by The_Maestro_Braddock
Here's the edited version with the grammar errors, hopefully, cleared up. Thanks again for drawing my attention to them so I could address the problem. I do hope this makes everyone's reading experience a measure more enjoyable.
Thanks for alerting me to the issues. As I was writing I vacillated on who was to be the POV character and I expect a lot of the issues were due to that switch. Unfortunately, all the mistakes I mixed, including the one you pointed out specifically were well after the four paragrpah mark. If you get a chance to read the revised version and catch what I missed in the early goings, please don't hesitate to give me a head's up.
Thanks!
(Please note, I've submitted the edited version but it is, as of this moment, not yet live.
I admit, I only got about 4 paragraphs in. You kept mixing up "I" and "He," as well as "him" and "me," and "his" and "my." You don't breathe things into your own ear, generally. Usually I can take mistakes well enough to at least finish, but it was just too much. Fix that, though, and I think you've got quite the story.