X-Ray Vision Ch. 12: Exposed

My sight expanded, lurching out, out, until I could see half the town, all in one incomprehensible exploded view. See all the Saturday morning people, shops, things.

The sleepers; the early workers. The couples in their beds, enjoying the early light, enjoying their bodies.

The coffee lady, opening her mall-parking-lot coffee kiosk, humming to herself, her vibrator buzzing happily in her cooch, lime scale clotting up her coffee-maker pipes.

Two kids in a back yard, trying to light a pile of firecracker paper they'd unrolled from a whole string of crackers, excited, about to get their eyebrows burned off.

The pigeons in their roosts; the rats like pepper sprinkled over everything. Dogs sleeping; cats pretending to sleep.

Machines, glorious in their violent motion, fierce remorseless rotations, contained explosions, a kind of metal exoskeleton we wore, we lived in.

Structures and foundations, tunnels and bridges, layer on layer, centuries of building and destroying and rebuilding, inconceivably mixed and vivid and all one thing together, all different things.

The panic faded; my sight returned to normal as the adrenaline thinned out, burned out.

I had Jillian now. None of that bad stuff was going to happen; I had Jillian.

Even if cameras came, news vans, it would be ok, I could take it.

I was with Jillian, now.

Repeating that mantra, my gasping breath slowed, my head cleared.

I relaxed, put an arm around her, took a deep shuddering breath. Noticed she was naked, pregnant, outside, happy. I was nearly naked too. And it didn't bother me; we were here, together, this couldn't possibly be wrong in any way.

She saw my play of emotions, one after another, quick as a flipbook, turned to face me, hold me, cheek against my chest, arms around me. Just being here for me, her go-to family move.

Oh I love that move, so much.

"I'm ok."

"I know. I'm here; we're in this together."

It seemed funny. People knew, yet everything was pretty much the same. No swat teams, no news vans, I'd seen it, all of it, and it was just... normal.

Like this was any other Saturday morning.

"Nobody seems to be getting very excited."

She giggled. "You're not that big a thing, sweetie. Just ol' Greg, same as always. Same as you have been for years.

"Except now, you've saved that girl. Something nobody can ignore."

"So I'm not anonymous?"

She put me at arm's length, looked me in the eyes.

"You never were, goofus. I've been telling you.

"I knew about you before we met. Not you-you, just, the Finder, the stories. Only been here three days, I heard. Lost all my stuff, one of the bartenders said, Maybe the Finder can get it back.

"The only one lost, the only one who didn't know who you were, was Greg. Hiding from yourself? From all you'd been through, been hurt by, a lost boy.

"You will never be lost, again. Not as long as you live. You have a community, the people you've helped. The Vietnamese community, they have no trouble believing in you, it's part of their culture, to admit such things as you are possible, even normal.

"They have always respected you; kept your secret from the rest of the world. Because you wanted it kept secret, and it was only polite."

"And people would have thought they were crazy, if they told."

She smiled, wrapped me up again in those octopus-arms. Wrapped one leg around mine, melted into me.

"Only thing is, now I'll have to share you! I love you, and they love you too, because of Lan Vu, what you did for her, for everybody, making them feel safe, knowing you are here, trying your best."

"What we did."

She accepted that, to humor me, I think.

Somebody was coming up the walk, from the downtown direction. On foot, taking her time.

I didn't flinch, dodge back inside, even care very much; we were naked, in love, outside, so what?

And it was Khang, strange to see her so early on Saturday?

She waved, Jillian spotted her, waved back. Untangled from me, waited for her, holding my hand.

"What brings you out?"

"I had to get out of the shop! The phone won't stop! The visitors! Phuong! Driving me crazy!" She was smiling as she said it.

"Visitors?"

"Aunties! Seven so far! To arrange your wedding! Mrs. Tran! Mrs. Tram! Last night! This morning, three Nguyens, two Vus, no relation. More by now."

So, she knew about the girl, too.

Jillian lit up, let me go, padded over, hugged her sister. Khang looked extra-pleased to hug her back, one hand wandering down her naked hip, cupping her butt. Sweet! Those sisters are a joy, together.

"Will seven be enough?" Jillian was excited, wanted to know.

"Gonna have trouble finding something for them to do! I set Mrs. Tram to figuring it out; not our problem anymore!"

I was curious. "Phone calls? What's that about."

She looked at Jillian, shared a sister-rolling-eyes face.

"Your 'brothers', Greg. The guys that will walk with you, when you come over to get Jillian, your bride, take her home. Volunteers ready to stand with you, support your marriage, cousins and brothers and Uncles, as many as you want, now."

I swallowed hard, "How many?"

A shrug, an I-don't-know face. "Thirty? Fifty? Everybody? You have to feed them, by the way, at the reception."

That didn't bother me, ten thousand here, ten thousand there, it was not even on our radar anymore. Just as long as somebody was counting heads carefully.

