All Comments on 'The Beekeeper's Mistress'

This wasn't a story, or a SHORT story. This was a couple hundred words you threw together. Thumbs down.

... it could have turned into something readable but fell at the first hurdle. What was it supposed to be -- you didn't really tell us. More part of a scene than a story, but do keep writing now you have started. The only way from here has to be up.

Thank you for sharing your efforts with us but they need to be better thought out. Perhaps you should try looking for some assistance.

Two stars.

Obviously there are some mistakes but you wrote something hot enough to get me going and don't mind the ppl above because none of them have anything written so fuck em. I'd read more just liven it up a bit more don't stop so abruptly and change all the he/ she said shit to I said instead putting yourself in it it helps to write easier and it reads easier

I actually quite enjoyed this. Thought it was written well and the feedback received so far perhaps doesn't do it justice...

I can see what the first two comments are getting at in that it is very short - just as the action is starting to hot up...The End! That having been said; would I be correct in thinking that your intention was just to outline a brief erotic scene, rather than to tell a full story? If so, I personally think you've succeeded here, even if I would have liked a little more myself.

The third comment, aside from missing the point entirely, seems to come from someone who's more concerned with his own inadequacies, so I wouldn't pay any attention to it if I were you.

I'm always interested in something different myself, and by giving us a nervous, first-time Domme (who is by no means self-assured, but still getting into the role regardless) you've certainly delivered something that very few stories on this site have explored to date.

I know the last comment advocates a switch to a first-person narrative style, which is fair enough. I myself tend to prefer the third-person style that you've chosen to employ here, though perhaps he/she does have a point for super-short tales like this one.

Hope you keep writing. I look forward to reading more from you...especially a continuation of this little tale!