I had taken a job as an estate agent in May and I found that I really enjoyed selling houses. People turned up, we would wander around someone else's house and then they bought the house and I made money. It combined my two major interests; being nosey and making money.
However, as the winter gets closer, I am finding it much harder. There are fewer people who want to buy and the more experienced agents are picking up all of them. Weeks go by with no viewings and no sales. Now, with Christmas coming up, I really need to make a sale to pay for all of the presents and parties.
I am in the office when the phone rings, I pick it up. Great. It is someone who wants a viewing of a small 2 bedroom house locally. I quickly put on my coat and gloves and dash out through the door.
When I arrive, you are standing there waiting for me. I look at you and notice you are quite attractive. I walk towards you and you smile a broad smile.
"Are you Helena from the agency?"
"Yes." I reply and walk up and unlock the front door.
"After you." I say.
You walk in through the door into a small hallway and I follow you in.
"This is the hall" I say as I take off my gloves "and if you turn right, you will see the kitchen." I put my gloves in my coat pocket, take off my coat and hang it up.
I walk through the hall and into the living room and it is then that I notice the mud on the floor.
"They could have vacuumed before we came round!" I think following the trail with my eyes until, to my horror, I realise that it leads right up to my boots and then stops.
"Ah!" I say with an embarrassed smile "I guess that the mud is down to me. Will you excuse me a second?" and I tiptoe back to the front door. I take off my boots and leave them on the doormat.
As I walk back towards and, as I reach the door to the living room, I reach out to turn on the light switch.
"That will be the static electricity." you say.
"It's probably due to your tights on the carpet".
"OK ummm well will you excuse me for a second while I show myself the downstairs toilet and solve this problem?"
"Of course." you say and smile again.
I quickly rush to the loo being careful not to touch anything electric, yank off my tights and come out again. As I pass, I stuff the tights into the pocket of my coat.
I go back into the living room where you are waiting.
"Would you like to see the downstairs loo now? I've just seen it and it's very nice."
"Sure." you say and walk up to it, open the door, look inside. "Yep. That's the downstairs toilet. I don't know why I looked at it really. It had what I expected; a lavatory and a basin. Maybe one day I will look into one of these and see a recreation of the inside of the Taj Mahal."
"I know what you mean." I say "I mean I don't understand people video buildings. What do they expect them to do? Would you like to see the upstairs now? Maybe there's a room up there which looks like the inside of Buckingham Palace."
"Why not?" you reply
I walk up the stairs and show you into the first bedroom. "This is a bedroom." I say.
"It's odd that someone who doesn't understand why anyone would video a building is quite happy to walk into an upstairs room in a house with a bed in it and tell me that it's a bedroom."
"You're quite right" I say "but then I don't know what else to say."
As I go to leave, you say to me "Haven't you forgotten something?"
"Well, every time you have shown me into a room so far, you have taken something off."
"Have I?" and I go back through the tour in my mind. "Oh yes."
"And with Christmas coming up, I expect that a nice sale will help you financially."
I do a quick count of clothes and rooms; 2 bedrooms and one bathroom against a jacket, skirt, blouse, bra and knickers. I would be down to my underwear but it would be no worse than going on the beach in a bikini. And I do need the money. "Yes it would."
"Well then, haven't you forgotten something?" I smile and undo my jacket and it slides to the floor.
I walk into the bathroom "And this is the gymnasium." I say while slipping my blouse from my shoulders.
"Didn't we just come through the landing?"
"Well that's another room on here."
I sigh to myself. You're quite right. It is marked down as a room. My skirt hits the ground and I am left in just my knickers and bra. One room left and two items of clothing left. Now I will end up topless.
You open a cupboard door. "Is this the airing room?"
"Well, it's not really a room."
"But it's here on the plans as Airing Room."
I quickly check the plans.
There it is.
Plain as day.
"What?? I think to myself "Who calls it an airing room? It's a cupboard with a boiler and some slats. It's not a room."
I look at you and unhook my bra. It joins my skirt on the floor.
"By the way" you say "I don't suppose you fancy showing me the garage next."
"Do you mind if I don't?" I say as I slide my knickers down my legs "It has everything you would expect in it and it may be a little chilly outside."
I walk out of the bathroom and into the last room.
"And this is the master bedroom. As you can see, I have run out of clothes so what do you want me to do?"
And this is where you get the chance to finish the story.