All Comments on 'Would You'

2*, because a writer must always have his own end...Then he/she can dare to other writers to present a different ending...The end # 2 was for laughs: The other woman didn't want a realationship with him because "she didn't like the vengeful side of him she saw." Why? Was she thinking in cheating on him too?

the males in his stories are either Pussies, the bad guy or a cuckold. That's all there is, men can think for themselves and come out with a way out that works for them.

Don't believe any of it. Divorce.

I just can't stand this crap anymore. 1* only because a 0* is not available. Multi ending stories are just the cowards way out of not coming up with your own true ending and living with it. Trying to please everyone pleases no one. Make a fucking stand and live with it. Or, and here's an idea, write an ending that people like for the category you're writing in.

Usually, you just write one shit ending. Here, you wrote three!

How to Stop all This Shit. TK U MLJ LV NV

It's supposed to be BETTER that Greg got her ass instead of her pussy?!

My God! 3 shitty endings to a shitty story.This has to be the biggest group of losers I've ever seen. Ending 1 - Just walk away? Fuck that. Ending 2 - Does what is right but the new girl dumps him because he stood up for himself? She just wants to make sure the next guy she hooks up with can be properly controlled. Ending 3 - She didn't fuck him... she only gave him her ass??? She has to be the dumbest person I've ever seen. A cock in her ass isn't cheating? One of the most unbelievable stories I've ever read.

I have enjoyed your later stories and you have come a long way. This one was pretty bad. The grammar, spelling, and word usage made me think you wrote while inebriated. The story itself was not very good either.

That said, I am glad you kept writing and produced so many good stories.

Thanks

Once upon a time, as a high school senior, I was recommended by my English grammar teacher to help an eighth grade teacher to grade papers and writing assignments. They made fewer grammar, punctuation and spelling mistakes than I noticed in this one. You seriously need an editor or proofreader. Learn the difference between 'to' and 'too', 'your' and 'you're', 'their'...they're'...and 'there', 'mist' and 'amidst', 'use' and 'used'...and learn what a headache you create to your reader when you keep changing from first person (I, me, us, and we) to third person (he, she, they, them). And learn when to insert periods and start another sentence. This story fails on just the grammar, punctuation, and spelling. I won't even bother with its content shortcomings. Pitch this one on the trash heap and get a dictionary or thesaurus.

She provided lies. cheating, disrespect.

end 1 best, civilised.

end 2 she declared war and deserved everything she got.

end 3 not suitable, she did not try until crisis point, a leopard does not change its spots.

Good read

Thankyou.

I don't usually criticize harshly, I try to find positives and try to offer advice (the little I can that is, since I am not an author)

But this, I am sorry, was garbage. and then to give 3 endings? with all three garbage and each worse than last?

Might try a couple other of your stories, but I hope they are better, otherwise, well I gave it a shot.

typical though. one is cheating, one is faithful, kind of. I don't think I would put this in the loving wives portion though, because she never was. If it were me, retribution would be the key word. how long did she put him through her shit, lying and cheating the whole time?

A writer does not invite strangers to finish his story.

A good writer does not offer up alternate endings

to a story and invite readers to pick which one they

like best.

The story was mediocre from the start, certainly not

up to "Slirpuff" standards, and by adding the alternate

endings the whole thing just fell apart.

Better luck next time.

What Drivel and Crap

ALL THREE ENDINGS SUCK, Ending TWO just a Little less

Point of view is a problem, but it was a good storyline. I like ending 1the best and 3 the worst. There isn't a whole lot of setup for ending 3. 4 stars.

Ending number 3 is really funny when Ann says that this is the first time she fucked Greg. Keith hasn't had much sex with Ann for two years. Who do you think she was having sex with for two years? Keith Jr? Ann was sucking Greg.

Shows sometimes we can restart

Takes this type of a woman back into marriage, I wonder. Must be raised by a weak man.

Please don't post anymore stories until you take a basic English class, or you get yourself a real editor. Also, you should try to avoid the same character names. P.S. - One female is woman, not women.

Greg's wife has to be told!

