The Elf & The DILF

(Usual Disclaimer Time: All the characters in this story are 18 years old or older, and since we're living in the wide wonderful world of porno-land here, where clichés roam free and things might get a little unrealistic from time to time, please remember it's all in good fun.)

(Author's Note: This story is my entry to the Winter Holidays Story Contest 2022, and, well, the first time I've tried out for any contest actually. While it technically references characters and places from my ongoing Senior Year Memories series, this is a STANDALONE spin-off story created for this contest that does not require any knowledge of the series to enjoy; I'm trying to make it its own fun thing and aim to provide all appropriate context. So, while some details may be familiar to longtime readers, it is meant to be accessible to newcomers as well.

Further, I want to congratulate my reader Dan E. for suggesting the name of the male lead (which I drew out of a hat, among other suggestions). As always, I want to give special thanks to fellow Literotica author Lil_kitty for her excellent work as my editor and acting as a second set of eyes on this chapter, and for letting me know what did and didn't work; if you get a chance, please check out her work and drop some stars if you enjoyed, she writes some very hot and fun stories.

And finally, to whatever holidays you celebrate this winter, may they be happy and full of joy. And if you don't celebrate any, well, I still hope you find joy this season!)

***

The Blair Valley Shopping Center had been a great and beautiful mall once, the kind of place that drew holiday shoppers from far and wide with its great deals and wide variety of stores. It looked like the kind of place that once held a multiplex that proudly showed all the newest releases and a food court that smelled of fresh baked Cinnabon and grease, the kind of shopping haven where teens on their first or fiftieth dates would fill the halls with their voices and cheer.

Those days were far behind the Blair Valley Shopping Center. With most of its available shop space half full year-round, and only slightly fuller during the holiday season, it still had the look and feel of a ghost town that was just waiting for the ghosts to move in. It was now known less for the deals and more for the hornet's nest found in the claw machine and that time a couple of janitors were found stabbing each other over a bet to see who could be stabbed the most times before passing out.

Come the holiday season, it got pretty close to restoring some of its former glory. All it took was some tacky, yet traditional, decorations, and most of the imperfections of the mall's interior could be easily forgiven. The speakers, when they actually worked, played a number of different holiday classics (and, for those keeping track at home, 17 different versions of "All I Want for Christmas Is You", though none by Mariah Carey due to licensing costs), and when combined with a few of the seasonal kiosks spraying scents of pine and gingerbread, the air had a vibe that was nearly festive.

However, if you wanted to find true festivity, you had to reach the mall's central rotunda, where you would find the only somewhat ominously titled "Santa's Empire". While mostly a set of fake gingerbread houses and plastic candy canes that would tower over most children, and mounds of fake, vaguely dusty snow, the highlight was a 30-foot-tall, fake Christmas tree that actually looked pretty decent. Its lights sparkled, its ornaments were actually shiny, and so long as you didn't notice the smell of plastic, it could actually be pretty damn convincing.

It was at the base of this tree where the big man sat, on a gleaming throne of flaking faux gold and red velvet. A man in a fairly convincing Santa costume (and a real fluffy white beard, to boot) sat and held court, taking each screaming, wailing, or petrified child who had braved the line to meet him onto his knee and asking all those classic questions about how good they'd been and what they wanted and deftly evading anything related to whether or not he was the real Santa.

Through a quirk in the layout of this arena to meet jolly old Saint Nick, the line splitting parents from children ended a good distance before they actually got to Santa, forcing the adults off to a holding area where they could buy ornaments or overpriced pictures of their kids with Santa.

It was in this holding area where Richard Starling found himself on Christmas Eve, angling to save a few bucks by getting a good shot with his phone.

"Come on... come on... you can do this..." he said, stretching his arm between a pair of fake gingerbread houses and finding what looked like a good angle that he could take advantage of. As a longtime resident of Blair Valley's rival town, Regan Hills, he didn't like spending more time here than he had to, but with the only mall with a Santa that was still open in driving distance, he knew sacrifices had to be made.

That didn't mean he'd be spending more money here than he had to.

