A Learning Experience Ch. 07

***

After arriving at the shelter's office, a woman helps me get sheets, blanket, soap and toiletries and I thank her as she shows me to a cot on the floor of the church's gym with a small privacy screen next to it. She can tell I'm very ill and asks if I need medical help, and I tell her no. But she lingers as I sit down hard on the cot, and nearly pass out. I look up to a scared look on her face. Any number of wild tales have been concocted to scare good shelter volunteers into fearing the transgendered. Much of my makeup has disappeared and my ability to hide my body's gender is hard pressed without the magic of makeup. I quickly open my purse and I motion for her to come closer, finally she does, and I place a rolled up hundred dollar bill in her palm.

"P-please... I'm just really tired and need some sleep," I plead, "I'd really appreciate it if you could keep people from waking me up... Thanks."

She nods and leaves me, but I know it's a last ditch measure, her greed against her fear, and I would have to hope her greed would win out. I went to the ladies bathroom and used a cubicle to empty my bladder and bowels. Then cleaned up at one of the sinks, and was the only person I saw as it was still early, most of their clientele wouldn't arrive until shortly before curfew.

I've changed into a nightshirt and robe, and make up my little padded cot with one of the sheets and blanket. It feels so good to finally be able to lay down. But the withdrawals are starting to generate spasms that feel like charlie horses, except they come a dozen at a time. For now they don't come often and I fall into a deep sleep.

A couple hours later, curfew is coming and the church is getting crowded, I wake from the noise and bustle going on around me. I realize I've sweated out and my sheet I put down is soaked, and drops are pouring off of my forehead. I get up and remake my cot again, using the second sheet I had been given, and hoped I wouldn't have any more night sweats. I also realized how thirsty I was, and they had a refrigerator with bottled water. So I left a 'donation' of a dollar and took a couple bottles back to bed with me. After I fall asleep, I think I am hearing voices, it suddenly feels cold. Someone is pulling my covers up, and I strike out and grab my blanket back, and then fall back to sleep. Several minutes later, I am barely aware of more voices.

"Yeah, you found one," an unknown male voice says, "They can't go anywhere, just keep an eye on 'im and let us know if it tries to leave, we'll be back in the morning."

When I awoke again, I was tied into a straitjacket, and strapped down onto some kind of a gurney lying in a brightly lit hallway. Two men in white uniforms were talking about me. I began to panic and struggled wildly, I was screaming and trying to rip my arm sockets out and then decided I could dislocate a shoulder, and escape that way. I was then suddenly wheeled into another room with a odd looking machine enclosed in wood, sitting on a large stand, when one of the men in the white uniforms quickly grabbed my head, his hands sheathed in heavy leather gloves, as another technician inserted a mouth gag designed to prevent my jaw from breaking with the enormous shock. Electrodes were placed over my shaved temples and my world went white, but as I slowly came too, there was a terrible smell of burning flesh.

I screamed and sat bolt upright in my cot, the straitjacket was gone, and I was back in the shelter. A number of people looked over at me and yelled for me to go back to sleep. I was covered in sweat again, but by now I could barely stay awake, and once I'd realized it was only a dream, I fell back into another restless and fitful sleep.

***

"OH MY GOD," its another voice, so much louder and it sounds familiar, "Its her, ITS HER! Oh Josie! Wake up baby, its Mel darling... it-its Melissa... baby?"

My eyelids fluttered at the name... but surely it was another dream... it couldn't really be her... that would be impossible... someone was shaking me now... all I wanted to do was throw up... I was so sick... just needed... sleep.

"Cindy! Cindy, over here," Mel cried, "She's trying, but can't open her eyes... oh God!"

"C'mon Mel, lemme take a look," Cindy said, "yeah, I think you're right Simone, it could be withdrawal... but you say she doesn't use street drugs?"

"I've seen withdrawal, and was afraid it must be... but," Simone said, "No. She'd never taken drugs that I knew of, and certainly not the street drugs going around."

"Well... judging by pupil reaction," Cindy said, flashing a small light in and out of my eyes, "she's been taking something... and for quite a while."

"Will she be okay?" Mel was crying hard now, "Please... please help her!"

"She'll be alright now honey," Cindy replied, "We'll make sure she is."

"Hey Smitty!" Kelsey was yelling, "We found her... over here!"

"Oh, there you are Serena," a new voice... Sara said, "Thanks for calling me."

"You're welcome Miss Sara," a new voice... Serena said, "We all heard about what happened with Simone, and later heard you were searching for a platinum haired woman that might be ill. Well... this young lady came in around nine or so, and gave me that hundred-dollar bill and all these bells went off ya know? But... you gotta get her outta here, she's been spotted by the outreach crew, and I think the director knows... she's a real bible thumper... oh, here's the hundred she gave me."

"We all want you to keep it, Serena. For finding her and calling me." Sara said, and then asked, "Cindy? Did you hear that... do you think we can move her?"

"Sounds like we'll have to," Cindy said, "Smitty? Can you and Billy carry her outside to one of the cars? A four door if possible, and lay her in the back?"

"Sure Cindy," Smitty said, turned and called out, "Hey Billy! C'mon bro... need ya!"

"You can't take her out of here!" another unknown voice, "She has a terrible disease and shouldn't be moved by anyone but medical staff from the Outreach Center!"

I felt my cot being gently lifted now, as my eyes fluttered open once more, I saw Billy and Smitty carrying me towards the front door. Escorting me on my right was Cindy, Mel (holding my hand), and a tall woman in her 30s that must be Sara. On my left were my 'stray cats', Simone, Kelsey, and Charlene. The woman demanding I not be moved, had now scared most everyone in the shelter after the claims of 'disease' and the panicked mob broke through the doors and were leaving just as fast as they could.

"I'm the director of this shelter, and I'll have you know the police are on their way, and if you don't leave this instant, I'll have you arrested for breaking the city's curfew laws and trespass. Stop now!"

"Lady, in case you wanna look around," Smitty was saying, "you don't have a shelter now that everyone thinks there's a disease here... good thinking!"

"Yeah bitch," Sara teased, "Once the board of this shelter hears about this they'll be cleaning out your desk for ya. You wanna keep your measly-assed job you better come up with some damned good excuses... damned fast."

"Oh, by the way," Smitty was still talking, "you'll find it a little hard to call the police with your fucking phone lines cut!"

As they got my cot outside, I started shaking again. Someone had driven a four door Buick up to the curb. Billy wrapped me in a blanket and carefully placed me in the back seat and put a pillow under my head, Mel, Cindy and Sara got in and we left. I couldn't talk, and could barely stay awake, but my tears said it all, I knew I would be okay again.

"Will she be alright?" a voice that was... so familiar...

"I think so," Cindy replied, "just get this heap moving... get her home."

"Yes Mistress," No... no, this was a dream... it HAD to be...

"Josie?" Mel asked, stroking my face, "Cindy? I think her eyes are opening!"

Suddenly his eyes and mine locked on each other in the rear-view mirror!

"Veuillez Maîtresse," Miles spoke it perfectly, "j'ai faim de votre attention, affamées de vous aimer!"

I was crying too hard, and overcome with emotion, but decided I had to reply somehow. I cleared my throat and tried something... small... but important...

"Je t'aime Miles... thank you Cindy," my voice cracked, but an angel HAD rescued me from hell, as I knew she would, and I coughed hard to get out what had to be said, "Melissa... I will love you forever & always."

Mel dug her arms around and under me and hugged for all she was worth, it hurt... but I didn't care, I folded my arms around her perfect back and petted and stroked her beautiful hair and skin all the way down the expressway... all the way back home.