You've Lost That Loving Feeling

I was getting really pissed off by this whole discussion, and snapped, "So instead of talking to me, her husband, about her insecurities, she's talked to you and, worse yet, was thinking about cheating with her ex?"

Mom shook her head. "I agree not talking to you was wrong, but Andrea knew how hard you were working and she didn't want to burden you." That hit me like a sledgehammer. When had I become such a shit husband that I was unapproachable? Fuck!

"Andrea's my daughter-in-law, but also my friend, and needed someone to confide in. I didn't want to be one of those mothers-in-law who meddle in their child's marriage, so I didn't say anything to you. I see now that may have been a mistake. Andrea had shared how in the last few months, Dwight's been dropping hints about getting back together. She'd always blown him off, until that horrible Martin woman began suggesting you could be having affairs. That's when Andrea started taking Dwight more seriously."

By now, I was so furious I could barely see straight. "Andrea actually believed I was cheating on her? That's bullshit! You know I'd never do that, right?"

My mother nodded, "Of course I know, dear, and I told Andrea as much. But with Lisa Martin feeding her insecurities, she wasn't sure what to believe."

I angrily shook my head. "Look, I haven't been the most attentive the last couple of months, but that's no excuse for cheating! I know for a time Dad wasn't always the greatest husband, but you never cheated on him!"

Mom sighed. "Actually, son, you don't know how close I came to it."

Whoa! I sure didn't see that one coming. Incredulous, I stopped unpacking and sat down on the edge of the futon.

"It was right after your Aunt Amanda died. Amanda and I were best friends as well as sisters-in-law, and she'd asked me to look after your Uncle Shaun once she passed away. A few days after the funeral, I looked in on him. He'd basically crawled into a bottle and stayed there."

I'd always admired my Uncle Shaun. During the 2007-2008 recession he'd saved our house from foreclosure after Dad was laid off, and even paid college tuition for my sister and I until Dad got another job. He was also the man who gave me his Triumph TR2 before moving to Seattle with his new wife. This was the same TR2 I'd sold after getting married because it wasn't a good car for a family man. Now that my marriage was imploding, I was beginning to regret selling it.

"With all his career woes, Ron had been neglecting me for years" Mom explained, "I'd gained weight, which made me feel unattractive and unlovable. Shaun never made me feel that way, though. Ever since he was the best man at our wedding, he'd always treated me like a princess. He was that way with Amanda, too. That's just who he is, he's a loving man who doesn't hold back. Even Cherry, his new wife, said the same thing when they came to visit."

I nodded in agreement, "Yeah, Uncle Shaun is a great guy. But what's he got to do with you wanting to cheat?"

Mom sighed before answering. "We talked for a bit, mostly about Shaun regretting his focus on work and not making enough time for Amanda. Then we talked about Ron, and the bad blood between them. He claimed if it weren't for his bank account, Ron would forget he was alive."

Yeah, I definitely remembered that bad blood. Dad may have been the older and bigger brother, but Shaun had kicked his ass when they were younger, and would have gladly done it again. Dad never said so, but I always suspected that he resented how Shaun had rescued him from his financial troubles.

Mom took a deep breath, then continued. "Shaun was all worked up about Ron when it happened. He suddenly got a funny look in his eyes, took me into his arms, told me I was beautiful then asked me when was the last time Ron told me that. I could barely breathe, he was so intense.

"I told him to stop because I was nothing special, just a frumpy old housewife. Having just lost Amanda, that made him really mad. He told me if he was Ron, he'd be loving me up every day. And that's when it happened: he kissed me."

"So what? I saw Uncle Shaun kiss you a bunch of times when he and Aunt Amanda would visit."

Mom shook her head. "Those were polite 'hello and goodbye' kisses. This wasn't one of those, it was a passionate kiss, tongue and everything. He even put his hands on my ass and pulled my crotch into his erection. I swear, Daniel, after your father had treated me like a piece of furniture for so long, Shaun could have stripped me naked and taken me on the floor right then without a fight, I wanted him so badly."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "So you cheated with Uncle Shaun?"

Mom sighed. "As much as I wanted to, it didn't happen. It was Shaun that stopped us. He whispered to me that if I weren't married to Ron he'd fuck me senseless, but he couldn't take away the most valuable thing in his brother's life, even if your father was too fucking stupid to appreciate me. Then he told me he was selling everything except for that classic car of his, and was leaving town." The look on Mom's face was bittersweet. She was nearly swept away until my Uncle had thrown cold water on things for my Dad's sake.