His two kids, Kim and Milo, had been on their own for the better part of ten minutes now due to the last-minute Christmas Eve rush, but would likely hit the front of the line pretty soon. At eight years old, Kim was pretty good at keeping her five-year-old brother, Milo, in line, but that wouldn't last much longer, he wagered. His ex-wife, Venna, wanted a picture of each of their kids on Santa's lap, but with the prices the mall was charging, Richard wasn't going to pay them without a fight.

The gingerbread houses had been set up to form a wall between parents and children, but he'd found a gap that was just significant enough that he could get an okay view of Santa if he really stretched his arm and maybe, just maybe if he timed things right...

"Excuse me, sir... you shouldn't do that," a polite, but stern, feminine voice said.

Richard nearly lost his balance as he stepped backward in surprise, trying to keep from falling as he twisted about on one unstable ankle, then throwing his other foot in front for stability, successfully preventing himself from toppling over and landing on the girl who'd distracted him.

This, as it turned out, was for the best. At 39 years of age, Richard was still a fit 6'1", not liable to win any athletics competitions any time soon, but muscular enough that he still managed to hold the dad bod at bay and could keep up with the younger guys when playing basketball at the gym.

The girl he'd nearly knocked over was... well, none of what he was. 5'2" and maybe one hundred pounds soaking wet, the petite blonde would have been crushed. She was a tiny little thing, maybe a college student, maybe even still in high school, with a lean, delicate frame, a cute face only slightly offset by her harsh horn-rimmed glasses (and even harsher scowl for having caught him), and long, shimmering platinum blonde hair tied back in a ponytail.

It was as he got a better look at the girl that Richard had to hold back a laugh, as he had just realized that he'd nearly crushed one of Santa's elves. The green velvet dress she wore was short-sleeved with an almost shorter skirt, showing a lot of leg that was barely covered by the thigh-high, red and white striped socks. With a pointed green hat cocked slightly to one side, and decorative fake pointed ears, she'd have looked as cute as a button if she didn't look so upset with him.

"I'm sorry, Miss... Elf?" he said, trying to hide his embarrassment. "I know this doesn't look good, and that I'm supposed to go through the official channels, but... my ex wants a picture of our kids, and I was just trying to get one and... I'm busted, aren't I?"

"You are. We do have plenty of photo packages, you know, that would more than fit the bill for exactly what you're looking for?" the elf suggested, her tone sharp yet stopping just shy of hostile.

Though she was clearly less than half his age, she had him feeling like he was back at school and had been caught by a particularly fierce librarian. Just, you know, one that was wearing an elf costume that was a few steps shy of being sold in the "naughty" aisle of a costume store.

"I did see that you had photo packages, I was aware of that, and I'm sorry I was screwing around, but... well, you saw how much those cost, right? It's the holidays, and things are kind of tight, and I thought that a nice picture of my kids with Santa might smooth things over with my ex when I drop them off with her later..." Richard rambled, stopping when he realized just how much he'd rambled in front of this complete stranger.

The elf eyed him with that plain, stern look of hers, looking him up and down, her eyes lingering down for a moment, before looking back up again.

"The picture packages are rather exploitative, aren't they?" she proposed, her voice lacking sympathy even if she did seem to agree with him.

"Thoroughly," he agreed, smiling with some hope.

"And it *is* Christmas Eve..." she continued, carefully stroking her chin.

The elf seemed to think about this for a moment, reaching up and twirling a finger through her ponytail and pulling it over her shoulder, resting it against her chest almost as if she were trying to draw his attention to it. Richard shook his head, not wanting to think like a dirty old man and read too much into the intentions of this girl who could not in any way be trying to draw his gaze to her pert chest.

She peered through another gap in the fake gingerbread houses, one that he hadn't thought to look through yet.

"Which children are yours?" the elf asked.

"The girl in the dark blue dress, long, brown hair, and the boy next to her who looks like he's about to tear someone's arms off if he doesn't get toys anytime soon," Richard explained, craning his neck to get a look through the gap he'd been trying to take a picture through.

