All Comments on 'A Vampire Slave'

I very much enjoyed this and hope there will be more. The only small problem was in the middle where it went from third to first person a few times. I think third person suits the story best, but whichever one you like is fine as long as it is consistant.

This is really good! Please update soon!

I beg of you to continue this, it seems that you abandoned it (Im guessing by the date it was posted) but I really enjoy the plot, and your writing style. While it could be cleaned up a bit, I believe it's utterly brilliant! I like the switching of the roles, from slave to Master, and I also think that this is a great debut into the world of erotic writing! Now, to pinpoint what i love about your writing, is how the Dominant figure slowly teases the captive, not rushing into the sex, and I am eagerly awaiting for your next post, whither it be a continuation of this plot, or of of your other story, or maybe a new story in all, You have yourself a dedicated reader! (Me!!!)

Please update this story it is amazing

You bounced around alot with 1st and 3rd person. Being a new writer it's common. 3rd person seems to suit the story well. I enjoyed the story very much and hopefully you will continue it. Proof read. Sometimes reading the story aloud let's you hear your small mistakes better than reading silently.

Hello everyone, thank you for your kind words. I have been writing a rewrite of this story(longer and without that awkward 3rd person/1st person shift). I hope to have it posted soon.

Just thought I'd keep you in the know :)