Why’d You Ever Have to Say Goodbye

"Why'd you ever have to say goodbye" she said just as she sat down on the bench, her eyes still looking out over the river.

I had been waiting, sitting at one end of the bench and hoping no one sat in "her place" before she arrived for our regular meeting. It was the first Friday of the month and, this time, it was a nice evening, the Spring air warmer and no rain, unlike last time when our meeting was brief due to the weather.

Lisa always said the same thing when she arrived, reminding and mocking me of my habit of saying 'goodbye' whenever we parted, even if I was just going to take the rubbish out. It hadn't always been like that, but as our relationship had matured, so doubts crept in and the 'cheerio', 'see you later' and simple 'bye' farewells turned to 'Goodbye'. "It sounds so final" she would say and part of me knew that it would be.

We had met on this bench, on the first Friday of a month, June. The weather had been good, the heat not yet stifling, helped by the breeze from the river. There was a nice view across the water, the pubs on the other side filling up and the chatter drifting across as I had sat quietly, just watching the tide start to ebb.

She had sat quietly that day, just the scrunch of her shoes on the gravel as she walked from behind, then stopped and turned to sit. I had glanced at her from the corner of my eye, but her stance made it clear she wanted the peace as much as I did. Some rowers went by, the 'shuck' noise of the sliding seat and the splash as the blades left the water providing a soothing rhythm.

"That seems like a waste of energy to me," She mumbled, after two had gone past, clearly racing. I laughed and agreed. It was then we turned and looked at each other and we both laughed for no reason, other than it seemed natural. We did the bashful hellos and said we were pleased to meet each other, then we turned and watched the water as it raced to the sea.

"Do you come here often?" I said, trying to think of something clever and failing. She laughed lightly, a warm sound that floated in the air like the scent of the trees and flowers strewn on the river from far upstream, the smell of fields washed down by rain and carried on the tide through the city. She turned to smile at me and I suddenly found it hard to breath.

"Not often enough." was her enigmatic reply as her eyes sparkled and a small smile formed at the corners of her lips, lips that were now making my pulse race as they then opened slightly as her smile widened.

Her face was odd, but in a way that made it stunning to look at. Wavy dark hair hung down to frame it, curling any way it liked and still looking stylish. Her eyes were dark, but didn't look brown, instead they shone with a hint of green, or grey, or just mystery, like the rest of her. The nose was slightly big, but not enough to really notice unless you stared at it, which was pretty much all I was doing now. It flattened as it went between her eyes and then it looked a bit crooked, but I couldn't tell if it went left or right, maybe it just curved. She had nice cheekbones and they made her dark eyes even harder to fathom. The chin was slightly squared off, but jutted out just enough so you couldn't really notice anything, unless you were staring. Her lips were perfect, just swelling nicely, a good shape and size and I shivered slightly as they parted a bit more. They were topped by the sharp lines of her philtrum. It was as if her whole face was leading to her mouth. She was smiling more now and I was wondering why until I realised I was really staring.

"Sorry." I mumbled and the warmth of exotic scents wafted past, bergamot, vetiver, lemons, lavender mixed in the air under the guise of her soft laughter.

A red flushed over her cheeks, matching mine and we both turned to look at the receding water.

The noise across the river got louder as the pubs filled. Laughter drifted over as did the clatter of glasses. It was the time of year when the evenings never ended, the daylight refused to go until the next day was close to starting. Overhead the swifts screamed as the twilight tried to take hold, flying up to feed and sleep as robins and blackbirds tried to sing the day to sleep.

"They sound as if they are having fun." She said quietly, not really mentioning who.

"Maybe they are." I replied, our voices quieter now as the stillness stilled, "But this is pretty good, to me anyway."

"Yes." She murmured, "I prefer this side of the river, you meet a better class of person." and there was a soft chuckle.

I wanted to leave, but I didn't want to leave her. We had barely spoken, but when we did it felt natural, not as if we had only met this evening. I didn't even know what time it was, I didn't care, but the night was creeping in and the tide long ebbed to almost nothing.

"Need to stretch my legs." I actually did as I had been sitting too long and I stepped closer to the edge of the path. There was a slipway where a rowing club would take to the water very close by and I moved to it and took a few steps down, out of the line of trees along the bank. I wanted to look at her, but didn't dare look back in case she had left. There was no sound, except from the revellers across the river and my mind swirling with thoughts too fast to catch.