If Ann and Keith had done what was suggested in Ending # 3 BEFORE letting things tumble to the eventual cheating,THAT could have been Ending # 4,a happy ending. But once it turned into a long cold war,with both of them cheating,well,Ending #1 is the obvious choice.

Change Linda being upset...does not make sense

Didn't read, sorry but an ending good or bad is better than three endings.64E7

I almost bailed after the first paragraph, because a writer who doesn’t believe enough in his own story to put a solid ending on it ain’t a writer I want to read. I made an exception this time because of the author’s other stories. Forced to pick, I would say ending #2 is the only logical choice. Burn the ex, burn her boyfriend, and if his girlfriend complains, burn her ass too. At that point there’s no room for sympathy, other than for the kids. D.

They both cheated. So they both should have a do-over and really work at their marriage.

about a fourth option

I like three best although the comment at the end about a do over using a condom. Doesn't say much about his love for David

As much as I hate multiple endings (just write a story and don't try to please everyone) all three of these endings sucked big time. And the last ending

"Keith, yes we fucked but I didn't give him my pussy; no one has had that since we got married"

WTF did she mean by that? I just blew him and let him fuck my ass. I didn't cheat in you. This woman is delusional. This was a terrible story.

That would be annony, the king of the cucks and looser all around. His wife fucked more guys while married to this old fat fag than a $20 drug whore.

I like your stories, but this one seemed to have been written "under the influence" of something. Flipping between first person and third person creates pauses in the enjoyment of the story while the reader tries to understand what happened. There are many more incorrect word usages in this story than most of your others, so I guess I will have to give you a hall pass.

This was an early story, chronologically. You have gotten better, but the spelling and grammar were no better than a ‘D’.

I have yet to read one of your stories which didn’t suffer from abuse of the English language.

This is the plural form of ridicule, which means to criticize in a hurtful way, a person or idea.

The word you are looking for is "ridiculous." I have noticed this misspelling in two other stories you have written.

Was the hubby so dense he never considered she was having an affair as he himself was teetering on one?

None of the 3 endings seemed reasonable whatsoever. It all started with the "Just about time to have the meeting Jesus with his wife" and then he suddenly goes and bangs Linda? That would confuse the Hell out of anyone and being it is happening after so long? Sorry, can't buy it. Then you attach 3 either weak or hollow endings and call it a story?

I could write a lot more but the time spent on my comments would not be equal to the time wasted reading the story.

If pushed I suppose I would pick ending number two, and that’s only because it was the least objectionable of the three. Besides that, the author is the one who builds the story the way he (or she) wants it, so in my mind the author is ultimately responsible for supplying a definitive ending to his story. This “multiple choice” ending thing, to me, displays a weakness in, or a lack of, writing skills. Of course I’m just a reader, not a writer, so what do I know?

And it's Ann that needs the do-over.

Not sure which option I would go because sometimes my temper does get the better of me. If Linda wasn't in the picture, option 2 but with her there option 1 would be the way to go. Option 3 might work, but I'd want both of us to take polygraph tests to verify just how much cheating we did.

First, a story with multiple endings try to please everyone but actually please nobody. It's basically an unfinished story. Second, all three endings sucked big time. This story gets a 1* for both reasons.

The first ending is the best.Ending three is a definite non starter.

Ending #3 was complete bullshit. Too much water under the bridge and a leopard doesn't change her spots. Ann left the marriage a long time ago. No way back at this point. She's more like the man in the relationship given the fact that she's WAY more concerned about her job than she is about her family. Ending #2 was wrong. They BOTH had proof. Greg and Linda were witnesses and the motel registration slip would have been enough proof for the Courts that they were BOTH cheating. But the kids being unhappy about their mother rang hollow. She's never around. Why do they care about her? They would have been happy that Dad had money to take them to Disney World and buy them cars when they were old enough. Who cares about a Mother that is never around? And Linda's reaction felt wrong too. Why would she care about him burning Ann to the ground, getting the money and getting custody? She was after the man. And she got him. But if not Linda, then someone else will quickly show up. He's a catch and women know it. Ending #1 was the most likely and probably the closest to real life. Except there's no way in hell he gives Ann the house and custody. Even an idiot lawyer gets him the house, custody and child support. Even you point out that Ann's not around. The Courts don;t care about infidelity. They care about the kids and they would have awarded custody to the parent that cares for the kids. One further thing. You REALLY need an editor. SO many grammar mistakes. Normally I don't care about them but some of your mistakes changed what you really meant and it took a couple of seconds to figure it out. Which ruins the flow of the story.

