All Comments on 'You Break It, You Bought It.'

Good story lappie, thank you very much.

There was no real explanation why she would chest in her husband with a guy she knew from high school and the implausibly coincidental day off coupled with a fire was cringe worthy. It’s a huge city and he found them so fast, he should have been a detective.

Had to skip over a lot of extraneous irrelevant details, but the basic story was solid. Too bad Michelle didn't have the morals or ethics to be good wife, but she'll be a great "jounalist," especially for a rag like the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation.

Thanks for the effort.

Well written, but so sad.

Good story, but it was sad to see the devastation her fuckfest inflicted on Adam and Michelle (although she deserved it).

It's bizarre that she cheated on her husband when she was so in love with him. I guess people do thoughtless things without considering the consequences.

It was nice to see Clay's life be totally destroyed and that Michelle basically lost everything too. Publishing their engagement announcement was a genius idea! I just would've preferred a more uplifting ending for Adam.

Then you laid it on so thick with the epilogue, that I ended up feeling sorry for Clay. Did his kids deserve to lose their father for a one off shag?

As usual, a 5* story!

Always look forward to your stories. Thanks.

Great story, thank you for posting! :)

Hard to believe that the wife would cheat on him , knowing what she could lose. Interesting that you ignore the actual act of cheating. Knew from the title that the shops motto would come into play sometime , but expected him to just drop her at his doorstep. The newspaper ad seemed pulverized retribution. Still a very good story on a day of good stories.

Nicely written, if you play, you pay. Top marks. Thanks for sharing.

for too little

probably one of the saddest 5 star stories i've read in awhile... as always, really enjoy your work.

Great but very sad. No winners in this story. He did the right thing but did it leave him happy or sad?

Little boys, let me tell you something. If you can't not forgive ANYTHING, please please please do us all a favor and DON'T GET MARRIED. Let me lay down some hard truths for you little boys, men forgive, boys hold grudges. The only reason we have marriage at all is to meet Gods law on relationships. Woman have the easy side, they are to love their husbands and obey them. Men have the hard side, to be as Jesus to their wives. Not, JESUS who died for our sins. Who said for forgive 70x7 no matter the affront if the person is repentant. Michelle was repentant. It is a good thing he is named Adam, he will spend some time in Hell maybe he will learn. Michelle asked for his forgiveness, he refused, she is free of him now and she can move on. He is the one who failed, she was human and sinned, he failed the marriage because he could not forgive. She is lucky to be FREE of him.

Excellent characters,good storyline a decent story at last

you're a good writer but for goodness sake will you please learn the difference between PAST and PASSED and when to use them correctly.

I know I'm being pedantic but it's extremely annoying!

The title of the story seemed to foreshadow that the cheaters would wind up married to each other.

These two loved each other dearly, had a great marriage, but still ends the way it did. Him bitter, untrusting, scarred and heart broken. Her suffering as well. I couldn’t stay with a cheating spouse as well, but definitely part of the human condition with about half of married people cheat.. Sometimes no matter if you feel everyone is a good person and well intentioned there is no going back.

And it could’ve as easily happened where Adam cheated. In fact, stats say men are 50% more likely to cheat. And if it was him that cheated the roles would’ve been reversed. Stories like this where you have two good people, in young love, and one succumbs to temptation and there is no going back. A sad story 5 stars.

And I’m glad you didn’t have Adam move on with a hotter girl. Reality is that if both people are decent people, they will need time and distance for the wounds to heal.

Tight writing and nice story line. I loved it.

Another sappy and emotional jurno. Very well told and flowed nicely. Truth to power alright.

I'm not so sure Adam would have gotten away with the wedding announcement. That he did something "with malice and forethought " (I think I have the legal jargon right) probably would have landed him in court, at least as a defendant in a civil case for defamation of character. As much as Clay deserved it, as he told Michelle, actions have consequences.

