World Domination

She took it from my grasp and read her messages, looking at me in panic.

"Mo... I really thought you were—" She looked at Kyle and Reggie. "Well, what was I supposed to think when you were spending so much time with her?"

"Her? Joey! You're such a fucking hypocrite! You JUST asked me to move in!"

I heard a small sound from Reggie, but I honestly didn't care we were in public.

"You always put her first! You've never been present in our relationship!"

"So that gives you the right to fuck other people? What the hell, Jo? I love you!"

"Do you? Because you sure don't act like it." She leaned in my space, her eyes blazing.

"Who the FUCK is Mel?" I shouted and she flinched.

"Just someone I work with."

"Who sends you nudes?" I asked incredulously.

"Mo, please." She looked around, embarrassed.

"No! Please explain to me how you could be fucking someone else and yet I'm at fault."

I looked at Kyle. He looked on the verge of tears.

"I can't handle this. I'm sorry. We're done, Jo. Find your own way home." I fished $20 out of my wallet and left the three of them at the table. "I'll speak to you later, okay? But we're done."

"You coward!" she screamed at my back as I left. My face screwed up in anger as I opened the door to the restaurant forcefully.

I drove in a daze, replaying the last month and every single interaction we'd had.

My breathing was heavy and irregular.

"FUCK!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as I pounded on the steering wheel. I immediately felt guilty. "I'm sorry, baby..." I caressed my steering wheel and patted my dash tenderly.

I glanced at my phone on the dock. I wanted to call Jesse, but I remembered he was on a 48-hour date.

My mind was racing, and I made a subconscious decision that I didn't notice until I was in Suzie's driveway.

I went up her walkway, full of flowers, and rang the doorbell to potentially make a bad situation worse.

"Mor?" She opened the door and she was wearing a negligee. Of course! The cosmos has no pity on me. "What are you doing here?"

She still stepped back to let me in.

"I—I can't talk to Jesse right now and well..." My demeanor was obviously agitated, because she didn't question it.

"Okay, you can always talk to me, of course. What's going on?"

I served myself some of her Scotch. She sat down on her couch like a fucking tease. Who the hell wears lingerie in the middle of a Saturday? My mind was churning in hurt and confusion.

I paced a bit to get my thoughts together, then sat in front of her on the couch. "Joey cheated on me." My eyes bored into hers, hoping she wouldn't make me explain every little detail.

She frowned at me. "Bitch!"

My face screwed up in pain. She gripped my arm as I hung my head at her rug.

"She told you?"

I shook my head at the floor.

"Ohh Mor. I'm sorry." She put her arm over my shoulders while I blubbered nonsense. "Yes, you're right. No valid reason to sneak around..." She massaged my back in circles.

My phone dinged every so often, and buzzed, but I ignored it. I wasn't going to cave in to her.

"Hon, this one's from Jesse," she whispered after I finally quieted my sobbing.

"Can you answer?" My voice was muffled as my face was squished face down into the couch.

"Hi, Jess... She's on my couch." She walked into the hallway to explain better; I only caught low murmurs. "Joey... crying... yes please, can you?"

Her hand kept caressing my back. Some time later I heard Jesse's voice from the front door.

"Hey, sexy lady! What's happening? You said something happened with her and Jo?"

Hushed whispers filled him in, and he groaned.

He strode in and squeezed onto the couch near my hips.

"Don't worry! Daddy Jesse is here!"

"Ew! I've told you not to call yourself that."

"Mor... I'm sorry to hear about Joey. I never thought she would do that."

"Yeah... me either."

"But come on! It's not like you thought you were soulmates."

I shifted to glare at him. "I loved her."

"Maybe, but were you madly in love with her?"

I groaned noncommittally.

"You weren't, darling..."

I started crying again, and he caressed my scalp.

"I'm tired of being alone. I want someone to come home to." I was utterly vulnerable.

"You're not alone, babe. You have me!"

"Yeah, but I can't sleep with you."

"Says who?" he shouted over the top and it made Suzie and I laugh. I finally sat up, and Suzie took my hand, too.

"You have me, too."

I looked in her eyes and my vision swam with my tears.

"I definitely can't sleep with you."

"Yeah? Says who?" she said in a soft voice while she smiled softly.

I keeled over Jesse's knees, sobbing anew. I was doomed—forever miserable, growing old by myself, emotionally unavailable...