It appeals to the sick fucks that like 1 or 2 KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK SLIPUSS.💩🖕🧚‍♂️😎

Slirpuff

I found your tale Ok but for a few irritating things. Firstly, there were so many spelling bobos that I gave up counting. A person submitting work should take pride in their creation. With commonplace technology such as spell-checking there is no reason for shoddy material. Someone else reading your draft is also a good way of weeding out those gaffs. Secondly, I'm unsure what you were trying to achieve with your three endings. You are the author/creator...I would have been happy for you to present the conclusion that you felt was the most appropriate.

Nor.my.favorite, but I'll go wirh option number three providing Greg's wife is let in on the aecret.

It's a tough road, but maybe they both get to grow up a little.

I think the story accurately captured the anger a woman sometimes displays. She won't explain herself and continually ups the steaks in an argument neither of them can win.

Ending one is the correct ending.She is nothing but a selfish bitch.

The question is why would I care about them. So if you didn’t write an ending to Mis-mos of words I don’t care either, only wasted my time when I could have read another story.

Is great except for Linda. Why in the world would you write her out?

Lord, this thing needs editing. Otherwise it's ok

Keith is telling the story, and suddenly we know what she's thinking. He doesn't know, so he can't tell us.

and you can lose 4 times, TK U MLJ LV NV

Weird mixes of points of view with awful grammar. When will you learn that 'your' is not the same as 'you're'?

three endings and there was something to dislike in each of them. lol I'm still puzzled at why the kids would be upset in ending 2. The mom was a basic no-show.

3 Endings? Really? I would pick Option 1 with him getting the kids and house since she travels so much. And Greg's wife would have found out anonymously about her husband. That is a definite no matter what ending would be picked...

Very much like the last couple I read by you. The wife's carreer takes a life of it's own. If I have to choose endings it's 312.

The best typo I've read in one of your stories; "The two of them made me a cluck and I wanted my revenge; and that's what I got." I just haven't quite figured out what a "cluck" is. Signed: BTW

You write excellent stories. But the editing makes highway pile-ups and train-wrecks look pretty. If you decide to change Point-of-View (and let's face it: you shouldn't: mixed first and third person stories are beyond lame) then at least be consistent and change throughout. Hint: Search on personal pronouns and check if they are appropriate. A 3rd grader can do it.

Ending two is the most likely of the options.

Three endings and none of them were satisfying.

Ending two was the most realistic and would've been good except for the kids and Linda hating him for getting some payback on Ann. If Linda wasn't supportive... good riddance. Her lack of contempt for cheaters means she's a very risky proposition.

What makes no sense is the kids getting angry at their father. Their mother was basically an absentee parent, the selfish bitch was totally self-absorbed with her career and her affair. Children aren't stupid; they know he's the loving parent and their mom doesn't give a shit about them (because she secretly resents them!).

The kids would pick the father to stay with in a heartbeat... and would be angry at the mother for:

1) Abandoning them for the last two years.

2) Hurting their dad who they're closest to out of both parents.

3) Destroying the family.

The most likely outcome is that the fit, handsome, successful husband would find a younger replacement for his selfish old slut of a wife. The kids would get even closer to him and their step-mother... until effectively becoming estranged from their career obsessed mom. I say this, because I've actual seen this play out for real.

It goes from "I" to "Keith" then into Ann's mind... That's careless, and detracted from an otherwise good story (one of the three endings would have been better).

No. 3 ending is what I like best. I do believe in forgiveness. Communication is best most of the time yet time is best sometimes.

