All Comments on 'Butterfly Kisses Ch. 03'

It is so steamy but also loving, my favorite kind of story. :D I'm pretty sure that I'm a submissive at heart although I have never tried it in person, I live in hope of having a husband who is just a little bit like the Dom in your story... ;)

Thanks for the great work!

Glad you liked it! I have definitely been blessed by a wonderful partner in this; best advice is to find the husband, then worry about the Dom. ;) Most of the time it will come out naturally.

I can't wait until your next submission well done

For me all three chapters were good. Adequately written but definitely lacking some oomph. I felt that the characters lacked any real depth. Very one dimensional. Although this story clearly intended to be erotic I don't think it achieved the desired result. I wish I had felt some personality! You are great at writing in detail, I just think you need to think about what adds to the story and what is just boring page filler. On this site the standard is so high but I think with some practice and maybe some writing classes you could do much better. Keep trying.

... I think that part of what should be kept in mind is that these stories are not meant to wow you nor be formally published. They are intended to be read for a simple pleasure with insight into a submissive's mind as she experiences a weekend with her Master. If I were to attempt to build this into an actual full fledged plot, I would use the writing classes Ive taken to polish it. But Lit rarely has a place for those types of works and I do not have the time to devote to them either.