Willing Wives

They were in the kitchen. Making coffee. Mickey said that she had heard from someone who knew someone else who knew someone who worked for one of the estate agents that one of the cottages was for sale. 'I assume it must be one of the ones in Culver Lane,' Mickey said.

'I haven't seen any signs,' Hal told her. 'You know. No For Sale signs. No estate agents' boards -- or whatever they call them.'

Unkton was only a tiny village. Well, strictly speaking it wasn't even a village. It was a hamlet. There was no church or other place of worship. 'We are godless,' Hal would proudly tell anyone who asked.

'I'll see what Mrs Google has to say,' Hal said. He took his coffee and wandered back through the house to the small downstairs bedroom that served as his workroom. There, he sat down at his desk, opened Google, and typed 'Unkton' into the search box. If one of the cottages was for sale, it should be pretty conspicuous. But no properties appeared on Hal's screen. In fact only a dozen or so search results came up, and most of them didn't really have anything to do with Unkton.

'Find a plumber in Unkton,' one suggested.

'Fat chance,' Hal told his monitor. 'There are no plumbers in Unkton. There are no butchers or bakers or candlestick makers either.' And then Hal spotted the Willing Wives listing. 'Meet Willing Wives in Unkton.' Apparently, there were 'willing wives' just waiting to hear from him. Well, well. Who would have guessed, eh?

Hal paused. But then his curiosity got the better of him. He clicked on the HERE of CLICK HERE and waited. For a moment or two, nothing happened. But then a splash screen appeared requesting that he confirm that he was over the age of 18.

'Eighteen? Eighteen and another eighteen. And then some on top of that,' Hal said to no one in particular. And he clicked on CONFIRM. Again there was a bit of a pause but, eventually, the doors to Willing Wives opened for him.

'Hello. Come on in,' the cheerful Comic Sans typeface said. 'Come and meet your friendly neighbours.'

A photograph of five women gradually appeared. Five naked women. With their backs to the camera, all looking back over their shoulders. The photograph -- probably taken in someone's back yard -- was of the 'happy snap' variety. It was definitely not a professionally-taken photograph. And beneath the photograph there were three small panels. One said: Meet your neighbour. A second said: Pick a name. And the third said: Come again. Hal clicked on Meet your neighbour.

If Willing Wives was to be believed, Hal's neighbour was Angela, a tidy enough looking woman of about forty-five or so. Angela was wearing a pink and white bra and matching knickers. But nothing else. Her breasts more than filled out her bra and she had a hint of a tummy peeping out over the top of her knickers. She was probably someone's neighbour. But she was definitely not Hal's neighbour. Hal's neighbour was Hanna, a sixty-something-year-old retired teacher from Lincolnshire. Hal tried to imagine Hanna dressed in just a bra and knickers; but no, it was not an image that his brain could conjure up.

'Well, no properties for sale,' Hal called out to Mickey. 'But it seems we do have a new neighbour.'

'Oh?'

'Come and have a look.'

'She's our neighbour?' Mickey said when she arrived.

'According to Willing Wives.,' Hal said. 'So, what do you think?'

Mickey laughed. 'What am I supposed to think?'

'It says that she is Angela. One of our neighbours. One of the willing wives of Unkton.'

'Well ... she certainly looks willing,' Mickey said. And she laughed again.

And then a dialog box appeared in the lower right had corner of Hal's monitor. 'Like what you see?' the dialog box said. 'Then let's chat.'

'Perhaps she knows which of the cottages is for sale,' Hal said. 'We should ask her.'

Mickey put on one of those 'now you're just being silly' expressions, but Hal was already on a mission.

'Hello,' he typed. 'I searched Unkton and your name came up. Perhaps you know which of the cottages might be up for sale.'

For a while, nothing happened. And then 'My name is Angela,' appeared.

'Near Lower Bendish,' Hal typed

'I don't understand,' Angela replied.

'It says that you are one of the willing wives.'

Again there was a long pause before Angela typed: 'I certainly can be willing. With the right person. Or people.'

Hal laughed. Not that Angela would have known that. 'Yes, that's what Mickey thought,' he typed

'Mickey? Are you having a boys' night?'