Many years ago I was a broadcast, then a print journalist. One of the first things the managing editor impressed on me (as well as all new hires) was that an ethical, responsible reporter never, ever accepted anything from a source - not even a cup of coffee. If you met over a meal, then you paid for your own and expensed it. Accepting any kind of favor or gift from a political source was magnitudes worse, for obvious reasons. And passing off a press release provided to you by a political campaign as your own work was either stupid, lazy, corrupt, or a combination of all three. And sleeping with a (political) source...

That the main female character never even considers these bedrock principles of journalism means the author either wanted her to come off as an amoral, dim hack, or that the author is unaware that these principles exist. The only other possibility is that my experience and scruples are hopelessly out of date. Anyway, as soon as she accepted the lunch without a second thought, my suspension of disbelief was unsuspended. A 2.

I always enjoy your stories. You didn't go into what happened with their parents. If they had decent relationships with their parents, I'm sure they were looking forward to grandchildren. Considering what happened, I'm sure Michelle's relationship with her parents was damaged. Not only did she cheat on the man she loved, but it is now a public record. If she dates anyone, a simple search will turn up the facts. I hope she will enjoy being a single, lonely old cat lady. Maybe Clay will commit suicide - a single car accident.

This was a fun read. A good burn the bitch story is always a pleasure. Nicely played. Thanks for the hard work.

I really liked this story, but it makes me wonder. Does a woman in a truly loving marriage get coerced into an all day romp like this. I guess it can happen, but still I struggle with it. I hope it doesn’t happen as much as in these stories. Thank you

Well done tale from a well written author

Thank you for taking me on another emotional ride. Love the stories.

I felt she really didn't pay for what happened. She didn't lose the job but did go down a few notches I saw no real remorse or embarrassment. He is the one who lost but in a sense its for the best as she was not a faithful loving wife so its best to get out now. Clay should suffer more than he did.

Sad ending. Little erotica. 2 stars.

have a way of appeasing the masses. TK U MLJ LV NV

A very sad story that kept me interested throughout. I'm sure this is scenario that plays itself out more often than we know. People don't know what they have until it is gone. So very sad. *****

Believable characters, strong plot and the villains pay. What more could a reader want? Great job, Mr. Writer.

5*s always great reading your stuff. my only contention would be a bland epilogue. Of course it has to be realistic, but any misfortunes or burning had already taken place for her prior to the ending. this was just bland toast or wilted lettuce lol. basically lacked anymore emotion. The same for Adam, his future just fizzled too. thanks again for your hard work!! -Vicki

Loved it. Best story of the current bunch.

If I had one criticism it would be that the author perhaps overplayed the abhorrence that Michelle supposedly had initially for Clay, only to suddenly find her panties wet after meeting with him just a few times. Do we have a Martian Slut Ray lurking in the shadows? I think perhaps we do.

None the less, still a 5 star story and thanks for writing it.

The seduction was nearly half the story which I felt was kind of overkill but that's me personally. Others will probably disagree.

It's a sad story really, Adam could have probably nipped the whole thing in the bud but he wasn't really paying attention. Michelle was behaving oddly enough that he should have realize there was guilt and she was working out sexual frustration.... but she is married so why is she frustrated.... if he confronted them together before the dead was done, it would have shocked her out of her delusion.

Pay attention to your women fellas.

Clay was written as a player, one with "fine-tuned predatory instincts," enough of one that his brother was willing to act as his wing man, and expected this kind of behavior from him, and he was the best looking guy around, yet his wife was completely clueless? Remember: near the top of page 2, we were told that, when it came to seducing married women, this wasn't his first rodeo. More, Clay said that his wife would divorce him if he got caught, yet the way he was written, that wouldn't have been a major worry of his.

A guy who looked like Clay -- and even Adam had said that he should have been a model -- would had the girls lining up; how could his wife not have known?

This story will get great ratings, no doubt about that, because Adam stood up for himself and dumped his wife after one episode of cheating. And I'll give it points for one thing: there were no PIs or photos catching Clay balls deep in Michelle's ass.

But the real loser in this story was Adam. He had a gorgeous wife and a good life, and that's all gone now. Michelle was written as way too pretty not to have her pick of men no matter where she went, and a red-haired, green eyed woman with an amazing body in Atlanta would have a trail of guys drooling. Michelle will recover faster than Adam will.