David, the eldest child of these two pathetic parents, is the only character in this melodrama who merits any sympathy or consideration. There is no way he is unaware that his mother holds his birth responsible for her dreams in life having not been fulfilled. He is no doubt aware that his father wishes he had worn a condom on the night his eldest child was conceived so that his married life would not have sucked quite so much.

These two selfish and immature pseudo adults should never be approved to adopt a pet much less raise children. David likely is destined to suffer from poor self esteem, recurring bouts of depression and some form of substance abuse. Odds are poor he will be able to maintain a stable marital relationship himself or be an effective parent.

The sins of one generation truly are paid for by the next.

He really shouldn't think twice about it. Take option two, find a better woman and Linda isn't that woman.

Gives her boss Greg her Ass over her Pussy and that's suppose to some how lessen what she did? Sheesh, talk about using bizarre pretzel logic to some how justify her actions with her boss Greg.

The marriage has been over for some time. Just give it a dignified burial and move on with life because its too damn short.

#2+

Story was fine but the grammar and spelling mistakes take the edge off.

Option 3 sucked!!! Ann let Greg screw her ASS, and that's less cheating?? BTB!!!

not sure how to rate it. Not a fan of multiple ending stories. The ending makes or breaks the story. I really have trouble deciding a score because of the options presented.

Give me a break. Pick an ending and go with it. Any ending would have gotten at least a 4. Multiple endings always get a 1, woud be less but they don't allow negative scores.

I liked it but each of the endings seemed rushed and lacking emotion.

Did they never talk? They could have discussed her going back to college long before the issues developed. They both professed love for each other but couldn't sit down and really talk about what was troubling them.

Still preferred the 3rd ending because of the kids. If it didn't work they could split up when the kids went to college.

ending #1 seems to be more appropriate. forget and forgive and move on

Not sure if I'd pick ending #1 or #3. Definitely wouldn't pick #2. I think #3 was more like real life, but #1 would probably be more popular now-a-days in Lit's Loving Wives category.

.

I really didn't. like the way you kept switching from first person to third person. Even in the same paragraph! Annoying. To the Max.

Of course he has the shitty RAAC for last so it sticks in the mind, serving as the final ending.

His preferred ending obviously. Though none of them were good, they were all pretty barebones.

Multiple endings are always a muddled way to close a story, and none of those endings really landed, which made it worse. Committing to an ending has to be one of the key points of telling a good story, this isn't interactive fiction.

u lived up to your reputation of being a wimpy author... you made three endings... all of which you ' situated the appreciation' to ensure that the real ending never materialised...

the correct ending would have been ending two ..but with him and linda having a happily married ever after and Ann and greg getting fucked in life!

I prefer the reconciliation ending. The author hasn't published anything in a few years so the idiots below who are writing comments nasty comments to the author are bigger fools.

Still don't care much for this particular story, but after reading again I like #2 option better. Burn it all down.

love the second ending she was cold bitch

It's an okay story, but the premise is busllshit. Like actually inaccurate. She had her first child very young. That's the only way to do it. Women have a very very slim time table to have kids. Her having kids early us how to balance work and family. The other option waiting first almost NEVER works out.

Maybe if she waited 1 or 2 years. That's all she gets. And she still have the same issues. A big time gap on her resume. Truth is women that wait will either fall into one of a few categories. The Rich party couple that winds up childless becuz they waited too long, divorced becuz a marriage is hard to maintain without kids ( if either wants kids they'll feel ripped off) or they sacrifice hard and have or try to have kids in her 30s. The chances are low. Child defects are high. Expensive lab work and medical fees. It's a nightmare for older women.

4. And I prefer the first ending.

2 stars - the complete lack of love, sex and disrespect between them, that early in this marriage, guaranteed the eventual divorce. The only discussion would be the children's care & welfare

"You were the one who moved out of our bedroom not me." BULLSHIT, SHE MOVED OUT TWO YEARS AGO BUT STILL SLEPT IN THE SAME BED.

ALL THREE ENDINGS SUCK; SO PATHETIC.

AND THE TYPOS AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES ARE JUST INTOLERABLE.

once again it is: ZEROZEROZERO....

BULLSHIT ON ALL THREE ENDINGS.

