by PiperHamlin
This is NOT a place to place your fucking ads. Go the fuck away you nincompoop.
rpsuch wrote "What I Learned at Literotica" and leapyearguy wrote the "Do It Yourself Story Kit" to help aspiring writers of stories in the Loving Wives category.
Now we have a set of superb endings to add to the set of instructions.
RLMann, take note.
Lue
1) Husband convinces wife to fuck another guy, and the other guy is terrible in bed (and has a tiny penis.)
2) Husband discovers wife is having an affair. Concocts elaborate revenge, which goes horribly wrong.
3) Husband kills wife’s lover with a pickaxe handle and ends up in prison for life, gets anally raped on a regular basis.
Loved it. Would actually like to see that last one. Of course, his own stories aren't enough. Swingerjoe has to show us what a cuck he is even when commenting on another's writings. Will someone please let this guy watch them fuck his wife so he'll be happy?
Did my wife tell you about me?! I forgot soooo many, but luckily didn’t come home to this scenario. Caught me off guard - laughed out loud. Best of the bunch!
Thanks!
Thanks to all who responded, I do read them all. I'll take them in order.
"This is NOT a place to place your fucking ads."
Thank you for your vigilance.
"rpsuch wrote "What I Learned at Literotica" and leapyearguy wrote the "Do It Yourself Story Kit" to help aspiring writers of stories in the Loving Wives category."
I am flattered to be mentioned in that company. I hadn't read those submissions, and they are excellent. I hope others discover those gems as well.
"5 *s and one 🤔 for this story!"
Thanks for the stars and the emoticon. How do you insert emoticons into your text? I'll leave the children in Sherwood alone for that prized piece of information.
"Husband discovers wife is having an affair. Concocts elaborate revenge, which goes horribly wrong."
I actually started a story using this premise. I have no idea if I'll actually finish it, it's on the back burner at the moment. Still, I consider this concept hilarious.
"Loved it. Would actually like to see that last one."
Me too. If I could write any of these stories, I'd do them myself. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to get to any of these endings.
"Great job. Love your sense of humor."
Comments like this keep me going.
"Did my wife tell you about me?!"
Yes.
"I forgot soooo many, but luckily didn’t come home to this scenario."
I'd recommend not missing the next one. ;)
Good humor and better endings than most.
and who was the true social climber, TK U MLJ LV NV
Made me think of TV Show "Mock the Week" 'Unlikely Endings for LW Stories'
The sarcastic snark was right on. The last one though was the best. 'James is an A$$hole!' Perfect!
"I Wouldn't Mind Reading A Few Stories That End Like This"
Me too! I wish someone would actually write these. I have no idea how to pull it off. I'd probably throw money at a writer that could.
"WHICH WAS TRYING TO GET EVEN,,,,,,THE WORST"
Thank you for your praise. You forgot to add the story to "favorites." I'd really appreciate it if you correct this oversight.
"My stomach hurts from laughing"
Then I have failed. My goal is to put people into the hospital.
"As a Humour n Satire contribution, exellent! !!!"
Comments like yours are like a crack addiction to me. Just makes me want to write again to get that rush.
"The sarcastic snark was right on. The last one though was the best. 'James is an A$$hole!' Perfect!"
I loved that line too. Glad it hit you in the funny bone as well.
This is just too delicious... I avoid LW like the plague because I'm not a masochist. But the idea of stringing "Things We Should Remember," "You've Been Served" and "DNA" together into one story is just incredibly tempting. Not sure I could do it justice, but... tempting. Well done!
Splendid! Every one of those is brilliant (and categorically would be trashed [one *, this sucks, cuckold shit] by the swamp readers lurking there.) Would love to see a humor piece in LW that snuck in unscathed under the barbed wire.
The last one was pretty hilarious, wouldn't have minded reading that one :-)
Fuck, English is so good a language, could i introduce this to my students in China? A good reading, thanks.
"Keep up the good work."
Thank you, I'll try.
"I love it!"
Thanks for taking the time to comment.
"Would love to see a humor piece in LW that snuck in unscathed under the barbed wire."
So would I. I don't think I can write that piece. Not sure who could.
"This is just too delicious... I avoid LW like the plague because I'm not a masochist. But the idea of stringing "Things We Should Remember," "You've Been Served" and "DNA" together into one story is just incredibly tempting. Not sure I could do it justice, but... tempting. Well done!"
That would be a helluva story.
"The last one was pretty hilarious, wouldn't have minded reading that one :-)"
That one would be epic. I'd give money to any person who even tried.
"Fuck, English is so good a language, could i introduce this to my students in China? A good reading, thanks."
You certainly have my permission. All I ask is for an update on how it went over.
You are one outfuckingstanding wordsmith. I look forward to more of your work
Thanks.
I know this is an older submission, so my comments may not be relevant to you anymore, but I sincerely hope you continue to submit into the LW category. Your stories are a breath of fresh air. *****
This should be re- or dually submitted in LW. I know - pearls before swine, but I'm sure you'll find more than a few appreciative readers in there, even if they're not the cacophonous anonymous majority. Thanks for sharing your gift. *****
There needs to be one for misplaced revenge. You know, where the wife thinks the husband's had an affair, and has to get revenge, in some stories makes him watch, then finds out she misunderstood, or perhaps has been tricked. There must be almost a dozen out there. Here's a base idea for it . . .
