Who Needs a Fantasy? Pt. 01

Thanks for giving Lily and AJ's story a chance to steal your heart! If you're looking for a quickie, this one might not be for you. These two are going to make you wait, but once they get going, they get GOING. The payoff is worth the burn.

Content Warning: A transphobic tertiary character participates in a brief discussion about gender identity.

The Tuesday Before Thanksgiving

Lily

Not for the first time that day, Lily Duval deeply regretted her decision to travel by air during the week of Thanksgiving. The airport was busier than she'd ever seen it and there was absolutely no chance that she was going to find a seat to wait for her flight, let alone a seat with an outlet so she could charge her phone. The battery was getting low while her sister, Violet, vented to her about the inconveniences of being a parent.

"Hold on, I need to buy one of those portable chargers before my phone dies," Lily said without waiting for Violet to respond. She held her phone close to the sensor to complete the transaction and retrieved the very expensive battery from the vending machine.

"Okay, all good, continue," Lily said as she connected her phone to the charger.

"I forgot where I was," Violet responded, sounding a bit exasperated.

"That took like two seconds!" Lily defended.

"It's really not important anyway, I was just looking forward to Friendsgiving and now I'm going to have to stay home with a snotty, miserable toddler," Violet lamented. "Anyway," she continued, "did you find out who is going to your reunion?"

Lily hadn't gone to the ten-year reunion and she really hadn't intended to go to the twenty-year reunion. But with her upcoming move to Pennsylvania, she figured it would be nice to reconnect with a few people. For at least the next year, she was going to be living about an hour outside of the small, South Jersey town she'd grown up in.

She hadn't exactly volunteered to be the one to oversee the expansion, but when it was offered to her as an opportunity to do something new in a new place, she jumped on it. Lately, her life had been feeling a bit stale. She was comfortable, but also a little bored. She had no complaints, but she also didn't feel like she had anything to be really excited about. Maybe getting away from the dreary Seattle weather for a little while would do her some good.

"I have no idea who is going to be there," Lily said as she found an open spot on the wall by her gate to prop herself up for the next twenty minutes. "Obviously, Tom Moran because he organized it. And I think he married Melissa Flanders, so I assume she'll be there. I haven't talked to The Jens since college when we actually kept in touch and I don't use social media, so your guess is as good as mine. Maybe better."

"Are you sure you want to go?" Violet asked with genuine concern in her voice. "There's a reason why you haven't kept in touch with people from high school, right? Otherwise you would have kept in touch with them."

"I don't know, at least a few people had to have turned out decent, right? They can't all still be the same assholes they were twenty years ago," Lily said, a lot less sure of her words now than she had been two months ago when she'd RSVPed to the event.

"I guess. I didn't go to mine, I assume that they are all the same assholes," Violet said, huffing a single laugh. "Is there anyone you definitely don't want to see?"

Lily didn't have any terrible high school experiences. She wasn't out in high school so she wasn't bullied for her sexuality. She was pretty, so she was invited to all of the parties and had plenty of friends. She didn't have any regrets about her teenage years, save for the mistake with Aster Jones after Toni Jackson's graduation party. But Violet didn't know about that.

She wasn't sure if she wanted to see AJ. She hadn't thought about them in a few years. Not since her brother, Corey, texted her to say that AJ had come out as agender. It was huge news in the small town and Corey thought Lily would want to know. In fact, he thought that any time he heard any queer news, she would want to talk about. It was both endearing and a little annoying. Queer was part of Lily's identity, but not her entire identity.

Still, she appreciated him sharing the news with her because it gave her an opportunity to talk to her brother about it. Her family was more progressive and liberal than most, even in the 90s when she and her siblings were growing up, but her brother had never left their hometown and didn't have a lot of exposure to the LGBTQIA+ community aside from her. To his credit, he wanted to understand and just didn't know where to start.

"I don't think there's anyone I don't want to see," Lily told her sister. "I got along with everyone."

