Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 05

"You feeling any better?" Keegan asked, looking down on her. Tonight she wore a stylish jean dress. It had cuffed ¾ sleeves and reached an inch above her knees. A braided brown belt cinched her waist and emphasized her pear shape while silver sandals sat on her feet. She didn't feel like carrying a purse and Keegan assured her she had no reason to, so she'd left everything home.

"Yeah—sorry for crying like that. But that nap did do wonders." She laughed. "I'm usually a lot stronger than that, but it's harder with them."

"No need to explain, I get it." And he really did get it. Keegan had a similar experience with his father. He knew it was difficult to deliberately and continuously disappoint someone who wasn't replaceable. But it was also even more difficult to live your entire life for someone else. It took time, but he eventually got to the place where Sabrina was headed.

"Thanks." She said. "I just want to have fun with you tonight." Her last sentence was more of an exhaling sigh. Fun was one of the reasons she'd chosen Hibachi over all the other expensive restaurants nearby. It was almost certain that food flying toward her mouth could bring her happiness.

*

Sabrina and Keegan took their seat at the large Hibachi style table. Their chef stood in the center, waiting for the others to take their seats as well. He was a serious looking Asian man and extremely intimidating. A few older women sat to Sabrina's left, chattering quietly.

They were well dressed and clearly just enjoying their night. One of them glanced in her direction and gave her a sweet smile. Sabrina returned it with one of her own before she began laying her napkin over her lap.

Keegan was reclined deeply in his seat beside her. She laughed at his bored expression and glided her hand down his thigh.

"Hungry?" She asked, already knowing the answer. He usually got really impatient when he was hungry, especially when waiting for food. He smiled at her for knowing him so well before nodding sheepishly. The scooting of a chair on Keegan's right brought their attention in that direction. A black couple, probably in their mid 50's, took their seat on the adjacent side of the table.

The woman was gorgeous, with almond brown skin and glossy hair styled short in a pixie cut. She was slimly built, curving lightly in expected places. Her partner was large in mass but not quite overweight. He had a handsome face that was contorted into a nasty grimace. Sabrina looked toward the direction of his gaze to see it was unashamedly for Keegan. Sabrina was frightened to see a similar expression on Keegan's face too.

When Sabrina raised her gaze toward the couple again, they both held that same emotion but now, it was directed straight between her eyes. She recoiled at the intensity and an image of her mother and sisters sharing those exact gazes flashed to her.

Keegan tensed when he saw them zoning in on Sabrina. It was more than obvious their concern was centered on race. But Sabrina had been through enough today and he wasn't going to let anyone, let alone strangers, add to it.

Already feeling his anger rising to a confrontational level, Sabrina spoke.

"Keegan, it's alright." She whispered, not leaving their gaze. She smoothed her hand over his thigh a few more times. She noted how their scowls deepened when she showed Keegan affection. Somehow, the feeling of further angering them excited her. It almost made her want to laugh, and she knew this would be an interesting dinner.

Sabrina could see that Keegan had calmed down a bit yet was still on his toes. She kept physical contact with him as much as she could; part of the reason being that she wanted him to stay in his current relaxed state and the other reason was to annoy the couple eagerly watching them.

A burst of heat in front of her grabbed her attention. Everyone looked forward to see their chef sautéing shrimp in a huge heap of flames. Sabrina's mouth began to water at the sight. Once they were thoroughly cooked, the chef began searching for participants to begin tossing them.

He gave everyone around the table inquisitive glances and surprisingly, everyone declined. But when he got to Sabrina, she giggled before she opened her mouth wide. Keegan chuckled at her over eagerness. The chef smiled slyly before doing a 360 and using his spatula to toss a shrimp her way.

Sabrina kept her eyes on it and tried to follow its direction with her head. Just when she thought she'd get it, another frame splayed itself over her lap and stole her shrimp out of thin air. The table erupted out in laughter—all except for the pointlessly angry couple. Keegan returned to his spot in the chair and smirked at her while chewing her piece of shrimp.

Sabrina was practically glaring at him. He choked out a laugh and pecked her pursed, rigid lips. The feel of his flesh against hers had subdued her light irritation and her cheek rose slightly.

"Take my food again," She started half-heartedly, "there will be problems." She tried not to cower away from Keegan's nearing smile. His face was getting closer and closer to hers.

It was more than obvious he was putting on a show for their admirers, and Sabrina was fine with it.

"Oh really?" He mumbled low enough for only them to hear. She gave him a smug look, almost daring him to kiss her. Although she felt them growing a bit too intimate for the comfort of a public restaurant even though she did want to go along with his schemes. So she turned her head abruptly and focused on the chef. She nodded to signal she was ready for her second try.

He flung her a piece of shrimp and this time she caught it without any interference from Keegan. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until the perfectly seasoned seafood landed on her tongue. She gave Keegan a wide eyed look and moaned aloud.

"It's good isn't it?" He asked her. She nodded furiously, mesmerized by the tasty food. She looked toward the chef for more and he chortled while positioning her second piece.