Now knowing the truth of how Rick had tricked her . . . and seeing the damage to my wrists, she couldn't stop crying as she untied me. She was devastated. Her face covered in tears. "I am so, so very sorry. I can't believe I listened to Rick, and didn't talk to you first. I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?", she wailed.
I just started laughing. "Wow, he really got you good. Man, you fell for his every line. Oh this rich! Of course I forgive you, I can enjoy a good joke as well as anybody."
Soon she was laughing too. We must've laughed for half-an-hour. I couldn't help but comment, "Did you notice the 'Ugh, weeooooo' sounds he made while thrusting."
"God yes!", my wife replied. An when he came the 'Aaaaargh, reyah, Johnny,-Johnny' thing? Oh Lord!!" we imitated his facial expressions and screamed in laughter. (I don't think he actually finished with 'Johnny-Johnny', but my wife remembers it that way.) We must have laughed another 45 minutes. Then we had amazing monkey sex for the next three hours.
I couldn't wait to tell all our friends about Rick's clever trick on my wife and I. At first they were horrified, but soon, as we imitated his facial expressions and yelled out, '(The castle) Aaaaaaaargh, reyah . . . ooh Johnny-Johnny!', they'd start laughing too. Pretty soon everybody'd greet him with exaggerated facial expressions and call out 'reeyah, Rick Johnny-Johnny', and soon his nickname was simply 'R-JJ'.
For some reason Rick didn't enjoy his own joke as much as we did. He eventually stopped hanging with our crowd . . . but word got out, and they used the same nickname where he worked. He eventually left town, and his last girlfriend said he'd become bitter, and suffered from ED.
My wife and I still get a good laugh when we think about that incident. It is one of our warmest and most treasured memories.
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(Sorry, hard to stop once I got going . . . those stories in particular need a surprise ending. Thanks for your wonderful contribution, and for getting others' imaginations flowing. One other thought . . . applies to many stories)
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It had been three months since I last saw her, and I'd agreed to meet and hear her out. I wasn't as angry as I'd been, and I hoped that I . . . that we . . . could somehow get past (or typically - 'passed') this.
. . .
"Yes,", she continued, "He was much bigger than you . . . and now I understand why the ancient Greeks thought large penises were vulgar and somewhat disgusting. They're ugly, less interesting than average-sized dicks for typical intercourse, uncomfortable for oral, and not suited at all for a pleasant anal diversion. Yeh, only a guy or gal with a seriously sick fetish would want a large dick for sex. And personality-wise, sweetheart, big dicks are often attached to big pricks!! That's why that one-time incident was a horrible, horrible decision. It may happen again someday, but never with anybody longer than 5 inches. You, my love, are perfect and custom made for me!"
I immediately regretted the enhancement surgery I'd just secretly gotten as a result of her one night stand with that big-dicked bastard.
This deserves 10 stars for originality and ideas that all of us have concerning loving wives story. great story
One of the nice things about publishing a new story at Literotica, is the attention it brings to previous stories.
"You are one outfuckingstanding wordsmith. I look forward to more of your work Thanks."
And thank you for taking the time to comment. It's appreciated.
"I know this is an older submission, so my comments may not be relevant to you anymore, but I sincerely hope you continue to submit into the LW category. Your stories are a breath of fresh air."
I still check comments on my older submissions, so they are certainly still relevant to me. I do like submitting a certain type of story into the LW category. I hope to continue to do so.
"This should be re- or dually submitted in LW. I know - pearls before swine, but I'm sure you'll find more than a few appreciative readers in there, even if they're not the cacophonous anonymous majority."
I plan to try submitting in a few different categories. I'm curious to see the reception there and see if I can write a story in something like "Science Fiction" that meets that crowd's expectations. Submitting something in humor was my first attempt at doing so.
"That last one was hilarious! I really like your work."
I appreciate your support in the comments. Thank you.
"Very funny stuff!"
I appreciate it. I've enjoyed reading your stories.
"5* worth of cute"
:D
"Thanks for your wonderful contribution, and for getting others' imaginations flowing."
I loved your own endings. Thanks for keeping the premise going. The last line did make me literally laugh out loud.
"This deserves 10 stars for originality and ideas that all of us have concerning loving wives story."
I'm glad you found this, you are the intended audience.
Excellent stuff. Had to check this out after reading your latest. The only flat note was the story with the 69. Mildly humorous, but I found the others much funnier. Great concept. Thanks for sharing your talent with us.
Cog
P.S. I think your idea for an improved ending to Holding Out For a Hall Pass with a new sex game was just what it needed. It left me with a much better feeling for the future of the couple.
I was pleased to see that you did not really consider BTB here.
How about plot lines that are close or have significant similarities?
DNA - "When the Past Comes Back to Bite You" by likegoodwine?
