All Comments on 'Pissed'

for a really good story and to help offset the asshole of LIT's usual vote of 1 Eat shit annony you old ugly fat fag with ED

once met twice bitten. TK U MLJ LV NV

Title says it all. Remind me to ask before I share. xoxoxoxo Annette

I guess it was okay. I guess. Maybe.

Your words have a distinctive rhythm, I'll give you that. Bet you have a Southern twang/drawl to your voice like the Country music you probably listen to. Not a put down, guy, just a reader's observation from the music of your words. I found your style more compelling than the story itself. One of the last of the great fist fighters perhaps? You could even be a Bob Lee Swagger sort of guy, hero of many a Stephen Hunter novel. Yes, I can see it. Then again, I might be totally off base. "I'm So Much Cooler Online" (Brad Paisley) as the song goes. Ever hear that Country gem?

Would definitely like to see follow-up stories in this vein as a series, short or not

I mean that as a compliment as I am a Southerner and that is how we handle people who interfere with our relationships down here. Write the girl off as not worth the effort to maintain a relationship and warn our friends about her and pass the word about what level of scum Alfred is.

Good for you! That is what you do to a cheating bitch and a bastard of a friend. I'm glad because this one time in your life where you have to act and not reason. Serves him and her right!

She not only ended their relationship . She made sure she would NEVER be welcome back with their group of friends also. . The other guys wouldn't want their girlfriends associating with a Slut .

...but nowhere near a complete story

Southerners aren't afraid to throw a punch and mess up someone's face. There aren't all that many Assault charges in my state either. Why? Because deserving assholes know the assailant's friends will pick up where he left off. And it will be like the instructions on a shampoo bottle...pound and repeat.

one star for lying

retribution is a deliberate act of revenge

accidentally hitting a guy with your elbow because he spun you around is not retribution

breaking up with a slut who cheats on you is not retribution

asking your dad to give the slut a ride home is not retribution

Firstly, you said you put it in LW, but here we are in Non-Erotic? Secondly as lujon2019 aptly elucidated below, there is nothing here that fits the title. Apart from those obvious glitches it was not awful, just not really fleshed out enough to be enticing.