"I see them," she continued. "And you believe that this will in some way improve your holiday? That it will fill your life with some chance at tidings of comfort and joy?"

Richard thought this girl would have one hell of a future if she ever decided to become a police interrogator. "Greatly... things have been warming between me and my ex lately... and she's holding this Christmas party later tonight, and I'm not invited, but I was hoping if I make a good effort of it, I might win her over and she'll invite me in and we might be able to start patching things up... and I know it sounds insane, but it's Christmas, right? It works in the Hallmark movies, maybe it'll work here..."

The girl smirked, craning her neck to look through the gap in the gingerbread house as more kids moved closer to Santa. "As a child of divorce, I believe your optimism to be futile... but what do I know; I'm only eighteen, and miracles can happen. And let me guess, if you don't manage to patch things up with your ex, you'll be going back to your place, pitiful and alone and crying into your egg nog?"

Anger flashed in Richard, anger that was only slightly alleviated by reminding himself that this girl was young, and that he was a cocky little bastard too when he was that age. She was cute, and likely used to getting away with whatever she wanted because of that... and, yeah, if she tried to play that card with him, he likely would have given in pretty easily too.

So, he let his anger fade before responding, "What kind of an elf are you?"

"A thoroughly fake, albeit entirely perceptive one," she answered coolly. "Am I right?"

He thought about this. "I wouldn't say pitiful-"

"But the rest is true?" the elf continued. "This is important."

Richard sighed, annoyed. "Yes, alright? It's true, you hit the nail on the fu- on the head."

She smirked again, almost amused that she'd nearly gotten him to curse at a kid's event on Christmas Eve.

"Well, we can't allow that... not to a man as hot as you," the elf replied, straightening up. "It is Christmas, after all..."

It was an odd way to put it, nearly as odd as the intense, almost manic look in her dazzling blue eyes that didn't translate to her face, but it sounded like she was almost ready to help him with his miracle.

"Yeah, it is," Richard replied.

She nodded, sharply. "Give me your phone; I'll snap some pictures; better ones than the overpriced pieces of crap we sell here."

He stared at her. "You're serious?"

"Certainly. This job is terrible and doesn't pay me enough to not want to defy their arbitrary restrictions, and it's not like I've got to keep it past tomorrow. I will help you..." she trailed off, looking for a name.

"Richard," he replied.

She grinned. "I will help you, Richard, because it is Christmas, and a guy like you deserves a Christmas wish... and because I have been dying for a way to stick it to my bosses this entire season, those uptight, lecherous prudes..."

While he doubted that her bosses would be happy with what she had to say, he wasn't going to complain. Richard handed her his phone and unlocked it, "Oh, god, thank you so much! This will... god, this will mean so much! To her, and to me... especially me, thank you so much, I... hell, I owe you, Miss Elf."

Strolling off toward Santa's area, the elf turned on her heels, walking backwards for a few steps before saying, "It's Ms. Halpern if you wish to be formal, though you can call me Marie..."

She said this with a playful grin on her face, one that looked a little more... well, adult, than one would expect for someone wearing the cheerful, cartoony costume she was wearing. Again, Richard felt a strange, questionable heat, wondering whether this was something he was reading too much into. There was a certain mischief to Marie Halpern, and she was definitely damn cute, and she *had* called him handsome... but, no, no, she couldn't have been flirting with him, could she? Maybe, or maybe that's just how she was, or maybe this was just some power thing or...

He shook his head. Whatever Marie's motivations were, she was doing him a solid that would go a really long way on Christmas Eve. Maybe it would make things better enough with Venna to get a chance to go into her Christmas party, maybe it wouldn't, but he was willing to hope.

It was Christmas, after all. It was the time for miracles.

***

For all her peculiarities, Marie had been good to her word.

When Kim and Milo came storming out six minutes after the elf had disappeared (Milo eagerly and repeatedly shouting "Toy store!" while Kim looked rather put upon), Kim handed him his phone, telling him that the "weird elf lady" had given it to her, and asking if they could go to the toy store a lot more politely than her little brother. Rarely one to deny them anything, he took them toward the toy store while reviewing the pictures on his phone.