*

Sabrina and Keegan ended their date night with a nap at home instead of the movie which was originally planned. But they were both full and exhausted after their long day of church, even after the nap. The next morning, Sabrina awoke before Keegan; something that rarely occurred.

She sat on the toilet to release the Hibachi dinner she'd had the night before. She was slumped over her legs, letting her mind wander aimlessly toward time consuming thoughts. A knock on the door brought her out of her trance.

"I'm pooping." Sabrina whined. Keegan's drowsy chuckle was muffled by the wall's barrier.

"I have to pee." He complained. Sabrina was about to reply when the door just flung open. The toilet was along the same wall as the bathroom's entrance so she had a clear view of his intrusion. Keegan barely spared her a glance as he stormed inside. He walked toward the tub and stood positioned himself above the drain. The curtain was peeled back to Sabrina could see him perfectly. He pulled his briefs down just enough to allow his dick to spring out.

He began relieving himself inside the shower, a grimace on his face as he did. Just as quickly as the smile came, after a deep inhale, it contorted into an extremely humorous expression of disgust. Sabrina burst out into an uncontrollable laughing fit at his response. His movements became rushed and he was nearly running to the door. Sabrina pivoted her body on the toilet so that she was facing the wall adjacent to his destination. She put her feet up against the exit and gave him a mischievous smile. Since the door opened inward, he had no way of getting by her.

"You're about to miss the finale." She whispered seductively, giving him an evil grin. As she said the sentence, she forced out a small toot. Keegan honestly looked as repulsed as he could ever look, which surprisingly only made the situation funnier to Sabrina. He picked up her legs and began to pull them off of the wall they were resting against. Sabrina squealed as her body leaned forward and she fell clumsily off of the toilet and loudly onto the floor. Keegan noted the muffled sounds exiting her lips and she laid face down on the linoleum with her underwear around her ankles.

"Sabrina, you okay?" Keegan asked, worried his playfulness had gone too far. He bent down to press his palm against her upturned back. She eventually turned around to reveal that she was laughing to the point of suffocation. The sounds were getting caught in her throat and sounded a lot like soft crying sobs when pointed downwards. Keegan, eased to see she wasn't hurt, leaned up to his full stature. But that only allowed him a clear view of what was in the toilet, and that caused him to gag roughly before storming out of the bathroom to leave Sabrina crying on the floor.

*

Keegan had gone back to bed after their hilarious yet disturbing bathroom meeting. She didn't have to work today and Keegan's shift at the library didn't start until 1 so there was time to spare. Since Sabrina had an early start, she decided to put together breakfast. She inaudibly padded out of the living room in only Keegan's huge Polo tee-shirt and underwear. It was one of her favorite shirts to wear and Keegan had graciously given it to her. She loved it because the inner lining was soft to the touch. It caressed her body comfortingly while she lounged around with her thumb securely between her lips.

Sabrina got out a carton of eggs and began the steps of preparation.

A call from her mother was estimated to come in around 4 o'clock—Sabrina was almost certain. But, contrasting with yesterday's feelings, she was ready. A piece of her almost wanted her to call earlier, just so she could defend Keegan as best she could and get it over with. The fact that he urged her to choose her family over him proved why she'd never be able to and why she loved him so much.

She unconsciously sighed.

These were the moments where she missed her father. He was probably the only person on this Earth that knew her best. They'd been best friends up until the incident that tore them apart. Out of all her sisters, she took the divorce the hardest. Sabrina was distraught for only a very short amount of time. She could remember sitting in bed, staring up at her ceiling fan at the age of 15 and just wondering where she'd gone wrong. What didn't she have that would force him to volunteer his seed to another woman?

But her sadness swiftly morphed into rage. It was the same fury that sat inside her to this day; still as vibrant as the day it was formed. He had gone from a kind, understanding daddy to a lying, cheating, greedy stranger.

He'd left her in this manipulative group of vultures completely defenseless. There was no one there to stand up for her like he'd always done. He would put some bass in his voice when her mother tried to force her along to all the church affairs when all she wanted to do was play. Erica eventually gave up, murmuring something involving the word 'heathens'. They'd stand at the door side by side and watch Brittany follow their mother with Ivy trailing behind. Even then, they were a trio that excluded Sabrina. But at that moment, it didn't matter because she was with someone who was also standing on the outside. She had a parent who knew her, cared about her interests and would help her make them apparent to her mother and sisters. And that was something shethoughtshe'd have forever.

She prepared the meal without paying full attention to what she was doing. Half of her mind was unconsciously making decisions on when to flip the French toast or check on the bacon inside the oven, but the other half was racing uncontrollably. It was constantly filling itself with the biggest, most complex aspects of her life and the situation before her that needed to be dealt with.

*

"Her mom hates me—actually her sisters do too." Keegan told Connor. Today was a slow afternoon at the library, so they both decided to catch up on shelving returned books. Connor was on the other side of the room yet they could still hear one another clearly.

Keegan hated to admit it, but he and Connor were growing closer than he and Quincy were. Part of the reason being that he only went to his apartment every two weeks, while he had to work with Connor every day. He and Quincy were both so busy that it was getting harder to make plans suitable for them both.