'Boys? No. Mickey is a she. She's my wife. It's a sort of a nickname.'

A smiley face appeared in Angela's dialogue box. 'Oh, your wife. Is she there with you? Now?'

'She is.'

'Nice. Are you two naked?'

'Umm ... no.'

'Are you going to get naked?'

'Are we?' Hal asked Mickey.

Mickey laughed.

'It wasn't in our immediate plans,' Hal typed. And then he added, just for the hell of it: 'Should it be?'

There was another long pause. 'Up to you,' Angela said, eventually. 'But some people like to get naked while we chat.'

'Do you like to get naked while you chat?'

'Have you opened an account?'

'Ha, ha,' Hal typed. 'So this is where it starts to cost money, is it? I did wonder.'

'Money? No. It's all free. Completely free. But for security ...'

'No. We don't have an account,' Hal typed.

'You should open one,' Angela said. 'I will still be here when you get back. Just type Angela into the Pick a name box.'

'What do you think?' Hal asked Mickey.

'I think you're mad. Absolutely bonkers.'

'It's just a bit of fun,' Hal said.

Mickey rolled her eyes. But then she said: 'OK. Go on then.'

'We shall return,' Hal typed.

Opening an account was hardly complicated. It was simply a matter of choosing a screen name and a password. There was also a box to indicate whether you were Male, Female, or Couple. Hal chose Couple.

'Couple?' Mickey said. 'Couple?'

'Yeah. We're a couple,' Hal told her.

'Couple implies that we are doing this together. You're the one with the mucky mind.'

'Oh? And yours isn't?'

Mickey laughed. 'Mine is certainly not as bad as yours.'

Hal logged in with their new screen name and password, and typed 'Angela' into the Pick a name box, and then he waited. But nothing happened. 'Damn! She's gone,' he said.

'Aww. You scared her off. Or perhaps she's gone off to look up Houses for sale,' Mickey said.

And then, suddenly, Angela was back. She was still wearing her pink and white bra and matching knickers. And then the dialog box opened again. 'Like what you see? Then let's chat.'

For a moment or so, Hal's heart sank. Double damn! It wasn't a flesh and blood woman. It was just a bloody computer program.

'It's us!' Hal both typed and shouted.

'Oh, hello again,' Angela said. 'You're back. Are you ready to get naked?'

'Are you?' Hal asked. 'That's the question.'

'We could exchange photographs,' Angela said.

'In your dreams,' Mickey muttered.

And Hal typed: 'These photographs ... will they be seen by all the world and his uncle?'

'No,' Angela said. 'We can do it in private. If that's what you want. It's totally up to you.'

Hal fossicked about in his photo file.

'What are you doing?' Mickey asked.

'Trying to find a pic of Muffin.'

'Why?'

'I want to see if it turns up on screen.'

'Do you want to do it in private?' Angela asked.

'I'm sending one now,' Hal typed. 'Just trying to work out how to do it.'

'Just follow the instructions,' Angela said.

Hal followed the instructions in the 'send a photo' box. 'Done,' he typed.

'Aww. What a cute pussy,' Angela said.

Hal and Mickey both studied the monitor for any signs of their cat, Muffin. But none appeared. Perhaps they really were on some sort of private channel.

'Now let me send you a photo,' Angela said. And, after a bit of an interval, a new screen opened with a picture of a totally different pussy. Plump and furry. With a little bit of pink showing. 'What do you think?' Angela asked.

'Sexy,' Hal typed.

Mickey thumped him on his upper arm.

'Well, it is. She is,' Hal protested.

'Perhaps it is,' Mickey said. 'But ....'

'But what?'

'Well ....'

'Are you going to send me another photograph?' Angela asked.

'Would you like us to?'

'Oh, yes,' Angela said.

Hal fossicked in his photo file again.

'Don't you dare,' Mickey said.

'It's OK,' Hal said. 'I'll crop it a bit.' And in next to no time he had sent off a pic of Mickey and himself on a beach in Normandy. Mickey was looking especially attractive in a bright red bikini. Hal was wearing floral-patterned board shorts. Hal had cropped the pic so that their heads were just out of shot.