Marie Halpern may have been a terrible mall elf, but the girl knew how to take some good pictures. She got angles of Kim and Milo on their own separate turns sitting on Santa's lap that looked damn near professional, somehow even managing to get them to not be as freaked out as they usually would be around a stranger like Santa. Richard felt a swelling of gratitude toward that strange 18-year-old, forwarding the pictures to Venna and feeling almost hopeful for how this night might go.

It had been a long time since things had been looking up, and he had a mall elf to thank for it.

Richard chuckled. If that wasn't the stuff of Christmas specials, he didn't know what was.

Kim and Milo did their level best to tear the remains of the Blair Valley Shopping Center's to shreds, and by the time they were walking toward the car (the two of them nearly passed out from all the running around), his arms were suitably straining from the bags he carried.

He unlocked the car, and while the kids took their turns fighting over which seat would be theirs in the back of the car, Richard loaded the bags of last-minute Christmas presents into the trunk.

It was in this moment that he felt his phone vibrate at the signal of a new text, his heart beating more swiftly in anticipation. This... this could be what he was hoping for. Or it could be the opposite. Either way, he'd know.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, Richard unlocked it, and looked at his phone, confused at the unfamiliar number. The spam filter didn't seem to recognize it as junk, so, on instinct, he opened the message, if just to see if it was a number he needed to block before he trashed it.

He was surprised, however, to not find a single text from a spam caller or wrong number, but a quick string of texts and attachments.

UNKNOWN: Hi, it's Marie, your friendly Christmas elf! I know this is a shock (got your number from your phone), but since it sounds like your night's about to be fucking terrible, I wanted to show you something...

Below this first message was a picture that made Richard's eyes go wide. It looked like it was a shot quickly taken below Marie's skirt, showing her creamy thighs, and the lacy red panties she wore beneath her elf outfit. This was underwear he doubted her bosses would find very appropriate, but one that stirred an uncomfortable reaction in his pants. By all rights he should have looked away, but there was something so intensely intimate, so raw and sexy about the picture, that he could not look away.

He saw the outline of another photo beneath it. Licking his lips, he nervously considered just closing the message here and now... it was Christmas, a time for family, and wanting things to be better with Venna, he couldn't stand here looking at upskirt shots sent by a mall Santa's elf... could he?

There was a distinct power to the image, though, one that helped override a lot of his better instincts. In the three years he and Venna had been divorced, he had never really had the motivation to look at any other women, except the occasional late-night porn-watching to relieve pressure, and he'd gotten used to women looking at him. He knew he was a good-looking guy, and he had turned down some good-looking ladies...

None of them had been this blatant, this forward (and maybe a little creepy), and that somehow kept him scrolling.

His jaw dropped at the next shot. It was the same angle, the same basic content as the first picture, another upskirt shot of Marie in her elf outfit, clearly in some employees only back room of the mall, but with one key difference: this time, she pulled her panties to the side, exposing her pink, glistening, and entirely shaved pussy. She had been excited when she took this, and he was getting excited looking at her... fuck, he was hard. It'd been a few days since he'd masturbated, he reasoned, of course he was hard, he was backed up, he was...

"Holy fuck..." he muttered upon seeing the next picture.

With a lewd shamelessness, the next picture involved Marie burying two fingers to the hilt in her exposed pussy.

Richard didn't know how long he'd stood there staring at the obscene sight, but it felt like a while. This elf... this, no, not an elf, this 18-year-old girl working in "Santa's Empire" had sent him pictures exposing herself, and even more lewdly, shoving a couple fingers deep inside of her. He was stunned at her brazenness, but undeniably turned on. This... didn't seem possible, and yet here he was, staring at the three pictures and making sure they were what he thought they were.

They didn't disappear, they weren't a figment of his imagination... this was really happening.

Finally finding some sense, he scrolled down a little further, finding himself strangely disappointed that there weren't any more pictures. That didn't mean that Marie hadn't been busy texting.

UNKNOWN: You like?

UNKNOWN: Of course you do, I'm fucking hot.