There was the sound of feet moving on gravel, quiet, but I was listening for it. I fought to say something, to call to her, but I didn't know what to say. Anything, I decided, just say something. I turned and then jumped with surprise.

She laughed again, a deep real laugh from inside and bent back and then forward as my laughter encouraged more from her. She had moved, but to stand near me and I hadn't realised until I turned to try and talk to her as she left. We laughed together for a while and she giggled an apology for scaring me. Then we watched the sky turn orange in the west, the light turning the low stream to gold as it wiggled, resting ahead of the next surge from the sea to raise it up again.

"We should do this again." I laughed and she agreed. I was trying not to stare at her again and totally failing. Her smile was warmer and brighter than any summer day and I shivered under the heat. "Maybe tomorrow?" I muttered.

"What time?" She said quietly as my head imploded. I tried to act casual and my mind swam and then drowned in ideas. "Afternoons are nice here too, although there are a lot of dog walkers." I still couldn't think of anything to say, so nodded. She cocked her head to one side, waiting for my reply.

"Well." I managed to say after much thinking, "If it is too busy we can walk and find somewhere quieter." I was screaming at myself inside for such a great suggestion, I really had no idea where it had come from.

"I like that idea." she said and smiled, her eyes shining, but still not giving away their colour. "Two is a great time, I hear." I could only nod in agreement.

We stood and watched the darkness begin to win the battle with the summer evening, deep reds now streaking the sky as the cobalt moved overhead.

"I should go." She whispered.

"I will go too." I said, trying not to sound too keen. "I will walk you back to civilisation" I laughed as we both looked around to see no one around and darkness creeping through the trees along the riverbank. She smiled and we walked up the slipway before turning to take one last look at the end of a day as it sank into the rising river.

We walked slowly, glancing across at each other as we crept through the shadows.

"I don't know your name." I whispered as the last of the blackbirds serenaded us along.

"Lisa." She laughed. "Yes, guess that would help!" She chuckled.

"John. Nice to meet you Lisa." I said, quite formally, but chuckling a little.

"Nice to meet you, John." She laughed and then turned and held out her hand to shake mine. Her skin was warm and soft, I knew it would be, but I still had a little shiver as we touched. She looked into my eyes, but the darkness made it hard to see the colour, just the shine. Our hands dropped and lightly knocked together for an instant as we walked through the wooded bank, the trees covering us from the lights across the river.

I let my hand drift down and Lisa stumbled a little on the uneven path and I felt her hand brush mine and my fingers reached out. There was a small laugh from her as she stopped to steady herself and I felt her fingers close around my hand. "You ok?" I whispered and she giggled a 'yes' and we continued to amble along, our hands squeezing together now.

The light from the streets was harsh as we climbed up the path from the river next to the bridge. It was still quiet on this side, the party action in full swing across the river and drifting over. We walked together, my eyes drawn to the shadow of us, hands together as we moved slowly. "You can walk me to the bus stop, if that's ok?" She said quietly as the world retreated into night. I mumbled something, wanting the bus stop to be much further away.

"Which bus do you get?" I asked as our hands parted and she turned to look at me. She blushed a little and laughed.

"Erm. none, I just couldn't think where we could walk to." She laughed. "I live a few streets away." and her head nodded in the opposite direction to my flat.

"I could walk you home." I said, much too quickly.

Her eyes looked into mine, searching for something, slightly apprehensive. They were dark grey, or maybe dark green, the streetlights disguising them. "Where do you live then?" She said as her eyes shone again, obviously having found what she was looking for in mine.

I nodded my head in the opposite direction to hers had gone, "Just over there, a few streets back." I said, trying not to take my eyes off of hers.

She smiled and I struggled to stay standing. "I suppose you could walk me a bit closer, I mean, there are some crazy people around." She laughed and we both looked to see no one else on the street.

"Yeah, and some wild foxes." I added.

"Cats too, they can be quite aggressive, begging for scrunches." She laughed. "Come on, let's be brave." She said and nodded her head in the direction of travel. I followed and walked beside her, both of us glancing at each other and giggling, I felt something knock onto my hand and I moved it and hers slipped into it easily and naturally.