"You were the one who moved out of our bedroom not me." BULLSHIT, SHE MOVED OUT TWO YEARS AGO EVEN THOUGH SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED.

GRAMMAR AND TYPOS ARE JUST INTOLERABLE.

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE, LEARN HOW...

No matter the ending, seeing her come out of that hotel room should be the nail in the coffin. I doubt anyone would've believed a spouse wasn't cheating the whole time if they were in the hubby's shoes after the last yr with her. What a selfish bitch and the separation papers shouldve woken her up to save her marriage.

Ending two is the only correct Ending.It is obvious Linda has some hang ups,that need sorting before getting heavily into her,if that is what he wants.

Would you? No I would not have. See I married the gf I got pregnant at 18. Thought it was the right thing to do. It was far from perfect but lasted just shy of 20 yrs. I was the bad guy and she was the victim. It wasn't until she got diagnosed with bipolar disorder that my daughters started reconcile with me. During much of the last 20 yrs I've learned to live for me instead of others. Not being selfish just self care. If I feel I'm being disrespected I remove myself from the situation. I've learned to cut toxic people out of my life, yes even family. I've tried to set healthy boundries because life is too short. I love my kids and try to be there for them, my daughters especially, but I'm no patsy. Yes this story was fiction and nowhere close to reality, but that is why I come here. Thanks for posting 4*

This story was exceptionally hard to read , primarily because the P.O.V. changed fairly often a couple of times in the same sentence . It makes for an awkward read and takes away from the story very badly ! There were quite a few typos and grammar errors that also played havoc on what could have been a decent tale otherwise . Plus there seemed to be a lack of depth to the characters and so the reader has no emotional connection with them. An authors characters should instill some sense of emotional response in the reader . To have a character that evokes some feelings in the reader is what your ultimate goal should be ! Feelings such as sympathy, joy , respect etc and/or pity , anger, jealousy, etc help form an attachment with the reader . Its desirable for the reader to like or dislike or even hate a character is an authors goal . I’ve read other works by you and you seem to have acquired that goal in most I’ve read , however this one falls short !

SOOOOO many things wrong in this little ditty. Blowing up his wife and getting her fired causes him to pay alimony. An anonymous letter to Greg's wife blows him up. No Judge throws out the lawsuits with an eyewitness. Linda turned out to be unreliable at best, a whore at worst. And your third solution just makes him loom like a wimp. Take custody, the house and 50 percent of everything else and move on without both women.

Ending 2 gets my vote. Fuck Linda and fuck Ann.

Ending 3 would seriously need a rewrite. Ass is somehow not as bad as pussy? And just throw a vibrator on the table and bam, instantly the trust of two people is restored...

3 stars -

NO separation - just a plain simple 50/50 divorce and move on.

It should have happened at or before the end of the first month of no sex. Hell there should have been a lot of talking, discussion, or extreme anger being expressed by both partners, before it got that far.

Meh

#2 and fuckemall.

Ending #4

Amazed U can write all the drama & interplay; plz add another story

Keith needs “out” and the story suggests that Linda is next (I hope they communicate….).

Good story, food for thought. I like #3 for an ending. LP

I like how the author gave the reader the option of choosing the final outcome. Personally, I like #3 as they say the shock and awe brought Ann back to the real world and made her realize that it was decision time, do I throw away the family and marriage and move on or do I try and salvage a failing marriage. She chooses family and the hope of happily ever after. Well done ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Once again, a fresh look at the LW category. I think you answered your own question posed at the beginning. I also think this was your personal answer to your own question, namely, not getting her pregnant and her finishing school. HOWEVER! Would the fates still have meted out the bliss of the early years? After all, Your first child would not be the one you have!

Alternate endings should be illegal.

hell no to #3

Being a family oriented guy I'm going with option 3. Sometimes a marriage just needs a wakeup call!

PLEASE!!! Try to sepatrate first from third person! "They" when you are referring to "we" or "us." Also, a councilor would be somebody who has a seat on a council, but a counselor would be somebody you talk to, to try to get some help.

Dont enjoy stories with pick an ending.

2 was totally stupid.

3...yeah riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.