All Comments on 'Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n Roll - Continued'

Why? Seriously why?

Just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? A serial cheater having to face the consequences of her actions? Well that just won't do! In fact, why stop at her getting a second chance she literally did nothing to earn? Put the blame on the victim! Yeah, have the wronged party blame himself for not being "man enough" to keep his wife's legs closed. Take away her agency, and thus her responsibility, and put it all on someone else. Oh, and while we're at it, let's make her super successful and rich! Absolutely brilliant storytelling.

I'll stop now. I don't have a life jacket, so I might drown in all this sarcasm.

You're stupid my guy, it's not possible?

The big sluts, we fuck them as much as we can, but we don't marry them!

It's absurd.

The whole story is on a stupid premise! Writer seems to live in cuckoo land or la la land!! It felt as if a 10 year old was writing…so contrived the whole thing looked!!!

What on earth is this? Why is this Ryan guy still walking around with his balls intact? Forgive the metal slut if you must but at least destroy her band mates and fuck other women.

Foregivness, the offering up of the opportunity to kick you in the gut again.

Stopped reading at page two knew where it was going.

A 1* just so it scored really ought to have been zero

Just awful. Horrible crap.

I'm not pissed at the ending. Only that it was so rushed. After her drug fueled world sex tour and attempt to self delete, everyone was a mess mentally. It should have taken years of therapy to get within a mile of being back to normal. And for God's sake give that man a son.

I'm not sure why you decided to try and continue this disaster, but it didn't really work. You would have been better off starting over with a new story. If you are really tied to this particular one, a rewrite of the first part to fix the issues that were pointed out in the first and/or simply didn't fit with what you wanted to do with chapter 2. It's an insult to the reader to have the characters and events so inconsistent between chapters. I couldn't remember the first chapter, so I went back and reread it immediately before reading this one. Because of that, I couldn't blame the inconsistencies on my bad memory and had to accept they were due to your bad writing. It was bad enough I couldn't even finish.

If you ever decide to do a proper rewrite to tell a consistent story, I hope I notice it as I see the potential you failed to live up to.

From a critical standpoint the story was will written. But as far as taking her back, not no, but HELL NO! Giving her a free pass with all the crap she but her husband & family thru with her cheating. You can still love someone & equally hate them at the same time. She says she’s sorry and all is forgiven, NOT! Making John guilt ridden for his actions due to all her cheating, i call BS!

Bullshit nonsense. Delusional.

No centered human being with real emotions is going to ever forgive and beabke to live with this level of betrayal and cheating.

This is nonsense. And not even well written nonsense. Nothing about this is believable.

This was fantastic, in all seriousness.

You took on a huge challenge of writing a redemption for a character that was cookie-cutter BTB fodder, and did it well.

I’m sure you’re already seeing the deluge of hate from the micro-penis “cuck faggot” BTB incels, but, I’m begging you, just ignore them and let them continue slowly choking to death on their hate for the imaginary women they blame for being miserable.

Keep on challenging yourself and growing in a positive direction.

hard to read and even harder to believe. Once divorced be done with her! When Ryan shows up with the ex and reveals she has millions tell him to sign her into some rehab clinic of sorts. The kids can visit her there if they want her so badly. But shit! Take your 50% of the millions and move on!

Typical "White Knight Syndrome" story. White knight syndrome is a term used to describe someone who feels compelled to “rescue” people in intimate relationships, often at the expense of their own needs. Such behaviors stem from a mindset that perceives the other sex as weak, dependent, absolved of all responsibility for their bad choices and bad behaviors , and thinks that she will dedicate herself to loving him because of his help.

This chapter should have been titled - "The Infantilization of Em". The author reduced Em from a grown ass capable and responsible woman to to a diaper wearing victim that needed 24 hour round the clock care and depicted as totally helpless. All done in the name of white white syndrome to "save" Em from the consequences of her bad choices and behavior.

As bad as part 1. OP: when you're in a hole, stop digging. This felt like a tale from some weird dystopian planet. Maybe that's your genre, and not LW. 2 stars.

