Battle-Hardened, War Weary Ch. 05

Despite standing outside, in 48 degree weather and without a coat on him, Daniel felt hot. He was burning up due to the anger that he was feeling at the moment. He was angry at his mother for saying such a horrible thing. He was angry at her for spewing a horrible lie to him and for slandering Mary Anne.

Daniel took four giant steps towards his mother. He invaded her personal space. He glared at the woman. "What the fuck are you talking about?" he growled. "Sean is my son. He is my son!"

"No, he is not your son, baby" she informed him, with her voice sounding so soft.

"Why do you say that?" He was still angry, but he wanted to know why his mother would say such a thing. He knew that Claudia was the type of person who would lie with malicious intent. She wasn't an instigator.

Claudia sighed. She glanced at the traffic for a second before staring at her son. "Baby, it takes eight to nine months to make a healthy baby. The last time I've talked to you, you told me that Mary Anne was five months pregnant. When I walked into that birthing room last night and I saw her, I knew she was further along than what she had told you. Honey, she was bigger than a woman who is five months along. There's no way Little Sean would've been born that damn healthy! I had your brother, when I was five months pregnant. He was carted off into the N.I.C.U. as soon as I pushed him out. When your son was born, what happened next? He was treated like any other full-term baby. There's no way in hell that that baby is a preemie."

Daniel didn't believe Claudia's reasoning. He didn't believe in her lies. He had taken a step backwards while shaking his head in disbelief. "He's special—

"The nurse told you that he didn't need to be induced, baby! Remember when the nurse said that Mary Anne didn't need the Pitocin—

"It's the medication to make her and Little Sean..."

"No, Pitocin is used to induce labor. It is not used to induce labor for premature babies!"

"... Feel better," uttered Daniel. He shook his head. "I don't believe you. How could you say something so...fucking mean to me?" His stomach was aching as well as his chest.

"I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings—

"YES, YOU ARE!" he screamed at her.

Claudia shook her head. "No, I'm not. Danny, you need to know about her. She lied to you. She cheated on you, she had gotten pregnant and then tried to pin her baby on you. This woman is no different than the groupies that usually—

"NO! NO! NO! NO!' Daniel screamed. "NO, SHE IS NOT LIKE ANY OF THOSE SLUTS! NO! MARY ANNE IS A GOOD WOMAN! SHE'S A GOOD, GOD-FEARING WOMAN!"

"Baby, it's been from my experience that those God-fearing, Bible-reading women are the biggest whores out of them all. They just haven't accepted who they are..." Claudia had taken another drag from her Newport. "If you don't want to believe me, fine, then don't believe me. But, I will suggest to you to ask one of those doctors up there why do they use Pitocin on women. Or, you can do an internet search and look up the uses of Pitocin. Or, better yet, call up your friend and ask her. You know, the doctor one? What's her name?" Claudia stared down at the pavement as she tried to remember the person's name. Once she remembered, she snapped her fingers. "Katrina Mora, you remember her, don't you? She's the daughter of one of your Uncle Jack's cop-friends. Why don't you call her and ask her about Pitocin."

The mention of Katrina Mora made Daniel's skin crawl. The last thing he wanted to do was speak to that vile woman.

"Yes, I know she is a doctor and I am not going to call her," he informed his mother with a snarl on his lips. He stepped away from his mother and eventually walked away from her.

****

Daniel was standing in the corridor that he always imagined that he would visit. In his mind, he imagined there were other men standing in this hallway. He imagined faceless men staring into the nursery and pointing at their babies. He daydreamed that he was doing the same thing.

Right now, he was standing in front of the large window. He was gazing at his son, who was lying in his incubator. He was asleep while he was sucking on a plastic blue pacifier. He was wrapped up in a pale blue, Ralph Lauren baby blanket. He held a light blue, knit cap on his head. His tiny fists lied beside his face. They were clenched tight. Daniel gazed at his son's face with a critical eye. He was staring at the slanted eyes, the small upturned nose and the pudgy cheeks.

"He's my son," he muttered. "He has to be." Daniel dug through his pants' pocket and withdrew his NEXTEL cell phone. He had gone through the directory and found the telephone number that he was searching for. He called the number. He listened to four rings before the call connected.

"Hello," was her greeting. Her voice sounded soft and husky. He thought that he interrupted her plans.

"Hello Katrina, it's me. It's Daniel Logan."

There was an eight-second bit of silence between the two lines.

"Katrina, are—

"I am here, Danny" she informed him. She sighed. "Why are you calling me?"

"I need to ask you about something," he asked of her.

"Okay, what is it?"

"You are a gynecologist, right?" he questioned.

"Is that the question that you wanted to ask me?" He had the notion that she was smiling.

"Can you lose the attitude please?" It hasn't been more than fifteen minutes and he already found her to be irritating.

"Listen, you called me! I didn't ask you to dial my number! Now if you do not like my attitude, then you can hang up the phone!" she growled at him.

