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All Comments on 'Adventures with Louise Ch. 01'

by john1982

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  • 3 Comments
yakboy69yakboy69over 15 years ago
Good so far. looking forward to the resat.

Well done John1982. I like it so far. Looking forward to see if you can avoid the temptation.

elfin_odalisqueelfin_odalisqueover 15 years ago
Good start

Personally, I don't like explanatory paragraphs that say it is a real story. Just tell it as fiction. However, I liked it and thought it was a good little tease. More storytelling with dialogue would be good.

litchipkinglitchipkingover 15 years ago
It's a start...

A nice beginning. Glad to see that you're not afraid to let the story build.

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