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All Comments on 'Ailiana's New Job'

by JuicyPeach

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Adam RightmannAdam Rightmannabout 19 years ago
This has potential, but needs some editing

JuicyPeach,

This has a lot of potential, but could use some editing. There are a few incomplete sentences, and the story arc had odd pacing.

It's a good story for your first posting, though, and cleaning up the incomplete sentences would really help.

Thanks,

Adam

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