Siblings with Benefits Ch. 37bylovecraft68©
Authors note: Okay so last chapter was pretty rough, well fair warning this one is just as if not rougher. This chapter is dedicated to another member who always remains anon (at least on lit), but I know you're still reading and appreciate your support. This one is for you "Syn". Also a thank you to Sydney Blake for once again using her red pen to cut the shit out of yours truly As always thank you for reading. Lovecraft68
I jerked my head up at the sound of my name. I opened my eyes to see Mark on his knees in front of me, his hands on my shoulders. For a second I was unsure of where I was or what had just happened. No, wait. I knew, I had just had a terrible nightmare. I had dreamt of Frank hurting me, and somehow, it had turned into my brother doing it. Blinking my stinging eyes, I wondered why I was sitting on the floor, and realized that Mark looked as if he were crying.
"Megan!" he said again, "A...are you okay? I...I'm sorry! I..."
I shifted on the floor, and became aware of an all too familiar burning pain down where Frank used too... My eyes widened as it all came back to me. It hadn't been a nightmare! My brother had...
"You hurt me!" I screamed at him, lashing out with my arms, knocking his hands from my shoulders. "You... you hurt me!"
"I...I know!" he exclaimed, a stricken look on his face. "Sis, I didn't mean...." He stopped and blurted out. "Oh, Megan, I'm so sorry! Let me help you..."
As he spoke, Mark reached out to me.
I screamed and, cringing against the bureau, put my hands over my head.
"Don't hurt me!" I cried out. "Oh, please don't hurt me! I...I'll be a good girl, I promise." I began sobbing uncontrollably.
"Oh, fuck!" Mark snapped.
I was watching him through my tear-filled eyes and saw him put his head into his hands. As I continued staring at him, my heart pounding in fear that he was going to hurt me some more, I saw him shake his head back and forth.
"No, no no!" Mark was crying to himself, his shoulders shaking.
Putting my hands on the floor, I started to crawl away from him.
"Megan, come here." Mark said behind me.
I felt his hand grab my shoulder and immediately dropped onto my side and curled myself into a ball."Please no more please!" I moaned. As I brought my legs up to my chest, the pain down there became worse, and I whimpered. "Oh it hurts!"
"Come here, sis," Mark said softly.
As he spoke, he reached underneath me. Sliding his arm under my side, he lifted me into a sitting position and then, leaning forward, he tried to put his arms around me.
"No!" I yelled. I pushed against his chest hard enough to make him fall backwards, and his back hit the bed,
"Megan, let me..."
"You hurt me, Mark!" I screamed again. "You hurt me like he used to hurt me!" I sobbed again. "Oh, you hurt me so bad!"
"I..." Mark started but I cut him off, wailing. "I want my mommy!"
"Meg!" Mark said firmly. "Y... you're not a little kid anymore, it's..."
"I want Mom!" I yelled in his face. "I want to see my mom!" I began sobbing again.
"Megan, I can't take you to her I..."
"You won't because I'm going to tell her you hurt me!"
I did want my mom, she would make it better, she always did! Mom would never let anyone hurt me, not even my brother! Moving quickly, I got my legs under me and jumped to my feet. My sudden movement caught Mark by surprise. He was still sitting on the floor, and, as he started to get up, I swung my knee into him. The blow caught him in the shoulder, knocking him onto his back. I ran for the bedroom door and had just reached it when Mark grabbed onto my robe from behind and hauled me back into the room.
"Megan, stop! Calm down, sis, please!"
I spun around, swinging wildly, and I felt the back of my hand connect with Mark's face. I swung the rest of the way around to face him."Don't fucking touch me!" I shouted in his face. "You raped me, you bastard!"
"Megan," he said softly. "I... I'm sorry!" There were tears on his cheeks and, as he held his hands up in front of him, I saw they were shaking."I... I... I told you to leave me alone, and you kept..." Mark stopped then let out a sob of his own. "I...I didn't mean it, sis! I...."
"You meant it!" I screamed at him. "You wanted to hurt me! You hurt me just like he did!"My fright had transformed into rage, and I swung at his face again. Mark's hand caught my wrist, but quickly let it go as I shrieked, "Get your fucking hands off of me!"As soon as Mark had let go I lashed out and slapped him in the face with my right hand. Even as his face was turning I was swinging my left."You fucking animal!"