Mom continued, "Your uncle did me one last favor though. He sent an email to your father about treating me right. I never knew exactly what it said, but it must have been some strong words, because suddenly your father changed. It was like we were newlyweds again, he was constantly affectionate, to the point I got pregnant with your baby sister."

My head was spinning. "It's nice to hear that Dad came around, but what's the point of you telling me this?"

"My point, Daniel, is because of my insecurities and feeling ignored, despite loving your father I was very tempted to cheat. I'm not saying what Andrea did was right, far from it, but I want you to understand what might have been going on in her head. I'm hoping when she tries to reconnect, if you understand her it will help the two of you heal."

It didn't matter if she was my mom or not, I'd had enough of MaryAnne Parrish.

"Let me tell you something, Mother," I hissed, "I love you, but you're fucking delusional if you think I'll ever reconcile with Andrea. I stood there and listened as Andrea and that Lisa Martin bitch discussed Dwight and his big penis, mocking me and referring to my dick as a baby carrot. This is who you're siding with. To hear that my own mother is an accomplice to my wife betraying me is too much."

Overcome with anguish, I buried my face in my hands. My throat was tight, but after about a minute of silence I managed to choke out, "Knowing you stabbed me in the back, I can't stay here. I'm leaving and going to a hotel. You can take Chloe back to Andrea tomorrow, but tell my wife I don't want that bastard Dwight Wilson anywhere near my kid. And you can tell that whore that I'll be filing a harassment restraining order against him to make sure he stays the fuck away."

The pain my anger had been holding back suddenly burst through, and tears began rolling down my face. Without looking at Mom I told her, "Uncle Shaun used to tell me that next to Amanda, you were the kindest woman in the world. I'll be calling him tomorrow to tell him exactly how wrong he was. Now go away and leave me the fuck alone."

I heard Mom quietly sob as she walked out, while I began to angrily repack the suitcases I'd just unpacked. Shit!

Friday morning I woke up in a room at the Stanford Park Hotel. Apparently the nightmare of discovering my wife cheating on me with her gym trainer as an accessory, then being falsely accused of fucking my boss, and further discovering my own mother was an accomplice to the cheating, was in fact not a dream, but very real instead. Shit!

Wanting to make an appointment with an attorney ASAP, I grabbed my phone off the night stand and turned it on. The text and voicemail notifications immediately began going off; I had twenty-three texts and nine voicemails from Andrea, which I immediately deleted. At the moment I had zero interest in anything she had to say..

The same went for my mother. I had six voicemails and three texts from her, which I also immediately deleted. There was one voicemail from Gina Royce asking her to call her as soon as possible. I'd do that later.

The first person I called was Uncle Shaun up in Seattle. He was happy to hear from me and started asking about me and the family, but I told him we'd have to catch up later because I was going through a tough time and needed a recommendation for a divorce lawyer.

Hearing that, he asked no further questions, instead reassuring me he'd make a few calls to some of his contacts here in the Silicon Valley and get back to me in a few hours.

The next call I made was to Rohan Meher over at Sovereign Realty, one of Royce's main competitors.

I'd met Rohan at a charity auction three years ago, and he told me he'd heard about me and to give him a call if I ever wanted to leave Royce. I'd laughed, responding that as long as my wife and I both worked at Royce, it wasn't going to happen. Since Andrea and I were splitting, staying at Royce no longer mattered, did it? It only took a thirty minute conversation to secure my new position. I'd asked to start in three weeks, to give me time to get my life together. He quickly agreed.

Then I called Gina Royce. I was determined to make this discussion quick and painless. Gina, however, had other plans. As soon as she realized it was me calling, she put on a full-court press about rescinding my resignation.

"Daniel, you can't quit! You're really starting to hit your stride! Your clients and co-workers love you, you're a natural!"

I snapped back, "Gina, my marriage to Andrea is wrecked, partially because your personal trainer told my wife you were determined to have me! Andrea believed it, and used it as justification for a revenge affair."

Gina sounded outraged. "Surely you can't blame me for the blatherings of an idiot gym rat like Lisa Martin. She's as shallow as a mud puddle, only good for watching other people exercise and getting paid for it!"

