All Comments on 'Better off Dead'

Should be in the Sci-Fi section. Stop doing this to yourself SS.

You're far better than this.

Not bad but doesn't have the flow of your original style tales. Nice to see you trying something different.

4*

Thx :)

people who use it are the Morons part, TK U MLJ LV NV

I laughed so hard reading this story. I loved Victoria I thought she was a little ditzy but love able nonetheless. I actually started testing up hearing that Adam killed himself, that would've annoyed the shit out of me. This was a weird love story, he kidnapped her & they fell in love, I loved it, it was unique. Zeke sounded really gross, I can't believe she was able to stomache having sex with him.. Eww. I loved the 8 pages! One thing got me a little confused though; how was it that Victoria didn't end up pregnant in the two years her & Adam been together when Victoria's birth control pills were left at zekes? It would've been lovely for Victoria to show up at zekes very pregnant. Awesome story I couldn't wait to find out how it played out with her disgusting family... I hated the brother & tammi. Can't wait to read next weeks story.

For example, this is just too weird. And, it is true your earlier style was infinity better.

Kudos to you for working to push your boundaries and spread your horizons. Safety and repetition are the hobgoblins of the boring and talentless.

Fun story.

Sort of light reading, i enjoyed it.

are beginning to feel about Stang's computer?

I liked it. Keep up the good work and thanks for sharing.

Total crap from a faggot writting A-Hole. Why don`t you get a job sucking cocks.

crap the sickos i notice like your stories now.

Entertaining as always - thanks for sharing with us.

Side-note to all the negative Anon's: go back to reading/perusing the cuck/wimp/fag shit that MM, bonnietaylor or wantswhiteboys spews. Get off the decent authors backs.

Anon062013

really... meh ...

Slow at the beginning, but lke always you come thru at the end. Keep them coming!!!

Nice departure from the normal. Just FYI, all marital property is communal, so she could not have been arrested for "running off with his $20" and he could not have been arrested for selling her bracelet.

This gal seemed a bit brighter than usual! The first one was the usual stuff. Zeke and Tammy were great characters to watch in action....

Keep on playing with the forms..

I enjoyed this story. You always do an excellent job of putting us inside a character's head. In all your stories, I find a line that makes me laugh out loud. That, sir, makes my day......

I was thinking no way did he just kill Adam like that. No way. I like how it ended. Great story

A well written and fun read.

It is getting to the point where I find myself at a loss how to compliment your writing style any further. Loved the story, excellent ending.

Adam and all his buddies are monsters that the author has somehow tried to twist into good people. Disgraceful to associate sociopaths like this with the military.

Another great tale from the master story teller.

but it was a great read like always

I enjoy the different POV stories. Adam may not have been what some would like but he wasn't the focus of the story. I am glad that Tela didn't have to be introduced to throw off the mix.

It was an enjoyable read. Outside of the juvenile obsession with Mustangs you stories are always enjoyable. Thanks for sharing.

A very entertaining story. Maybe the longer time between stories improved the quality.

It made me laugh & shake my head. Not in disbelief but from familiarity.

There are people that live and act like that,unfortunately I have meet them.

Really enjoy your Victoria. It has been a while since you had such a complex lady in your story.

Maybe a two week wait between postings improves your product. Like a fine wine !

Looking forward to the next serving, from the Midwest

A Merry Man.

I liked it. It was different but very entertaining to me. It gave me something to read instead of those suckass stories about husbands getting off on watching their wives fuck other men.

Loved it! Very well written!

Damn funny. Hard to quit laughing.

Loved the story Stang-man!

I'm just a romantic at heart and love a happy ending. Only wished it didn't wrap up in a couple of paragraphs, it deserved another page. Beggars can't be choosers I s'pose. I'll wait impatiently for next week.!!

