Bree's Journey Pt. 02

"I don't understand what you're getting at."

Bryan briefly glanced at Daniel before continuing. "We're pretty secure in our relationship. I know that Daniel's not going to leave me. But, we're not always in sync. Sexually, I mean." He paused for a few seconds, letting that thought sink in. "Daniel has a stronger sex drive than I do. He needs it more often than I want to ...you know, give it."

I understood what he was saying, but I wasn't sure why they were sharing all this with me.

"I'm okay with him, you know, going elsewhere to satisfy those needs."

It hit me like a ton of bricks. "You want me?"

Daniel stood taller and looked me square in the eye. "Yes."

My dick twitched at his bold confession. No one had ever just come out and said anything like that to me. I was touched. Hell, I was fucking aroused. But, I was also freaked out a little by the whole situation.

"I, uh, I'm flattered." I winced at the word I'd used. I was nervous. I didn't know what to say. "That didn't sound right. I, uh, you know, kinda feel the same. But ..." I looked at the two of them, one, then the other. Then I shook my head. "I don't think I can."

Daniel took a step toward me. "Why not?"

My brain started to scramble. I could see the clear outline of his erect cock through his jeans. "You guys are a couple. I can't just..."

Bryan took a step to stand next to Daniel. "I'm totally okay with this."

I held up my hands. "I know you said that, but, shit...what if...what if you suddenly decide afterward that you're not okay with it? I mean, then what? Are we still friends? What?"

"I'm not going to just change my mind..."

Daniel put his hand on Bryan's chest to quiet him. "Let him think about it. We've been talking about this for days, he needs time to catch up. It's a long weekend. We can talk about it tomorrow."

Daniel steadied my shoulders in his hands and leaned in for a kiss. It was over too soon, and I tried to hide the fact that my dick had already made up its mind. But Daniel noticed. He glanced down at the bulge in my jeans and then back up to my face. He knew I wanted him enough to take the risk.

That was over two years ago.

Bryan kept his word. He never once questioned our arrangement. And we've continued to be best friends.

The first year and a half, we only got together with all three of us. I wanted everything to be out in the open. It'd only been this last semester that Daniel and I had spent time alone. Thursday mornings. Not always full-on sex, but I always arrived there prepared for that.

Most of the time, I needed the release as badly as he did. Daniel, and occasionally Bryan, have been my only sexual outlets. It's just too dangerous to have sex with a stranger from the club. Any stranger, for that matter. To get around that, I'd tried dating guys a couple of times in the past, and both times were a disaster. It wasn't them, it was me. Outside of in the bedroom, I just couldn't handle it.

It wasn't being openly gay that bothered me. Hell, I hung around Daniel and Bryan, so most people thought I was, anyway. The thing that always seemed to be lacking for me was the challenge, I guess. Guys have simple needs, and they are easy to read. And most that I know aren't going to push you or test you in any way. For lack of a better way of describing being in that type of relationship, it's boring.

What Bryan and Daniel had was special. They'd grown up together, so they picked at one other the way brothers would. I envied what they had. The closest I'd come to having that was with girls I'd dated.

Girls were challenging. Sometimes to a fault, I'd come to discover. That didn't stop me from wanting to try and unlock the secret door. I felt invigorated when I dated them. I never knew what the next day would bring.

Yeah, sometimes it brought disaster. And hurt. A lot of hurt. I'd learned to protect my heart this past year. At one point, I tried going totally straight. I took a leave from the club and stopped hanging out with Daniel and Bryan so I could focus on the girl I was seeing, Ashley. But sooner or later, your past catches up with you.

About three weeks into my relationship with her, we were at a party and a guy recognized me from the club. He started hitting on me while Ashley was in the restroom. He'd been drinking pretty heavily. I tried to put him off, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. When Ashley returned, and he realized we were together, he decided that maybe she needed to know that I'd been a stripper at a gay club.

Looking back on it now, I don't even think it was the job that caused our breakup. It was the deception. I hadn't told her about it because I didn't want to lose her. Because I loved her. That wasn't enough.

That was the last time I let myself fall. I went back to the club and started working again, never looking back. Until now.