"Andrea believed it," I hurled back, "why would Lisa say it if it wasn't true?"

Gina reluctantly answered, "The gym is not the most professional environment, so I may have offhandedly engaged in a bit of off-color girl's locker-room talk with her, but it was nothing more than that."

"That locker-room talk broke things in our marriage that can't be fixed," I barked, "I can't forgive that, Gina. No, scratch that, I won't forgive that. At this point I find you morally reprehensible. Effective immediately, I'm no longer working for you. Starting today I'm taking some personal time to get my personal affairs in order, after which I'll be working for Sovereign Realty. I'll drop off any Royce property I have in my home office, and per state law, I expect you to send me my final check within 72 hours."

I had no idea why Gina was trying so hard to change my mind -- I was just another realtor, everything I could do Andrea could do better - but she pleaded with me one last time, "David, this isn't like you, you're being unreasonable!"

"I agree Gina, but I'm learning to live with it. Thanks for your time, now fuck off." I disconnected, then blocked her number.

A few minutes later, Uncle Shaun called me back with a divorce lawyer recommendation, Tara Young. She had a reputation as an Elizabeth Bathory with a law degree, a woman with a lust for courtroom blood. Just what I needed! I called and made an appointment for Monday morning.

Before ending the call, Shaun invited me up to Seattle to visit him, Aunt Cherry and their kids. I told him I'd visit as soon as I got the divorce papers squared away, thinking maybe being in the Pacific Northwest could help me unwind from all this.

The next step was to take care of Dwight "Lightning" Wilson once and for all. He'd ruined my marriage, and payback, as they say, is a bitch; I was going to go at him hard. Since my laptop was still in my home office up in Portola Valley, I went down to the hotel's business center and sent an email to the most obnoxious, intrusive, underhanded, and oh by the way, most popular celebrity website on the internet: The Celebrity Zone aka "TCZ'.

I explained that I was married to Dwight Wilson's ex-wife Andrea, and he was jealously trying to break up our marriage and get her back. I was going to be naming him in the divorce case I'd be filing, and I was looking for help to smear him for all the pain and injury he'd caused me. I wanted the help of their research staff to scour public records and dig up as much dirt on old 'Lightning' as possible, and in return I'd give them first-hand access to the unfolding drama. I hit 'send', knowing that offering them dirt on a nationally-known sports broadcaster was ratings gold.

When I was younger, Dwight Wilson had been one of my heroes of the gridiron. When I finally met him face-to-face for the first time, he'd been rude and insulting, dismissing me as an annoying kid, telling Andrea to dump me; I'd never forgot that. Now, this annoying kid was about to rain fire on his world. I expected they'd get back to me in a day or two; it took them four hours. It was a real Shakespearean moment for me when, like Marc Antony, I cried "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war.

There were a few more things I needed from the house: my laptop, my toiletries, and enough clothes to last me until I could find a new place to live. I also hoped to see Chloe and kiss her goodbye, since I didn't know how long it would be until the custody arrangements were worked out, but that would mean Andrea would be there, and I didn't want that. I unblocked Andrea's number and texted her that if it was convenient, I'd be there between 4:00pm and 5:00pm and wanted her out of the house during that time. My phone's texts quickly began blowing up with messages, none of which I read before deleting and blocking her number again.

When I pulled up a little after 4:00pm, I saw that not only was her car in the garage, sitting on the driveway outside the front entrance was a red Ferrari, license plates 88WLSON. This was not good. The last time I'd seen those plates, it was on a 400 horsepower Porsche 911 Carrera 4S. Now it was on a 600 horsepower Ferrari Portofino M. The 911 Carrera was the car his son Anthony had wrecked after I'd taught him to drive a stick shift. Apparently after signing his new contract with ESPN, Dwight could afford an upgrade.

Afraid of what kind of welcome awaited me in the house, before stepping inside I used my phone to activate the interior home security cameras. For the second time in two days, I arrived in the right place, wrong time.

As I walked into the kitchen, I saw Andrea and Dwight standing with their arms around each other, apparently engaged in some kind of intimate conversation, if their low voices were an indicator. By this time, I was no longer angry; instead, I was emotionally numb. No surprise, they were discussing me.

"Come on, Andrea," Dwight insisted, "That little shit is nothing! Without you he couldn't sell an ice cube in the desert!"