'Nice,' Angela said. 'Were you on holiday? Or do you live on a tropical island?'

'Holiday,' Hal typed. 'In France.'

'Very nice,' Angela said. And then she said: 'Is Mickey still with you?'

'She's still here.'

'Would she like to see my husband?' Angela asked.

Husband? Hal hadn't realised that Angela had a husband there with her. 'What shall I say?' he asked Mickey.

'Oh, go on,' she said.

'Thank you,' Hal typed. 'Yes. That might be nice.'

The photograph that appeared wasn't the best photograph ever. The lighting was a bit dodgy. The first thing that jumped out was the wristwatch. Hal recognised it as a TAG Heuer, with a white face, a black and gold bezel, and a stainless steel and gold bracelet. Probably quite expensive. A couple of grand? Probably more. And then there was Angela's husband. Well ... and then there was part of Angela's husband anyway.

'Very nice,' Mickey said.

Even Hal had to admit that it was not the ugliest cock that he had ever seen.

'Nice,' Hal typed. 'You husband has Mickey's stamp of approval.'

'That will make him very happy,' Angela said.

'He looks as though he is about to make himself very happy,' Hal typed.

'Ha ha,' Angela said. 'Yes. Sometimes he likes to get a bit of a headstart. Perhaps Mickey could help him. What do you think?'

'What do you think?' Hal asked Mickey.

'Might be a bit of fun,' she said. 'It's certainly a nice-looking cock. And I assume you would want to watch.'

'But of course,' Hal said. 'What shall I tell Angela?'

Mickey laughed. 'Tell her that it would be my pleasure.'

Hal did just that.

'I am sure that at least some of the pleasure will be Greg's,' Angela said.

'I am sure that it will be,' Hal said. 'Mickey is a bit of an expert when it comes to handling cocks.'

'Are you going to send us another photograph?' Angela asked.

'What would you like?'

'I think you can see the sort of photographs that we like,' Angela said. 'But anything really. It's up to you.'

'What do you think?' Hal asked Mickey. 'They've shown us theirs.'

'You mean ...?'

'Yeah. Why not? It's not as if they know who we are. We're never likely to actually meet up, are we? We're hardly likely to run into them in Tesco. It's just a bit of fun.'

'You mean that you want to send them a pic of my ...?' And Mickey flapped her hand in the region of her ... well ... yes ... down there.

'You do have a very pretty cunt,' Hal said. 'A very sexy cunt. And a couple of those pics you took of my cock aren't too bad.'

For a few moments, Mickey frowned. But then she said: 'Oh, OK. You're going to do it anyway, aren't you? Regardless of what I say.'

Hal smiled and then fossicked in the password-protected folder in his photo file. 'Here we go,' Hal typed, after he had pressed SEND. 'Mickey is the one on the right. But you probably realise that.'

'Oh, very nice,' Angela said. 'Beautiful. Both of you.'

'Thank you.'

'The four of us could have lots of naughty fun, couldn't we?' Angela said.

After that, things got a bit racy. The conversation began its new turn with a discussion of what each would bring to the party, and then it progressed onto what they would each do with what each would bring to the party. Things got rather steamy and, in the end, they had to call a time out so that each couple could go and ... well ... relieve the pressure.

It was just after Mickey and Hal had come back down to earth that there was a knock on their door. Hal slipped on his bathrobe and went to see who it was.

It was Hanna. Their real neighbour. 'Oh ... I hope I'm not disturbing anything,' she said. 'I hope that I didn't get you out of the bath or anything like that. I've just come to tell you that I am moving back to Lincolnshire. I am going to live with my sister. Now that we're both on our own, we thought that we could keep an eye on each other.'

'Oh? Right,' Hal said. 'Yes. Yes. And your cottage? I suppose you will be selling that.'

'I have sold it already,' Hanna said. 'The estate agents didn't even get a chance to get the signs up. Yes. So you will be having new neighbours. A nice couple. Apparently, they made quite a lot of money doing something or other, and now they have some sort of website business which they operate from home. They were a bit vague about the details. But, as I say, a really nice couple. Angela and Gregory. I am sure that you will all get along very nicely. Yes. I'm sure that you will.'