"The Aunties will let you know! Make all the plans! Send you the bill!"

Khang surveyed the drive, the piled boxes and shrubs and bags. Nodded happily.

"You know what this is all about? Who arranged it?" I waved an arm at all the deliveries.

"Aunties! They know you are incompetent, wouldn't know what you needed to get, not raised Vietnamese, hopeless.

"Mrs. Tran phoned around, made sure you'd have it all, traditional gifts for your in-laws."

Alarm! "The Aunties must have spent a fortune!" They were on a fixed income; this expense could ruin them.

No. "They didn't pay shit. She just called; people sent the stuff. Nobody balked; they all just said 'give me his address'. Never be any bill."

I had a hard time asking any more questions. I had a hundred, but my voice was all stuck in my throat and I couldn't breathe properly without it coming out in gulps.

Jillian saw, came to me, gently put my head on her shoulder, held me like a little boy needs to be held, when he finds out everybody really does love him, just as he is.

...

Sitting on the porch, showered and dressed finally, rehydrating with something I didn't even look at, just grabbed and drank, I was way behind by now.

I listened to the sisters in the other room, my nieces, they'd come over too. Like a flock of birds, noisy and happy.

They were going through the bags of baby things, exclaiming over every outfit, each cuter than the last. Kelly sorting them by age, by size. Even Khang had nothing critical to say, knew these all came from love, from family, were to be celebrated and not analyzed.

Billie was loudest, her shrill squeal of glee over every little bonnet, every pair of booties, was why I was out here, where my abused brain could avoid splitting entirely.

Nick came out, had her fill of baby-talk, a spritzer in one hand. Pulled out a chair, next to me, sat, cracked the top, took a long pull.

We'd spent the last hour shlupping all that stuff into the extra bedroom, rain coming in soon. A little sore but good-sore, I needed the exercise after all that sitting motionless in the truck. Then the stress, then the bad sleep.

Felt almost human again.

Nick had not even noticed the effort, done twice what I did. Didn't ask about the stuff, already knew how this all worked.

"Would you walk with me? When I go to 'get Jillian' from Khang and Phuong?" I wanted to ask her before she wondered about it, what her part was to be.

A smile, bumped cans, took another drink.

"Who else you gonna ask?"

Besides, everybody? Some important ones, needed to hear me ask, to be respectful.

"Mr. Pham? Tito, of course. I think, Trevor."

She approved of all those.

"Papa Conti, he would get a bang out of it, learning about other traditions."

Nick had one. "Bartender at the Lance?"

I smiled; "I would, if I knew his name."

Got a laugh out of Nick; she didn't know his name either.

We sat there watching the surf, the weather roll in; hiding out really, letting all that ruckus happen inside. Until we heard a knock, somebody delivered something, and I saw it, smelled it from the porch.

Nick smelled it too, smiled: "Italian?"

We went in, I over-tipped the delivery gal. Helped open the takeout boxes, unpacked bread and salad and wine and sauce, spread it on the bar. Took some ourselves, left it to the family, fled back to the porch.

Ambrosia! I remembered I hadn't eaten a thing since when? Yesterday morning? No, lunch before going over to Phuong's, and that was just some of Jillian's Thai leftovers from work. Good, but didn't stick with you.

We ate, mopped up the sauce with bread, drank from the tiny wine bottles Papa Conti always packed, you can't eat his chow without the proper wine. Burped like two dock workers, heedless.

The noise inside had only increased. They'd started on baby toys, books, crib mobiles. No end in sight.

Nick and I shared a look, stood together, out the porch and down to the sand.

"The Lance first? Or Trevor's?"

No time like the present, get these invitations done. Had to be done in person, Khang had let me know. Like the Aunties, they didn't call, they came over, something like this needed to be face-to-face.

We agreed, Trevor's, then we'd ask him for the other bartender's name, two birds with one stone.

On the dry sand, didn't want to get wet today, not with a storm coming in, it was slower going.

"Nick? What's next for you? How can we help get you set up, launched on the next challenge?"

She looked startled, uncertain. "You don't, um, have to..." She didn't want to ask, but I knew, could See Jillian had got to her; she knew we were going to help, no real resistance, her whole posture made it clear to me.

"Swim lessons, for a start? Then diving, time in a pool, then off a boat. Just send us the bill, won't take no! As many hours on the water as it takes.

"It's the least we can do, you're being a real friend to help out on this one."

We both knew I meant, our criminal salvage escapade.

She agreed; that would all be great, thanks.

"Then, boat pilot training, navigation equipment classes. You have a line on that yet?"

"The shop in town has classes, equipment rep comes down from the city twice a year, next time is this winter. Not cheap."

"What's not cheap is getting stranded or stuck somewhere, holding cargo we can't explain. Again, thanks for stepping up."

Ok; she would look into that further.