Adam told Michelle, "I loved you with all my heart," and "I'd have given my life for you," typical clichés used in LW stories by cheated on husbands, but always untrue: if Adam had loved Michelle that much, he would have found a way to get past her fling. The only way you don't get past the fling is if you love yourself more than you love your wife. If their marriage had been the expensive antique cup in his parents' store, Michelle simply broke off the handle; it was Adam who chose not to super glue the handle back on, but throw the whole thing away.

A sad story, I sort of hoped they’d get back together. Unusual for me as I’m usually a BTB man.

Another chapter please.

For once the husband isn't written as the standard LW weak/cuckish husband. Instead he is decisive, recognizes how calculated and colded blooded his wife's slutting was, and places principle over his wife's after-the-fuck-fest protestations of "love" by divorcing her cheating cunt. The engagement announcement was a nice touch. LTW also gets credit here for not making Adam a former Seal, Delta Force operative, etc., and he also avoided the lazy writer's reliance on the stale "counseling" trope. This one is well plotted (ReedRichards must be jealous of the quality of the story because his "plot hole" claim is obviously bogus) and very well written.

So in the very beginning she says she can't stand this guy I guess based on her experience in High school yet when asked why she had sex with him she says in High School she had a crush on him? I understand she said he was no longer the guy she knew in High School but the statement of the long ago crush still throughs me off.

"If their marriage had been the expensive antique cup in his parents' store, Michelle simply broke off the handle"

That's actually a perfect metaphor.

When you break a valuable antique, it loses most of its value. Michelle broke the trust in their marriage and turned something beautiful into a worthless piece of shit.

Michelle was very happily married... but she still spread her legs for another man, just because she thought she could get away with it. Despite Adam being a wonderful husband, it wasn't enough to keep her faithful. How could he ever trust her again after that?

I’m loving this contest with many of my favorite writers, and this one is the best one yet!

This was another great story.

Hooked

Sometimes otherwise good people make utterly bizarre decisions and people who know them go: "What the hell were you even thinking? Why did you do that?"

I have enjoyed some of the stories by some great authors in this challenge ,This is one of the best.

I think reed Richard's comments ...his diatribe here which is essentially a way of blaming the husband as opposed to the wife ....is really quite sad and pathetic and speaks volumes about how deeply twisted and disturbed re Richards moral core and sense of right and wrong truly is

"Why I she cheat?" is often the question answered by the cheater. Most rationalize it in some way instead of answering truthfully. The real answer is because the cheater doesn't love the spouse, no matter what is claimed. In this case she said she loved Adam but it only took her one visit to break. Some love that is. Then she tried to blame Clay for her cheating. That's just ridiculous, but I guess there are a lot of people these days that refuse to accept responsibility for their actions.

All she had to do was say no the first time things got remotely inappropriate, which was the second visit. So no she didn't love him. Even in the worst of times and considering divorce, I have never considered cheating on my wife.

But it was such a sad, depressing story that I took no joy or entertainment from reading it. What a downer!

Another winner!

5

Great story. Love the character of Adam, and his attitude toward his wife's cheating. Michelle lost her marriage, which she apparently didn't value anyway, and in reality her good job. Clay lost everything, and took his brother down with him. RR just can't wrap his head around the fact that some men, and women, won't tolerate cheating. Period.

The plot . I could Not see Michelle a devoted loving wife, a professional reporter just letting her hormones take over and cheat. Her husband was so perfect and a great lover .Yet you needed a story ,so that’s the way you wrote it. Why would this women even take a risk no less breaking her vows for a one day stand. That was the worst calculation on her part. So many lives hurt or destroyed.

Great stuff, I found it amusing that the first sign of Adam going nuclear, the notice in the paper for the upcoming fake wedding, she folded. I'm used to reading stories here on LW where the guilty wife goes through all sorts of hell, rents a jumbotron at a baseball stadium, chases here husband to Alabama and nurses him back to health after he's been shot, proposes on her knees in front of his coworkers etc etc etc. Michelle is like, "Oh I see you are going to fight dirty, goodbye!"