My sad little train of thought became audible at one point, and the two closest friends I had sat on either side of me, negating everything I said.

"You're not emotionally unavailable!"

"You share and you invest in people and you..."

"You allow people to ask questions, and always answer them the best way you can."

Jesse whipped his head around to look at her, because I most certainly did not do that with anyone else—only with her. Yes, I was a little bit of a pushover when it came to Suzie.

They fed me ice cream and plied me with liquor until I was snoring.

I was blissfully ignorant to the world while my best friend had a conversation with my secret crush.

———

Suzie was twirling a strand of Moriah's hair, staring at her face on her lap. Moriah was gripping Suzie's calves in her sleep.

"I don't get you..."

"Hmm?" She looked up.

"Why won't you be together already?" Jesse sighed out.

"Me and Mor? No, she knows I'm straight."

"What nonsense!" He growled out. "What bullshit! I've seen the way you look at her. You want to jump her, you want her to pin you to a wall..."

"Jesse, don't be crude!" Still, her cheeks warmed and she looked away.

"Listen, you two would be epic together. You just have to give her a chance."

She silently traced one of Moriah's black eyebrows with a delicate finger.

"Suzie... you both have put in the time to make whatever this is—because it's more than a friendship. We all know that. So now, choose to give it your all, for everyone's sake, or..." He looked down at Moriah's face, and the silence was deafening.

"Final piece of practical advice... either finally kiss her, or let her go so she can move on. It's been too much time somewhere in the middle. Do you understand?" He stared her down, and she finally nodded, looking away.

"Thanks," he said stiffly.

"You're a good friend. Did you mean it when you said you'd sleep with her?"

He grinned and his eyes sparkled. "Did you mean it when you said you would?" he countered playfully, and she pursed her lips, looking away yet again.

It wasn't difficult to conjure images of being in her arms while being thoroughly fucked. It was also terrifying.

"Thought so," he said smugly. "And for the record, NO! Ew!" He put an extra blanket on Moriah and wrapped her like a burrito. Her mouth pulled up in a tiny, unconscious smile.

"She's been my instant sister since I first met her, and I might not be alive if it wasn't for her. She deserves a smart, awesome woman who loves as hard as she does." He looked her straight in her eyes. "So man up. Will you?"

She shook her head. "You're something else. She is, too."

"Birds of kinky feathers fly together and all." He smiled widely.

She snorted and covered her mouth, shushing herself. "Would you like to stay? It's already late."

"Sure. I took a cab and just wanna get to sleep."

They looked down at Moriah's prone form.

"I have a guest room, but what do we do with her? Leave her on the couch?"

"Hmm. Watch this." He leaned close to whisper in her ear. "Mo? Wanna sleep in Suzie's bed? She's asking you." The last bit made Suzie blush again, and made Moriah stir. Somehow she stood, and Jesse put an arm over his shoulder, looking for directions.

Suzie led the way to her bedroom, and Moriah whispered into Jesse's ear. "Suzie? She wants me?"

"Sure does, love. Get after her."

"Okay. I got it!" She said, still half asleep.

"There's my girl!"

Jesse started to take off Moriah's shoes but Suzie stopped his fingers.

"I can—I can do that..."

"Okay! Good night, darling. Thank you for answering my call and for being there for her." He kissed Suzie's cheek, and slapped Moriah's lightly.

"Love you, Mo!"

"LubbetteeJesh..."

Suzie led him to the guest room and showed him the restroom.

"Jess, I'll think about what you said. Thanks for—um—being straightforward."

"She's my friend, and she needs to move forward."

"I know... Good night."

"Suz? Don't fuck with my friend." The threat was low, and she didn't even get a chance to look him in the eyes before he had his door closed.

Suzie dragged her feet to the bedroom and panicked at the thought of undressing her. She changed first, then brushed her teeth. She took some baggy pajamas and started to peel Moriah's socks and pants off.

Could she be with a woman and be... satisfied? Would she regret it down the line? And god, Mor was so young! Was she being an idiot?

But just thinking of her smile made her happier than closing a sale—happier than eating the best meal on earth. The endorphins when they flirted or laughed were so strong.

A few weeks ago, Mor had sidled up to her desk and leaned into her space. Whenever they were alone, her mouth floated around hers. Instead of saying a real line or whispering about office gossip, she'd thrown her for a loop and had just said, "I have a new dirty limerick! Wanna hear it?"