You are definitely slipping a bit though... but not because of your content, ideas, or writing skill! It's because you keep putting less and less of the 'stang into your stories. Pretty soon you're going to do 10,000 words and only 1 off colour reference to the Mustang. And, oh yeah, colour IS spelled with a "u" and the correct spelling is "EH" and not "A". ;-)

Cute story, Fun read. The sad part about it though is when people are raised like Victoria and Tammy were they really do think it's alright for people to slap them around because they deserved it. You did a nice job of portraying the differences in perspectives of people. Thank you, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this one.

I liked most of it till the stupid ending.

"Air Blowjob" alone was worth 4 stars, that one really cracked me up. :) Thank you for sharing the story.

I really like how you are stepping out and away from your original formula....it's like Forest Gump's box of chocolate....readers never know what they get until they get into it....readers bitch that your stories are boring because they are all the same...but when each week over the last few/many weeks (hell I can't remember that far back) you give them something new and different and off the wall, they still bitch...just keep doing what you are doing and ignore the haters...your quality of writing always hits the mark to me.

And yes, I'm another anon mouse because I don't want the haters slamming me for sharing my thoughts with you. Keep it going and luv ya dude.

And your editor mik(whatever) seems to be doing a better job this time because I did not see the type of typos that normally flaw your work. In the past, your editor has let a lot of stupid stuff slip through and make you look stupid.

I can't remember Man at Arms' real name but I chuckled when I made the connection. Good story Stang.

I agree with Danger - would have been funny for Victoria to show up at Zeke's place knocked up. Great story, though - don't know how Ss06 comes up with these plots and characters. At times it seemed that Victoria had an IQ of about 85, but she did eventually figure things out.

1*

Your stories are something else..... You make me laugh. You make me cry. You make me mad..LOL. You make me think. I understand that your tales may not be for everyone. I see the complaints on here....Like a great song writer, or DJ. Or even a Major league baseball player...Keep cranking out those hits.....(Your on a serious roll...)...Personally I think you could turn one of these free tales to a movie sponsored by Ford.... But thats just me.... (41/AfroAmer/PtldME/)

sorry, man, but you do a catastrophically bad female POV. couple that with the whiny 'elite soldier', and that was enough.

soo VANILA

2stars

So that's how you get women! You just kidnap them and keep them locked up. Sounds familiar. hmmmm.

Adam just comes across as whiny and definitely creepy. Blowing a fuse for being called a rapist after kidnapping her, surgically implanting something to keep her under control and letting her know he is willing torture and kill her to keep from being caught just doesn't compute. Sorry but this one just doesn't fly.

I think I would like it a lot more than I actually do. This comes down to a story about a kidnapper who hates women because his ex-wife cheated on him, decides to kidnap single women so that he won't be like his ex, then completely pisses all over his own weird honor system by kidnapping a married woman and encouraging her to become a cheating whore, a process somewhat muddled by the fact that her husband is a drug-dealing, thieving cheating asshole scumbag already.

Remove that cheating element and you have something that's actually a good story on its own, because your work is overshadowed by your story writing history.

The characters are hard to like because the new man is a psycho, his troopmates are even worse, the wife is kidnapped and seduced into becoming a cheating bitch, and her husband, who she never divorces, is also a cheating scumbag, etc.

People have flaws, but I can write it off easily enough as the wild and crazy you promised and ditching the morality overtones that are suggested but completely fail to be present in any capacity. You've created an interesting and engaging story with a lot of twists and turns and I enjoy it for that alone.

I think that if you were to drop the old "cheating" tag and move some of your new works into other categories, you'd find a place for it. This story, for example, would make a perfect fit in non-con, or with a darker twist, mind control.

Something to think about, keep on writing - I for one do not mind your wild and crazy side.

This really needs to go in nonconsent/reluctance. Other than that... I mean, I can't read it without being overwhelmed with all kinds of unfortunate implications and it sits off my creepy meters too much for me to enjoy it. Wrong category.

It was when Zeke and Tammy (with a y) hooked up. With a great deal of self awareness, Zeke realized he just plum liked Tammy (with a y) more! Tammy (with a Y) for her part seemed to like Zeke just fine too!

Adam, that creepy kidnapping moralistic cesspool was happy (one wonders how many girls he did NOT fall for Tela 'sent' home to a shallow grave somewhere...)