The hard ask, now. "Jillian suggested, you need to take some time off work for all this, let her know. We'll make up for lost income.

"No! No objections. You know Jillian, she gets her mind made up, we all just say Yes Ma'am! Easier for everybody that way."

Nick was not comfortable with that one.

I won't tell her how to feel, not my place. I changed tone, getting totally honest.

"Nick. Everything we know is going to change, come spring. Some few of us know why, how. We have to make plans.

"Next few years, the news will get out, people will start making a fuss, a stir. We want to be ahead of that, before this first kid grows up, and all the kids after, so they have a chance to live a useful life, be appreciated for who they are, do their amazing things.

"Part of that is Tito, Kelly, their agency. Keeping the Family safe, knowing what's coming before it gets here. Head off trouble, so nobody gets hurt. They're on board with that, we're their first big client.

"Another part is people we can trust, useful people with skills, people who understand and accept. The more the better.

"Family, I think. Us, you, me, Billie, more.

"Yes, I mean Family, really. You're my niece, you and Billie, like it or not. Not because of, what does Phuong say? not in some tedious blood way, but in spirit.

"We're Family because we say we are. Nobody gets to tell us no; it's just a fact, a thing accepted.

"And family? Doesn't count favors, doesn't add up costs, budget or exchange or keep a balance sheet. We give and help and support with what we have. Not just some, or a lot. With all of it, everything we've got."

Nick was listening, nodding, understanding. Tears were streaming down her face, wetting her shirt, her shoes. Because Nick is like that, her emotions just bust out, and she never apologizes for it, just lets it happen, her heart pinned on her sleeve for anybody to see.

And for her, having a family was clearly a tender spot, a place she wanted to go but didn't want to ask. Because, you have to ask, you already know the answer.

"We're so lucky, we have a lot to share. We're gonna share it freely, any way it helps, among Family, all of us.

"So, you will take Jillian's advice? Learn what you need to learn, more. Develop skills, dive and pilot, drive, defend yourself, everything, from the best teachers you can find? Backed up by Family, by this amazing opportunity we have, to support anything and everything we can think of, deep, deep pockets, no limits.

"Your part, and I'm sorry if you don't see it this way but Jillian loves you and you are her niece and mine and part of this Family, your part is to figure out how you fit, learn what you need to succeed, to be the best you can at what you become. And use it for yourself first, and Family next, and help build a really amazing future for everybody."

That last part sounded pretty goofy, even to me. If I say it enough times, I will convince myself we can do it. It's worth doing.

We stopped, me waiting patiently for Nick's shoulders to stop heaving, get herself sorted. Then she hugged me, fiercely, which I enthusiastically returned, I love my niece too. Got her breathing under control.

We continued up the beach, the same but completely different. Because my niece has a Family now.

...

"How did she take it?"

I considered, taking my time, watching the tail end of the storm blow by.

Family had gone back to their various places, leaving Jill and me, and quite a mess.

"She was emotional," and Jillian nodded, of course she was, Nick was pretty much defined by that.

"and reluctant at first. Independent streak, used to making her own way, used to no support at all.

"In the end I laid it out, told her she was Family, no argument, love isn't rational."

Jill kissed me after that one, she liked that, it sounded just right.

"So, she'll let us pay for these classes, that's settled. Take our money, to make up for time lost from work.

"But more important, she'll ask when she needs something, accept help from her loving Auntie, her goofy Uncle. Try to stop being hesitant, be bold and brave and dare to think big."

That was pretty much everything; Jillian was done asking questions, turned her attention back to loving me up.

That was very nice for a while, I tried to give as good as I got, I think I succeeded. Sounded like she was enjoying it anyway.

Coming up for air, wet cheeks, mischievous grin, "We're gonna be married. Soon. With everybody watching."

Deep breath: she was just trying it on, testing me, helping me learn what Nick was learning, to accept help, love and support.

I smiled, a forced smile but I was getting better. Some of it did sound pretty good.

Walking with the community to fetch my wife from her sister and grandfather. Making her my wife, intimately, that was gonna be pretty fun, never mind she's already pregnant, our first time as a married couple.

Then the church, not at all sure what was going on there, but I just had to appear in a suit and pay the clergy, I have that one down.

And then, a big party! Arranged by Jillian's Aunties! A whole boatload of them, we had Aunties now, maybe a dozen, doing their best to make it an amazing day!

I can do this; I can do this. I keep repeating it, I may even begin to enjoy it. It was my idea after all.

Jillian giggled, amused at my discomfort. She was gonna be the real reason it all worked for me, the pot of gold at the end of this particular rainbow.

She lay back, not done with me but taking a break, got a little thoughtful.

"Whatcha thinking?" In no hurry, she was gonna be my wife, my sex-buddy, my partner forever.

"Just thinking about how we started. About our house in the country. This baby, babies to come. Family. Us, together, for always."

And just like that she was crying, happy and tears all mixed up, and I understood.