Suzie had been so surprised and intrigued and fucking entertained that she'd just nodded and kept her laughter down while she'd told it.

"Great! It goes like this:

'There was a young woman named Sally,

Who loved the occasional dally.

She sat on the lap of a well-endowed chap,

And said, 'Ooh! You're right up my alley!'"

Mo had grinned as wide as Suzie had ever seen, and it had been breathtaking for a second.

Then she'd twirled away, wholly pleased with herself as Suzie had stifled her giggles at the dirty joke.

She still smiled as she came back to taking Mo's suspenders off in the present. She thought she wouldn't want the girl under her to belong to anyone else again, and wondered if maybe lesbian porn would help make the decision any easier. Being that for Moriah meant... having sex with her.

Yikes!

Her palms ran hot as she slipped the pajama shorts on her friend and untied her bra behind her. Her fingers twitched as she thought that it could happen as often as she wanted. After putting a loose shirt on her, she tossed the covers over them and turned off the bedside lamp. Moriah shifted to wrap her arms around her and clutched at her back. She could hear her breathing in and out above her head, and suddenly wondered what it would be like to experience her love some more.

——

Her hands gripped my forearms and her legs grazed against mine. I vaguely remembered I had been sad yesterday, but it felt very nice. I gripped her to me and smelled the sweet coconut in her hair.

"How do you feel?"

I froze as I finally recognized Suzie's voice and remembered I'd come running to her after my breakup with Joey the night before. Geez, what did my dumbass do last night?

"Uh... is Jesse here?"

"Yes, he stayed in the guest room since it was late."

"And I... came in here with you?" I didn't think I'd come on to her, but I could have been wrong.

She snorted as she seemingly remembered last night. Then she walked into the bathroom, still laughing.

I panicked and followed the smell of the eggs and coffee.

"Hi, lover! How was it last night? Did you get it on?"

"No! What did you two do to me last night? I'm so hung over. And why are you cooking in my boss' kitchen?"

"Dirty, filthy things, darling, because I was hungry!" His devilish eyes flashed.

"That's too bad I was unconscious, then. Why was I in Suzie's room, anyway?"

"I asked your drunk ass yesterday if you wanted to sleep with her and you jumped into her bed immediately. It was hilarious."

I groaned into the marble counter, gripping my hair.

"How did I get here?" I wondered aloud.

"Cosmic decree."

I rolled my eyes at him. "The universe hates me, then."

"Don't be such a Negative Nellie! We will get that straight girl bent. I'll help you."

I gaped at him.

"Yeah, to be honest, I kind of hated Joey lately too. It's time I intervened."

I gulped. It was too early for all that. I served myself coffee and helped him make a tomato cucumber salad with feta.

Suzie finally came downstairs to find us in a proper domestic swing.

"Well! This is nice! I have two gorgeous cooks now!"

"At your service, milady!"

"Be our guest!"

"We also strip-cook!"

We wrestled over each other to show off first, and eventually ended up juggling spatulas and flexing in our aprons.

She was giggling, and we continued cooking breakfast as she made us mimosas.

"So, one time we were in a psychology class. I think that's what it was... This was in my LSD stage, and half of that year, I think I dreamed up. But this, for sure, definitely happened."

"Oh god." I put my hand over my face.

"Darling Mo was always looking out for me. She would flush things down if she found them at my apartment and offer to drive me to rehab constantly, but that day!"

"That day you were singing Harry Nilsson's greatest hits, convinced that he was touring still."

"Ah, yes. Well, my bag of acid fell in front of the professor somehow, and Mor immediately picked it up and popped the last tab in her mouth." He giggled madly as he plated the pristine omelettes on three plates.

I scooped some yogurt and tomato and cucumber salad, and put sprigs of fresh dill as garnish over the omelette. I topped it off with berries I'd washed, over the yogurt.

Suzie laughed raucously.

"This is how you repay me for saving you from expulsion?" I hissed at him. It was one of our bits, and I remembered the memory fondly as well. It meant more to him and I than it would mean to anyone else, but he enjoyed retelling it, so I indulged him.

"What happened after that?" Suzie demanded.

"Nothing! Ha ha! What was the professor going to say?" he grinned. "We took a cab back to my place and smoked a little while we watched Scary Movie for the millionth time." He left out our extensive heart to heart that we NEVER talk about.

