All Comments on 'Zip line'

Switching back and forth between tenses was annoying. Nice story otherwise. Proof read and get an editor.

Very hot story. The nudity and the sex, not the near tragedy. Love nude hiking/ camping / skinny dipping / sex with nature.

Please, if you choose past tense then stick with it. Jumping from past to present tense and back is distracting and sloppy.

Great Story! Thanks for writing!

Neat!

She will get him killed eventually; RUN!!!!

You’re a great writer and I enjoy your stories. In this one I noticed that at one point you switched from the past tense to present tense and then back to past tense for the rest of the story. I think it was to add drama, and it is common to use present tense these days when telling a story. I think the use of present tense is distracting and only detracts from most stories. It seems like a cheap attempt to get attention. But that’s just my opinion. Do you know why you did it?

There's a lot of latent misogyny in this story. Yikes.

I love comments and to the previous misogyny commenter. I'd love it if they contacted me directly. Some dialogue was put into show his awkwardness around younger women after what happened with his wife. And the physical components and age gap are formulaic for the story

However, I would genuinely love to talk about where I could improve. I only publish stories here to become a better writer. If I can write stories with relatable characters, personalities and dialogue, every critique is appreciated

I really enjoyed this story, because it was a good story, not just a description of some sex. It was believable, it have the sex some context. I didn't have a problem with changing tenses. And you're right, the first entrance is special