Not complaining, just surprised, like Jason coming back to life 5 times before the end of a Friday the 13th movie I expected Michelle to do the same. But the way you painted her she strolled right into that hotel room. I would have expected Clay to keep his phone on though or at least see his brother the candidate know to call the hotel and get his campaign manager back because donors are more important than pussy in an election. Adam was cool, I enjoyed his back story and it strung the whole tale together very nicely.

I liked it!

- seducer got a decent beating;

- cheating wife really felt terrible, as she should have;

- great accidental discovery;

- room for a continuation, but not really needed.

A few oddball word/grammar distractions, but on the whole, smooth and readable.

In keeping with the china cup paradigm, I contend that she went way past the, "broken handle" stage. With a broken handle, if it is not too badly broken, the handle can be reattached with serious work by a highly skilled craftsman/artisan. It will not be the same as its fully original state, but appears to be the same to most people and is functional for its designed use. Michelle's fully desired, in depth, premeditated participation effectively shattered that cup so completely that some of the pieces were reduced to unrecoverable dust.

That said, I usually crave reconciliation because the couple was so very very good before the fall.

I appreciate your hard work, and I love your stories, but in this case, the devil’s in the details.

I grew up in Peoria, I know, pity me, and I even participated in the first performance at the Civic Center. (That’s neither here nor there, I just couldn’t believe the coincidence.)

And that’s my issue with this story. Too many coincidences. Are you telling me there was a fire at the Peoria Civic Center and nobody informed the clients, conveniently exposing Michelle and Clay’s absence AND the newspaper, actually a pool of media outlets, wasn’t good enough to be aware of this little bit of news, also conveniently exposing Michelle and Clay’s absence AND West Wind Fashions wasn’t ready for their shoot, conveniently sending Adam home early AND Clay, supposedly a player, didn’t hide his credit card statements from his wife, conveniently giving Adam the info almost instantaneously so he could confront them AND Adam and Clay checked into the same hotel in the Chicago area, conveniently allowing Adam to take his revenge, when Google tells us there are 140 hotels in the business district alone?

That’s a lot of AND’s to contend with in such a short time period. One or two you can let pass (and by the way, please learn that you go PAST something, I beg of you), but when you add it all up, well...

It’s still a good story, and the feelings are there, but it appears you didn’t take enough time when plotting to think things through. Almost all of these are simple fixes. Could I suggest you try an editor at the story portion, not just a copy editor, although that wouldn’t hurt either.

I always look forward to your stories, so please take this as it’s meant: constructively.

...as usual. 5 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

Great story, as usual. Easy 5*

Good job, thank you for the work to give us something for free. As always you spin an entertaining yarn.

very enjoyable read, thanks

I enjoyed this one quite a lot. My favorite part of the story is that Michelle was caught literally one step outside the room. She had no time to bask in the afterglow. Her life turned to immediate shit.

"Could her entire life really had fallen apart in just twelve hours?" - It wasn't "just twelve hours," it was the weeks that you allowed Clay to seduce you.

She KNEW exactly what Clay was doing, and instead of stopping him cold, she played along with him.

Great story. Felt like you rushed the ending just so you could used your story tag. If you break it, you pay

Good story, I was hoping Adam would end up with someone in the end. I'm glad Clay got put down hard.

Very clever. I get it, but too bad Adam could not find a way to forgive.

The wife wasn't evil, just foolish.

I expected a great story when I saw your name and wasn't disappointed. Good job, as always.

Excellent story. Very well written, sad, and emotional. I’m usually a big fan of the BTB genre but Please consider another chapter devoted to a plausible reconciliation. I think they both deserve a second chance at love.

A sad story. Temptation is a real brain scrambler. No winners here; 4 happy people become four sad people. Clay was the least sympathetic of the bunch, and the wife paid for it.

Truly a sad story. They really should have gone into couple's counseling. If not to mend the relationship, then al least to find the closure the both so desperately need.

Even though I did find the ending a bit rushed, this was another good story from one of the best writers here.

Could have used at least 1 or 2 more pages where the characters make their final transformation.

and too bland.