"That professor hated me for the rest of that semester." Then I got serious—just another part of the bit. "But I think that experience really helped me understand the human condition on an astral level."

Suzie spluttered out a scoff, and I waggled my eyebrows as I leaned into her space to serve her.

"French omelette au fromage with a fresh Greek salad and yogurt with fruit for ze tres jolie mademoiselle."

"Wow! I didn't know I was going to be treated to such a breakfast! And I didn't know you cooked too, Jesse!"

"Sure. Who do you think taught her everything she knows?" He did a vulgar gesture, and I bristled.

"Don't listen to him," I whispered in her ear. "I have god-given natural talent is all."

She giggled, and her neck stretched up, begging me to mouth at its creamy skin.

It felt so nice to flirt with her like that with so much less guilt. I looked over to see Jesse watching us, and I pressed away from the island, where I'd been looming over her.

Clearing my throat, I finished serving us. "Well, bon appétit! Jesse really is an omelette savant."

Jesse was already shoveling food in his mouth.

"So what should we do today? This is great by the way, guys! Thank you!"

"I don't know. I didn't exactly have plans." I let the yummy feta distract me from my misery.

"How about we go to the aquarium?" she suggested.

"Excellent!" Jesse stabbed a finger towards the ceiling. "What better way to consider humanity than from the perspective of the last true real frontier on our earth? Plus, it's proven to reduce blood pressure."

"Okay..."

Apparently we were spending the day together that Sunday. I passively drove us while they paid for my coffee and ticket.

If it had just been me, I'd have been crying into my pillow, composing godawful poetry about the futility of life. Instead I was being emotionally coddled by my two favorite people and getting constant hugs. It was nice.

I stared deep into the abyss of a jellyfish tank and wondered if they had it better there in the aquarium than outside, in the real ocean. In captivity, they were fed consistently and safe. Out there was a grand expanse of freedom and choices... and pollution and predators. I sighed deeply, wallowing in my dark thoughts, when a pair of warm, dainty hands circled my waist.

I leaned back and flopped the back of my head on her shoulder.

"You are both way too nice," "You don't have to do all this."

"We're just hanging out with you, and I'm enjoying myself. I know Jesse is too." She nuzzled my neck with hers, and, as dejected and lost as I felt, my body still responded in a visceral way to her.

We looked over to see Jesse dancing along with a sea lion, and smiled at his exuberance.

"It really is just the feeling of failure. I'm going to miss someone to latch on to, as pathetic as that sounds." The thoughts that had been rattling around my head made their way out in the safe space of her embrace.

"You're not a failure," "You're not pathetic. Anyone would be proud to call you their girlfriend."

My heart felt the stab.

Her arms gripped me harder. It jolted me out of my negative train of thought. I squirmed out of her arms and went to join Jesse, unable to take her closeness anymore.

By the time we went back to her house, my mind was more settled.

In the following week, Joey attempted to apologize, but I repeated Jesse's words that we were wasting our time when we could instead be moving forward.

I threw myself into writing, and my brain started up again. Where before I was a giant, anxious mess, ideas were starting to flow and words were coming out.

I resolved to take further steps towards a place I could continue to write. I started to lead my life as though a catalyst was right around the corner. Being neutral, I neither expected a catastrophe or a blessing, but just something I felt was coming—some shift in my life that was unavoidable.

I wrote and wrote and wrote. It was mostly nonsense, but once in a while there were little nuggets of gold I took out and polished lovingly.

*******************

"I built the bare bones of my first novel during that time. Looking back on it now, it's not my best work, but I remember it fondly."

"I liked it! Very fantastical. I think your personality was all over it. Maybe you were feeling vulnerable back then."

I hummed as I considered.

She continued. "I miss your friends. Kyle was sweet."

"Me too. But she got them in the breakup, and Reggie hates my guts."

"That's too bad. When is your next book tour again?"

"August in Los Angeles for a book fair and, while we're there, a few podcasts. Sully is excited and is making me speak on a panel. He's vying for a TV spot on a daytime show, but I highly doubt he'll get it." I grimaced as I imagined his boisterous personality, shoving me around like a piece of meat. "Will you come visit me? It will make it more tolerable."

"Of course, as much as you want! I won't pass up a chance to go to LA. I'll lounge by the pool while you're working."

I scowled and tackled her, pinning her wrists above her head.