All Comments on 'Wife's Tornado'

Great. More parts please.

So now we have stories trying to justify the fetish of cuckoldry and paint it as normal. Sort of like supposedly being born queer. Both are a choice, not a biological trait. 1*

Way to many loose ends.

Why did he accept Silvia back?

What happened to his wife after they proved who she was?

Why did they bother if not to get a divorce?

2*.

If this is an Erotic Couplings story, I'm Mahayana Ghandi. Pure, unadulterated loving wives shit. Get it in the correct catagory.

Aren't Justin and Connie still legally married? Just wondering.

So, Tiffany was at Janet's house so his wife (Butthead) could go to a motel with her neighbor and survived the tornado.

So what happened to the supposedly deceased wife.

If she’s alive then they’re still married.

Must be another chapter.

Sylvia’s just a side show.

disjointed story, but good anyway. And I see one of the idiots has weighed in with his fetish shit.

Poor

Totally wrong category. This is a LW story, and not a good one. Use some TAGS!

Good story!

4

Your stories are all over the landscape, and end too open for interrpretation.

Readers have questions about characters and outcomes;..please be more sensitive and address the issues.

Please allow us more closure so we feel settled with your endings.

I think OP typed this and scrambled the pages when he transcribed them onto this site. I half expected to see a recipe for "chocolate pie chili" somewhere in this disjointed mess. You need an editor, a proofreader and some Adderall.

Too many story threads started that either go nowhere or not given a rationale. Thanks for the effort though. 3

A 3* from me also. There were never answers to many questions, in this tale. How she did not die, where was she? A good premise, but not enough details. Better luck next time. Thanks for the effort, though.

Should have placed his hands around the whore's neck and squeezed, after he disposed of her masters. Having a young daughter, she couldn't suffer enough before she perished...

Death certificate? New identity for Connie?

I couldn’t watch this to the end. It sucked too bad. What kind of a man, writes crap like this?

Pure unintelligible jibberish!

A completely stupid story. Bounced all over the place, no continuity. Fortunately it is short.

Huh????

The BEAR

The quality of the writing is good; grammar, punctuation, spelling etc.

Viewing the plot development as an overall schematic the trajectory from start to finish has consistency; husband discovers wife's adultery, has reactions both positive (he gets off getting to watch) and negative (he suffers all the pains of self-doubt, lost self-esteem, angst re his child's welfare, etc. Following his cheating wife's ostensible demise he gets to discover the fall-back potential of the available neighbor for sex and friendship, eventually discovering he has an emotional attachment (for the neighbor) which clues him into his psychological transition from lusting voyeur to loving preferred monogamist.

The story has logic even though the path to revealing that logic isn't always smooth...nor the stage transition always logical--but that's the prerogative of the WRITER in laying out the plot as THEY choose it to develop.

Decently done, J.C. Your stories are invariably enjoyable. Thanks and please keep writing.

MLJ

I want what ANON was smoking when he wrote, 'The quality of the writing is good; grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc.' Seriously, ANON, you're oh-for-three, there.

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The silly, jocular writing is like in-laws staying over: a little bit is okay, but it gets old fast! Also, some of his obtuse references are creative, but their meanings are murky at best. For example, we go from star constellation lamp to naming one Carol--Mom--to daughter renaming it butthead, but she might not know what butthead means, to another subject. Done comically, it would feel like Chevy Chase looking at the Grand Canyon in 'National Lampoon's Vacation.' As a serious scene, it is rushed, unclear, and has no context or explanation. This story was full of ill-fated, half-described things, unclear explanations, and plotlines that seemed to disappear.

*

Do these people ever read their own work? Do they have someone else read it? Do they think editors only work in film?

GREATEST COMMENT SO FAR: >>Anonymous: I think OP typed this and scrambled the pages when he transcribed them onto this site. I half expected to see a recipe for "chocolate pie chili" somewhere in this disjointed mess. You need an editor, a proofreader and some Adderall.<<