-Yossarian

He should have had her committed and put her in rehab. I never would have taken her back. The author wants us to believe that she had temporary insanity. What in the world was the apology tour by him? Does he even own a man card? No self respecting man would have done what he did. I liked the first story, the second turned out to be a RAAC. I don't mind reconciliation, but good grief, this guy was just bad.

I’m not saying that her disgusting behavior could have not been overcome, but not like this.

She completely emasculated him. But he takes her back, he shakes the hand of one of the assholes who fucked her, he feels bad for serving divorce papers on her during a concert?

And even worse are his daughters. No anger at the mother. And treat dad like a stupid fuck. No respect. Oh he can’t pick out a tree. Oh he fucked up breakfast because he’s a man. And Em constantly using words like ‘jerk’ and bossing him around and making him go down on her.

Any realistic reconciliation would involve years of slow painful progress.

And the stupid dialogue by the daughters just sucks. Most teenagers do not talk like that. They’d be furious with the parent that did so much damage to their home life. And oh yeah what happened to her counseling? When someone of any gender whores around like that, they get addicted to it. She couldn’t even stop fucking people in their hometown. Suddenly she stops cold turkey? Not realistic at all. Again, I could see a path to reconciliation here, but it’s a tiny chance and would take YEARS.

The husband is a moron and that is being way to kind. Dump that whore and run as fast and far as you can!!!

You can cheat

You can sly

You can shit on your wedding vows

Ooh, see that girl

(With) a PhD at whoring

She's the METAL ROCK QUEEN........

much better storyline though a bit long. You are a good writer keep it up

So so. 3*.

Well, you got the responses I thought you'd get from the LW critics. I figure if a writer takes the time to write something I will read it to the end. If you're planning to write more stories you really need to work on a couple of skills. First, the dialog was stilted and sort of juvenile. Work on making dialog more mature. Read aloud your dialog and see if it sounds realistic. That alone will make your stories better reading. In this particular genre (Loving Wives) you really need to think through what is more likely for the situation. In this case, the wife was really promiscuous and most likely the husband would not forgive her that easily, children or no children. I'm not a fan of extreme btb, but I do believe there must be consequences for bad choices, even if it ends up with reconciliation. Keep on trying and you will get better.

Was disappointed with this one. Maybe I just didn't see how John processed it all to get to where he could invite ("hi ryan, please come in") one of the paramours into his house. Any Ryan professing his love for her and that he would marry her in a second. Why wasn't there a shoe kicking him in the groin, I wondered. What about her statement that she needed more and had apparently done several men around the home base? Or how he got to the point that he would care about her to look for her (ok, maybe the kids needed to know, but as far as I could tell they were as hurt and angry as John.) Then it was all about getting her well and reconciling. Now, nothing is wrong with reconciliation but I got whiplash from John's change from hate to love.

Another whore and pussy cuck

You had both good parts and bad parts, but overall I liked it. Very ambitious for a new writer.

You had to know that you were going to get beaten up over the husband taking the whore wife back. It's LW, after all. Hope you have a thick skin.

Looking forward to your next effort.

Hooked

Man so entertaining. Must finish the story…

I read stories like this and it doesn't make me happy. It makes me sad. Ending a story like this is like a wagon full of puppies slowly rolling towards the edge of a cliff and everyone is too focused on how cute the puppies are to be horrified. Single one night stands cause many years of pain even after reconciling. Even if no information about the act is given the betrayed will still have triggers that pop up years later. People have gotten PTSD from lesser forms of betrayal. It's a emotional scar they have to live with for the rest of their lives and their biggest focus is learning how to live with it and not let it poison future relationships and to learn how to trust people again. You can end the story all happy but we know that's not the end of things. We reached "The end" but that puppy wagon was about to go over the cliff and we're left to assume they all died. We reach the end of this story and we have to assume that John will experience violent swings in emotion. He will get triggered whenever she has to go somewhere alone. We have to assume that the betrayal was just too extreme to forgive and eventually John will leave her anyway. Or he will turn into a monster. More than likely the cheating was just too extreme that he would become an alcoholic and kill himself. She will very likely still keep in contact with Ryan and other affair partners. She will very likely find excuses to meet up with them to catch up. And now that her husband is a boring sad lump she will be drawn to her affair partners because she simply can't take her husband being boring and sad indefinitely. And so John will drink and he will hang himself. And of course it will be all his own fault because men are responsible for their own actions. We won't defend him by saying "well he was dealing with a lot". We will call him a bastard for killing himself and leaving his kids without a father. Maybe it will take years and he learns to hide his anger, grief, and self loathing, and everyone will assume he's fine and had gotten over being repeatedly cheated on. He won't get our sympathy but our disdain for being weak.