The slap caught Mark solidly, snapping his head to the right. Curling my right hand into a fist, I came around and punched him in the mouth. The blow had everything I had behind it and my brother's head rocked back and he staggered.
I had a chance to run, but instead, I stepped forward and swung my left around and slammed it into my stunned brother's right eye. "Yeah, not so easy that I'm not tied up, is it!" I snarled, swinging my right again.
Catching his balance Mark caught my fist in the palm of his hand. "Megan, stop! Please, sis!"As he spoke Mark put his hand up in a defensive gesture.
"Let me go!" I cried out. "Don't you raise your hands to me!"
Mark let me go and I swung at his face catching him in the jaw.
"Stop it!" Mark shouted as he stepped back from me.
"Stop?" I demanded, swinging at him again. "Like you stopped?"
Mark ducked the first swing, but I had already thrown an uppercut with my other hand. The blow caught him on the chin, and I felt my nails stab into the soft flesh of my palm from the impact. Ignoring the pain, I hit him again, this time in the left side of his face.
"I begged you to stop and you kept hurting me!" I yelled, coming forward and swinging wildly at him.
Mark stepped back and banged into the wall. He hadn't been expecting it, and I was able to take advantage of his surprise. The punch I had thrown hit him squarely in the nose. His head snapped back, slamming into the wall, and he staggered to the side. Stepping right up to him, and, as he had taught me, I bent my arm, and, swinging it up and around, hit him in the side of the head with my elbow. Mark grunted and, when I swung again, brought his arm up, blocking it.
"You were smiling!" I yelled, swinging again. "You got off on me screaming! You loved raping me!"
"No, Megan, no!" Mark gasped. "I... I'm sorry!"
"Sorry?" I screamed. "Not yet, you're not! Isn't that what you said? Before you..." I swung another elbow at him that he blocked with his forearm. "Before you..." I stopped and felt a something come over me. It was rage, a rage that I hadn't felt since that night in the Wolfs Den when they were beating my brother. I took a deep breath and screamed. "Before you raped me!"
Mark started to say something, but it was drowned out by my howl of rage. Stepping forward, I began swinging my arms at him, throwing punch after punch at his head. Mark couldn't move backwards and at this point was afraid to grab me. As my punches rained down on him, he tried to block them. Under ordinary circumstances my brother would have been much faster than me, but he was upset and scared, and my blows were fueled by both hate and the cocaine that was still flowing through me. For the first time in our lives, Mark was the one cowering and I was the one in a rage.
As I continued to pummel him, many of the blows got past him, hitting him in the head and face. Finally, after I landed a particularly hard blow to his mouth, Mark simply covered his head with his arms and hunched over against the wall.
The entire time I was attacking him, I was screaming at him, telling him how much he had hurt me, and what an animal he was. I kept this up for as long as I could, swinging and screaming away. My throat started to hurt, and my shouts were coming out as harsh gasps. My blows were getting slower and weaker. After another moment I found I could barely move my arms. The rage was leaving me and, once again, the tears came. I started sobbing in frustration that I couldn't keep hurting him.
"How could you!" I sobbed as the last blow I had the strength to throw thumped uselessly off of his muscular arm.
Sensing I had nothing left, Mark looked up. I stared in surprise at my brother's battered and bloody face. Seeing his arms were down however, I swung again with the last of my fleeting strength. This time, Mark did catch my wrist. I yelled and swung my left, which he also caught.
Pulling me into him, Mark wrapped his arms around me, pinning me against him.
"You... you hurt me, Mark!" I sobbed against his chest. "You... you promised you would never hurt me and you did!"
I stopped struggling and started sobbing hysterically.
"Promised!" I choked out. "Promised you wouldn't!"
I felt one of his hands slide up my back and cradle the back of my head. I stopped yelling, and Mark was silent as I stayed where I was, crying in his arms. Mark started to stroke my hair, and I realized that the arms of my brother had always been my refuge, but now... I started to pull away from him and, looking at me, he whispered, "Meg, I am so..."
"I hate you!" I sobbed out. "I fucking hate you!"
Mark's put his head down.
"Let me go!" I cried, "I don't want you near me!"
Mark let me go and I stepped backwards. I meant to run into the other room, grab my clothes, and get out. Instead, I felt my legs start to give out and I staggered backwards. Mark lunged forward, and, catching me by the arms, guided me back until I was sitting on the bed.