Daniel rolled his eyes and ground his teeth. He didn't like Katrina. He thought that she was too brash, too abrasive and too uncouth. He didn't like her when they were children and forced to play with each other. He didn't like her when they were teenagers and was forced to have her in his social circle. And judging from this conversation, Daniel thought his opinion of her wasn't changing.

"Sorry," he growled.

There was silence for a moment before she had spoken again. "What's your question?"

Daniel let out a sigh. "What's Pitocin?"

"What's Pitocin?"

"Yes, I want to know what it is used for?" he questioned.

"Pitocin is a drug that is used to induce labor," she answered his question.

Daniel felt his heart rate speed up. He frantically scratch at his scalp. He began to pace the hallway and in front of the nursery's window.

"Why would a doctor use it?" he asked.

"To induce labor, duh."

He growled in irritation. He heard Katrina gasped from annoyance. "I mean, what is it used for? In what type of situations would Pitocin be used for?"

"Oh, I see what you're asking me" Katrina said into the phone. "Pitocin is used to speed up the labor and delivery process. The only times we use Pitocin on a pregnant woman is when we want to save the baby because the child is in danger or could be in danger. For example, the baby's heart rate is dramatically decreasing. Or a pregnant woman has gone pass her due date and her baby is becoming too big. Otherwise than that, we hope for the process to occur naturally..."

Daniel stopped listening to Katrina's explanation. He was lost in his thoughts. Everything that his mother told him was coming into fruition. Little Sean wasn't his son. Mary Anne had cheated on him and she was now trying to pin this baby on him. Then his mind was plagued with imagined scenarios of different interactions with him and Sean.

"DANIEL!"

The call of his name brought his attention back to his phone conversation.

"What?" he growled.

"I thought you hung up on me because you had gone quiet," she explained to him.

"I am still here," he notified her while he thought of an image of Daniel cradling Sean in his arms.

"Why did you ask me about Pitocin? Is it about your wife? I remember seeing her on television and she was pregnant. Is everything okay with her?"

"Yes, she is fine." He imagined teaching a ten year-old Sean how to play football.

"Are you at the hospital right now?"

"Yeah." There was imagery of teaching him how to ride a bike.

"Why in the hell are you on the phone with me instead of with your wife?" she asked him, sounding slightly offended.

"She already given birth." There was an image of Daniel teaching his imagined son how to fish.

"Oh yeah," Katrina said cheerfully. "What did she have?"

"A boy."

"Congrat..."

"I don't think he's mine." His voice trembled, which conveyed that he was on the verge of tears.

"...lations," she whispered. Then there was silence. "Oh, Danny" she sighed. She gave another sigh. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," he whimpered. "The timing is off and there's something else." Daniel sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall.

"What do you mean?"

Daniel let out a gust of air. He raked his fingers through his thick hair. He let out another sigh. He was about to let her know some personal information about himself. He realized that it's been a very long time since he was able to be himself while in a public place. Ever since the night that he was drafted by the Missouri Emperors, he has been groomed to keep his opinions, thoughts, ideas, dreams, passions, hobbies and his life private. He has been taught to give politically correct answers and opinions, in order to not piss off his endorsing sponsors, his bosses and the fans.

"Mary Anne and I eloped. We eloped on October 9th, last year. I was on a 'bye week' and I was home with Mary Anne. One night, we were getting..." He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. He was feeling embarrassed. "We were getting hot and heavy, when she stopped. She said that she couldn't take it any longer and that she wanted to get married now. You see, Mary Anne was a virgin and she wanted to save herself until our honeymoon night—

"She's a Bible-thumper, right?" questioned Katrina. He could've sworn that she was smiling as she spoke to him.

He snorted and then snarled. Then he continued with his testimony. "We packed a few bags and we booked a flight to Las Vegas. I bought a penthouse suite at a fancy hotel and then we had found a wedding chapel. We were married by a Dean Martin impersonator. After our wedding ceremony, Mary Anne and I had gone back to our hotel room and we..." There was another swallow. "We consummated our marriage on that night. We planned on keeping our wedding a secret because her parents had put in a lot of money into our wedding and—

"Okay," he heard Katrina say. Her voice sounded odd.

"Mary Anne was a virgin on our wedding night."

"Are you sure about that one?" Her voice had resumed its normalcy.

"Yes... Well, I thought that she was one. I thought she was one because of the fact that she bled, as soon as I... inserted myself. We were planning on keeping the wedding a secret and then she told me, one day, that she told her parents. I didn't know why and I didn't put too much thought into it. I found out about the pregnancy in December. She told me that she conceived on the night of our wedding, which would make her two months pregnant. Yesterday, she had gone into labor. Her water broke—

"Wait, her water broke?" Katrina sounded concerned.

"Y-Yes. I was with my family and she called me to let me know."

"Did she specifically say that her water broke?"

"Yes," stated Daniel as he nodded his head. "She specifically said that her water broke."

"Okay, so, what is with the questions about the Pitocin?"

"After Mary Anne had given birth, a nurse told me that the baby was healthy. She said that Mary Anne's doctor was happy that she didn't need a shot of Pitocin. I thought Pitocin was medicine that was going to make Sean healthy," explained Daniel.