"Careful, there's a cat, it might mug us for strokes." I joked as we slowly moved through the darkening streets, the orange of the lamps bathing us.

"Yeah, be brave, walk unafraid." she laughed, "Don't give in, no matter how much it meows at us."

The cat looked at us and decided we were too wrapped up to bother with and lifted a paw to lick at before mooching down the street and vanishing into a driveway.

"Phew, that was close." Lisa laughed. "Talking of close, almost there." My heart sank a little.

"Are you sure, I thought it was around the block you lived?" I chuckled, hoping she would get the joke.

"Oh yeah, my mistake, sorry." She said firmly and we walked to the next street and turned left, slowly moving in the cooler evening air, not talking, just holding hands. "Next left, then left and left again." Lisa said and our pace slowed the closer we got.

The same cat looked at us and I swear it did a double take as it watched us pass again. This time it didn't even bother licking its paw, it knew we weren't going to stop for it.

"Ok, here is good." Lisa said with a sigh, her hand still holding mine. "Thank you for saving me from the cats." She laughed and her face looked down as she blushed.

"And the foxes." I added.

"I didn't see any foxes." She laughed and looked up at me.

"See, that's what a good job I did." I said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Ohhhhh, you ARE good!" she chuckled and her other hand patted my chest and my heart almost burst out when the palm moved away.

"Thank you." she said very quietly after a few moments, minutes, or maybe hours, I was unsure. We had chatted a bit, but not about anything, we still only knew our first names. "So, tomorrow at two by the bench?" She whispered and I nodded, trying to keep my head on as I did so. Then she moved and those perfect lips brushed onto my cheek and the softest and most passionate kiss I had ever experienced touched my skin. I swear I groaned, but everything was spinning. Lisa giggled and then said "Goodnight." and stepped back and I knew it was time to turn and walk away.

"Goodnight, Lisa." I whispered and ached to kiss her soft skin, but something inside knew to just go. I walked away, trying to remain upright as my legs wobbled, turning frequently to wave at her as she waved back to me, until she turned and walked up a path into a house. I didn't see which one, I didn't matter. Nothing really mattered now except tomorrow afternoon at two.

Chapter 2:

I had arrived much too early and walked down the path a bit further, trying not to get too hot as the temperature rose, even with a river breeze to try and knock it into shape. I felt sick with nerves and looked at my watch so many times I thought about just trying to stick it to my nose as my arm was getting sore. I may have been in a panic. I turned to go back to the bench and was almost knocked over by a dog lead stretched across the path, owner on one side, pet on the other with no care for anyone else. I tried to stay calm.

She was already there and I checked my watch, I wasn't late, she was just early and I wondered if that was a good sign.

"Hello, is anyone sitting here?" I asked and she looked up, shielding her eyes from the sun and her smile blinded me.

"No, it's free for now, I am waiting for someone, but got her early to nab the seat." she laughed and my heart did a flutter at the sound.

I sat and we giggled as we looked out over the river. All my opening gambits of conversation that I had rehearsed were lost on the tide and heading to sea. "Did you have a nice night?" I could have smashed my head on the ground for such a dumb question.

There was a small chuckle, "Yeah, except the foxes were making a noise. Clearly, once you had left they came out as it was safe."

"I'll have to stay longer next time." I replied without thinking and Lisa laughed and turned to look at me and then blushed.

"Yeah, maybe." she giggled.

"You know what this bench is lacking?" I asked, a clear plan had formed.

"Cushions? A reading lamp? A footrest?" She offered as answers.

"All of those are very valid, but I was thinking one of those espresso carts, right about... there!" I pointed to a spot a few feet away and her eyes followed my finger.

"Not there?" She pointed to a different spot.

"Maybe. Both are good." and she agreed.

"Can I take it that you'd like a coffee?" She laughed and turned to look at me and I still couldn't work out what colour her eyes were as I just stopped thinking when they hit mine.

"I thought you'd never ask." I joked and she chuckled. "I mean, we could wait until an espresso cart shows up, but it could be easier to walk to a cafe."

"Will there be cake?" She replied.

"There has to be, it's the law!" Lisa laughed and stood up and I looked at her in the daylight. She was wearing a plain white t-shirt and beige outdoor style walking trousers with trainers on. I was wearing similar clothes, but the t-shirt had a band name on and the trousers were black and scuffed around the knees.