I see a lot of comments wanting reconciliation. I disagree. Adam was betrayed by the woman he loved. How could he ever trust her again? Michelle participated in the flirting and planning the affairs culmination. This wasn't spur of the moment. She gambled with her marriage and lost. If your marriage is important to you, don't risk it.

Once is enough.

No slip, no mistake, a planned event. Hope it got the expected results. Hey, since your old high school buddies. Maybe you can wear his jacket and go cruise the hang outs.

Stupid assholes

Far too long and predictable.

Thanks for sticking to the divorce rather then raac. It was premeditated cheating and that’s the worst kind. It’s hard to believe that so many readers are such liberal assholes...forgiveness is not an option !

Fine writing and story as always from this author, but as one anon commenter has pointed out, there were far to many 'coincidences' needed in this story for the plot to work.

I also think the wife's 'attraction' to and 'seduction' by Clay would had been more believable had there been some romantic connection in high school between the two, rather than just her 'crush' on him. Maybe the two dating in high school with Clay dumping her for another girl, or the two going steady and then drifting apart when they each went to different colleges. This past romantic link, for me, would have been more of a basis for her attraction to Clay, rather than just the 'Martian Slut Ray' scenario.

Just my thoughts. 5 star story from me.

Great writing as always. You feel you know the characters. Reconciliation is sometimes ok. Most marriages survive infidelity. Each set of people and their circumstances are different. Thats why life is so interesting.

Great writing again. I'm not sure the cheating slut wife got her just rewards though... Atlanta is far better weather than Chicago. Friendlier people too!!! She should have lost more than she did...

Too much of a sad sack ending, I just want to see Adam move on and be happy again, and not go out with a whimper in a few throwaway paragraphs.

Instead a full fledged ending where the author spend at least a page on him meeting someone new etc.

Showing, instead of telling.

When we fuck someone else's wife

Simply reading the comments one can deduce this is a well written, great story. Lots of compliments and even the detractors are pointing out nuances rather than significant deficiencies. Well done, laptopwriter! Your efforts are appreciated.

Keep 'em comin'.

You spent way more time on the setup than the finish. Ruined a good story.

Two unlikely events at exactly the same, least auspicious, time. One too many ‘suspension of disbelief’ situations. Closing down a major photoshoot and a civic center burning down! Yeah, it COULD happen but We-The-Readers have to believe it is plausible it DID happen!

4*\

This was an excellent story with biblical morals! Adultery is a sin stated in the Bible! A sinner can’t purposely sin then expect to be forgiven! It doesn’t work that way. This bible thumping anonymous doesn’t really understand what his bible is telling him. Yes your sins are forgiven but you can’t keep repeating your sins! If you do then you go to hell just like Adam’s cheating wife!

Long story, a statement of sex without description, and a cliched climax. One star.

Of course, by now, everyone knows you are a great writer. One of my fav ones. The story isn't bad either, just... predictable. It looks like many other LW stories with just a few touches that show you unique approach to this kind of situation. I truly believe that you are better than this tale. Don't let anyone take away from you what makes you one of a kind. Revist "Between the pages of Adultery", or "A family torn", or less known stories like "The Call/The Last Call" or "The Volunteer". THIS is who you are as a writer. This is story is not you.

But I had to agree with Anon 10/20/20. Your writing is unique and even though I usually identified with your perspective and creativity, not as much on this story. There was nothing wrong with the story just lacking your unique qualities. Thank you, nice read

LTW: You are one of this site, and most likely, one of the worlds great writers. Probably are well published, with novels on the best seller lists...I don't know, but your writing reflects that, and more.

You come-up with so many great ideas for stories, and you're such a good writer, after I get done reading another of your stories, I set there amazed, wondering how the hell you come-up with all these great story plots and ideas? How the hell do you DO THAT all the time?

I hope you never stop writing stories and posting them here! This site would never be the same, without your stories! I sincerely mean that!

I hope to God, we will ASAP, find a real vaccine and cure for this Covid-19 SHIT, and all other strains of flu, so we never have to contend with this ugly killing shit, ever again, anywhere in this world!

