All Comments on 'The Web Ch. 03'

IMHO this story is the reason to have a Mind Control catagory. It works the other end of the spectrum from 'non-consent' and it does it well.

A note to the author that reviewing/editing is necessary. There were WAY to many typos and in one instance the names Kelly and Cathy were transposed. I suggest finding someone to read it for you - another set of eyes can really help.

On page 1, "Cathy road out my orgasm" should be "Cathy rode out my orgasm".

On page 2, "when Kelly asked to join us," Kelly purred" should be "when Kelly asked to join us," Cathy purred".

On page 3, "road out her climax" again should be "rode".

On page 4, "I know if bends the rules a little" should be "I know it bends the rules a little". Also on page 4, "I drank in the site" should be "I drank in the sight".

Very nice story, thanks!

Amazing story!!! No amount of small grammar mistakes could take anything away from this story, I could imagine it was a fete liking of a real event

I've updated the story to correct these mistakes. It turns out that it's harder than you think to find an editor willing to work with such a long story. However, thanks for pointing them out. --Antonio

This is such great stuff, im devouring this up, nothing i could see at fault with your way of writing this story. Great job.

Why aren't you posting any new stories?

I just love your style. A little psychology, a lot of hotness, respect and trust. All the right stuff to make me melt.

Josie

Thanks a lot!!

Hope he anus play give you hemorrhoids

Aside from not having any idea of the conjugations of "LAY"..

It was excellent.