I applaud retconing his vasectomy. It was a step in the right direction. This leads me to believe that the author is aware that some betrayals are just too extreme to be forgiven in just a few pages. But the amount of cheating was just too much to be forgiven this easily.

I am okay with a RAAC story, if it seems to make sense. The husband welcoming into his home the bandmates that she slept with made zero sense to me. Supposedly, he was friendly w/ them at one point, and they were as guilty as she was of unethical behavior. Also, all the talk about her returning to a rock star life was outrageously inappropriate. No one would expect her to return to the same lifestyle, and trust her to be a completely different person, after she so thoroughly demonstrated that is exactly the person she was...for years. For this to make sense, you would need her to be molested as a child, or drugged up, some therapy insight later in the story, or something, ANYTHING, aside from she just decided to change. As written, it was absolutely unbelievable as trusting her w/ no explanation except "she's really, really sorry" is not enough. The first part was fine, and this one I ended up skimming the last half of the story as I could see it coming and adding all the extra details did nothing to justify why any rationale human would want this toxic woman as a partner. Hated it. RAAC can work, but this was not it.

Appalling in nearly every respect.

"Women at school come up and start yelling at him to be a man, not a cuckold" - not what women at school would be yelling in anyone's reality. You did an excellent job in chapter one making Em totally unforgivable, then wrote an eight times longer second chapter in a totally futile attempt to redeem her. You made her mentally unstable in chapter one and proved it in chapter two. You should have just let chapter one lie and started a new story.

Pretty good. But next time don’t wait 3-1/2 months between parts 1 and 2.

I liked it. 5 stars.

Just because they have kids together, reconciliation is not the answer to a happy ending. I am pretty sure most spouses wouldn't of reconciled with the cheating spouse if they were in his shoes

Revolting cuck-out and outrageous misandry.

The author did try to make the wife more forgivable, tried to fix the problem of the husband already knowing by reversing the vasectomy reveal as just a fib on the husbands part, but honestly I think she was still too far gone for reconciliation so it became a RAAC. Gave it a 4, I still enjoyed it and more so then the first chapter but I think the ending was pretty bad. I usually like reconciliation endings but with her long term cheating to the point the lie about the kids not being his was believable meant, to me, any reconciliation didn't feel right.

Great story

I’m more of a BTB guy but I enjoyed this. Damn near died. How much more penance you need?

Wow I always think it was a lack of imagination or a go to insult when someone typed in the comment: cuck and beta male shit. But really and truly that is what this is.

Actually a great story. Hope to see part 3. 5stars

An unbelievably forgiving husband. Skankzilla probably had more diseases than a hospital ward.

Why even write this? In what remote part of the galaxy was this even ever an RAAC. I'd given 5 stars if the husband nursed her back to health and the turned her loose. As usual the husband is hugely inconsistent from one chapter to the next. It's amazing how the men turn into dumbasses and need to "managed" by all the females(This includes the kids and a strung out drug addict of a wife who has made the poorest of life decisions) just to be a marginally function human being. Any hoo. This story is a fiery shit show all the way to the zero star crash.

Nope..Just nope

Go put this shit up your a** where it belongs

Easily among the worst in this category. Literally everything here is so wrong as to be laughably stupid. Literally totally off the rails so far, there are no words.

What a load of bullshit and nonsense.

And validate by a few. Amazing.

Women have the right to equality, they have the same rights and duties as men.

They therefore have the right to make their own decisions and the duty to be responsible for them.

Damn misogynist.

Why would a man or husband be responsible for the actions of a wife or wife?

Get out of your cave. Ignorant.

no idea how addictive behavior and drug addiction work, but to write about it ... that would be disrespectful if the rest of the story wasn't just as weak and half-baked.

Enough has been written about the other weak points in other comments.

I wish I could write something positive as well, but the story just isn't well thought out.

