by fgmntfmgnshn
"I was hanging from a ceiling fan at one point." OK I have questions. But I was also laughing hard. :)
I'm pretty sure Amy would have stopped if she was faced with murder. Come on no one with her smarts is that stupid. Especially when all the evidence has been destroyed and there was only 3 weeks of school left. Even if she somehow persisted after being let go, no one would believe her and there wouldn't have been enough time left of the school year to do anything. She'd come across as a crazy person at best if she started spouting accusations with no evidence when everyone denies it all including the principal. So for her to be murdered, if that is indeed what happened, is extreme and unnecessary.
Okay, I gotta know… what happened to Amy Saunders? You don’t say anything other than she disappeared with 3 weeks of school left. What about her parents? Brothers? Sisters? Extended family and friends? Anyone of them might be a person of influence or have connections to investigate her disappearance. This one plot point has me saying, whoa!
Overall I quite enjoyed it, I felt the continued treatment of Lindsay was ott , there was no need to steal the house , and to murder a student just too far.
I pretty much agree with a lot of comments; the disappearance of Amy left a big hole. Murder her? That didn't fly well. But your editor? Wasn't he supposed to be spell checking? You changed up present & past tense in the same sentence(s); and occasionally left out a word in a sentence. He really doesn't deserve any thanks.
Umm...I totally support killing bad men(eg.isis douches), but Amy...Why??
Dude it's erotica...Just blackmail her or find wat she likes and use it to Ur advantage.
And wtf happened to the body...I'm sure there would have been an investigation...I mean schools have cameras right??...So won't they check who she was with last...If the tapes were erased then they would have probable cause or clues to who is involved...I'm just saying
Why do you think the title is called a darkening soul?
so he is a rich kid, his only problem is not being the in the "it crowd" so what does he do? start prostitution, blackmail, money extortion (25% off the top+school funds).
and to top it all murder?
definitely not a "hero" character.
Okay first off. I loved this series, but you gotta say: this ending sucked ass. He shouldn't have killed Amy he should have convinced her to come to the dark side like he did Lucy. Find what she loves and wants then exploit it.
cold blooded murder is outside my comfort zone.
His actions led him to kill Amy. I can accept that you have to break eggs to make an omelet, but this is going to far. He needed to find a way to turn her.
Otherwise he is worse than those he started out to "contain" or stop them from doing their bad or evil things.
I know evil when I see it.
Steve
Our protagonist has turned into a megalomaniac !
There are some unanswered question's ;
Is Amy dead ?
What happened to Winnies mother did she get it once a week and every other weekend ?
Was Hilary such an idiot to sign over her home !
The story has gone to far from being realistic to a fantasy story.
Interesting situations to write about though.
This was SO far-fetched and ridiculous that I couldn't help but laugh. It's a comedy, it has to be.
Not to say it wasn't entertaining, I did enjoy reading this. So thank you for sharing it, I look forward to reading about the college years.
... has it right! Ha! This was massively over the top and thus entertaining as hell, especially to one who was not in the cool kids clique.
And I loved every line of it.
This is sooo over-the-top that it's funny as hell, and the sex scenes aren't half bad as well.
If that's how you meant it, you did a terrific job.
This story line was amazing, really fascinating twists. Interested to Know how/ if emma will punish Lorraine Please write more!
It was great, but please write more! I would love to hear some adventures with Kitten and about what happens to Amy!
Wrong catagory, unbelievable characters, unrealistic to believe that every grade 12 person was 18 and older...unless they were complete morons and failed a grade. Likewise, girls don't respond only to the "hot football" player or guys to the "hot cheerleader". Not only is it stereotypical, it is boring as fuck.
It just kept getting worse. Do us a favor. Don't write anything else. Ever.