"No!" I yelled, trying to get up. "Not here! You're going to..." I stopped as Mark gently pushed me back down onto the bed, and then stepped back from me.
"I... no one's going to hurt you Meg, I..."
"Liar," I said simply.
I wanted to move, but couldn't. I was completely drained. I sat there gasping for breath and started to cry again. I sensed movement and looked up to see Mark backing out of the room.
"I..."I'll be right back, sis, just sit there okay? I..." Shaking his head Mark turned and all but ran from the room.
I swallowed hard and stood up. This was my chance to leave. Somewhere in my fevered mind I realized that I had gotten what I needed and there was no coming back from this for us. I needed to go. I took a step and sat back down; my legs were trembling so badly, I couldn't walk. Mark came back into the room with a glass of water with some ice in it.
"Here sis," he said, holding it out to me.
I stared at his hand as if he were offering me a snake. I didn't want anything to do with him. Mark put the glass on the floor and stepped away from me. I looked at the water and, swallowing, winced at how dry and sore my throat was. Reaching down, I picked up the water and took several long swallows. The cold water felt good as it went down my parched throat, and I quickly chugged the rest of it. When it was empty, Mark tried to reach for it but jumped back as I threw the glass at him.
"You stay away from me!" I croaked out hoarsely.
Mark had caught the glass and leaned back against his bureau. I noticed he was staring at me as if he were waiting for something. I put my head down and took a deep breath. I was exhausted but had to go, I couldn't let Mark near me again. I let the breath out and looked up. I frowned and shook my head, as I caught my eyes closing. I forced myself to stand, and then caught myself by leaning against the bedpost as the room began to spin. I shook my head again, trying to clear it. Pushing myself away from the bed, I took two wobbly steps, and then staggered as the room was not only spinning again, but it seemed as if my eyes would not stay open. As I started to fall, Mark stepped forward and, catching me around the waist, swung his other arm behind my knees and lifted me off my feet. I tried to struggle, but my arms and legs felt as if they weighed a ton. Cradling me to his chest, Mark carried me around to the side of the bed.
"You... drugged me." I said
"Just so you'll sleep," Mark said through his swollen lips. He leaned over and gently put me on the bed.
"I...I don't want to sleep with you," I whispered. "I don't want to be near you."
My eyes closed and, with the last of my strength, I forced them open to see Mark looking down at me.
"I...I hate you, Mark." I told him.
As I lost the battle to keep my eyes closed, I heard Mark whisper; "Yeah, sis, that makes two of us."
***** I awoke to a soft touch on my shoulder. I slowly opened my eyes and found that I was lying on my side in my brother's bed. The black sheet was pulled up to my shoulders, and I noted that I was still wearing the black robe. That was odd; I thought sluggishly, I never wore clothes to bed. I became aware that I wasn't alone and shifted my eyes to see Mark sitting next to me on the bed. He was dressed in a pair of black slacks and a teal shirt. His collar was still open and a black tie was draped around his neck.
I stared at him for a moment, trying to get my bearings, and frowned at his face. Mark's left eye was blackened and swollen half shut. There was a huge bruise on his right cheek, and his lip was split and also swollen. Because his shirt wasn't bottomed at the top, I could see three long red scratches down his neck. I turned my head on the pillow to see Mark's hand resting on my shoulder. My thoughts began to clear, bringing with them the memory of the events of last night.
"Get your hand off of me," I said softly.
Mark looked at me sadly, but quickly moved his hand."Megan, are you..."
"What do you care how I am?" As I spoke, I pushed myself up into a sitting position against the mirrored headboard. When I did, the robe came open, exposing my tits. I saw Mark glance down at them and I quickly drew the robe closed. For the first time I could remember, I did not want my brother seeing me naked. I pulled my knees up to my chest, wincing at the pain in my ass, and, wrapping my arms around my knees, looked at Mark.
"You drugged me!" I told him angrily.
"Just to help you sleep, sis," Mark said. "You wouldn't calm down, and you needed to sleep."
"No, you drugged me so I wouldn't run out and tell anyone you raped me!"
Mark lowered his head, but not before I saw his eyes filling with tears.
"Megan, I am so sorry I hurt you. You don't know how I feel you..."
"I know how I feel!" I snapped. "Know how I feel? My ass hurts and my body hurts, and," I stopped as my own eyes teared up. "My heart aches because my brother betrayed me!"
"You're just like our father!" I snapped. "He hurt Julia all the time," I sobbed. "Dad was right! You're bad, Mark, just plain bad!"