"No, Danny, doctors do not use Pitocin to make babies healthy. We use Pitocin to induce labor. From what you have told me and if I have to give you my professional opinion, I think Mary Anne has gone pass her due date, which is why the Pitocin was mentioned. Plus, if the baby was conceived in October and she gave birth now, you wouldn't be on the phone with me right now. You would be..." She sighs. "You would be hovering around the N.I.C.U. right now."

By then Daniel allow his tears to spill freely. He though that he was experiencing a heart attack. He was feeling hot but there was constant cold chill running down his back. His chest ached while his heart was racing. His stomach suffered from indigestion. He wanted a drink at the moment.

"He weighed eight pounds and ten ounces. He is twenty-two inches long," he said into the phone as he recited all of the information that was on his identification card. "He is big," he chuckled. He wasn't happy. "He is going to be the size of a tank when he grows up. He..." He let out a shaky breath and then a sob. "He will probably play for an O-Line..." Another sob escaped his mouth. "He was my boy."

"Daniel—

The phone was dropped to the polished, green linoleum floor while Daniel buried his face into his hands. He sat on the floor and cried.

****

Mary Anne had woken up to the sounds of birds chirping outside of her windows. She kept her eyes closed. She wanted to savor this glorious day. The windows were supposed to have a sound-proof feature, to block out the sounds of the traffic and other noise pollution that was occurring, but somehow the birds' songs managed to make it through. She had considered that to be another sign from God that everything was fine. She thanked her Lord, Jesus Christ for bestowing his blessings on her.

One of those blessings was the act of forgiveness. Since her discovery of being pregnant, she has been praying to Jesus for his help. She prayed to Him, asking Him to help Daniel to forgive her. She wanted Daniel to forgive her so badly.

She knew that her prayer was answered, this morning. It occurred after she had expelled Sean from her body. It was the moment when her husband gazed down at her and declared that he loved her. She felt her heart make a few hard thumps against her chest and she felt her stomach convulsed. She began to cry from the joy that she felt.

'Thank you God,' she silently praised as she remembered the moment.

Mary Anne opened her eyes to find herself lying on her side. She was facing the floor-to-ceiling windows that was a part of the birthing room suite. She gingerly rolled onto her back. Her body felt as if she had just climbed Mount Kilimanjaro and she had just used only her hands and feet to do it. Her body was achy and stiff. Her lower extremities felt as if she pried apart with the help of two elephants.

"Oh goodness gravy, I am hurting," she said to no one.

She surveyed the luxurious, $2,300.00/a day birthing suite that she was residing in. One of the wives' of Daniel's teammates suggested this hospital to Mary Anne. She mentioned that the deluxe birthing rooms was the 'best of the best' and was 'worth every penny'. Hearing such a thing from a glamorous lady caused Mary Anne to pick this hospital without receiving an official tour of the hospital. Once Mary Anne and Daniel received a tour and she saw a birthing suite, she was excited and proud of herself for picking Mount Pleasant Hospital.

'Thank you God for making us so fortunate.'

"We need to talk." The statement had come from a familiar voice that she has never heard before. It was dark, coarse and angry, even though she knew the owner of the voice.

Mary Anne thought that she was about jump out of her skin, due to the fright that she had just received. "Oh Daniel, you scared me!" She rolled onto her left side, so she could face him. Once her blue eyes settled on her husband, her eyes widened. The image that greeted her made her blood turn cold. Her face frowned up and tears burned at her eyelids.

Daniel was lounging in a chair. He was staring intensely at her. His face was stoic, except for his eyes. His lips were a thin line. His face was ghastly pale. Mary Anne focused on his eyes.

They were discolored bags underneath his eyes.

His eyes were sharp and full of anger.

They were black and obsidian.

They spoke to her. They said that they hated her. They wished her pain and misery. They hoped that her soul is raped by misfortune and guilt.

Daniel was sitting in a reclining, leather Ekornes chair that was positioned on the left side of the bed. Mary Anne remembers seeing the chair on the day before and imagining witnessing Daniel holding their child while he sat in that chair. Now, he was sitting in that very same chair looking sinister.

Daniel held an object up in the air for Mary Anne to view. Her eyes stared at the object. She recognized the item. Her eyes widened from shock and fear. He was holding her daily planner. She trembled in fear. She remembered that she kept her daily planner in her purse. She stared at the floor. Her purse lied at his feet.

She stared at her daily planner again. It was the tool that she contained her secrets. It was as if the small book was her confession box. The black, leather bound book was the confession box while the ball-point pens that she used was the priest. Each page that she had written on was filled with a confession of hers. Daniel had her planner opened up to one of her confessions. With her keen sense of sight, Mary Anne saw the page that he held opened.

'Oh no,' she silently said to him.

On the page, the date April 10, 2001 was written in the upper right hand corner, in bold and black lettering. Right under the date, in cursive lettering and in blue ink, the words 'Due Date' was written.

"Like I said before, we need to talk."