Women Study Pt. 06: Norma et al.

Reading that did make me wet. There was only one thing to do. Thank goodness for fingertips!

I made contact with Debra. She told me that she was out of the dating scene for the foreseeable future. This dating site worked perfectly for her. She managed to get involved with another woman from the site. She seemed thrilled. I told her how wonderful that was and added that, if she and her new girlfriend ever found themselves hankering for a threesome, I was there for them!

Livinia was my next best bet but she also told me that she had started an exclusive relationship with another dating site member. I didn't ask if perhaps that would be Debra--anonymity, and confidentiality are important--but I left her to consider the threesome proposal, as well.

What to do? What to do? What to DO?

I jumped back on the lesbian dating site and scoured for another candidate. Having found my Deborah, I didn't need to focus on the academic part of the equation so I removed that but professional, refined, and the rest, were definitely remaining in my requirements. I sent out some feelers--no pun intended--and got a few myself. Curiously, eliminating "academic" from my requirements stimulated more interest.

Most of the requests of me didn't do much for me. They looked a lot like these:

.Lucy, 38 years-old, 5'8" (1.7m), 175lbs (80kg), professional wrestler. (Well, I did ask for a "professional". I crossed this one off without much thought.)

Beatrix, 44 years-old, 6'0" (1.8m), 180lbs, professional entertainer, stage, screen, and clubs, post op transsexual. (NOPE! Nothing wrong with trannys they're just notmy cup of tea. If I need a guy, I can find one easily enough and I like my women...well...women.)

DeeDee, 51 years-old, 5' 6", (1.67m), 130lbs (59kg), professional hairdresser and senior caregiver.

I was surprised there wasn't better quality control for this "Platinum" site!

Of the inquiries I sent out, two responses were intriguing:

Lana, 40 years old, 5' 6", (1.67m), 130lbs (59kg), professional occupational therapist, seeks compatible companion for a romantic evening. I am open to a possible long term relationship.

June, 43 years old, 5'5"(1.65m), 120lbs (55kg), professional musician, performer and teacher. Seeks compatible companionship when in town. My availability is unpredictable so I am not looking for a long term relationship at this time.

Very interesting, indeed, both of them!

My question was: how could I get so lucky?

Of course, "Lana" wasn't Lana, she was Marquesa, a woman from Brazil. In our exchange of texts, I found out that she had come to the USA, she knew she was lesbian but married a man anyway under the pressure of preserving her Green Card residential status. Eventually she became a naturalized citizen, studied and became a licensed Occupational Therapist, and had been practicing with a medical group for 11 years. She had recently divorced because she felt she couldn't "live a lie" anymore with her husband. She had no children.

Usually, "first meets" would be over drinks or coffee so that there wasn't much of an investment for either party nor would it be considered gauche were one or the other party choose to terminate the meeting in a short time. We, however, set a date for a "romantic evening", as she requested, but agreed in advance to split the cost. I let her select the venue. She picked out a moderately priced restaurant that had a good menu and good service. Michelin might not give it 3 stars but it was certainly an excellent choice, in my opinion.

We had a very nice dining experience. Marquesa is an exceedingly beautiful woman and it was hard for me to believe that she was actually 40 years old. Her English had an exotic Brazilian lilt and her manner--and manners--were refined. Something, though, did not sound exactly right to me. Call it intuition, but I felt that what she was really looking for was, for want of a better expression, a "Sugar Mama". While I enjoyed her company, I was not sexually attracted to her. I thought she was using her eroticism as a means to an end, that is, her goal of acquiring financial security or more. I took a pass on following through with the rest of the date.

June, on the other hand was a delight. Again, "June" is not her real name but...well..."June" will have to do. Our texts let me know that, from 3 years of age, she had competed in the musical arena virtually all her life--40 years worth. She was found to be musically talented at that early age and found the violin to be her virtuoso instrument. She could play other instruments well and not just kindred strings like the viola and cello. She was a pianist, guitarist, and had even turned her hand at percussion. Even her voice was musical. She had experience conducting symphony orchestras, too. She did well for herself financially by virtue of her concert career, which took her across the country and overseas. She taught violin. She wasn't the prosaic teach-from-home instructor; she worked at a prestigious academic institution in "The Big City". Her dilemma was, of course, the same as a lot of people. She would be easily recognized and needed a discreet relationship, which was difficult for her as a performer on the road.

We met for drinks. June, and I found out that Juliette her real name, but she preferred June. is a slight, trim woman, but looks to have a lot of steel in her backbone. I'm guessing that a woman like her doesn't get to her position in life by being a shrinking violet, no matter how feminine she looks. June, however seemed on the nervous side. It's a bad pun but "High Strung" would sum it up.

I broke the ice, "June, I'm having a white wine. What will you have?"

June fidgeted, "Tanya, I don't drink alcohol. I'm probably hyper-sensitive, but I find that it impairs my senses and performance. I'm the same way with caffeine. I'll have a sparkling water, though."

"Does that take a lot of discipline? I mean to stay away from those things?" I tried to personalize it, "I would have a devil of a time doing that!"

"I'm so used to it that I hardly ever think about it," June gave a little smile, "and I know how I would feel afterwards. I mean, it wouldn't be a guilt trip. I would just feel off key, so to speak. Well...and literally...of key in performance."

"People with your talent just amaze me," my goal was to get in sync with her feelings, "were you always musical? Or, did it just develop in you?"