I hadn't thought about Ashley, or mine and Daniel's back story, until now. I guess I'm feeling nostalgic with graduation coming up. My whole life was about to change.

I literally felt like I was standing at the precipice of this enormous cliff, about to jump off into something I couldn't clearly see. Behind me was Daniel, Bryan, my folks, my teachers, my boss, all my past failed relationships, and none of them were coming with me. I was jumping alone.

But it wasn't the alone part that scared me. It was the fact that I didn't have the faintest clue where I was going to land.

Class ended and I realized that I hadn't heard a single word of the lecture. It didn't matter, I'd pretty much already secured an 'A' in that class, since the majority of our grade was a project that I'd aced. It was Friday, so I was free for the rest of the day.

What to do...

I usually went back to my apartment and caught up on sleep. Working late on Thursday night and having a morning class on Friday meant only a few hours of shut-eye for me. But for some reason, I found myself driving to Daniel's place.

It was a really stupid idea, I decided, as I parked my car and strode up the walkway. Both Daniel and Bryan were at the campus by now, getting ready for their first classes of the day. Bree would be alone here, and most likely still sleeping.

When my door taps went unanswered, I should've left. Right then, I should've turned on my heel and headed straight for my car. Instead, my hand went for the door knob and twisted it.

The house was quiet. The master bedroom door was open to an empty bed, while the spare bedroom door was shut, presumably with Bree behind it.

I settled onto the sofa, toeing off my shoes before stretching my legs and sprawling full-out. I thought I might get some studying in while I was there, but suddenly the lack of sleep was starting to take its toll. You should just drive home and crash in your own bed. I was feeling too tired to even muster up the energy to leave, so I simply got comfortable and dozed off.

Some time later, I heard a door opening and the sound of shuffling bare feet across the tile floor. I opened my eyes to spy Bree standing at the coffee pot in the kitchen. She was wearing an oversized tee shirt and nothing else, that I could see. It was the same tee she'd been wearing the morning before.

She turned with her mug in her hand and almost spilled it on herself. "Shit. I didn't know you were there."

My mind was still in a haze. I think I mumbled, "sorry."

"I've got to check when I come around the corner. That's two mornings in a row for me."

She took a breath and then sat in the chair opposite me. It was then that I realized she was also wearing blue panties.

"What are you doing here?"

I was beginning to realize what a mistake it was for me to have come. I had absolutely no excuse for this visit. Since my brain wasn't functioning well enough to come up with a lie, I decided to just answer truthfully. "I don't know. My car just sort of drove here."

"I think the guys both have classes this morning."

"I figured as much." Of course, I'd known that before I drove over, but I wasn't about to confess that little tidbit of information. That would make it look like I came to see her. And I didn't. Right?

"Do you have more classes today?"

I shook my head and rubbed the sleep from my eyes, then launched into a huge yawn and stretch. I wasn't going back to sleep for awhile. "Is there more coffee in there?"

"Yeah. I'm so sorry. Let me get you a cup."

I tried to protest, but she was already on her feet.

"How do you like it?"

"Black. With a little sugar."

"Coming right up."

She brought the steaming mug over and carefully placed it on the coffee table. In leaning over, she managed to flash me her tits and her panties in one shot. I had to hide the grin that was tugging at my lips. Then another thought occurred to me.

The only reason she wasn't being more careful, why she hadn't tugged at the hem of the shirt and ran off to the bedroom to put on more clothes, was because she didn't view me as a threat. She didn't think I'd act on her half-nakedness. Part of me was offended on behalf of my cock. The other part was genuinely charmed. It was certainly new territory for me.

"Thanks. You didn't have to do that. I would've gotten my lazy ass up to get it."

Bree dismissed it with the wave of her hand as she settled back into the chair, her legs curled up under her, balancing her cup on her knees. We fell into one of our comfortable silences again. I lifted myself up onto one elbow to sip the hot coffee she'd brought me as I snuck glances at her. She was deep in thought about something. I remembered the reason why she'd come to Austin in the first place.

"Have you talked to your friend in Dallas, yet?"

Bree shook her head. "I need to just call him and get it over with."

"Are you hesitating because you're not sure?"

"No. Because I'm chicken."