Victoria (don't call me Tori unless you can say it in a way that makes my vagina wet) was happy. She 'settled' to a life of privilege and wealth. Gee...I wonder how many trailer women facing THAT choice WOULDN'T discover 'tru lurv!' pretty darned quick?)

Zeke the Caricature was happy. He had his beer. He had his check. He had someone who loved him.

And Tammy was happy! She set realistic expectations for herself. She knew what she was (a fat broad who wanted someone to make her feel special or at least wanted). She knew what she wanted (Sex and kids) She made compromises (Zeke wasn't winning any prizes...but isn't it funny that he smacked around Tori...I mean Victoria but he NEVER raised a hand to Tammy?)

So, for a brief and glorious second, EVERYONE won! Nobody died!

Alas....

Zeke must be punished for not owning a Mustang and not being a CAD/CAM designer. He didn't run. He was poor and born ugly. He had to be destroyed. It reminds me of the Spartans throwing imperfect children off the rocks to keep their bloodlines 'healthy'.

Still, if there is ONE story I read every week, it's Stang. Even if it isn't good, there is always some clever bits, and always something to talk about.

Your stories are filled with one liners that make me laugh and that makes it worth wading through a couple of pages that should have been on the cutting room floor. Your stories are also mostly about women who have a collective IQ of about 38 and about that time I wonder why the men can be so stupid and fall in love with them?

Great read. As usual!

Somehow this seems like a creative writing class exercise where you call out random places and people and have to put them all together. Love most of your stuff, but the motivations for action in this one were REALLY weak. Victoria should also have discovered a love of oral sex with Adam ... Mustang added exactly zero to the equation. Surgically implanted pain devices?

"Hold it right there," said Zeke. He tried to raise his shotgun and Adam snatched it out of his hands. Zeke stood there looking like a Looney Toons character, wondering how his gun had disappeared. Tammy laughed loudly at him and that was all of the humiliation Zeke could take.

That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time that made me LMFAO!!!

Too close to current events in real life, to me Adam is a creep. Kyle sounds like he should be on Jerry Springer. Well written but not for me, perhaps as I said too close to current events.

"Tammy, call me an ambulance!" said Zeke.

Tammy answers..."Zeke, you're an ambulance!"

Older than Henny Youngman, but still good!

This story is NOT a clone of ANYTHING else.

It IS an original!

Thanks for the effort.

Ripping good yarn!

I stayed up 'way to late to finish it, and I'm glad I did.

Most of the anon's are crying and bitching, about most of his stories, most have missed alot of the oneliners, such as tig ole bitties.

y'all need to get over it(all of the trolls) If'inn ya don't like readin the stories THEN DON'T read them.If your lookin fer proper english dont look here!.

If you think you can do better, THEN SHOW US WHAT YOU'VE GOT!.

the stories here are for our entertainment, and this story was put right where it belongs.

GREAT FUNNY STORY, Thanks stang and milkothebaby

ED

Too many too serious people out there -

It was a fun story with a way out premise that - for this story worked -

The players were all flawed - nothing new for SS06 - the story was plausibly implausible - again nothing new - and it was all just fun to read . Lot's of one liners and smart assed repartee. Tell them one was named Doug MacKenzie heh

...but the non-dialogue bits from the redneck characters was way out of kilter with their own speech. Their prose was "college educated", while their dialogue never made it out of the trailer-park.

tsssk yeah... Ooookay weird

loved that last part about their daughter

Yeesh, Canadians! Did you have to bring Canadians into this.

They're just so...so....unbearably smug about overcharging the US for all the oil we import from them.

Now there's a border that really needs a techno-militaristic fence to keep their sorry asses out when the methane ices in the tundra start to melt and they are all migrating south to overrun us.

Garbage!!!!!!!!