Wow, just finished reading this, not sure why I missed it when it came out, and I LOVED it. And then, I read the comments- dang! Hateful, bitter, vitriolic, on and on and on. They're wrong. Thought it was very well written, very interesting and entertaining. Sure, I would have done things somewhat differently, but it's not my story. AND, it's fiction. Would have liked to have read more on her 'withdrawal' from the drugs and alcohol, and perhaps splitting from whoever was supplying her. Have to give it a 5, just to offset some of the cement-headed BTB crowd.

So many plot holes and stupidities!

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So if they are divorced, why didn’t he get half of her money already? Or at least formally turned it down in the divorce action?

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And why the Fuck was he being friendly with her band mates (except maybe Cody) who were all fucking her for YEARS?

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And how the hell does this Slut so completely and suddenly change? Not only dis she fuck around on tour for years…but she fucked around on him when she was NOT on tour!

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Oh well…it takes a real super-cuck to take that kind of a slut back 🤗. Only in LW World….

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2 **

Good 1st part then this chapter went to down hill which essentially cancels out the 1st part. Yes it's fiction but no way a spouse takes the cheater back in this situation unless they're swingers or something

"What if he tells her?" - He won't. He said, "Let me add, that if you ever breathe a word of this to any of the girls, you will never sing again." Of course, isn't this all going out on the live-stream?

\

Saw the Reconciliation tag, couldn't see reading all this just for them to reconcile.

Ridiculous cuck-out. Another husband written as a weak cunt, starting with the belief she was facing around but said nothing because he might observe her. What bullshit.

Brilliant. At last an MC that acts like a real man and looks after his family rather than flying of the hook like a petulant for year old. He realised that looking after his family was more important than holding on to the stupid idea that monogamy is relevant in the post Christian era.

I don't necessarily mind reconciliation , I guess what made me dislike this story was it felt... Jammed together.

Like you knew how you wanted to start it and how you wanted to end it but no idea how to connect them, there's so many plot holes and awkward characterization, everyone feels like a cardboard cutout of a cliche, saying lines because they have to to keep the cliche going.

I don't really mind your writing, I'd maybe just suggest storyboarding or trying to build some depth.

The writing isn't bad, the story however is. He just takes her back after she cheated for years. No therapy, no counseling, nothing. What is her keeping from whoring around again if she doesn't even know why she cheated in the first place?

Although well-written, the Wife's actions were just too over the top to allow a reconciliation to be believable other than acknowledging Husband to be a welcoming, enthusiastic, cuck. Otherwise, no normal man would reconcile ane re-marry such a wanton tramp-- no trust, loyalty, or respect on her part.

G

Very nice - - excellent! Thank you!

Seriously?

.

The bitch was not worth the trouble. Forget, for a moment, tne egregious 10+ year adultery extravaganza she was on without a thought about her family. So, during that same timeframe, she’s making millions of $$$ and never…NEVER….gels hubby and allows some of that wealth to be used to make a better life for her kids??? And no fucking way she was as oblivious about that $$$ like Ryan claimed….totally unbelievable.

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As well….no fucking way John wasn’t aware…or at least curious….at some level….about her income while in a popular band for a decade. At the very least, the guy would have gone after his share of it at the divorce….FOR THE KIDS!!! Just a humongous plot hole. But one that really makes this Slut an even more despicable slut than just the sex and drugs showed her to be.

.

So a reconciliation with this creature? No fucking way. Ever.

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2 **

So, I see that I've read this before and commented already, but have to add this: the delightfulness of the daughters overcame the awfulness of the wife. Those were the kinds of daughters that I love to read about. Have 3 boys and no girls, but would be proud to have some girls like these as my grand-daughters.

Great story. Thanks.

I could buy a reconciliation if she was a month into their first breakthrough tour, and had just started to betray her family. This is not the case. She believed him when he told her that her 9 year old daughter was not his, that means she had been cheating for 10 years, very likely more, with who knows how many people. Ten years. Think about that. That's a lifestyle of cheating. Probably 1000s of cheating fucks. You don't reconcile with such people. You get them into rehab, wish them good luck, and move your family away. This is a disaster.

