Gale Force Ch. 12

Season Two, cont.

Things got strange after that.

Gale agreed to a slice of quiche and after cleaning the cum out of his under shorts, he joined me in the kitchen. But I felt raw. Sex had been something that I hadn't had much of and I felt as if I'd told him my greatest secret. I was terrified. I think he sensed my unease as well because he took his slice to go, leaving me satiated but pacing the floor.

The next day, I responded to him as I did to everyone else and the look on his face was one filled with hurt. I knew that I was letting him down but even weeks afterward, I was still having problems reconciling myself with what had happened. He didn't talk to me when I brought his lunch and I started questioning what I'd done. When it came to Sunday, he backed out of our regular date, saying that he was tired from partying with the cast members the night before. I was doubly hurt. Not only was he canceling, but he hadn't invited me out with the cast.

After the wedding episode, Ron and Danny gave the cast a two week vacation, citing worries about fatigue and burnout. The production was going well and they wanted to make sure that everyone was in sync. Gale came to see me as Jhonna and I were packing up from the last meal and he gave her an appreciative kiss on the cheek, making her rush away with a shy smile. We stalked nervously around each other, afraid to make eye contact.

He finally spoke. "So what are your plans?"

"My plans?"

"Yeah, your plans for the break."

"Nothing much. Planning menus, ordering ingredients, you know. The usual."

"Not going to see anyone?"

I checked spice lids, ensured that they were tightly closed and shut the plastic case. "Maybe Jhonna. She's going to visit her family in Houston and she's invited me to come with her."

"So you're going to Houston?"

"Yeah, I think so. I deserve a vacation, don't you think?"

He sauntered over, moving close enough to whisper to me. "How about taking a few days off with me?"

Fat Girl woke up, thinking that it would be a splendid idea but I forgot that I had a brain. "I don't know if that would be a good idea."

"Why wouldn't it?"

"I don't know, Gale." I covered another container of meat with foil and put it in the box. "I mean, what are we playing at?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that you're really not interested in me."

"I'm not?"

"Not really. I think that I'm just a dalliance for you."

"A dalliance? Is that what you think?" The hurt in his eyes was more than I could handle and I had to turn away, blinking away tears. "I thought we were friends."

"Weare friends." I sputtered. "But I ... I'm just getting really attached to you and I don't want to get hurt."

"I see." His words were hollow and I heard the lack of emotion in them. I wanted to look into his eyes but I was suddenly terrified that I made a mistake. That was Fat Girl talking. Or maybe it was me. "Well, have a good time." And with those words, he walked away.

I went to Houston with Jhonna and tried to convince myself that I'd done the right thing, for both Gale and myself. He was a star, a brightly burning beauty of a young man and there were thousands of beautiful women just itching to be on his arm. It wasn't where I should be or could be, for that matter. He deserved someone that was as beautiful as he was. If we had started something, he would have eventually come to the realization that an overweight black chef was not photo-friendly.

"You let him go, didn't you?"

"I had to." I moved over on the stoop, making room for her to join me and we sipped on our drinks, watching the fireflies flit about.

"He really cares for you."

"I know. That's the problem."

"What is the problem exactly, Cary? I'm having trouble understanding just what's so wrong about being with Gale."

"It's not right, Jhonna. That's the problem."

"But why?"

"Because I'll ruin his happiness, that's why."

I quickly swallowed the rest of my drink and arose, stumbling inside because the tears were beginning to roll down my cheeks and there was no way I could stop them.