His wife cheated on him, making him hate women, so he and his war buddies decide to kidnap and brainwash an innocent girl, because this loser can't find a women by himself. He jeopardizes her life by kidnapping her using chloroform, which is highly toxic and deadly, a tiny bit too much and she's dead, but hey, he never hit her like Zeke did. Only he didn't have to, because he's rich, so he pays to have a torture device installed and then proceeds to demonstrate it. Zeke was a wife-beating scumbag, but even he never caused her as much pain as that device. The poor girl falls for him because she's uneducated and was never treated well so she doesn't know any better. When he buys her some clothes and some shiny crap she's never seen in her life, he owns her. What a fucking hero.

Love this one, even those pesky Canucks get some page time. Keep up the good work, I enjoy your sense of wit

Holy Jesus Christ on a fucking moped!

This ending has to be the most unintentionally hilarious thing I've ever read.

StangStar06, you're incomparable.

Zeke paralyzed. Holy Deus Ex Machina, Batman!

Cheers!

I loved it; ROFLMAO

DKP

I actually enjoyed the story and thought it had morally ambigious characters. No one was clearly cut positive or negative.

Tori was probably one of the smarter girls in the trailer park, and maybe even too smart for her own good there. She even had the good sense to use birth control. But, she didn't have much experience outside of that world, so she seemed much more ditzy and hapless within Adam's world. Though she prolly did adjust over time there. She was also conflicted about staying faithful to a husband who had never actually shown her any true love, but only kept her as his pretty trophy.

Tammy could have seemed pretty cold and selfish for the most part. Getting knocked up by her sister's husband. She didn't really take care of herself, getting fat and all, and somehow fits in much more with the stereotype that one has of trailer park trash. She did have some redeeming in what might have been the one real truthful conversation she ever had with her sister Victoria, when they were heading to the 7/11.

Adam was probably the most difficult and he seems to be getting most of the hate by other readers. He could be ruthless in business. He has killed for his country. He got really hurt by someone he prolly cared for a long time. Also he was emotionally the most unstable of the characters. PTS or manic-depressive, or perhaps even both to a certain degree. He could pass from a moment of happiness at seeing Tori relaxed and feeling well, to utter dispair when she responded clumsily to something where he might have expected a different response.

Zeke gets drawn up pretty much with the intent of being the least likeable of the bunch. Personally I love to hate the guy. He's not evil or bad in a classic Hollywood fashion. He is what he is. He's the middle-aged trailer park stereotype through and through. He's the archetypical redneck. He can be mostly mean and petty. Thinking only about money, beer and getting sex. Still, I think he did get off worse than was warrented.

Tela was the most present of the secondary characters, and she was pretty conflicted, having fallen for her former CO and friend, but him not noticing any of this. Having to watch the guy pine and suffer over other women. Glad she got it on with Damon at the end.

People here criticize Victoria for falling for Adam, and cheating on Zeke. But, it's not like she was in any position to file for divorce at that time.

The same people don't criticize that Zeke had knocked up Tammy when Victoria was still fetching him beer and getting slapped silly just for answering with simple logic. Hypocrites anyone?

The basic idea of kidnapping someone to have them fall in love with the kidnapper, reminds me a bit of the film "Atame! - Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!" by Pedro Almodovar.

In the end Tori is better off with Adam than she ever was with Zeke, and not just financially.

This here was the best writin' I've saw since I read "Davy Crockett" by Davy Crockett! Nice to finally read writin' by somebody who really knows what to do with the "English Language"!!!

Not far from real live. Keep up the good story telling.

No doubt !

LOL too much fun was had by a - well - a few heh.

That was good....bill

This story would make a fantastic full length book and I would gladly pay for it!

Knowing your writing, SS06, I was nervous and hollering 'No!' towards the end. And then it was perfect and one of my favorites.

I hate you and I love you amazing story

a really good story FROM RAGS TO RICHES FROM BEING BEATEN ON TO BEING LOVED. 5 STARS PLUS. FOLLOW UP STORY??

RON TEXAS COWBOYRIDECC@YAHOO.COM

it is a good story, a bit more like a comic book, but enough truth about things to keep it going. this could be a movie if someone was inclined.