Hate the story. Reconciliation? Ugh no. Love your writing. Wont rate it to penalize because I really want more writing from you.

2nd chapter is nice, but again an abrupt ending

bit of a stretch for a RAAC, way to wordy, could have cut out 2 pages,

otherwise not a bad tale

Thanks for writing

There’s a lot of far-too-sweet in there, nearly nauseatingly sweet. Also I don’t have issues with RAAC as long as it doesn’t have mild-mannered accountant Morton call in his former Special Forces unit. You didn’t do that. There are a few things you did, that didn’t really fit: (1) Ryan made his statement of love for Em, then disappeared. After years touring with her, Ryan wouldn’t have disappeared; (2) John should have had an idea of her earnings and assets, at least a ballpark estimate. His lawyer would have advised him that she could challenge the financial split, so he’d need net worth for both of them. (3) no discussion of how her music career would work moving forward. Albums usually get followed with a tour. Sex on tour is as much an addiction as drugs or alcohol - and most addicts fall off the wagon. His bluff (vasectomy and Laura) told him she’d been cheating at least 10 years. John already divorced her, so he wasn’t going to tolerate more cheating. Necessary conversations should have been included.

Some constructive criticism for you.

Your descriptions of what is going on in the scenes are far, far to sparse. Sometimes they are non-existent. It causes dialog to feel rushed and scenes transitions to be so jarring you don't even realize that the setting has changed.

Let me give an example.

Here is what you wrote:

"Yea, Hailey. Is your Dad here? I need to talk to him. He probably doesn't want to see me, but it's real important. Can I come in out of the rain?"

"Sure, I'll get him."

Dashing to the kitchen. "Dad, Dad. Ryan is here and he says he needs to talk to you. It's real important and it's about Mom."

"Hi, Ryan. Come on in and sit down. Can I get you anything?"

And here is an improved scene just adding some descriptions of who is where and when:

"Yea, Hailey. Is your Dad here? I need to talk to him. He probably doesn't want to see me, but it's real important. Can I come in out of the rain?"

Hailey frowned, "Sure, I'll get him."

Dashing to the kitchen. "Dad, Dad. Ryan is here and he says he needs to talk to you. It's real important and it's about Mom."

I quickly set down the stack of dishes I was holding and made my way to our front door. Ryan looked apprehensive as I approached. I realized as I walked up to him I was scowling like I was willing death on him. I took a breath to steady myself and then greeted him.

"Hi, Ryan. Come on in and sit down." He walked into the house and I gestured towards our family room. As he sat down I asked him, "Can I get you anything?"

I hope this suggestion is helpful.

This is by far the worst RAAC in the history of the genre. Sickening, really.

Meh. Not real believable to me. She’s just not a good person and he’s just too dumb to live. Sorry. Thanks.

OK story.

Very nice. Thanks ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wow…not sure I want to comment on this railroad of a farce….! Can’t believe a writer smokes so much weed while writing..that a story makes no sense!

She cheated for more than 9 years and when he found out, she went off to party and get high. Then she comes back and all is good again. She says "I swear this time I will keep my promises" and BAM, together again... Well this is a big fat NO!

John though are a simp!

If you set out to write a weak, unprincipled, low T, faggot of a cuck, you certainly succeeded. The slut isn't convincing either. Acts like super slut cunt for years, and then she gets a personality transplant? The children are written as lacking a moral compassion, too. The cucks and simps will love this. Anyone who is psychologically and morally healthy will be repelled.

Man, sorry to say but I have to agree with a lot of the others here. You really put a huge millstone around Em's neck with how you made her this serial cheater for years and years. You basically set the hurdle way too high for her to ever come back from something like that and redeem herself to almost all of your readers. On top of that, John, while he divorces Em, seems totally unphased and prepared to get back together with her the moment the meet face to face again. That seems wrong to me.

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On top of that, you really barrel through the story. You don't take the time to describe things, or feelings and I don't think you know what a metaphor is dude. I would recommend reading some more and thinking about what makes the stories you really like to read so interesting. Then, like all good writers, steal that shit.

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Overall I'm giving this an average score because you put a lot of work into it, but while I didn't find the story repulsive like the guy below me did, I'm left just not having bought into it at all.