Mark hung his head like a whipped dog and I continued.
"I see you're dressed for work! Can't care too much about how I am, so go, get out!"
"Yeah, Jim, called after midnight and told me he talked the AG into giving me another few days to make something happen. I have to..."
"Oh, so you're not off the case!" I put my hands up. "I didn't even get you in trouble!" I laughed harshly. "That means you raped me for nothing!"
"Meg, please," Mark said, shaking his head as tears began flowing down his cheeks. "I...I wasn't right last night, and I told you to leave me alone, sis, I even locked you out, I..."
"And would you buy that defense, Councilor?" I asked. "I don't think so."
"Sis, I.... I can't take it back! I'm..." Mark put his head back down.
"No, you can't, so just go, Mark, go to your precious job, and I'll get my stuff and leave." I nodded. "I'll go and you'll never have to worry about your fucked up sister making you look bad, or ever needing anything from you again." I grunted disgustedly. "I'm through with you, Mark, after this morning, you'll never see me again."
"No! Megan, please, don't go, stay here today, and when I come home we'll talk! I..."
"Nothing to talk about, Mark." I smiled ruefully. "I think you said everything you needed to last night, and then some."
"No, sis." Mark said softly. "Please don't leave like this! Please stay here! W...when I come home, we'll talk and I...I'll take you to see mom and..." He put his head in his hands. "I'm sorry about what I said about her, Megan, and I..." he sobbed into his hands. "You're all I have, Megan! Please don't hate me!"
Mark looked up at me, and I felt my resolve began to waver. No, it was more than that, something was wrong. More correctly, everything was wrong here, starting with the fact that my brother, the one man that I had trusted to never hurt me, had hurt me in the worst possible way. Mark had raped me; I wasn't just saying it to make him feel bad, he really had. Yet, as much pain as I was in and as upset as I was, some of Mark's words sank in. My brother had warned me away from him, he did lock me out of his room, and, even after I let myself in, he tried to push me out. Mark had not lost it until I hit him. It dawned on me that just as what Mark had done to me had brought back those nightmarish flashbacks of Frank; my hitting Mark brought back his own traumatic experiences with Max.
I had driven my already enraged brother over the edge. In one sense, it was exactly what I wanted; to push Mark to completely explode and to throw me out of his life. Either that, or lead him into being so hateful to me that I could leave and never look back. It had been a gross miscalculation on my part, however, exactly how far I could push my already exhausted and angry brother. Mark had raped me, the thought kept echoing through my mind. I could leave completely justified, never to see him again. I would be free to head up to New York and spend my last days succumbing to my demons and not worrying about Mark caring where I was.
Or was I free? Now seeing how upset he was, it struck me that now it would be my brother who would be guilty. Mark had hurt me terribly and he knew it, was in tears over it. As my tired mind locked onto that thought, I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. My plan had back-fired. Not only had I ended up hurt, but Mark was devastated. If I left now and never came back, if months from now, Mark found out that I died, he would blame himself. My brother would be not only grief-stricken, but riddled with guilt. He would never be the same, maybe even hurt himself. In the end, he would suffer more than he would have had I just up and disappeared. I wanted to cry. Not only had last night been terrible, but it had been for nothing!
As all this went through my fevered brain in less than a minute, I felt my own eyes fill with tears. I looked at Mark and felt a stab of pity. My brother's face was battered and bruised, and his red-rimmed eyes were wet with tears of remorse. My first instinct was to go to him, take him in my arms, and, better yet, let him take me into his. Since he had come back into my life, Mark had always been my rock, my refuge, the place I always felt safe and loved. Yet now, things had changed, my brother had betrayed me, caused me pain in the worse possible way. But where else did I have to go? Mark had just said I was all he had, who did I have now? Then again, isn't that what I wanted? I put my hand to my head. How had this gone so horribly wrong?
Mark put his head down and, with a sigh that bordered on a whimper, started to slide off the bed. I made a decision; I had fucked up royally and now would have to think of something else. There was no way I could leave like this. Reaching out, I placed my hand against his tear streaked cheek. Mark placed his face into my hand, and, leaning forward, I put my arm around his shoulder. I did not pull him into me as I normally would have, but did guide his head to my shoulder. Mark put his hand over mine and squeezed it, but didn't touch me otherwise. I brought my other hand around and rested it on the back of his head.