Nice to see you not go with the usual RAAC

laptopwriter

Another excellent submission by a writer who knows how to create an entertaining yet insightful commentary on the so-called modern marriage. I am already looking forward to your next one!

TOO BAD IT TAKES ONLY ONE MISTAKE TO RUIN A MARRIAGE. AS MUCH AS HE LOVED HIS WIFE HE COULD NEVER TRUST HER AGAIN. NOT A WAY TO LIVE, EVER. BEEN THERE AND DONE IT!

Great story but it should have been listed under "Tragedies" if they such a category. I did like the title, You Break You pay"

Add me to the list of cudos. Great job making the reader feel the pain.

Thank God this isn't a RAAC story and is one where the hero has class and self respect. 5 stars!

Love this story!!! No RAAC!!!

Clay didn't even have to try. Her panties dropped so fast it was as if they were dipped in grease. He took her to one lunch, grabbed her ass, and she was his. He just told her "This week I'm going to fuck you". She didn't even pause for breath before saying okay. The worst part was, she from the very beginning that Clay wanted in her pants, knew at every step of the way what he was doing, and she didn't hesitate for a second. Divorce was the only option.

Never read it before today. Liked it a lot. Sometimes people do really stupid things and most of the time nothing comes out of it but once in a while it does wreak chaos. (the 2012 adultery survey (70 000+ people) shows that more than 70% of the time cheaters completely get away with it and only a meager 2% get caught in the act, while 6% confess)

I feel sorry for Adam and also for her, in a way. What a terrible thing to do to someone you love. Even if you don't get caught, the guilt lasts forever (from the same study, 50% feel lingering guilt, among other things). The effect on the cheated's self worth is devastating.

I used to work and business travel with a (married) guy that was a real hound. One day he came boasting that he had sex with an older woman in his car, laughing about it, saying would you believe, she is fifty years old with two grown-up kids and we were doing it in the car like teen-agers. I said did you think she could lose her husband and family over this. He looked at me like I was from mars. These guys get their kicks from the seduction, they just don't care about other people's life. I sometimes wish I told his wife.

Decent story.

But one point.

If a shop owner wants you to pay for any breakage they are in the wrong business.

Either set the shop up so customers or their kids can't break things or write them off and get the insurance payment or don't open a shop to begin with.

His parents would have gone out of business due to being clueless on how to actually run a business.

Other than that a good read.

4*

I've really enjoyed reading most of @Laptowriter's stories. But a couple of them fell like the endings rushed. This is one of them. It's almost like they lose interest in the story. The ending of this story isn't consistent. Adam's attitude completely changes with his attempt at revenge. He seems to become really cold towards Michelle prior to putting the advertisement in the paper Adam was desolate and felt Michelle's tears every time he spoke to her then suddenly he goes emotionally cold. I think that if @Laptopwriter hadn't lost interest in the story then maybe the story would have headed for reconciliation. Once again there's no real explanation of why a loving wife would cheat on her husband who is supposedly the centre of her universe. The infatuation explanation in this story really doesn't fly as a reason.

Beautiful story. Nice build up.

This one bugs me. She is a stupid bitch but I feel bad for her. That is a credit to you Laptopwriter. You know how to show, how to write emotionally rather than just tell. It's both a skill and a talent. When a writer had both, watch out!

Funny thing, I could see a reconciliation here. She fucked up big time and got so infatuated that she lost perspective. That's very different from a drawn out affair. I am not saying she was right or that Adam was wrong to divorce her, it's just that I have seen these situations resolve where the husband and wife get back together. Oh, he definitely needs to get laid to return his self esteem but I believe they could move forward. Innocence would be lost of course but they might just be stronger. Shrugs

Starsong

I believe I know what happened here. The author really wanted to use the “you break it, you buy it“ metaphor and had some trouble coming up with a convincing way to squeeze it in. Putting it into the newspaper as a wedding announcement was really weak, and not in character for the protagonist. We’ve already established that he is not a gratuitous asshole, and this shows him to be one.

I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t particularly like it either. It just felt thrown together.

Two stars.

Not much in the way of payback, no reconciliation, no moving on... Just a kinda meh story.