Andrea protested, "That's not true at all, Daniel is good at what he does, and he keeps getting better. He just won a top sales award!" Ah, turns out she read the greeting card on the counter after all. The $3.50 I spent wasn't a total waste, then. Shame about the $35 I spent on the flowers, though.

Dwight was now running the equivalent of a run-and-shoot offense on Andrea. "Come on, baby, you need to be with me! I've got a suite booked at the Auberge du Soleil resort in St. Helena. I want you to come with me for the weekend and we can work things out. It'll be like our second honeymoon. Will you do that for me?"

Before she could answer, he kissed her. Andrea's response wasn't exactly enthusiastic, but she didn't turn away. My heart sank; I was so numb, I felt like I'd been sedated. At that point, the two percent possibility of us reconciling just dropped to zero.

I cleared my throat, and Andrea jumped like I'd zapped her with a cattle prod. She pushed Dwight away, but before she could say anything I let her have it.

"What kills me, Andrea, is that you chose this ass-wipe over me. You must have a really bad memory, so let me remind you that this is the same fucker who cheated on you while he flew around the country, and left you at home alone to take care of his newborn son. He's also the bastard who yelled at his own son in the hospital after the kid was almost killed in a car accident!"

Dwight wasn't stunned at all. If anything, he seemed invigorated to see me. The man was competitive, I'll give him that, and enjoyed a fight. He growled, "That was five years ago, asshole, I've been trying to make it up to my son."

I snorted my derision. "Yeah, too little, too late, butthead. That doesn't change the fact you deserted your family when the kid was less than a year old, and missed the most important years of his life!"

Another thing I'd learned about Dwight is that the big jerk had both a thin skin and a quick temper. I could see a vein bulging in his forehead already. I went ahead and poked the bear one more time. "You won Andrea from me, I'll give you that, but how long until you cheat on her and dump her again?" I glanced at Andrea as I said that, hoping it would hurt. Judging by the look on her face, mission accomplished.

Dwight was clearly not amused, and threatened, "I ought to kick your punk ass, you little bitch!"

Emotionally numb as I was, I found that laughable. "Ooooh, scary! You threatened me before back when Anthony was in the hospital. I wasn't scared then, and sure I'm not scared now. Go fuck yours-" I didn't get to finish, because a moment later I was on my stomach, struggling to pull my face off the kitchen floor.

The kitchen home security cam video later revealed Dwight snapping out a quick backhand that caught the left side of my head, knocking me backwards and spinning me around before I landed face down on the floor. There was no denying that for a guy in his late 50s, the old fucker still had quick reflexes.

I did recall hearing Andrea angrily shouting at Dwight and dialing 911, then an ambulance ride to the Stanford Hospital Emergency Room. She tried to get in the ambulance, but I was conscious enough to tell the EMT's not to let her in. When we got to the hospital I was given neurological and cognitive tests, as well as CT scan. The diagnosis was a mild concussion, so they sent me back to my hotel with an ice pack, telling me to rest. Looking in the mirror, I saw that Dwight had blackened my eye as well.

Dwight was arrested and charged with misdemeanor battery, then posted bail and was released. While I was waiting in the ER for the results of my tests, I wasted no time in using my phone to access the home security camera footage from cloud storage and share it with the friendly folks at the TCZ website. I had to admit, the 1080p HD camera had done a great job of picking up both the audio and video of entire episode, including footage of Dwight urging a married woman to cheat on her husband, then assaulting the husband. Ratings gold, baby!

It was about 11pm when I finally got back to the Stanford Park Hotel. I'd forgotten I'd left my phone on (a concussion will do that to you) and I'd received a bunch more texts and voicemails, mostly from Andrea and my mother. There was also one from Anthony, my soon-to-be former stepson. I deleted it along with all the others. He was a good kid, I didn't want him involved in this shit show any more than necessary.

I ordered a grilled cheese from room service, along with a glass of sangria. When I finished my meal, it suddenly hit me: for the first time in almost 6 years, I was completely and utterly alone.

My father was on an international business trip, my sister was in another state living her life with her husband, I refused to go see my backstabbing mother and my baby sister, my cherished wife had mocked my penis and thrown away our marriage for her ex, my daughter was off-limits until I gained custody, and I wasn't about to pull in my friends Zach and Terri to this horrible soap opera.