Conversely, if you want "I'm glad I caught my wife sexing with her boss so I could have sex with my best friends father" that would be "Beautiful Girls" by SS06.(sorta like "I Need Something You Can't Do for Me", but turned significantly sideways....)
"I Need Something..." is also the conclusion of most of the Bi/Poly stories out there, but without all the drama...
"Things We Should Remember" is all of the neglected wife/affairs stories...
There was that one with the accented wife with serial affairs - "A Good Marriage" by Jomar... kinda "JUAN FLEW OVER THE CUCKOLD'S NEST" don't you think?...
I really can't chase down all of the stories that come to mind... There was fer example DQS' last here, "The Currency of Time" which has something in it like "YOU'VE BEEN SERVED", but again sideways - the bribe for the divorce certainly...
Now you can say that without the snark it isn't what you had in mind, but these stories are also twists of the old standbys, just not in the snark direction...
So! Start with one of the twist stories, and give it a/your sarcastic/ironic denouement, and you are there!
Certainly the scores would be bad, but that isn't all bad...
Green-something
As a writer of LW stuff myself, I found this a fun... no, hilarious read. Thanks for the smiles and a couple of LOLs. I gave you a five *****.
I think I've read at least one story where the guy we thought was the lover was really the husband!
Saw the link to this on the AH board. Absolutely perfect!!! There are many there I'd love to see written!!!
Nice to see different endings than the tired worn out ones we usually get!
Great take on LW.
I got married in a year ending in 6 and on a day ending in 7 (pure chance).
I may get the wrong anniversary "but it seems so much less" but the very worst I do with the actual day is be a day early. Maybe next time it'll be late.... ;)
on one of my stories about a word so I had to check you out. I read this first, and all I have to say is brother you're totally wrong. You said you couldn't write any of this tripe, but buddy you're absolutely wrong. This was as good as anything Just Plain Bob ever wrote, and believe me, that's a mouth full of praise.
I'll certainly read everything else you've read, but honest to God, this little vignette was priceless.
Jedd Clampett (carvohi)
I've enjoyed reading what you've submitted as well, before I ever had the nerve to submit something of my own.
Lots of chuckles reading this; thanks! I think, though, that I read a couple stories that actually ended this way - yes?
...is where, after discovery, the cheating wife, desperate to keep her husband who says he is going to divorce her, proclaims, "I'll do anything. ANYTHING!" -- and the husband actually takes her up on it.
Of course this would need to be preceeded by the backstory delineating the things she found repugnant and would not do for him. For example, blow jobs. Or blow job with swallowing. Etc. An added feature of the "anything," could be performing these formerly repugnant activities with enthusiasm, whether real or faked.
This makes me think that enthusiasm (as opposed to just lying there and taking it) could be another turnaround, as well as the wife occasionally initiating sex (stipulatimg so many times per month?).
Comments are sometimes made that the main Loving Wives themes have already been written, ie. it is hard to come up with something original. Maybe this submission is pointing in the direction of, if not new themes, at least new twists yet to be written.
Paul in Oklahoma
I hope you'll like it Paul. Thanks for your comments.
I've read this thrice trying to figure out which one I like best. Still haven't managed.
I kept reading and laughing and spitting my drink out of my nose. I'm sure you missed some of the cliches but it sure was a clever way to point the most glaring ones out.
So where is it? LW has been a waste land. Put up or shut up.
Touche.
The story is mostly complete, but my editor is unavailable for the holidays. So look after the first of the year for this one. There's an event for December with some great writers. Read those.
And by that, I don't mean your tribute to the cliches of LW, but your desire to see a story where revenge just goes hopelessly wrong. I won't write it, but it's a challenge... No, I won't... but it's tempting. Nope, absolutely not! Okay, I'll do some research, but that's it.
Damn you, Piper!
Love your stuff!
Thank you, sir!
Husbands get all the good stuff.
I'm still laughing over that. That's the funniest by far.
These are the endings that have never been written while the setups have been written a thousand times. Excellent!
Hilarious!!!!
It starts out as a "gotch line", turns into a cliché, evolves into a trope, and becomes enshrined as a meme! You did that!!!
This was great!
But I think you missed one .... "I NEED THIS" (aka, "once I've got it out of my system").
Priceless! You tell a complete story in a couple of sentences, complete with wit, humour, and novel twists and turns, when some writers don't do in 40,000 words. 5 stars and bravo!
Very nice!!! I’ve always wanted to see (or write, if I was any good at it) a derivation of the last one where the betrayed husband is the perfect guy, the waitress at the diner loves him, the girls in his office love him, his on-laws, etc. He’s shattered by his wife’s betrayal and his daughter (who worships him, of course) goes out of her way to help him through this. One night, while drinking heavily, he loses his mind momentarily and forces himself on the loyal daughter!!! She tries to fight him off, but halfway through she discovers he’s touching places she never knew existed, yada, yada! She enthusiastically fucks him back and becomes his new piece!! Hilarity ensues!!!!!
I love this story so damn much. Each time I read it a different vignette is my fav. This time, "#winning" made me laugh out loud.
This is so good that I read it 3 times. I know you are "punking" the stupid lines after the catch but really the best I have ever read as you the dumb statements after the catch.