This was a very humorous story. You may have missed a couple of stereotypes about the redneck hillbillies, but what you had was funny. And I really laughed about the Canadians. There were so many humorous lines that I can't remember them all. Thank you for another far-out entertaining and enjoyable story.

First off.... loved your story.No complaints there only praises.Except for the ending bit where Tori says to leave the RF chip system be so as to use it on their DAUGHTER?!? SHE's gonna use a friggin ELECTRUTION SYSTEM ON HER OWN DAUGHTER????

A fu..king load of rubbish, but quite entertaining, all the same!

The problem with this story is that you have to somehow believe that this many stupid people could somehow get together in one place without there being a Donald Trump rally.

But the title is appropriate: They all would be better off dead.

comic book silly but sorta fun Scotty

Gave you a 5 to help offset the asshole annony's vote

Victoria was one stupid trailer trash heifer. But she got the chance of a lifetime. I would have welcomed being kidnapped from my ex. If the kidnapper treated me like Adam treated Tori.

StangStar's imagination just ran wild with this one.

death is not excuse or an answer, TK U MLJ LV NV

It's a well analyzed synopsis of the story and worth repeating so here 'tis again.

((( by krosis666 10/21/13 So...

His wife cheated on him, making him hate women, so he and his war buddies decide to kidnap and brainwash an innocent girl, because this loser can't find a women by himself. He jeopardizes her life by kidnapping her using chloroform, which is highly toxic and deadly, a tiny bit too much and she's dead, but hey, he never hit her like Zeke did. Only he didn't have to, because he's rich, so he pays to have a torture device installed and then proceeds to demonstrate it. Zeke was a wife-beating scumbag, but even he never caused her as much pain as that device. The poor girl falls for him because she's uneducated and was never treated well so she doesn't know any better. When he buys her some clothes and some shiny crap she's never seen in her life, he owns her. What a fucking hero. )))

It's my opinion that krosis666's cynical comments are deadly accurate. That being said, I enjoyed reading the story. Too bad Strangstar couldn't also have had the County Health Dept. track Tammy down at the trailer park and make another TV news splash, after it's learned that she's responsible for spreading a severe strain of Syphilis that she contracted while servicing and being serviced by her strip club customers.

I just read for the first time. Great story and excellent work!

A rollicking roller coaster of a tale!

Justifying kidnapping, mental cruelty, illegal imprisonment, rape and cheating makes this one of the most repugnant stories on Literotica.

Totally Agree! Perfect summation of a terrible story.

I thought it was silly, and not in a good way. It was more like. ...stupid. In my opinion,

one of the Mustang Man's worst efforts.

I love your stories but men like that just don't exist. Maybe that why I read these stories. At least in these stories there appear to be real. I have my heart and my life to my high school sweetheart for almost 15 years then he cheated on me with some 22 year old slut. He was my first and only till the day he walked out on me. I was the loving wife, I was the bread winner, I was the perfect daughter in law to his parents and family. I hardly denied him sex and only time I did when when I was working long hours or had just given birth twice. None of that mattered when he decided to cheat. He not just walked out on me but also our 2 children. He won't pay child support. I worked my butt off raising 2 kids myself. Making sure they didn't miss out on anything that other kids with 2 parents had. But I'm just very lousy when it comes to play soccer with my son. My daughter never had a daddy to wrap around her little finger like other princesses had. All they have is a mum who was always working.

.......Butterfly 🌺😢

I don't think I need to explain why. Everything in this story disgusted me. I can connect with most characters in you're other stories but this one completely turned me off.

I loved it Every bit of it. Anonymous is a loser, He wouldnt know a good story if it slapped him upside his cock sucker. 5 stars

the cuckold faggots and feminist scum

Funny story. I loved Zeke. lol

larious

It was going so well until the last couple of pages. The ending was so convoluted, it ruined the whole fucking thing.

Would have given 5*, But the ending was a rush n comical at best. It discredit n ruin the story.

I was loving it untill the last page.

4*

Gotta love anyone who drives a Shelby !

It's like you said, 'Fuck it, let's finish this thing right now.' And gave up.