"Of what?"

"I don't know. I'm afraid he'll want to get together to talk this through, and then I'll somehow end up in his bed, again."

"Do you often find yourself unwittingly in bed with men?"

Bree shrugged. "Sometimes. I don't always think it through. I'm a little impulsive when it comes to sex."

"You sound like every guy I know."

"But not every girl. I know."

"That's not a bad thing, darlin'. As long as you're not impulsive with your heart."

"No. I'm definitely not that. In fact, just the opposite."

"Why is that?"

"Oh, it's a long story. A high school romance gone bad."

"We've all had one of those."

"Yeah, well, not many girls get dumped at prom for the quarterback of the football team."

"No shit?"

"Caught red handed in his car by a cheerleader. It was on Facebook before I even knew about it. Pictures and all."

"God, how awful. That retched little bitch..."

"Well, she was pregnant with the quarterback's child, so imagine how pissed she was. It was all anyone talked about for the rest of the year. They probably still talk about it, for all I know.

"For me, it was the worst brand of humiliation. Lance and I had been a couple for over a year. We were talking about getting engaged. I practically had my wedding colors picked out. And the whole time, he was seeing someone else on the side."

"That's just shitty."

"You'd think that I would be sensitive about cheating husbands after that, wouldn't you? You know how many married men I've been with?"

I shook my head.

"Four, technically. One more, if you count my best friend's fiancé the night before their wedding. What kind of shitty friend does that make me?"

I didn't have an answer for her because she was hitting a little too close to home for me, too. I'd been doing the same thing.

"I need to end this self-destructing pattern."

Fuck. Is that what I've been doing? Self-destructing?

"I need to break it off with Miles and get serious about my relationships. I've just been avoiding going after what I really want for years."

Bingo.

"I always seem to look for the safe alternative. The 'no-strings-attached' guy."

Bree had been staring at her mug as she recounted her story and launched into her self evaluation. She suddenly looked up at me and blinked, as if just realizing that I was there.

"I'm sorry to just dump all this on you. I woke up in some kind of funk this morning. I haven't thought about all this shit with Lance in ages. I guess last night sort of brought it all back to me."

"It's okay. What are friends for, right?" I silently chastised myself for sounding like a cliché, then decided the best thing to do was to keep talking. "You've sat and listened to some of my sob stories, so this just makes us even."

"At least you carry yourself with some dignity."

"You're saying that to the guy who takes off his clothes for a crowd of gay men two times a week. Believe me, there is nothing dignified about that."

"It's not like being the lover of a married man, though. You at least get paid to strip."

"Would it make it better if you got paid to sleep with married men?"

"In a way, yes. Then there would be a reason, other than my own selfishness, for doing it. And after the affair was over, I'd still have the money."

"But the result is the same. The guy is still cheating on his marriage."

"That part doesn't bother me as much. That's his decision, and his arrangement with someone else. What bothers me is that I have so little respect for myself that I would agree to be second best. That's on me, not on the guy."

I hadn't given it much thought, but what she was saying was absolutely true. It was slightly different with me, Daniel, and Bryan, but not enough for her reasoning to be dismissed. I had no other relationship but the one I was in with them. And in that relationship, I was the expendable one.

Maybe that was what was bothering me so much lately. It wasn't just my career path that was hazy, but it was my whole personal life, as well. There was no one with whom to look forward to sharing my life in the future, male or female. Just a big, black chasm of uncertainty. I'd been fucking my way toward absolutely nothing. Focusing all my energy into something that was never going to give anything back.

I didn't blame Daniel and Bryan for that. It was my fault. If I'd told them that I wanted something more substantial, they would've supported me moving onto someone else. And we still would be great friends.

I wanted to share with Bree that what she'd said had really resonated with me. But I couldn't. It would violate my trust with Daniel. This was his sister, not some random girl. I had to remember that.

We sat in silence long enough for my thoughts to wander to other things. Sex, mostly, but that was my favorite topic. It'd also been more than 24 hours since I last jacked off. While that wasn't a record, it was still longer than I went most weeks. I was due.

