All Comments on 'Yours to Use'

This simply wasn't erotic.

This was just writting with no meaning.

Why is this posted here? Are they married or even engaged? Do they have a relationship or is it a bar pick up? Seems to me this should have been an erotic coupling story

It is impossible to write a hot story in the second person. Utterly impossible. If you want people to read what you write, use the first or third person.

....or value. They are merely suggestive shadows of a far more attractive reality or a far better representation of it on canvass.

So was this item as compared to reality or even real storytelling.

Im surprised by the negative comments, I think it was really hot and an interesting techique with the perspective switch.