All Comments on 'Camping Adventure'

A confused story, not telling who was who, how they got to that situation, and above all, I never see camping with beds, couches, doors...They were fucking in the couch and ended it in the bed...

A wonderful, sexy story marred by a lack of editing.

Well, they COULD have been in a cabin. However, that is at best a guess since the, uh, writer never did establish where the were of the circumstances outside of the title.

<P>

Outside of that, yeah, every comment it valid, e.g., poor punctuation (if any), confusing POV, constantly changing tense.

Loved it. The writer was completely turned on by watching his wife be a whore next to him. Hot scene. She got the big dick she was craving.

You start in 2nd person POV, always a lousy POV for a new writer or for any writer of erotica, then switch to 3rd person--mostly, I think. (I'm trying to get the point across that it's a confusing story.) As others have commented you don't set the scene very well either, (camping with a bed? possible but must be developed)

On the plus side you have a very good story line that you can develop into quite a story. In fact I,m working on a story with the working title, The Camp, that takes a path very similar to yours.

Keep writing, you're going to be really good.

Very nice story,I liked it.Everyone had a great time.That is all that counts.

Happiness is knowing your place and enjoying it. I could easily have been the husband. Watching my wife being sexually satisfied would get me off too.

I expected to read about some fun during a camping trip. Now, unless you usually carry a bed and couch with you, I somehow think you got confused yourself I. What you were writing about.

I had strong voyeur impulses since the onset of puberty.

As a young man I was a voyeur son! I spied on my mom; essentially I was a peeping Tom.

Nowadays I am a voyeur husband; I am fully comfortable to be what I am but I have never told my wife just how much kinky I am (better safe than sorry).

Written by a 12 year old whose mum doesn’t know he’s on her computer again.

I enjoyed this, thank you.