I studied Bree's bare legs. Her little toes wiggling against the upholstery, her delicate fingers caressing the sides of her mug. They would feel amazing on my cock, gently tracing the veins up and down my shaft, tickling the rim of my cock and gliding over the sensitive mushroom head. It'd been ages since I'd felt a girl's hands on me. Since I'd caressed silky inner thighs, and smooth, pliable breasts.

Women were soft and creamy and wet. I wanted to lose myself in all those luscious curves. Consume them until they belonged to me. Until they were mine to lick, suck, and fuck to oblivion. Sex with a woman always made me greedy. Possessive. So different than how I felt when I fucked men. With men, I just sought release. The connection hardly ever went deeper than that. Even with Daniel. We were both out for the same thing: To get off. Nothing more.

The only problem with being intimate with women was that I always felt I needed to hold back. I couldn't just unleash the intense, possessive, sex-crazed monster right away. I'd tried before, and it had ended up spooking the shit out of them. So, I held back the passion and just gave them sex. I knew that it could be so much more. With the right girl, it would be life-changing.

Bree got up and announced that she was going to shower. She glanced at my crotch briefly, making an amused face before she turned away. I realized immediately why she'd done that. While I was daydreaming about fucking a woman, and at times, Bree, my cock had gotten hard as steel.

So, what? I'm supposed to just not be human? She was sitting there in nothing but a tee shirt and underwear. Fuck. How could I not be thinking about having sex with her?

I cursed myself for at least not having the decency to pull the blanket over my mid section. Why didn't I?

Who cares if she saw your hard rod? Good. Now she knows what kind of effect she has on you.

I didn't know if I really believed that last thought. For one, she probably didn't assume I was hard because of her. She wasn't like that, and I did just wake up, so she could've thought it was a morning boner. Secondly, maybe it wasn't because of her. Most of my thoughts were about women, in general, and not really Bree.Bullshit.

Fuck, I'm so confused on what to think about her. Do I want to just be friends, or try for something more? What does she want? Because right now, she looks like she just wants friendship from me.

I didn't let those thoughts get in the way of my raging hard-on. I knew as soon as I heard that water running, I was going to head to the hall bathroom and relieve the pressure in my balls.

I'm going to imagine coming up behind her in that shower, running my hands over her slick body, and then bending her over to fuck her juicy cunt. Hard and furious, the way I like it.

I could tell that I was going to have a difficult time walking to the bathroom. And I wasn't going to last long.

***

Bree

I'd put some of the details of last night out of my mind until I noticed the bulge in Kieran's jeans. Fuck, he's big. Memories of his thrusting pelvis and flexing butt muscles made my knees feel weak. He was so different at the club than how I'd imagined he'd be. So wild, so uninhibited. So far removed from the reserved Kieran that I'd met at the party. I remember thinking that he'd be boring in bed.

Hardly.

But as much as I'd fantasized about having that hot, gyrating body to myself, I knew it would never happen. We had everything going against us. My brother, Kieran's bi-sexuality coupled with my past, and distance. It didn't occur to me when Kieran first told me he was bi that maybe that'd be a problem for me. I'd suppressed that whole disaster with Lance so much that it didn't come back up until I saw Kieran kissing that man. While it was hot to watch, it also brought to surface some other, unwanted feelings. Of inadequacy and heartbreak. Clearly Kieran wasn't Lance. He wasn't even my boyfriend, but it brought up old memories. Ones I didn't want to remember. Ever.

Regardless, though. We lived miles apart. It was ridiculous to even consider. Besides, Kieran hadn't made a single pass at me. He wasn't interested.

I stepped into the shower and tried uselessly to focus on something other than him. He was in the next room. I glanced over at the bathroom door. I hadn't even shut it all the way. He could walk in at any moment.

My nipples hardened at that thought. I pictured him leaning against the door frame, his arms folded in front of his impossibly wide chest as he ogled me. God, what a sight that would be.

Lord, I want to fuck that man. Just once. I want to know if he's as good in bed as he is on the dance floor.

I lathered up my hands and took an extra long time washing my breasts. Then I slid my hand down between my thighs to cup my pussy. My inner flesh was scalding to the touch, even beneath the jets of the hot shower. I wished that it were his beefy fingers caressing my swollen clit, rather than mine.