Lisa looked down as I stood up and moved to her. "Are we planning on hiking to the cafe?" she laughed and I looked down at my big boots.

I blushed as I waved a foot around. "I like these, they are comfortable. OK, maybe a bit extreme for walking to the shops, but should I want to take the long way home, I'm sorted."

"Great" she laughed, "Should the tectonic plates rapidly move apart, you can walk for help and I'll just stay and drink coffee until you get back." I liked her plan.

Lisa turned and led the way up the river path and her hand drifted back as I followed. I reached for it and walked beside her as our fingers entwined.

We talked about jobs, giving a brief idea of what we did, but no real details. She was in finance and had recently taken a new role close to here and moved into the area few months ago, I explained where I worked, most of being done from home now and that I'd lived in the area for a few years. "Cool, you can be my tour guide." she said and squeezed my hand. I happily volunteered. "First job, find a coffee shop." She laughed.

"I thought you knew where you were going." I replied, "You set off with purpose." Lisa laughed.

"Well, there were only two ways to go and I'd come from the other direction, so took a chance."

Dog walkers scampered past, joggers huffed as they bumbled by and the sound of oars drifted through the trees from the river. Everyone was in a rush, except us.

We emerged from the trees close to the shops. The low wall by the river was full of people from the pub over the road, so we walked past quickly. I heard a couple of men mutter something as they watched Lisa pass and she squeezed my hand tighter. We crossed the road and headed up the street where more shops lined each side.

"There's a cafe just up here." I said and Lisa smiled at me.

"See, you are an excellent tour guide." She laughed. We reached the cafe and took a table inside, managing to find an empty corner.

I ordered the coffees and Lisa eyed up the cakes. "I can't decide." She mumbled as she pointed out three that she had narrowed it down to and asked me to decide, before she went to secure the secluded table. I ordered all three and she watched me as I walked carefully back to the table with a full tray and laughed as I set it down in front of her. "I can't eat all that!" she shrieked and I offered to help her. "I hope you like one of these." she giggled as she waved her fork over the three plates.

"I don't dislike any." I replied and she looked up and smiled. Her eyes were dark grey. Or maybe dark green. I would have to look more, I decided. We both forked pieces of cake into our mouth and sipped coffee, smiling at each other when our gazes crossed.

Full of cake and coffee we staggered out into the hot afternoon. "Where to, tour guide?" Lisa asked and I really had no idea, I just wanted to be next to her. I pointed to the river and she nodded and off we went. We walked further upstream, the path quieter here as it was further from any shops or pubs. It was also slightly muddy. "Hmmm, now I understand the big boots. Very wise." Lisa said as we stood looking at a stretch of gloopy path. I looked down at her, reasonably clean, trainers.

"I have a plan." I said and stepped into the mud. It wasn't too deep for my boots, in fact, it was just a small puddle across the path. I stood sideways on, my legs open. Lisa stared at me and was probably doubting my tour guide credentials now. "Step on my feet!" I said and she stared even more.

"Are you serious? I mean, we could walk back."

"Trust me. I've done this before." And Lisa stared even more, her head tilting to one side, the dark waves of her hair tumbling down and revealing a bit of her neck. I tried not to stare, but it was a very nice neck.

She moved forward and I held out a hand to help her. She put a foot on my right one and I held her hand tight and pulled her to me. She shuffled slightly and managed to get the other foot onto mine as she balanced before placing the first foot onto my left foot. She was now standing on my feet and her face was right in front of mine. "Oh, clever plan, very clever." she giggled. "How many girls have you copped a sneaky kiss off of by pulling this move here?" She giggled.

"Actually, I may have lied about having done this before."

"Ya don't say!" She chuckled, her breath on my cheek. "So, what's the next move?"

"To be even more honest, I didn't think we'd even get this far." Lisa looked right into my eyes and her smile was huge. "I mean, we could stay here until the sun dries the mud." She nodded and kept on smiling. I now had my hands on her waist and hers were around me. I turned to look left, trying to work out how we could get out of the mud and when I looked back our noses brushed together. Her eyes were dark green, I decided. That was all I could decide as I was too busy fighting off the urge to kiss her.