All Comments on 'Indecent Proposal'

Way too much background with the wife and Dionne but otherwise good. I wish I had his money to give to a Fucktoy like her. Not that I'm into huge tits. But tits are tits. If it'd been me first time id fucked her up the ass. Anyway. A sequel seems a no brainer.I've to read how the Fucktoy goes along.

I hope you're planning at least another chapter. 5 stars.

Thanks for a well written tale. Can't help thinking it could be the start of a Romance story.

enjoy reading stories with a background and yours fit the bill. Hoping for a follow up but if not, this one stands alone as a good read

A story to be very proud of.

needs at least one more chapter to show us where this is going.

Really hope there's a second part coming.

very good story, hope theirs more

If you are with a woman that has body parts made of silicon she is an android.

Silicon is what computer chips are made of.

Silicone is what fake boobs and bathroom caulking compound are made of.

Well written, good story line and not overly done. This was an enjoyable read. Don't get overly sic with the next story and it will go over just as good.

As with other commenters, I thought this was a well-written story, and I also thought it was based on an interesting idea. The descriptive language was good and only a bit over the top in describing the sex, which I thought was a positive.

I did feel a bit lost in the detail in the earlier part of the story. And I'm not sure the apparent need to demonstrate that James was such a morally upright character added a lot to the story. But it remained quite readable all the way through.

One small niggle. In the unlikely chance that I saw an ass at Bedarra or Walsh Bay, it would have four legs, a tail and long ears. It would not be the nether end of a woman.

Lue

Wonderfully written story. I hope there's more to this story and can't wait to hopefully ready more from you in the future.

One of the best erotic stories I have ever read.

Beyond brilliant; I felt like I was reading a book.

You left me wanting to turn the page and read more.

PS. So you missed an E only a moron would fault that.

Needs a second character.

What an excellent read! Your command of the language and elements of good writing are most appreciated, albeit quite rare these days. Great little story with a superb writing style, excellent character development and a unique twist on an intriguing plot. I do hope you have more of this story in your inventory. I should very much like to see Dione get in on some of this exciting action, too. Please do keep up the good work, you are a favorite already.

With everything erotikos wrote and have also favourite/followed. As an ex-Novocastrian and ex-Sydneysider the Opera Bar (business travel) just sealed my intrigue. I look forwards to the sequel...

Loved the story, very well written. I look forward to reading more.

Love your writing style. Characters are fun (and just the right amount of flawed).

I rated it at 5 stars with the hope that more chapters will follow. If it ends with him sliding into bed...it should be downgraded for feeling unfinished.

and sweet story - what an experienced man can do for a young lady!

This one definitely needs some follow on with a continuing story of these two!

Just well done story,jealous if true.

That was hot!

And well-written (I agree with erotikos, except about Dione).

Easily 5 stars (actually not enough).

However, at the end I felt like I watched a long distance race in which the runner got himself warmed up and was now in his main stride to bear down towards the finish line, then he just turned off to the side and quit. They were so hot together, I wanted to view the rest of their race together right down to the finish line of the Indecent Proposal. and afterwards when they could not imagine giving each other up and so....

I read a stand-alone Literotica story, that the author continued after 6(!) years with a second part. So it's not too late.

I just came back to this comment from the prefatory note to Jen Meets Sporty Neighbors, where the author reveals he's working on the next installment to Indecent Proposal. Yay!

I'll admit to scanning/skipping through some of the earlier build-up story. Wasn't necessary to read every word/sentence of a paragraph to follow the story plot. And some paragraphs/sections were not essential to the main storyline.

Thanks for allowing anonymous comments, so I could express myself.

Wish you had 100's more like this one.

Paul in Oklahoma

Thus story builds very well. Starts of intreaguing and then recounts a sexy history bringing the present situation to full steam. I can't wait for part 2 where kelly gets her navel pierced (and hopefully clit and nipples, maybe tongue). I am also looking forward to a three some with Dione and Kelly. Maybe bring in Dione's husband if he is a cool guy. Both couples heading to a conference with bikinis and partner swapping.

Great story! A 5 for certain. I would really like to read the follow-up story to this one.

Good story, but spending over 35% of the text on a long, involved back-story drew out the suspense and plot action. Still, 5/5, but it could do with re-write and a Part 2.

Clean it up ad write the rest of the story. Trust LPN and get some more of his help.