"And you're sure it has to do with race?" Connor asked.

"Yeah," Keegan replied. "What else could it be? She doesn't know anything about me."

"Are you sure? Sometimes when you don't shave you look like an old hobo..." Connor couldn't even finish his sentence because of the look Keegan was shooting him. He burst out into laughter. Keegan however, didn't share Connor's same amusement. Sooner or later his friend had caught onto his mood and settled himself.

"Sometimes this happens, Keegan. But if she's still around then it means she's unaffected by it. So you're fine; relax." Connor took a reflective pause. "Lacey's dad hates me." Keegan shot his friend a glance from across the room.

"Yeah," He responded to his unspoken disbelief. Connor and his girlfriend Lacey had been dating for over 3 years. He spoke of her all the time, as Keegan did Sabrina. But over the course of time Keegan had found that Lacey was very loyal. "He didn't think I could take care of his daughter while trying to fulfill this 'bullshit dream'." Keegan knew those were her father's exact words based off of how Connor spat them out.

While Connor was trying to get his bar idea rolling, she'd kept him motivated to continue when he felt like the effort would never pay off. They'd made investments and had many moments where he would lose sight in his lifelong dream and get too caught up in his temporary job. But Connor had told Keegan, she was the reason he had gotten so far. He never thought he'd get in so many arguments where someone else was defendinghisdream and he was shooting it down.

Keegan then shared a similar situation with Sabrina, leading the men to believe that they'd had the women every man would want. And as far as Sabrina was concerned, Keegan was convinced that was true.

"I was hopping from job to job—just trying to get the shit off the ground in a reasonable amount of time. But the years were stretching and he seemed to hate me more and more. He'd try and make Lacey see how I would never get it together. Although Lacey knew how much it meant to me to have my name attached to a business, so she stayed."

"Damn," Keegan started, "she stuck around for 3 years... I think it's time for a ring." He suggested, giving him a sly smile. Connor returned it, nodding in agreement with his lips pursed.

"I think so too." He mumbled. A vibrating sound filled the large space and Keegan looked toward the checkout counter to see his cell phone illuminated. He rushed toward it, remembering that Sabrina was expecting her mother to call soon. He hoped it wasn't her, calling because it hadn't gone as well as she thought.

He was relieved to see it was his mother. He stepped into the back room and took a seat on the black futon couch.

"Hey mom." He greeted. He was considering calling her tonight too. Although since he hadn't, she'd never believe him.

"Keegan, this is getting too ridiculous. We need to make up a schedule or something because you just aren't calling me enough!" Keegan scooted deep into the cushion so that his head rested against the low back of the chair.

"Okay, tell me the schedule and I'll follow it." He said.

"Call every Sunday evening and if you're busy then, you call me Monday evening."

"I like that—I get a little backup day."

"Yeah but you better use it. I hate having to call you all the time. Denise gets a call from Quincy every other day; why can't I get one from you at least every week?" Keegan rolled his eyes at the comparison.

"Quincy also gets thousand dollar allowances from his mom every two weeks." Keegan said bitterly. He quickly regretted the words once it was too late.

"What?" His mother whispered in a voice of shock. He groaned aloud and then sat his hand over his eyes out of frustration with himself.

"Yeah but don't say anything about it." Keegan said.

"I won't, I won't." She sighed deeply before speaking again. "I can't believe that even in a situation that requires independence he's still... spoiled." That was Quincy. He was always a high maintenance kid and was groomed to be a high maintenance man too.

"Well, that's Q." Keegan chuckled. He swallowed roughly before he spoke again. "Mom I actually wanted to talk to you about something." His mother sat patiently on the other line.

"I have a girlfriend."

"I knew it! You've had one this entire time haven't you? She's why you broke up with Bethany, why you haven't been writing or calling me!"

"Hey," Keegan sat up a little straighter in his seat. He knit his eyebrows together tightly while his blood heated slightly. "She's been pushing me to write more. Ihadn'tbeen writing because I didn't want to. But I'm done ¾ of my novel because of her. And I broke up with Bethanyforher, not because of her." Keegan needed to clarify the tiny aspects of his relationship with Sabrina. He didn't want them off on the wrong foot before they even met.

"So you're saying she doesn't know about Bethany?" His mother asked.

"No, and I don't have any plans on telling her." Bethany was Keegan's past that just so happened to momentarily bleed into his present. But as of now, her small part in his relationship wasn't important.

"Are you sure that's the right choice?" Keegan barely took a second to think it over.

"What would anyone get out of it?" He asked rigidly.

"Keegan, honey you can't be serious?" Silence proved he was. "You cheated, for God's sake. Then not to mention how many times you've lied about it all just to save yourself. You don't think she deserves to know what kind of things you're capable of?—The type of man she's committing herself to?" Keegan was at a loss for words. Not because he was dwelling on the nature of his mother's words, but because he didn't care for them. Bottom line was that he'd never voluntarily jeopardize his relationship with Sabrina.

"Every phone call is more shocking than the last." She reflected. Keegan flexed his neck in discomfort and sniffed roughly.

"Have a good night." She said quietly before she hung up in his ear.