by dkeats
I found it an exciting story, easy to picture it.
Re Part 1__ I'm not an expert but the part where she first talks to him could have been been introduced a little better. It seems unrealistic for her to start treating him like a slave as soon as she sees him, I find it too cliched that way.
I think you should have built up to that or had her be dominant in a more realistic way.
On the other hand I enjoyed the rest of it and the things that happened in part 2. You tapped into the
"vulnerability" part of the cfnm fetish.
Very good. Hope you will post more, don't be put off!
Great beginning, would love to read more chapters. Please continue writing more about James' journey.
EXCELLENT START, I hope you continue your story, I would like to know who just arrived. Excellent story.