"Yes, I know. So popular. And so pretty. If only mom and dad had named you Jennifer, you could have been the fourth Jen," Violet teased, referring to Lily's three best friends in high school, Jennifer Bowers, Jennifer Farmer, and Jennifer Hoover. They went by Jennifer, Jennie, and Jen, respectively. The oversaturation of Jennifers was not uncommon in a group born in the 80s.

Lily laughed. "My friends and I call a group of loud, straight women hosting a bachelorette party at a gay bar a 'gaggle of Jennifers'."

"I'd say that's messed up, but I do think that 'a Jennifer' will be the Millennial version of 'a Karen' in a couple of years," Violet said before yelling to one of her kids to leave the cat alone. There were too many kids and too many cats in that house - three of each. "I have to go. Are you visiting dad tomorrow?"

"Since mom still refuses to be in the same room as him, yes,"Lily confirmed.

"Are you going to... you know..." Violet trailed off quietly.

"Smoke weed with our father? Yes. I most definitely am," Lily laughed.

"I couldn't say it. Little ears all around," Violet whispered. "Will you Facetime me after you smoke? I want to live vicariously through you and I've never smoked weed with dad. Please. I need this," she whined.

"Dad and I mostly just watch old westerns when we smoke together. We're not that entertaining," Lily said.

"Pleeeeaaassseeee," Violet begged.

Lily rolled her eyes, even though her sister couldn't see her. "Fine. I will Facetime you so you can watch us watch TV."

"Love you, sis!"

"Love you too. Hug those kids for me."

AJ

Aster Jones, better known to their players as Coach AJ and to their friends and family as just AJ, cleared the whiteboard that they'd been using for their meeting with the Girls Varsity Basketball team. They'd been coaching the team for the last ten years, following almost ten years as an assistant coach with their hometown high school. They'd accepted the Head Coach position at the rival school after being denied the job at their alma mater for reasons that had nothing to do with their performance. They were the clear choice and everyone knew it - the administrators, the athletic director, and the parents.

But when Coach Booker left to accept a job coaching at the growing college a few towns over, the parents started a campaign to prevent AJ from being offered the job.

AJ kept their personal life private for the most part. They'd always presented masculine, so people tended to draw their own conclusions, but they were careful not to go on dates with women at any restaurants in town. They'd also made sure they were seen on a date with a man at least once every few months.

That had always been the unspoken rule in the tiny suburb about a half hour east of Philadelphia - everyone had a fairly good idea of who might be gay, but no one talked about it. The idea, as it had been explained to AJ by their dad when they were figuring out their sexuality, was to "live and let live"; if AJ didn't flaunt it, no one would make a fuss over it. Their dad knew first hand what it was like to know people were whispering his back about his sexuality and he didn't want that for his child.

AJ heeded his warnings for years, but progress with LGBTQIA+ rights was being made when they were in their twenties and they started being a little more open about their sexuality. They still kept their feelings about their gender to themself, but they worried a little less about how they dressed and stopped the performative dates with men. From there, the town drew its own conclusions. For the most part, AJ didn't mind that people were analyzing their sexuality behind their back. It was almost a relief that they didn't have to hide it but that they also didn't have to come out to the town.

As soon as Coach Booker accepted the job at the college, the whispers got louder. It was one thing to have a queer assistance coach, but they drew the line at head coach. They claimed that, as head coach, AJ could influence the girls to be lesbians. It was an outrageous accusation, but it was a concept that most of the town accepted as a logical result. They truly believed that being around queer people could make someone who had no romantic or sexual attraction to the same sex suddenly become a horny, devil-worshipping homosexual.

In reality, the most that AJ's presence in their players' lives would have done was help a player who was struggling with understanding their sexual or gender identity to feel less like different. But most of the parents didn't see that as a positive influence.

