All Comments on 'You are Definitely Going to Hell Ch. 02'

need ch3 . I'm rooting for bec & rob

Great story, well written and constructed - one of my absolute favourites

You write a great story, I love it. Kind regards John

Great story ch3 please

LOVED it! you have a great knack for writing, hope to see more soon !

Excellent story. Creative, amusing, and fun. But way too many unanswered questions for this to be The End. Thanks very much writing and sharing it.

Great story line, enjoyed it very much…

Brilliant can’t wait for the next instalment

Thanks, nice start, looking forward to seeing where this goes

You have a good story going. Please continue.

Really good story and writing! I would suggest changing from first person narration when you show other people's point of view. In scenarios where Rob isn't present at all but still narrating, it feels a bit off, like that scene with Charlie's dad and his co-workers.

I really enjoyed this. After reading your other stories all I can say is good work you are getting better and better I look forward to your next post.

Great story please continue.

This story continues the horrible editing, or rather lack thereof, as in the first part. On page one you jump from first person to third person between the second and third paragraphs. Later you have the letter suddenly stop and he is narrating again in first person. As anon above said “great story, we’ll written and constructed”. NOT! I’m sorry but the writing is just awful. It is painful to read and it deflates any enthusiasm I might have for the characters.

I loved the story. Yeah, maybe there are some narrative issues, but I like the arc of the story. Keep it coming. Really hoping for a strong finish!

Great story keep it going

Bugger that's three stories I have to wait for the next episode.

The story is really really good. It needs another chapter.

A good story but what I'm really looking forward to is more of Isabel the beauty next door.

Bamo, 'Was very pleased until the non-ending. 'Characters were well done, the narrative unfolded fairly smoothly. Even though it had attributes of a sexual oddyssey (all these different partners) which I'm not fond of - this overcame any such objection for me. That's a sign you're doing something really well.

The non-ending was the dealbreaker. After 92 wordprocessor pages (10pt, anorexic margins), I couldn't believe being left high & dry. If no one else notices or comments on this - dismiss this criticism. Notice the posts: 'needs another chapter', 'can't wait for the next episode', 'keep it going'. So... this would seem that the story is unfinished, or it lacks an ending. I hope its the former. If that's the case, it would help to indicate there's more to come/to be continued. Being billed as a 2-part series makes me think that even if a continuation is done - the end of part 2 should be a complete story & this isn't.

I hope to read your other work, but because of the ending on this one - I'll check the last entry to make sure its complete.

-Dreaded Anonymous

nope, can't end like this...in one way I'm impatiently waiting for the rest of the story, in another way I don't want you to rush it as it's just such a great tale.

"I wish I could go bear back, but I can't afford to get pregnant."

Didn’t think a human could get a bear pregnant.

Tell me you’re working on the next part— you can’t leave this story here!!!

Great story, and characters - more please!!!!!!

Great story but it can't end here. Please carry on with writing more chapters.

Thanks

Thought that the scum Stuart Keane had gotten away with it. Looking forward to him getting rogered in chapter 3.

Payback is a bitch. Then there is the civil suit.

Loved the story other than looked as though no payback until chapter 3.

I love it

The story’s fun and believable in a fictional sorta way. I’m enjoying it. Still distracted a bit by errors in punctuation and word selection, e.g., virginal when you mean vaginal. Still, I know what you mean to say and so skip over it. But these interrupt your story’s flow.

You’re a very good writer. But your proofreaders are not getting it done.

Story is fun. I enjoy that it's not just all sex. The only drawback are the places where the grammar is wrong or the wrong word has been used ie. virginal instead of vaginal. These little mistakes can be read over because I understand the meaning or the intent. The problem is that it takes away from the flow. I feel your proofreaders are letting you down. I hope that's improved because this chapter has been out for awhile now.

I enjoyed this just as much as the first chapter. The characters and development are really good and the sex is too. Wish I had a tongue like Rob's mind! As others have mentioned the proofreading is a bugbear though.

Where has this story been hiding? 5-stars

Thanks, I truly enjoyed it. You have added something good to life, it's appreciated!

FWIW, my feedback is that I would have liked to get more details in the sex scenes, maybe that's just my personal kink. I am always keen to know what bodies look like, and lusty descriptions of the action, such as the "G-spot blowjob."

I especially felt that there were not enough words used to describe the pornstar's presumably luscious parts, and how they felt to Rob and Bec as the activity evolved for them. I rarely run into porn stars, other than vicariously, and I wanted to "get to know Bec/Lisa better!" And Rob, too - I wanted to know more what it was like for him with each woman.

Great. Lisa Lovegood is a hoot! Great rabbit hole to run down, lol