"Ever since I can remember I was," she relaxed a little, I could tell, "but I wasn't always very good at it. My parents and my teachers worked and worked and worked with me until I started to get it right. Once it 'clicked', it 'clicked' and then it was just a matter of practicing and refining....my whole life!"

"I heard a little giggle there, too, my Dear," keep it light, I told myself, "it wasn't all drudgery was it? Besides, look at all you've accomplished!"

She brightened and looked up at me, a subtle pride on her face, "No, it wasn't all drudgery. In fact, I have come to love the routine of practice, the development of my understanding of different scores, different styles of music, the nuances that make a good performance into a great performance. Oh, yes, there are rewards, and many of them."

"I don't know what it is like to be famous, " stay the course, I thought, "I've never done anything to merit that....either famous or notorious. I'm not sure how I would handle it."

She was more relaxed now, and giggled a little, "Oh, with me, it goes with the territory. Part of my success is being recognizable, or 'famous' as you put it, and that depends on a lot of things, not the least of which is my talent. But there's more to it. I need an agent, a PR person, advertising, good reviews by music critics, good will from the public and to this day...believe it or not....I need a teacher and a coach. It all works toward 'fame', as you call it."

"Forgive me if I sound forward or blunt," go for it, I told myself again, "but being a lesbian in your profession can't be all that unusual. I'm guessing that you could find a compatible companion among your peers without much trouble. Why is it that you are not more open about your sexuality?

She was quiet for a moment, clearly organizing her thoughts, "There's not an easy answer to that question. The first thing is that I don't want to be known as 'June, the lesbian fiddle player'. I think that would be undignified and would deflect attention from my artistry my sexuality. One shouldn't have anything to do with the other. Just imagine if Joe Jock Jocko billed himself as the Heterosexual Stud Muffin Pianist! What message is that? And, yes, many of my peers are aware of my being a lesbian and, yes some of them are lesbians too. I don't flaunt it and they don't publicize it...their sexuality or mine!"

June took a couple of sips of water, " So, you ask why don't I hook up with a fellow musician? I'm sorry but musicians just drive me NUTS! I'm surrounded by musicians all the time. Why would I want to have a double dose of musicians in my personal...well....sex life? Plus, there's something about musicians, especially the ones that have gotten to...in all modest...my level, they an extra special brand of NUTS! And don't think for a minute I'm not including myself. The single-minded, self-examining, self-critical traits it takes to get to where I am are manifested in most of my peers. Why would I want two of us to inhabit the same space at the same time? Now, THAT is...errr....meta-crazy...crazy compounded by crazy! Sheesh!"

I was unaware that my jaw had dropped open at that screed. This was clearly a sore spot for June.

"Tanya," she knew me as Tanya, "that was all pretty much over the top, I think. I didn't mean to get so agitated but...well...there it is...THAT'S why I signed on with a lesbian dating site. I want to date somebody normal....have sex with somebody normal...well....a another lesbian...not like me...someone non-musical!"

Even for a 43 year-old, this woman was adorable. I think this had been churning around in her for years. I don't know if June had ever been to therapy. If she had, I don't think it worked. She had some real "ISSUES"! Maybe I should pass or, at least, let her simmer and come back to her at another time. But something deep down inside told me that, to start, this woman needed to have some SEX and with a friendly, non-competitive and..as June said...non-musical woman. Well....I can certainly fill that bill!

"Let me tell you a little more about myself, June," I signaled the waitress to bring us two more of the same, "let me explain myself to you. Sit back and relax this may take some time."

I only hit the high spots with June, otherwise we would have been in the bar at closing time...a week later. I made it clear that I was bi-sexual but, of late, I've had much more interest in women than men. It is what really satisfied me, on many levels. I didn't mention that there was one man...and only one man...who could satisfy me. Why complicate things. I also told her that I haven't been a "One-woman, woman". I have had a lot of girl/girl sex with many different girls most of my life and nothing permanent. Again, why should I complicate things by talking about Deborah? This being my disclosure I asked her a question.

"June, now that you've heard about me," I paused for effect, "it's a simple question I have for you. That's not to say that it's a simple issue but the question is simple. The question is: Do you want to have sex with me?"

June froze and it made my heart ache. I could sense the conflict in her. I was beginning to feel cruel for having asked her so bluntly. A minute passed; it seemed longer...and then another minute without an answer.

I couldn't help but feel sad...sad on top of frustrated, "June, I'll take that as a 'NO'."

"Let me tell you, June," I tried to keep my voice even, perhaps maternal, "being lesbian is not the problem, just as having sex isn't the answer. June, I'm really sorry. I hope you find your 'right woman'. She will be out there...when you're ready!"

I got up to leave and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Not to be frivolous, but she looked air-sock that collapses when its blower has been switched off. June was totally deflated...and looked it.

"June, I'm sorry our meeting turned out this way," in fact I had a little tear in my own eye, "but, I'll tell you what. I'll be your friend...just your friend. Call me, text me, send me emails, send me snail mail. Tell me if there is anything I can do to help you out. We can be friends, I know."

I got a nod back but best of all I got a smile back...not much of one, but a smile never the less, When we left the bar, she gave me a hug and a kiss...not exactly the type of hug and kiss I was expecting to get two hours before but, given what happened in that two hours, I'd have to say it was probably better.

So, there I was: two strike-outs in two days! Well, maybe it was actually two strike-outs and one home run. I had to ask myself, "Am I losing my touch? There has to be a warm female body out there I can have some fun with. After all, the batteries in my vibrator(s) are dead and I'm getting cramps in my fingers from masturbating. HELP!