Though they claimed to have no problem with AJ's sexuality, the fervor with which they campaigned against them being offered the head coach job said otherwise. They said AJ was too young for the job, which didn't make sense because Coach Booker had been a year younger when she was offered the job. They claimed that AJ was too friendly with the players and wouldn't be able to command their attention. But the reason had always been clear to AJ - the parents in their small home town didn't want a lesbian being the head coach of the Girls Basketball team.

Setting aside the fact that AJ did not identify as a lesbian, the idea that AJ was the first queer person to coach at that school was laughable. In fact, AJ's mentor and role model, Coach Booker, was definitely a lesbian. They had been sure of it long before they saw her profile on a sapphic dating app.

The issue wasn't that AJ was queer. The issue was that AJ was, as one parent said a little too loudly within earshot of the other assistant coach, obviously queer. While they couldn't be fired or denied a job based on their sexual orientation alone, the athletic director told them he couldn't offer them the Head Coach job without the support of the parents. He said he didn't want to put AJ in a position where they had to put up with those parents, but AJ understood the real reason. They were seen as a liability.

When the athletic director for their rivals, The Comets, called AJ a few days later, they took the job without hesitation. They loved their players and they loved their hometown, despite its issues, but they deserved a head coach job. They could have stayed and continued as an assistant, but they didn't want to be somewhere they clearly weren't wanted. So they left and took the other assistant coach at the time, Keisha Williams, with them.

"Are you coming out tomorrow night?" Keisha asked as she packed her whistle and clipboard into her bag. Keisha always liked to look the part, even when they were just meeting with the team and not on the court.

"I've been outfor years," AJ teased.

"Will you ever not make that joke?" Keisha asked, feigning annoyance.

"Probably not," AJ said with a smile. "But yes, I will go to the stupid bar with you to support you on your annual quest to make out with Brian Davis."

"You hate going to the bar and seeing people we went to high school with, but you are going to your reunion on Friday night. How does that work?" Keisha asked.

"Melissa helped Tom organize it, I have to go," AJ explained. "She's one of very few people who actually wanted to stay friends with me when I hit those awkward years. And she's one of three people in my class that I've kept in touch with over the years. The other two are because of you," AJ said, referring to Keisha's two best friends.

Keisha shook her head. "I don't know how you've avoided it for so long living around here. I feel like there's someone from my class out every time I go to The Tavern."

"I avoid it by not going to The Tavern. Except when you make me," AJ said. "And that's only because Alicia and Toni were always nice to me." Alicia and Toni were Keisha's closest friends, but they were in AJ's high school class while Keisha was two years younger.

"Do you think Lily will show up?" Keisha asked.

AJ flinched at the mention of her name. A few years ago, AJ confessed to Keisha about what happened in AJ's car on the night of Toni's graduation party. She was one of only a few people who knew about it, unless Lily had told anyone. They were confident that she at least hadn't told The Jens because they were certain that The Jens would have spread the news quickly.

AJ tried to hide their reaction and brush it off. "I doubt it. She hasn't been back since she left for college. Why would she come back now?"

Thanksgiving Day

Lily

Thanksgiving at Lily's brother's house was chaotic to say the least. Her sister, Holly, was visiting with her three kids, all under ten years old, and her brother, Corey, had four of his own. His house was barely big enough for his own family as it was, but it felt like a studio apartment with five adults and seven children running around.

Lily's mom had asked her about her life for a full five minutes before dinner. Unfortunately, that was a record in her adult life. Her mom didn't care to keep in touch with her because she hadn't produced any grandchildren yet. And since she did not intend to ever produce any grandchildren, Lily had resigned to the idea that she and her mother just weren't going to be close.

That was fine with Lily, though. She was still close with her dad and he was much more interesting to talk to and hang out with. They'd always shared a lot of the same hobbies so they'd always been close. Or was it that they shared the same hobbies because they were so close?

When her mom left when she was eight, Lily had blamed her dad. She didn't know any better at the time - her mom had told her that her dad was the villain, that he was the one who wanted to split up and that he refused to entertain the idea of letting Lily and her siblings go with their mother. Her dad refused to talk about it, saying that he didn't want to involve them in the drama of the divorce.

