular?"

"What do you think? The spicy, of course."

"So did you mean it when you said I could come."

"I don't say shit I don't mean."

"Is it okay if I bring Hunter?"

"Bitch, you think my mom is gonna turn away a hungry child on Christmas?"

"I guess not."

"You guess right. I'll come by and pick you up after I get Roxanne."

"Thanks, Sporty," she said as she got in the car.

Roxanne walked over to Sporty, put her hands on his chest and kissed him.

"You're a good man," she said.

"Thank you, baby. Just don't tell her that I like her, okay?"

"Your mom doesn't call you Sporty, does she?"

"No my brothers and sister call me Sporty. My mom and my aunts call me Erwin."

"You know that when she finds that out, she's going to fuck with you about it for weeks."

Sporty shrugged. "She can consider that a Christmas present."

They kissed again and Sporty said, "You know, I had a lot of girlfriends before, but I never brought one home with me on Christmas."

She patted his cheek, kissed him and said, "I've had a lot of boyfriends before, but I never fucked one in the bathroom at White Castle on Christmas Eve."

She kissed him on the nose and dashed to her car, calling, "See you tomorrow, babe."

"It's about time," Clover said, as Roxanne got into the drivers seat, "I'm freezing my tits off over here."

"That's because they're fake."

"Probably.They should've come with like a heater option."

"I wish I'd known it was a problem, I would have got you one for Christmas."

"Hey, do you think Sporty's mom and aunts and them will wear those big old hats like black ladies like to wear to church?"

"How the fuck should I know? Why don't you walk in and say, hey, how come you black lady aren't wearing your big funny hats?"

"Bitch, I ain't insensitive like that."

"Really? You just sucked a guy's dick because you felt bad about making fun of him being an immigrant."

"And I told him if he comes to the club on New Year's Eve, you'll give him a free dance."

"You did not."

"I told him that when you give a lap dance, you like the guy to stick his thumb up your ass."

"That's okay, I tell everybody that you like to stick your head up your ass."

After quietly watching the snow fall on the silent streets for a minute, Clover asked Roxanne, "If you could eat your own pussy, would you do it?"

"How the fuck do you even think of shit like that?"

"I had an ex-boyfriend who could suck his own dick."

"So why the fuck did he keep you around?"

"He didn't. I told you he's an ex-boyfriend. Hey, you know what we should do?"

"Stop at 7-11 so you can blow the clerk?"

"No. Why don't we drive back through the park?"

"That's actually a great idea," Roxanne said. At the next corner, she turned left onto Broadway and drove to the entrance of City Park.

She turned in and they entered a wonderland of festive lights. All along the Park Road, trees had been wrapped in nets of light, while others displayed clouds of color in their crowns.

Around the first bend in the road they saw a bright display spelling out "Happy Holidays" in ten foot tall letters. Just past it were three towering Christmas trees composed entirely of light; one red, one white and one blue. There were glowing animated figures; chiming bells, waving snowmen, dancing teddy bears. There were strands of lights shaped like wreathes and bows, stockings and candles. Backlit ice sculptures sparkled; snowflakes and stars and nutcrackers and candy canes. There was a menorah and a dreidel and the seven candles of Kwanzaa.

"It makes me feel like a little girl again," Roxanne said.

Clover reached across the console and squeezed Roxanne's hand.

"Merry Christmas, Rhonda," she said.

Roxanne felt her eyes moisten. "Merry Christmas, Charlene."

The last display before the park exit, the grand finale, was a great arc of lights over the road. On the left, Santa rode in his sleigh, overflowing bags of gift boxes and teddy bears behind him. His reindeer stretched along the arc, their legs blinking in a dance across the night sky. At the right end of the display, Rudolph's nose glowed like a beacon.

"Nine!" Clover shouted, "Bitch, count 'em! nine fucking reindeers!"

"Rudolph doesn't count."

"He counts in this town."

"Why? Because Parks and Rec says he does?"

Clover sat back, her arms crossed over her chest in triumph. "Nine fucking reindeer," she smirked.

"Eight," Roxanne muttered.

"Nine."

"Eight..."

Author's note: Roxanne, Clover and Sporty also appear in The Gold Dollar Girls and The Gold Dollar Girls Return