All Comments on 'X-Ray Vision Ch. 02: Revealed'

I was a little worried after the first part that his girl was going to be stolen away. This was resolved beautifully in part two and now the family is growing. 5 stars.

I love when the narration of a story changes from one character to another. I don't think you lost any of the plot to this story at all, and I find this chapter an interesting progression. So many multi-part pieces just recycle ideas, where you have introduced new ideas as well as advanced the plot. Keep it up. cant wait for the next one.

Wow..had to admit I did not see the relationship between Puhong’s and the MC developing in such a fashion. But truly the way how the author writes about duty, honor, self discipline especially as it pertains to family. Sometimes growing up it might seem like such a burden that as soon as we are able to cast it off, you go in another direction only to realize after a time how lonely and bereft life is without those wonderful familial bonds.

The part I liked the most was Greg's interview with Mr. Nguyen. A completely unanticipated change in their relationship, and it was fascinating to see the way they both negotiated it. Mr. Nguyen and Khang are delightful characters, and I love the way you present them so genteelly. I agree with Amygdala that the weaving of the themes of respect and duty into the story really stands out. For my money, any story in which the MC defers to somebody else says a lot not only about the MC, but about the author as well.

Some parts of the story do seem a bit implausible: the way that everyone gets on board with the "sisterhood" idea so easily, the way that Jillian can see all the office shortcomings after just a couple hours on the job, the never ending quantity of quarters that just happen to be lying about. But then another part comes along that cuts right through with sizzling clarity: "What you do, doofus. Find lost things." That's what the story is all about.

(Oops. Did this perhaps drop out of your pocket: https://www.grammar-monster.com/punctuation/quotation_marks_multiple_or_new_paragraphs.html )

Loved the unexpected developments in this next part of the story, woven about so naturally!! And no, the change in perspective of characters didn’t detract, I felt I needed it by now to help me get more intimate with Jillian. Been tearing through this story on a lazy Sunday afternoon, which should hopefully please you very much Elaine_Mature!