It wasn't until Lily was sixteen that she realized that what her mom told her didn't even make sense. Her dad couldn't have refused to entertain the idea because he didn't have more rights in their divorce than her mom. If she wanted her kids to live with her, he couldn't have stopped her from asking for custody during the hearing.

She called her sister, Violet, because she knew that Violet remembered more about those years. She was four years older than Lily.

Violet told her the other side of the story - the side that Violet had known since she was fifteen but promised her dad she wouldn't tell her siblings about. He didn't want to add to the stress and anxiety that his divorce had already imposed on his children.

He'd only told Violet because she had found some of the court documents in his room when she was looking for his stash. At the time, she was trying to impress some seniors she was hanging out with. She confronted him and he told her everything.

How their mom had cheated on him with the man they now knew as their stepdad.

How she'd been the one to ask for the divorce.

How she actually hadn't asked for custody at all. She didn't even want joint custody, but her dad had insisted that she and her siblings needed to have a relationship with their mother.

Lily never told her mom that she knew the truth, but she did tell her dad and apologize to him for believing her mom's lies. After eight years of drifting further and further apart, the two quickly got back to being best buddies like they had been when Lily was younger. He was the one person she made sure to call at least once every two weeks.

Lily wished her dad could join them for the holiday, but her mom refused to be in the same building as him, save for her siblings' weddings and college graduation ceremonies.

As if he could read her mind from miles away, Lily's dad texted her and snapped her out of what had to have been a really long daydream.

Pops: What's the name of the weed we smoked yesterday? I want to ask my guy if he can get it.

Lily: Dad, just go to the dispensary. Your guy doesn't need to get it, it's legal now.

Lily: And it was called Bombsicle.

Pops: Too expensive there.

Lily: Quality over quantity. That guy sells you dirt weed. You could get higher potency weed that you need to smoke less of to get high. In fact, you'll probably save money.

Pops: If I buy from someone else, he loses income. He's been my guy for thirty years.

Lily: Fair enough.

Pops: How's it going over there?

Lily: The usual. Too many kids. I swear they get louder every year.

Pops: They're cute though.

As Lily sent the eyes rolling emoji back to her dad, a notification popped up at the top of her screen. It was an email from Tom, who was organizing the reunion the next day.

Hi Everyone!

I'm so excited to see all of you tomorrow! Just wanted to let you all know that we are officially sold out! I can't wait to celebrate with 51 of my classmates, their 38 guests, 5 of our teachers, and their spouses!

See you soon!

Tom

"Too many exclamation points, Tom," Lily said quietly.

"What was that Lil?" Corey asked from across the room.

"Oh, I was talking to myself, sorry. Tom just sent an email about the reunion with five exclamation points," Lily explained, setting her phone back on the coffee table. The kids were loud and the energy was chaotic, but she didn't get to see Corey, Holly, and their families very often. She needed to be more present while she was there.

"I still can't believe you're going," Corey said, carefully stepping around the two cousins wrestling on the floor and settling on the couch next to Lily. "Actually, I'm still not convinced you'll actually go through with it. I saw some of your classmates last night at The Tavern. Toni, Alicia, Keisha, and AJ. I guess Keisha wasn't in your class, though, was she?"

Lily flinched - imperceptibly, she hoped - at the mention of AJ. If they were out with Toni, Alicia, and Keisha, there was probably a good chance that they would be at the reunion. She didn't want to ask, though. From her brother's perspective, there was no reason for Lily to be asking about AJ.

"Did you tell them that I was going to the reunion?" Lily asked.

"Nope. Like I said - I'm not convinced you'll actually go."

To be truthful, Lily wasn't convinced she'd actually go through with it either. As it got closer and closer, she doubted herself more and more. She wanted to have a social group while she was in the area, but did she really want that social group to include anyone she grew up with? Two decades after graduation, she could see the impact that the pressures of fitting in had really had on her. They certainly had played a role in what had happened with AJ.