All Comments  for

Guillotine Shawl

byoggbashan©
All
Comments (2)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous10/18/12

Great story except for the end

Wonderful characterisations, you really presented two believable flawed characters. I really liked the build up and where it was going, but the ending felt kind of incomplete or rushed? Normally if it ends in a rush there's an unexpected twist, which didn't really seem to be present. In all probability it's just my expectations leading me astray with it being filed under "Erotic Horror".

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by WilCox4903/08/18

Really excellent!

My only criticism is that letting people get away with playing that kind of game is a bad idea. One of the four should have called in the police. Good on Ben, though, for having examined the thing earlier.

Or, one more thing. I found the occasional jumps into present tense and POV jarring. ("Another dispute is worrying me slightly. Ben and I together have won more ... ", for example) If this was deliberate, I don't see the reason; if not, it's sloppy.

Oh. And surely, "La Maison", not "The Maison"?

An excellent story, which I greatly enjoyed despite things like these. Mostly I've been avoiding your erotic horror stories. Decided to try this one, and I'm very glad I did.

- WWC3

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to Guillotine Shawl  or
More submissions by oggbashan.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

Refresh ImageYou may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel